Other Character Email Tampo/construction
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Tampo Email #3: "construction"
Summary: Some stanger asks wry hasn't Tampo gotten a new body, and we get to meet Tampo's brilliant construction team.
Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Stinkoman, The Emperor, Imperial Guards, Pan Pan, Greggos, Jaros, Grundies, Overseer, Robot Tampo (Easter Egg)
Places: Computer Room, Emperor's Throneroom, Stinkoman's House, Engineering Lab, Robot City (Easter Egg)
Date: March 31, 2005
Length: 81 Lines
Contents |
Transcript
{Full screen view of Plasma 2000. All the characters are in their usual places.}
TAMPO: {singing} Email in the sky, how do you go up so high?
{When Tampo's song ends, Stlunko clicks on the mail icon and an email is displayed on a pop up. Tampo reads it as it is spellled.}
Dear Tampo
wry don`t you get a new body
BRODY: Man, who wrote this mess? Some eight-year-old boy or something?
TAMPO: Heh. {Stlunko starts typing} I don't know wry, stranger. Maybe because you can't just get a new body. Bodies are expensive to come by. I mean, I would get one if I could, but we're kind of saving up for a new place...
STLUNKO: So give us money. Now. We have answered emails, where is the money?
TAMPO: {not typed} Patience, Stlunko, patience. {typing resumes} I mean, if I could get a body, I wouldn't pick some stupid crap-for-brains ordinary person body. No, I would choose... {pauses to think} Stinkoman's body. Oh yeah, definitely Stinkoman. Oh, I can see it now...
{Screen fades to a dream sequence. Stinkoman is standing on a long red carpet in the Emperor's Throneroom. He is facing the throne, which holds the Emperor himself. His two guards are standing nearby.}
STINKOMAN: {in Tampo's voice, secretly addressing audience} Shh... it's me.
{The Emperor stands up off his throne. Tampo in Stinkoman's body kneels. The Emperor is holding a golden badge.}
THE EMPEROR: Stinkoman, for saving our planet, I gratefully offer you this badge.
{Stinkoman stands up.}
STINKOMAN: {in Stinkoman's voice} Thanks, but... {voice changes to Tampo's} I'd rather have your throne!
{The emperor drops the badge in surprise.}
STINKOMAN: {shouting in Tampo's voice} Double Deuce!
{Before anyone else can react, Stinkoman/Tampo and jumps, spreads out his charged thongs and hits both guards in the head with a glowing Double Duece attack, causing them to get knocked out.}
THE EMPEROR: Why, you're not... Unh!
{Stinkoman/Tampo had Double Deuced the Emperor square in the jaw, causing him to knock out. Then he grabs a fallen guard's laser gun and the Emperor's crown and sits triumpiantly on the throne.}
STINKOMAN: {shouting triumphantly in Tampo's voice} Yes! I rule Planet K!
{Screen fades back to the computer.}
TAMPO: {not typed} Oh, yeah. That would be awesome.
STLUNKO: What? What would be so awesome about being in Stinkoman's body?
BRODY: Yeah. And why were you staring at nothing like that?
TAMPO: Huh? Oh! D-don't worry about that. Anyways, getting Stinkoman's body would be nice, but come to think of it...
{Cut to another dream sequence. Stinkoman is standing in front of a table in his house, eating chicken soup by the spoonful.}
TAMPO: {narrating} ...being in Pan Pan's body wouldn't be so bad either!
{Pan Pan pops up from below the camera's view. As Stinkoman contiues to gobble down his meal, Pan Pan's expression suddenly turns angry. Suddenly an explosion appears on Stinkoman's back.}
STINKOMAN: {shouting} A CHALLE-!
{Stinkoman drops down, apparently dead. Pan Pan now has an evil smirk on his face, and his left paw, which was obstructed by Stinkoman earlier, is seen holding a smoking laser gun. Pan Pan evilly laughs with Tampo's voice. Screen fades back to the computer again.}
BRODY: Snap out of it, Tampo! Wake...
TAMPO: Now that would be even cooler. Stinkoman's easy demise!
BRODY: Um, Tampo. You're sort of creeping me out.
