Other Character Email Jaro/smell

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CAST: Poopsmith, Jaro, Grundy, Chorch, Super Sam, FBI, Cops

SUMMERY: Chorch is being rebuilt, and Super Sam attacks.

LINES: 118

Transcript

{Fade to a dark room. The Poopsmith is standing in the middle of the room with a welders mask, gloves, and a torch. Jaro and Grundy enter from the opposite side of the room.}

JARO: How’s he coming?

POOPSMITH: Not good. His body’s been severely damaged. I don’t know how I’ll fix this.

GRUNDY: Hang in their old buddy. We’ll fix you.

JARO: Well, time for checking emails.

GRUNDY: What? Our best friend is broken! Is checking email all you think about?

JARO: Hey, I think about lots of other things, like cell phones and fast cars, and those little umbrellas in the drinks. But we can’t do anything to fix him, so we will check email.

{Grundy and Jaro bounce/walk to the email room.}

JARO: This email is dedicated to Chorch.

Hey ugly face, You stink. Get some built-in deodarisezrs
to stop you from stinking.
You stink,
Joshua

JARO: Mr. J, you have just made a serious mistake.

GRUNDY: You do know that we are trained in the fields of marshal arts, kung foo, otter jumping, and cow punching.

JARO: Cow punching? Next you’re going to say somethin’ like “Horse kicking”. Hee hee. Horse. Anyway, how DAR YOU call me Ugly Face?? That’s rude, hurtfull, and rude! And further more, don’t you remember the golden rule?

GRUNDY: No.

JARO: It states something like “Do one to others as they would do to you if you wanted.” Or something like that.

GRUNDY: Yeah, Mister Joshua. How would you like it if we called you-

{Cut to a grey screen with the words “Inipropriate comment censored!”. Cut back to Jaro and Grundy. Jaro looks shocked.}

JARO: That was the worst thing I ever heard.

GRUNDY: I said Poopoo head.

JARO: {gasp} Profanity!

GRUNDY: Right…..

JARO: Well whoever, you’ve turned a worse day into a…um…worser day. Thanks Joshy.

X-5: Wait.

JARO: What?

X-5: Sensors indicate that this email was not sent by Joshua, but it was sent by Super Sam!!

JARO: Super Sam?

GRUNDY: Who’s that?

X-5: Super Sam: Born on May 25th 1991. A popular flash animator from Australia who created the hit series “Imitation Strong Bad Emails”. In 2010, he discovered a formula that made him imortal, so he is still alive today.

{The Poopsmith runs in with Chorch in his hands.}

POOPSMITH: I’m afraid I gots some good news, and bad news. The good news is that I’ve reassembled Chorch!

{Jaro and Grundy look happy.}

POOPSMITH: The bad news is that I can’t turn him back on.

{They look sad again.}

POOPSMITH: I’ve tried everything.

{Cut to The Poopsmith with a hammer. He is holding it above Chorch. He is about to swing it when it cuts to a different scene. At an empty room, he opens an airlock, Chorch in his arms. Cut to Poopsmith sitting in a bathtub. He is holding Chorch. He is raising a plugged in toaster above the water. Cut back to Jaro.}

JARO: Don’t worry Chorch. We’ll get you reactivated…I hope.

{Cut to another room. A powerful beam of green light shoots through the wall, and Super Sam comes out. He is wearing a spider-like mech on his back.}

SUPER SAM: Ha! Now, I will destroy Jaro for making a Bonus Stage refferince one or seven emails ago!

{Pan over to see The Poopsmith standing next to him.}

POOPSMITH: How do you plan on doing that?

SUPER SAM: Well, I- Wha? Get out of here!

POOPSMITH: Okay. {walks off}

SUPER SAM: Now I’ve lost my train of thought,…oh yeah! ! Heh-heh-heh! With my Spider-Mech, I can destroy those guys in a snap

{Pan over to see The Poopsmith next to him again.}

POOPSMITH: With a Spider-Mech? I can turn into a Flaming Poopsmith, and our ship has-

SUPER SAM: GO AWAY!!!!

POOPSMITH: Yeesh. {walks off}

SUPER SAM: Alright, no more fooling around. {walks off}

{Cut to the computer room.}

JARO: And those are my opinions on pecan pie.

GRUNDY: Eh, what were we talking about again?

SUPER SAM: {offscreen} We were talking about your death.

GRUNDY: Oh yeah. Thanks mysterious voice from offscreen.

JARO: Watch out!

{Jaro pushes Grundy out of the way of a laser.}

SUPER SAM: Curses! {shoots lasers randomly}

{The Poopsmith walks in with a casual look on his face. A laser goes by him, and he turns around and walks away.}

JARO: Nice strategy!

{Jaro and Grundy walk out the same door The Poopsmith did.}

SUPER SAM: Hey! Come back here!

{He trys to follow them, but his mech is too big to fit through the door.}

SUPER SAM: Crap! {He takes it off and walks out the door.} I’ve got you now.

JARO: How? You left your spider mech in the other room.

SUPER SAM: Oh yeah. I still have this gun though!

GRUNDY: Watch out!

{They jump out of the way of random lasers. One of them hits Chorches body. His eyes turn on.}

CHORCH: Where am I?

JARO: Chorch!

CHORCH: Jaro? What’s going on?

{It shows Jaro cornered by Super Sam.}

JARO: Never mind that! Just call the police!

CHORCH: {Pulls a phone down from the ceiling. An arrow appears next to it with the text “Random generic phone”.} I need the FBI!

{The FBI from Liam and Sam come through the door.}

FBI GUY #1: Hello, we are the FBI.

EVERYONE: Hello FBI!

FBI GUY #1: Hello. We are here to arrest you for trying to attack a Fanstuff of the Week winner.

{FBI guy #2 tackles Super Sam.}

SUPER SAM: Ack!

{Fade to show Super Sam in handcuffs. Two police officers are standing by.}

SUPER SAM: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you pesky kids! And your stupid Poopsmith!

POOPSMITH: Crappy dappy doo!

SUPER SAM: Shut up!

POLICE OFFICER: You’re going to jail for a long long time.

SUPER SAM: How long?

POLICE OFFICER: {looks at his watch} Times up. You’re free to go.

SUPER SAM: Ha ha! {presses a button on his watch causing him to disappear}

POLICE OFFICER: {looks at a clipboard} Oh wait, I had it upside down. He still has 45 months.

JARO: Can you look for him?

POLICE OFFICER: Woah woah, that’s out of our area of expertise. Well, I don’t want to miss Free Doughnut Hour at Krispey Kream. {walks off}

JARO: Well Chorch, it’s good to have you back.

CHORCH: It’s good to be back. {looks around} Oh wait, no it isn’t. You could have at least done some re-decorating while I was gone.

JARO: Yep, he’s still the same Chorch.

Click here to email Jaro.

EASTER EGGS

  • Moo.

Fun Facts

  • To understand Chorches situation, read Evil.
  • Punching Cows is a running gag that started in Gunhaver Emails.
  • For more info on Imitation Strong Bad Emails, see I-Sbemails.
  • Super Sam trying to kill The Unguraits, references there Email Show, where they have an unnecessary amount of enemies and Bonus Stage refernces.
  • Liam and Sam is a flash cartoon made by Sahm. It is a favorite of NachoMan.
  • Starbucks is a popular coffee shop.


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