Other Character Email Jaro/fhqwhgads

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Wow, Fhqwhgads has grown.

CAST:Jaro, Chorch, Grundy, My Benji, Fhqwhgads, Cop Robots, 40X6 Jaro, The Poopsmith, Liekand, The Cheat, Muchkins

SUMMERY:After getting a love letter, Fhqwhgads attacks.

LINES:229

TRANSCRIPT

JARO: Time for check emailing.

i love u

-fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf

{Jaro looks at the name while reading the email, and doesn't even bother to read it.}

JARO: Yeesh lady, could your name be any longer?

GRUNDY: Is this spam?

JARO: Computer, find all info on this persons name.

X-5: Fhqwhgads. Emailed Strong Bad in 2001, with her "I love you" email. She then was put in the popular music video "Everybody to the Limit". Ever since the day that was released, she wasn't seen again.

JARO: Strange. Can we see a picture?

X-5: Yes. {A picture of the Atari dragon appears onscreen.}

JARO: Hmm. Any more info?

X-5: Yes. In 2004, other people in the "Homestar dimension" have been getting her email. But still, she has not been seen in public.

JARO: So we got her email. I'm wondering why its riddled with spelling errors.

GRUNDY: Me to.

CHORCH: X-5, is there any code in this email?

X-5: Yes.

CHORCH: Please decode.

X-5: Decoding....decoding done.

{The following message appears onscreen.}

I hate you.

-Fhqwhgads P.S. I'm coming to destroy you.

JARO: Destroy us? Are you sure you coded this right?

X-5: Yes. I have used the most advanced coding and spell checks methods.

JARO: Why would Fhqwhgads want to destroy us? We never did anything to her.

GRUNDY: Maybe it's a joke.

CHORCH: I have never heard of someone saying they hate you as a joke.

GRUNDY: Well, if so many people got this email, why are they still alive? X-5, name a random person who got Fhqwhgads email.

X-5: Gunhaver. Still alive.

GRUNDY: See?

CHORCH: Oh. Well, so what should we do?

GRUNDY: Lets eat nachos again!!

JARO: Fine. {The trio walk off. Cut to a living room where the trio are eating nachos.}

JARO: So Fhqwhgads, you're not gonna attack us cause-

{A My Benji quickly runs in, interrupting Jaro.}

MY BENJI: Jaro, Chorch, Grundy! A-

JARO: Silence, worthless yolk! I'm busy insulting someone!

MY BENJI: But-

JARO: LEAVE!!!!! {The My Benji saddly bounces off.} Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Fhqwhgads, you're not gonna attack us, cause you suck.

{Long pause. Suddenly, there is a big explosion, creating a hole in the wall.}

JARO: Ahhhh! {Lands, along with Chorch and Grundy.} What the crap?!

GRUNDY: What was that?!

{The dust clears to reveal a yellow, giant, japanese dragon.}

JARO: Who the crap are you?!

DRAGON:{Talks like Evil from Bonus Stage.} I am Fhqwhgads. I'm here to destroy you.

JARO: Great. We should have listened.

FHQWHGADS: Yeah you should have. But you didn't cause you suck.

GRUNDY: But why Fhqwhgads? Why do you want to kill us?

FHQWHGADS: It started in 2001.. {Fade out.}

{Fade in to a freeze frame of Strong Bad in "I love you".}

FHQWHGADS: {Voiceover.} I emailed Strong Bad, exposing my affection for him. {Screen cuts to a freeze frame shot from "Everybody to the Limit".} He thought my name was catchy. We went and got funds for our first music video, "Everybody to the Limit". First day on the set, the Director said "To ugly". I was put in like, 4 scenes. And when you think it can't get worse, all royalties went to Strong Bad. {Screen fades to darkness.} I disappeared, plotting my revenge.

{Cut back to the trio and Fhqwhgads.}

JARO: But that doesn't explain why you hate us.

FHQWHGADS: Quiet! I'm getting there!!

{Fade to a darkened room, where Fhqwhgads {20X6 form.} is doing something.}

FHQWHGADS: {Voiceover.} I trained in the fields of karate and stuff. I learned I could shoot fire balls. I knew I was ready to defeat Strong Bad, and take over the world.

