Other Character Email Tampo/training

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Tampo Email #17: "training"

Summary: 1-Up continues his training to become a member of Tampo's forces. Will he qualify? (read "dark side" first)

Cast (in order of appearance): 1-Up, Holo-Stinkoman, Brody, Tampo, Zyves, Stlunko, Stinkoman (Easter Egg), A Jaro (Easter Egg)

Places: Holo-Field, Virtual Chamber, Computer Room, Main Chamber, Lunar Kitchen, A Field (Easter Egg)

Length: 123 Lines

Date: May 23rd, 2005

Transcript

{1-Up is in a field. Stinkoman is nearby, holding some pudding.}

1-UP: Hey, Stinkoman! You have pudding! Can I have some?

STINKOMAN: No way! This is my pudding! You are too dumb to have my pudding!

1-UP: No, I'm not! I wanna be the guy! Can I have your pudding please?

STINKOMAN: {laughing} Ha ha ha! You're so dumb! Ha ha ha! Dumb. This is your pudding. I stole it from you because I'm a big jerk and you are stupid!!!

1-UP: You stole my pudding! I'll get you for this! And my pudding! {jumps at Stinkoman}

STINKOMAN: {laughing} Ha ha ha! You're so- Oof! {Stinkoman is hit by 1-Up's foot}

{Stinkoman flies back, dropping 1-Up's pudding. 1-Up's pudding flies up a bit and then starts to fall, but stops suddenly as it is grabbed by 1-Up.}

1-UP: Yay! I got my pudding back from that mean Stinkoman! {brings pudding towards mouth, about to eat}

BRODY: {offscreen, shouting} Stop!

{Suddenly the scene becomes the Virtual Chamber. It is a big, mechanic room with several television screens, each showing what just happened with 1-Up and Holo-Stinkoman from several different angles. Brody is facing 1-Up, who is floating with a virtual headset and virtual boots on, being held by wires. 1-Up's headset's visor becomes transparent so 1-Up's eyes are visible through it.}

1-UP: My pudding! It's gone!!!

BRODY: That was great, 1-Up. Good job.

1-UP: Do I get a treat?

BRODY: Not yet. I'm going to turn the difficulty up a notch. I'm going to make Stinkoman be nice to you. Remember, if you want a treat, you'll have to beat up Stinkoman, no matter what he says.

1-UP: That'll be easy! Put me back in!

BRODY: Okay. {pushing a button with his wing}

{The visor becomes opaque again and all the TVs flash and then show 1-Up and Stinkoman standing in a field again.}

{Cut to 1-Up's virtual world.}

HOLO-STINKOMAN: Hey, 1-Up! I'm going to teach you to be the guy! So you can be the guy, too!

1-UP: Awesome! I've always wanted to be the- wait! I'm going to kill you Stinkoman! Brody said so.

HOLO-STINKOMAN: What? Are you asking for a challllleeenge?

1-UP: Yeah! Sure!

HOLO-STINKOMAN: But I got you pudding! {produces a bowlful of pudding}

1-UP: For me?

HOLO-STINKOMAN: Yes, because you are sooooo awesome! You can be the guy, too!

1-UP: Wow! {runs up to Holo-Stinkoman and grabs pudding} You are awesome Stinkoman! I promise never to betray-

BRODY: {offscreen, shouting} Stop!

{Suddenly the scene becomes the Virtual Chamber again, with Brody in the same position as before. 1-Up's headset's visor becomes transparent so 1-Up's eyes are visible through it.}

1-UP: Wah! My pudding's gone again!

BRODY: That was horrible, 1-Up. No treat for you. I guess you aren't ready for this. I'll let Tampo let you do something easier.

1-UP: Yay!

{Screen fades to black, and then fades to the computer room. Tampo floats onscreen, closely followed by 1-Up.}

TAMPO: Okay, 1-Up, if you didn't know, I like to answer emails. If you're going to be a sidekick, you'll have to get used to it. So... do you have any experience with answering emails?

1-UP: Yep! In fact, I own my very own email show which has a kajillion emails answered with is much more than your email show! I'm even continuing my email show while locked in your jail because I snuck in my Tandy 2000 which I use to answer emails and I even sneak out of the jail to make my emails better! Oh, and I got the Tandy 2000 from the future where you are the evil ruler of the world!!!

TAMPO: {staring in disbelief} What?!

1-UP: Wait, did I just say that? Oops, my tongue slipped. I meant to say... um... I like pudding!

TAMPO: ...right. Okay, um... let's see how good you do. I'll let you answer one of my emails.

1-UP: Alright! {singing} Email rap! Email rap! Check out me and my email rap!

{An email opens, triggered by Tampo.}

To Tampo...

I was wondering - what will happen when you
grow old? Will you turn grey and shrink? Or
will you merely explode somehow?

From that guy in the sewer,
Super Sam

1-UP: {reading} To Tampo... {talking} Hey, Tampo look! It's an email for you!

TAMPO: {annoyed} Yes.

1-UP: Okay... {finishes reading email, following dialogue is written in a word document} Well Super Sam, when Tampo grows old I don't think he'll turn gray and shrink or explode. That would just be eww. No, when Tampo gets old he'll get all gross and wrinkly, and all his hair will fall out leaving him disgustly bald.

TAMPO: {not typed in, angry} What do you mean? I'm already bald! Even you're bald!

1-UP: {typed in} Oh, and he'll be really grumpy, like, all the time. Thanks for your concern, 1-Up. {not typed in} Send!

