Other Character Email Tampo/deleted scenes/lazor beams

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< Other Character Email Tampo | deleted scenes

1 First Idea
- 1.1 First Idea Transcript
2 Second Idea
- 2.1 Second Idea Transcript
3 Brody's Punishment
- 3.1 Brody's Punishment Transcript
4 Accident
- 4.1 Accident Transcript
5 Test Drive
- 5.1 Test Drive Transcript
6 Alternate Fight Scene
- 6.1 Alternate Fight Scene Transcript
7 Merged
- 7.1 Merged Transcript
8 Quick Links

First Idea

The first idea for this email was much different than what it is now (and much worse). The whole outline is rather sketchy and is described in the transcript. After concentrated this idea for a while, Joshua dumped it and moved on to the second one.

First Idea Transcript

{Details uncertain. Tampo would get the email and says he doesn't have any laser beams, but that he does have a bunch of laserballs of all different kinds, including tropical. He only keeps a few inside himself at a time, and keeps most of his in a special room made just for them. He'll then take you to that room and shows the viewers all this different laserballs, which all have different personalities.}

Second Idea

The next idea for this email was to be used as the crappy email for the email "conquest." But when the story of email "construction" was too big to be used in one email, the lazor beam email fit perfectly in the plot, and the crappy email was changed.

Second Idea Transcript

{Simply replace the beginning of the "conquest" email with the beginning of this email (right before they leave the Plasma in both emails).}

Brody's Punishment

Joshua had written down this part at the beginning on the email, but it was deleted before he pressed "Submit." He took it out because not only did it make little sense and wasn't funny, but it also made it take longer to reach the meat of the email, and it lengthened an already huge email. Although the original form was lost, it went a-little something a-like this.

Brody's Punishment Transcript

...{Tampo shoots his classic quadruple laserball attack to the left, hitting the unsuspecting Brody on the leg. Brody screams in pain and his leg recoils and moves offscreen. Crashes are heard as Brody jumps on one leg, screaming.}

TAMPO: {calling} Consider that your punishment for making fun of me in email #1!

{The crashes cease as Brody calms down. He is still not visible.}

BRODY: Oooh... That's enough of this! I'm going to my room.

{After a brief pause, a door is heard opening and closing.}

TAMPO: He hasn't been punished in a while. He needed a little reminder. Anyway, where was I? Ah yes...

Accident

This was an idea for what would happen when Tampo shot his quadruple laserballl attack after the whole punishment idea was dropped. It wasn't ever typed in because the email was already very long and Joshua decided something simpler would be better. It would have gone like this.

Accident Transcript

...{Tampo shoots out his classic quadruple-laser ball attack to the right. After a bit, an explosion is heard.}

JARO: {offscreen, from explosion} Ouch! I- {shattering noises are heard}

DIFFERENT JARO: {offscreen, pained yell} No! My brother!!!

TAMPO: Oops. Sorry about that. Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes...

Test Drive

Originally, Tampo would have gone inside the robot right after the legs, arms, eyes and ears were added. This was omitted because it did nothing but slow down and lengthen the email.

Test Drive Transcript

...TAMPO: Okay... remind me to give him a raise if he ever gets pieced back together.

GREGGO: Wanna test it out right now?

TAMPO: Sure.

{The door in the roof of the robot opens up and Tampo shrinks and goes in. The door closes behind him. Tampo walks around a bit, but then stops.}

TAMPO: {shouting from inside} How do I activate the weapon system?

GREGGO: Weapon system?

TAMPO: {shouting from inside} Weapon system. You know, to have fightings with?

GREGGO: {mumbling} Um... we haven't started...

TAMPO: {shouting fron inside} I don't believe this! So you haven't thought of that, huh? Everyone, start working on an advanced weapons system right now, okay? I want to defeat Stinkoman in this thing, you know? Now get me out of here!

{The door to the roof is opened and Tampo comes out and grows back to his normal size. The door closes as he begins floating away angry. Then he stops and turns around, remembering something.}...

Alternate Fight Scene

This is an idea that was juggled around for the fight scene, but Joshua later decided to use the current one instead. The main reason Joshua didn't use it was because it didn't allow Tampo to rust in a victory dance. It also didn't let Homestar Runner fully sing his song, which is another con.

Alternate Fight Scene Transcript

...TAMPO: Tropical Lazor Beams, activate!

{Suddenly the screen changes to puppet Homestar Runner in a room with They Might Be Giants in the background. All outside sounds are replaced with Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: One, two, three and four...

TAMPO: What the... crap?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing}

Aaaaaah,
Tropical lazor beams...

{Cut to outside Tampo's robot body. Stinkoman gets up.

STINKOMAN: {shouting} Double duece!!!

{Stinkoman charges and hits Tampo hard, knocking him over.

STINKOMAN: And another victory for Stinkoman!

{Cut back to inside Tampo's robot body. Homestar is still singing, but he is get fuzzy occasionally, damaged from the blow.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: singing}

...Lazor beams of pzzt,
Tropical lim pzzt eans.

TAMPO: No! Make it stop!

{For a brief second, words appear over Homestar and a buzzer sound is heard.}

Funtion damaged.
Command aborted.

TAMPO: {shouting} No!!!

{Cut to outside Tampo's body. Stinkoman is in a victory pose and it is still storming. Suddenly Tampo jumps up and starts flailing about madly, spinning, screaming and shooting weapons in all directions. Stinkoman faces Tampo just as all the automatic homing attacks charge at him. Stinkoman is hit and falls to the ground unconscious.}

{Cut back to inside Tampo's robot body. Tampo is still screaming and Homestar is still singing when suddenly the screen clicks off.}

TAMPO: Whew. I'm glad that's over. That was horrible! Alright, Stinkoman, I'm gonna... kill... you?

{Cut to outside Tampo's body. Tampo finds himself unable to move. Suddenly rust starts forming all over from the heavy rain. Tampo is now a frozen, rusty robot.}

TAMPO: TAMPO: Rust?!? This couldn't get any...

Merged

This email was originally going to be the ending of the previous email "construction," minus the whole lazor beam part. More info here.

Merged Transcript

{None needed.}

Quick Links

Return to deleted scenes selection screen.