JARO: {Voiceover.} Why did you want to take over the world?

FHQWHGADS: {Voiceover.} All good villians do that. Anyhoo, I browsed down my list of things that could stand in my way of achiving my goal. To lull the people into a false sense of security, I invented a new coding method, and I sent my "I love u" email to all people on my list.

{Cut back to the trio and Fhqwhgads.}

FHQWHGADS: That is why I am here.

JARO: Okay, did I miss something?

FHQWHGADS: Huh?

JARO: Well, for one thing, where did you get your computer if you were never seen? Why is still Gunhaver alive? And how did you're method of coding spread?

{Silence.}

FHQWHGADS: Uh...prepair to die!!

GRUNDY: I'm allways ready for that..oh wait, its pie that I'm ready for. And pie is a good food. {Pan over to see an annoyed Fhqwhgads.} So is breakfast cereal. And why do they call it breakfast? You don't break anything, and you don't do it fast.

FHQWHGADS: SHUT UP!!!!!!!! Geeze...

JARO: Are we gonna fight yet?

FHQWHGADS: Sure. {Shoots several fire balls at Jaro, which he barely misses.}

JARO: Woah! Minions, attack!!

{My Benjis start bouncing to Fhqwhgads, but she swats them away.}

FHQWHGADS: You think you can stop me with egg yolks? You're pathetic!!

GRUNDY: We may be pathetic, but we're also weak!

FHQWHGADS: Uh...right. Well, listen, you go no where to run, no where to hide, so, I'm gonna have to kill you.

JARO: X-5, transport us to any where but here!!

X-5: Transporting....

{In a flash, the trio are gone, but the X-5 remains. Cut to a wasteland. There are many run down buildings and fires, but the area is vaccant. The trio appear in a flash.}

JARO: Where are we?

CHORCH: Destination: 40X6.

JARO: 2000 years in the future?!

CHORCH: You said "anywhere but here".

JARO: This is great. Now whos gonna stop Fhqwhgads?

{Suddenly, sirens blare. A truck pulls up, and several robots come out holding guns.}

ROBOT: You are under arrest for speaking our great masters name. You are sentenced to deactivation and death.

JARO: B-But, our Master is allknowing Sticklyman!

{The robots look at each other for a second, and then laugh a robotic laugh.}

ANOTHER ROBOT: Ha! Sticklyman has been dead for over 2000 years!

JARO: What!? What happened to him?

ROBOT: Our great master destroyed him, for he was weak, and our master is strong.

CHORCH: B-But...no! This isn't right!

ANOTHER ROBOT: We will just have to destroy you here. And that is why-y-y-y....tttttt!!

{Suddenly, all the robot cops deactivate and fall over, revealing a shadowy figure with a gun.}

JARO: W-Who are you?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Who am I? You should know...{Steps out of the shadows revealing Jaro. He has a cracked visor and heavy rust, but other than that, he looks the same.}

20X6 JARO: You're..you're me?

40X6 JARO: Yes.

20X6 JARO: But..how?

40X6 JARO: I was captured by the guards after X-5 transported us here. I convinced the cop robot to lift my punishment to life in a dungeon.

GRUNDY: Then what?

40X6 JARO: Well, in 5005, the world is still under Fhqwhgads rule, and I was still a prisoner. There was a small glitch, and the dungeon door opened. I bounced out as fast as I could, to go anywhere but there. On the way, I found two things: This gun, which can stun, freeze, and multi-time teleport, and Fhqwhgads weakness. Here. {He hands Jaro some broken jewel shards.}

20X6 JARO: This is her weakness?

40X6 JARO: Yes. Now go back, defeat Fhqwhgads, and save the world from dictatorship. {Gets his gun and shoots the trio, and they dissapear.}

{Cut back to 20X6. Fhqwhgads is still in Jaros house. The trio appear.}

FHQWHGADS: So, you came back. You do know I'm gonna destroy you, right?

JARO: Maybe, but still, I've learned that with time, patience, goals, and love, friendship conquers all. It plows through evil like some kind of evil-plow, creating joy, and peace in the world.

