Other Character Email Tampo/bomb squad
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Tampo Email #40: "bomb squad"
Summary: A time bomb threatens the Lava Zone and it's up to you to guide the boss trio through this catastrophe.
Cast (in order of appearance): Zyves, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Saargtsson, Firey-Hot, Poorbts, Various Other Characters (in dead-ends)
Places: Caved-In Passageway, Private Chamber, Saargtsson's Chamber, Minion Bridge, Various Lava Zone Tunnels, Various Other Locations (in dead-ends)
Length: 735 Lines (Dead-ends and duplicate text included, Easter eggs and non-transcripted segments excluded.)
Date: January 21, 2006
Transcript
{Cut to Zyves in some empty passageway in the lava zone. Behind him appears to be a cave-in facing the camera. Next to him is what appears to be some sort of time bomb, ticking away.}
ZYVES: Hello, viewers. There's a sort of problem going on right now... {points to bomb} ...and I'm kind of stuck. I was exploring here in these outdated tunnels when I was trapped by a cave in. To make matters worse, I found this time bomb that'll explode in a few minutes, destroying the entire Lava Zone.
{Zyves pushes a button on his cybernetic wing, bringing up a small computer interface system.}
ZYVES: Saargtsson's computer is having repairs done right now, so I'll have to alert Tampo, Brody and Stlunko. I need their help if I'm to stop this bomb.
{He starts to type stuff into the small keyboard.}
ZYVES: And you'll have to help them find me and save us all. Whenever the scene pauses and three or so choices appear, choose that one that you think will help them rescue me. And please aid them in any other problems they have. And try not to use the "Back" button unless you're given permission to or have already won, okay? That's cheating... yes, cheating. Which is bad. So anyway, good luck winning and all. And please... don't fail.
{He pushes the send button his wing and the scene cuts to the boss trio at the SaargtScreen.}
TAMPO: Alright guys, it's email time! {email rap} Once a brain had an email and Email was its name-o. E-M-A-I—
SAARGTSSON: {yelling from offscreen} Tampo! Brody! Ssstlunko! Report here thissssss inssstant!
TAMPO: Ugh...
a> "We're coming, Saargtsson!"
b> "Wait a sec, Saargtsson! I'm busy at the moment!
c> "...L! E-M-A-I-L! E-M-A-I-L... and Email was its name-ooo..."
Too Hard?
Don't deny it - this text adventure is hard. If you can't beat it no matter how hard you try, or have already beat it and just want to go through it again without having to figure out everything, here is a boring ol' transcript version for you. Be careful though: reading it without beating the game first is considered cheating, unless you have absolutely no intention of ever beating the original version.
Winner Circle
Click here to be taken straight to the winner circle. Don't worry, viewing it prematurely doesn't count as cheating. Just don't sign your name until you truly win.
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