Other Character Email Tampo/new stuff
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Tampo Email #13: "new stuff"
Summary: Brody gets a bunch of new stuff: A new building, a new computer, and even a new sidekick!
Cast (in order of appearance): Brody, Business Robot, Messenger Robot, Jaros, Greggos, Chorches, Terrells, Grundies, Stobats, Zyves, Tampo (Easter Egg), Stlunko (Easter Egg)
Places: Flarg City, Flarg Realtors, Flarg Arcade and Café (outside), Lunar Warehouse (outside), Experiment Chamber, Computer Room, Lunar Kitchen, Stinkoman's House (outside), Stinkoman's Kitchen
Length: 142 Lines
Date: May 7th, 2005
Contents |
Transcript
{The scene is of the center of Flarg City. It is zooming into a large building. A sign on it reads "Flarg Realtors." The camera zooms into a window, then inside. Brody's legs are visible in front of an empty desk. Suddenly the camera pans up to Brody's head, where he is talking to a floating business robot.}
BRODY: Okay, so what's your best warehouse?
BUSINESS ROBOT: I'm telling you, this is a really crowded city! We don't have any available. You'll have to move into a condominium of sorts.
BRODY: I'm a multimillionaire! Isn't there someplace I can buy?
BUSINESS ROBOT: Hey, I'd love to help you, but you'll have to bargain with the owners themselves, not me. I sold the last open warehouse about three days ago.
BRODY: Ugh.
{Another robot flies by.}
MESSENGER ROBOT: Guess what happened, boss? Mr. Boltby wants to move out of his very big, powerful, heavily equipped, {Brody's eyes grow wide} celestial, but extreme expensive robot palace on the moon to go live near his family. So he's paying us to help him find a buyer.
BUSINESS ROBOT: Okay...
{Cut to the outside of another building. This one has a big, neon sign up front, which reads:}
FLARG ARCADE AND CAFÉ The Best Games and Oil in Town!
{Lots of noises are coming from inside, but you can't see through the windows. Suddenly Brody walks up and sticks his head down low.}
BRODY: {calling} Hey, guys! It's time to get out of there!
{After a few moments, a bunch of robots and chickens leave the building. Many of them are happy and excited.}
BRODY: Okay, guys, I got us this great place on the moon.
{Mumbles are heard from the crowd. "Moon?" is easily heard several times.}
BRODY: So who wants to check it out?
{More mumbles from the crowd, many of them estatic.}
BRODY: Let's go to the public teleport!
{Brody starts walking away. Suddenly the camera zooms way out, showing the whole city, and then the whole Planet K. Then the camera turns and faces the moon. Then it zooms close to the moon, showing a large metalic structure with a bunch of domes everywhere, filling a large meteor impact crater. Then the it cuts to somewhere inside the Lunar Warehouse, where it is empty with lots a machines in the wall beeping in the background. Suddenly there is a flash and Brody and all the little Jaros, Greggos, Grundies and such and in the middle of the room.}
BRODY: Okay, guys. Here we are. Explore!
{The crowd scatters in all directions.}
BRODY: Alright... I guess I better go tell Tampo and Stlunko the news. To the computer room!
{Broder walks away.}
{Cut to the new computer room. The back wall is one huge computer, but it is turned off and the screen is black. There are several beeping parts, and theres a circular window to the side with the moon's surface outside. Brody walks in.}
BRODY: Woah. I found it alright. Let's see here...
{Brody walks to the computer and the camera zooms in.}
BRODY: Okay, how do you turn this thing on?
{Suddenly the computer flashes on. In three seconds, some words appear onscreen.}
Good morning, user.
Scanning...
NEW USER
Activating introduction program.
{Suddenly a robot face appears onscreen.}
BRODY: Huh?
SUPERCOM: Hello new user. I am the SuperComputer Version 6.3, SuperCom for short. I have the most advanced processors and features. What would you like to know about?
BRODY: I'd like to learn about... {mumbling, looking down} um, where's the mouse and keyboard?
SUPERCOM: I use the most advanced voice recognising technology. You can control me by speech. But for simple commands like opening and closing files, you can even control me by thought.
BRODY: Thought?!
SUPERCOM: I have telepathic technology. It's the future today! InstaNet activated.
{The screen changes to the regular desktop screen, with an InstaNet pop-up.}
BRODY: This... is awesome. Umm... okay. Record. Hello Stlunko and Tampo. I got us this awesome spot on the moon. It's called... um, I forget. I begins with an L, you should be able to find it. Go the the main teleport station to get here. They'll let you in. Stop record. Send by radio frequency to Stlunko.
{The Supercom beeps.}
BRODY: Okay, um... I wonder how's our inbox doing. Robotmail.com.
{Robotmail.com appears on the InstaNet pop-up.}
BRODY: Username: Tampo368. Password: {mumbles inaudibly}
{An several pop-up appears with Tampo's email client on it. A list of emails are shown.}
]Join Forces
]NEW Program!
]Stinko Man K
]Trogador
]Saargtsson
]Hey Brody!
]Stinkoman
]Stlunko=Stinko
BRODY: Hmm... pretty full. Hey, what's that? An email for me? Open it!
{With a beeping noise, the Hey Brody email opens. Brody reads it.}
Dear Brody
Yo! I'm a bird, too! Do you
consider joining forces? If
so, go to the Disposal. It
looks like a disposal, but
so you can find it it will
have a feather with a
message on it.