FHQWHGADS: Where did you, learn that?

JARO: That Bonus Stage episode.

FHQWHGADS: Well, I'm still gonna kill you.

JARO: Oh.

{Fhqwhgads shoots a fire ball at Grundy, knocking him out.}

GRUNDY: Oof!

JARO: Grundy! No!

{Fhqwhgads hits Chorch with her tale, knocking him offscreen.}

JARO: Not you too!

FHQWHGADS: Well, time to die.

JARO: No! I only have one chance!! {Throws the shards 40X6 Jaro gave him at Fhqwhgads.}

FHQWHGADS: Ha!! You may have my weakness, but you don't know how to use it!

{Shows the shards still flying. Suddenly, a hole in the roof lets sunshine pour through and it shines on the shards. They glow red and shoot a beam of light at Fhqwhgads, making her smoke and sizzle.}

FHQWHGADS: What?! NO! Ahh!!! {Energy beam grows stronger. Fhqwhgads turns to a pile of ash.}

JARO:...oh.

{He looks around at the ruble which was once his house.}

JARO: Guys, wake up!! {Grundy and Chorch come to.}

CHORCH: W-What happened?

JARO: I beat Fhqwhgads!

GRUNDY: Where is she?

JARO: She's that pile of ash.

{Cut to the same scene, only from a diffrent angle. The Poopsmith is now here.}

JARO: So it's agreed.

GRUNDY: What?

JARO: You know.

GRUNDY: What? The Poopsmith came in, and you just said "So it's agreed".

JARO: Oh, well, we can't live here any more, so to decide where to live, {Pulls out a picture of earth, and a spinner with an arrow.} we're gonna spin this arrow, and wherever it lands, we'll live there.

{Chorch spins it. It goes around and around and the arrow starts pointing upwards. When it stops, the arrow is pointing up to the sky.}

CHORCH: Oops. I spun it too hard.

JARO: Wait! This gives me an idea!

{Cut to the trio, The Poopsmith, and a box labled "My Benji" in a lit cannon.}

GRUNDY: We could have taken a teleporter!

JARO: But this way is more fun!

{The fuse disappears and the trio are launched into space. They get closer and closer to some floating ground, untill they land at "Liekands Used Space Stations".}

LIEKAND: Well well well, looks like you guys need a space ship.

JARO: I thought you sold-

THE POOPSMITH: Ahhh! Get him away from me!!

{The Poopsmith runs off, and Jaro follows.}

JARO: Whats wrong?!

THE POOPSMITH: I'm sorry. I just have a fear of tornados, ever since that day..

{Fades into The Poopsmith in a dress, and The Cheat, in a black and white house. Looks like a twister is raging outside. Then it stops. The Poopsmith looks outside, to see a colorfull world. Tiny people walk up.}

MUNCHKINS: {Squeaky voice.} You have freed us fr-

THE POOPSMITH: AHHH!! {Starts hitting the little guy with his shovel, but the munchkin grows fangs and floats into the air.}

MUNCHKIN: You can not kill us! We have no souls!

{Cut back to The Poopsmith and Jaro.}

JARO: Okay, you stay here, and I'll get something.

{Bounces back to the rest of the trio.}

JARO: Okay, so I'll give you a deal. {Takes out a piece of paper.} I'll give you the deed to my house, if you give us a space ship.

LIEKAND: Wow! A deed! Okay, yougotadeal!!

{Cut to the trio inside the Z-ship. The Poopsmith is trembling.}

THE POOPSMITH: That monsters gonna give me nightmares.

JARO: Okay, so untill next time...don't kill us.

{The words "Click here to email Jaro" appear over his head.}


EASTER EGGS

  • Click on Jaro to see Liekand again.

{Liekand is digging something out of the rubble of Jaros apartment.}

LIEKAND: Burried treasure!! Wow! I can't belive they sold this house!

FUN FACTS

  • "That monsters gonna give me nightmares." is a refferance to "Mr. Shmallow".
  • The Poopsmiths flashback is a referance to "The Wizard of Oz".
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