{A message is displayed onscreen reading "Email sent."

TAMPO: {angry} Why, you-

1-UP: {happily} That was fun! Can I do another?

TAMPO: {angry} NO!!!

{1-Up blinks, confused. The screen fades to black. It fades back to the main room, where Zyves is holding a small, modified F.O.R.C.E. up to 1-Up.}

ZYVES: C'mon 1-Up. You need to eat this. Your first one will wear off any minute now.

1-UP: But it tastes horrible! Not like pudding.

ZYVES: Oh, but this one is pudding.

1-UP: Pudding! {quickly "grabs" the modified F.O.R.C.E. and eats it, is disgusted} That wasn't pudding!

ZYVES: You are so gullible.

1-UP: {crying} Wah!

{Fades to black and then to the main room again. Now Tampo, Brody and Zyves are standing there.}

BRODY: 1-Up still cannot be trusted around Stinkoman.

TAMPO: And he definitely can't help answer emails yet.

ZYVES: And I believe he'll betray us for pudding just as fast as he betrayed Stinkoman.

{Stlunko enters from a corridor.}

TAMPO: Hey, Stlunko. How'd the interrogation go?

STLUNKO: It did not go well. 1-Up insisted that the teleporter devise was hidden in his underwear, hands and other places that he does not have.

BRODY: Do you think he's tricking you on purpose or is he's just plain dumb?

STLUNKO: I think it is stupidity, but I am not sure.

TAMPO: So... where is he now?

STLUNKO: He is following me. I am taking him back to his holding cell.

ZYVES: {looks behind Stlunko} Um... no he's not.

STLUNKO: What do you mean? {turns around} He must have escaped while I was distracted by talking to you three.

TAMPO: {sarcastic} This is just great. {normal} Can you locate him?

STLUNKO: Scanning... {pauses, then beeps} 1-Up found. He is in our kitchen.

BRODY: Our kitchen? Oh, no!

TAMPO: We gotta get him, and fast!

{The four hurriedly leave the main chamber.}

{Cut to the kitchen. 1-Up is lying down in the middle of the table, with pudding stains on him and around him. He is fatter than usual. The giant pile of pudding is gone.}

1-UP: {burps, relaxed voice} Aaaaaah...

{Tampo, Brody, Stlunko and Zyves enter.}

BRODY: Oh, no. We're too late.

TAMPO: You ate all that pudding?

ZYVES: There was like, two tons of the stuff.

1-UP: {satisfied} I know. It was delicious.

STLUNKO: I am confused. It was scientificly impossible for you to eat all that pudding at one time.

1-UP: I don't care.

TAMPO: Ugh, you ate all of our pudding! Now what are you going to do?

1-UP: You don't have any more pudding, do you?

BRODY: {annoyed} No.

1-UP: Fine. I'm full anyway. {burps} I don't want to be your friends anymore. I got my pudding.

TAMPO: What? You just-

ZYVES: I don't believe this!

TAMPO: Stlunko, take this lowlife back to his jailcell and eliminate his food and water rations. I don't want him to eat ever again!

STLUNKO: Consider it done.

{Stlunko grabs 1-Up with a hand. 1-Up puts up no resistance, but whines as he is taken out of the room.}

1-UP: But... I need my food!

TAMPO: {after 1-Up and Stlunko are gone} Well, that was a big waste of our time and effort.

BRODY: I know. But he's smarter than we thought.

TAMPO: I guess.

ZYVES: So are you really going to starve him to death?

TAMPO: I dunno... maybe.

{Screen fades back to the SuperCom. The "Click here to email Tampo." popup is onscreen.}

Easter Eggs

Click on the red X in the corner of the "Email Tampo" pop-up to see what Stinkoman is doing at the time.

{Stinkoman is in a field, next to a Jaro.}

STINKOMAN: Hey, robot-man! Haaaaaaave you seen my favorite power crunch?

JARO: I don't know about any power crunch. I'm just trying to find my master Tampo. Have you seen him?

STINKOMAN: Why would you want Tampo? Are you some sort of challenge robot?

JARO: No, Tampo's my master. I had gone to get some supplies and when I came back the warehouse was destroyed and everyone was missing.

STINKOMAN: You are a challenge robot! I will challenge you for my power crunch! {powers up} DOUBLE DEUCE!!!

JARO: What? No! Wait!

{Stinkoman attacks the Jaro, hits and the two fly out of the camera's view. A crash is heard. Then Stinkoman walks by with the Jaro's top stuck inside Stinkoman's thong. Stinkoman is carrying it around in similar fashion to Stlunko's fist in the Stinkoman game.}

STINKOMAN: This could be my new power-up!

Fun Facts

This is the direct sequel of the previous email "dark side." It is highly recommended that you read that one first.
- The giant blob of pudding 1-Up eats is from "dark side."
- 1-Up first had to eat a modified F.O.R.C.E. in "dark side," where its purpose is explained.
- The easter egg is also going to be relevent to the storyline in a following email, just like the one in "dark side."
1-Up's accidental rant to Tampo contains information directly relevant to Mitchell00's 1-Up Emails, especially Email #32.
1-Up saying the teleporter is hidden in his underwear is a reference to the email "attacked," where he does the same thing.
The Jaro in the easter egg is referencing the events that occured in the email "future."
Stinkoman last line in the easter egg, as well as his behavior with the dead Jaro, are references to Level 3 of the game Stinkoman 20X6.

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