Hoping to join forces,
Zyves, the cyber-duck
BRODY: Cool, a sidekick or something! Okay, the "Disposal." Where's the Disposal? Um...
{Cut to the Lunar Kitchen. Brody walks by, revealing exactly how big the kitchen is: huge. Everything is extrabig, making Brody look as tall as a normal person. Brody walks up the sink and looks at the disposal.}
BRODY: Hm... nothing here. So... in what disposal would that cyber duck hide? Aha! That's it! So... where's the teleporter?
{Brody walks off}
{Cut to the experiment chamber. There are lots of buttons, screens and lights. Brody walks in.}
BRODY: Now, which of these is the teleporter? Hmm... {looks around} I wish they had labels. {goes to a big, green button.} This one looks promising.
{Brody presses the button and starts to shrink.}
BRODY: Gah!
{Brody quickly presses the button again, and he stops shrinking. But he's already about a third of his original size.}
BRODY: Great. Okay... well, I guess it will be easier seeing a feather in a regular-sized disposal like this. So... ah! There it is! {moves toward the camera}
{Camera switches views to show the keyboard and screen of the machine Brody's about to use. It looks similar to the one used on their old time machine, except it is molded into the wall. Brody uses his beak to slowly type a destination and then pushes a big, red button next to it. With a flash, Brody is gone.}
{The camera zooms out to show the outside of the Lunar Warehouse, then the whole moon. Then it pans to show Planet K. Then it zooms to the outside of Stinkoman's house.}
{Cut to the inside of Stinkoman's really huge kitchen. With a flash, shrunken Brody appears.}
BRODY: Here I am. Now to find the disposal. And I better not alert Stinkoman. Oh, there's Stinkoman's sink, right there!
{Brody walks up to the sink and the camera follows.}
BRODY: Yes, I was right! Here's the feather.
{The camera moves to a overhead view. A feather is visible with the sink with a word scribled on: "Hello."}
BRODY: Alright, now what?
{Suddenly Zyves the cyber-duck's head pops out of the sink drain.}
ZYVES: Brody, is that you?
BRODY: Zyves?
{Zyves pops out of the disposal. He is slightly larger than your regular duck, and he has mechanical parts, including a laser visor.}
ZYVES: Hmm... you seem smaller than I imagined.
BRODY: Oh, I got shrunken. I'm usually much bigger than this.
ZYVES: Oh. Okay.
BRODY: So, why do you want to join forces with me, Tampo and Stlunko?
ZYVES: Oh, that. Well, I hate Stinkoman as much as you do, but I've haven't exactly been able to beat him. But I figured if we teamed up...
BRODY: ...we could defeat him with our combined strength. I get it. So, what can you do, exactly?
ZYVES: Fly, shoot missles, guns, lasers, a splode and then reform, the works. I'm mostly mechanical.
BRODY: Cool. So...
STINKOMAN: {offscreen} Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking for a challenge?!
{Camera pans out to reveal Stinoman}
ZYVES: Not now.
BRODY: So... do we fight him?
ZYVES: I have a better idea.
{Suddenly Zyves starts to glow, and the glow encompasses both him and Brody. When the glow fades, Zyves and Brody are gone.}
STINKOMAN: {upset} No one's asking for a challenge.
{Zooms out to show Stinkoman's House, then to the whole of Planet K. Then the camera pans to the moon, and it zooms up to the Lunar Warehouse.}
{Cut to the computer room inside. There's a flash, and then Brody and Zyves are inside.}
BRODY: You can teleport?!
ZYVES: Actually, I was just holding a miniature single-use teleporter just in case that happened.
BRODY: Okay.
TAMPO: {in distance, calling} Brody! We're here! Where are you?
BRODY: Come on, Zyves. Let me introduce you to my friends.
{Brody and Zyves walk off. The camera zooms in to the SuperCom. A pop-up appears that reads "Click here to email Tampo."}
Easter Eggs
- Clicking on different parts of Tampo's inbox will show a ripped-out page of the Stinkomanual.
- Clicking on Tampo (from the URL) will show the page of the Tampo boss fight.
- Clicking on Brody (from "Hey Brody!") will show the page of the Brody boss fight.
- Clicking on Stlunko (from "Stlunko=Stinko") will show the page of the Stlunko boss fight.
- Clicking on Saargtsson will show the page of the Saargtsson boss fight.
- Clicking on "Tampo" at the end shows Tampo's first impression of Zyves.
- {Tampo and Stlunko and standing in the experiement room, where they had just teleported into. Tampo is slightly blackened in some areas. Brody and Zyves walk in.}
- TAMPO: Hey, Brody! We're- {notices Zyves, yelling} What the crap is that thing?!
- {Zyves makes the anime annoyed expression: -_-;}
Fun Facts
- It is highly advisable to read the Tampo emails "future" and "girlfriend" to help understand what is happening.
- Zyves is the future version of Kyves, who is the user Ekul's sidekick. But the Zyves in this email is a different character, made by Joshua.
- Robotmail.com is a play on the site hotmail.com.
- Tampo368 is a reference to Joshua's email address, which is Joshua368.
- Tampo's inbox refers to his actual inbox at the time of this email's creation. Go here to see.
- Brody thinking of going to Stinkoman's disposal refers to how Stinkoman's kitchen had a major part of his life, revealed in the Tampo Email "relatives."
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