TAMPO: But that's all... {notices Stlunko isn't typing} Stlunko! Ahem... {Stlunko starts typing} but that's all way too far from my budget range. I mean, how much would you make someone pay to have your body? So let's consider something a bit more realistic, like maybe a new robot body for me. Well Wry, I'll let you know that I've already started construction on a new robot body. My top builders are working on it in the engineering lab right now. Let's go see how they're doing, shall we?
{Tampo floats away, leaving his two friends by the Plasma 2000.}
{Cut to the engineering lab. A giant metallic box is sitting in the middle of the room with a stylish logo of a "T" over a lightning bolt. Random machine parts are scattered around. Greggos, Jaros and Grundies are walking around, working on the big box in the middle. Tampo floats in.}
TAMPO: How's it going, guys? Making progress?
{The overseer, who is a Greggo wearing a red cap, approaches Tampo.}
OVERSEER: Great progress, Tampo! Great progress. We're way above schedule. In fact, we're practically finished! Why don't you go give it a test run?
TAMPO: Sure, that'll be great.
OVERSEER: Alrighty, just wait a second. {shouting} Hey, guys! Tampo's gonna give it a test run, okay? So get outta the way!
{All the workers run to the edges of the room and look at Tampo, who floats to the spot directly above the metallic box. Tampo shrinks down to a small size. A circle of the box's roof opens up and Tampo floats down, and the roof closes behind him.}
TAMPO: {shouting happily from inside body} Oh, yeah! I have a body! This is great! I've always wanted to know how it feels like, and now I can happily say that... {stops shouting} aren't bodies supposed to allow movement? I can't do anything in here. Let me out!
{The door on the roof of the body opens and Tampo floats out and grows to his normal size.}
TAMPO: {shouting angrily} Come on, guys! Even the average robot out there should know that robot bodies require movement and ways to interact with its surroundings! How else can they have fightings? I expected better from you! Okay, you guys, {indicates the Grundies} get some arms on this thing! And you, {indicates the Jaros} build some legs for this box. Not wheels or any of that crap, just normal legs! And you, Overseer, get some Greggos together and make some way for me to see, hear and contact the outer world while inside that thing! Any questions? No? Good. Now get to work.
{Tampo floats away. As he leaves, several commands are heard being yelled out.}
{Cut back a rather faraway shot of computer. Brody is nowhere to be seen. Stlunko has some sort of word file on, but clickly closes it as he notices Tampo approaching. The view changes to a fullscreen image of the Plasma 2000. As Tampo gets back to his original position, a new word document is opened and Stlunko types everything Tampo says.}
TAMPO: Well, that was stupid. Sorry you had to hear that people, but I mean, you would think those guys wouldn't have to be told all that stuff, right? Well, I hope they get it right next time. I'll go check up on them later. So... until then, why don't you guys email me? {Stlunko types this last phrase as "wry don`t you guys email me"}
{The classic "Click here to email Tampo" popup appears onscreen.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the Emperor's crown before Tampo strikes to view the fight scene in slow motion and with special effects to make it look cool.
- Click on the word "right" at the end of the email to see another one of Tampo's ideas.
- {Cut to the city of 20X6. People in the foreground are running away. A giant robot is holding part of a bulding in his right arm.}
- TAMPO: {voiceover} Oh! Oh! And maybe being in an old giant robot body would be cool as well!
- ROBOT TAMPO: {booming} Ha ha ha ha! Stinkoman, where are you?! Come out so I can crush you!
- TAMPO: {voiceover} Yeah, that'd be cool.
- At the end on the email, click on the word "stupid" in the part of the word document that isn't obstructed by the "Email Tampo" popup to see what the Overseer is doing at the moment.
- {The Overseer is standing up close, in the background several Greggos, Jaros and Grundies are running around, started to piece together appendages for the robot body.}
- OVERSEER: Arms, legs, eyes, ears... such brilliant ideas! Why didn't I think of those?
Fun Facts
- This email is continued on the following email, "lazor beams."
- In fact, the idea of both emails was originally going to be in one email, but it turned out to be so long, Joshua split it in two.
- If you zoom in, you can read the word document Stlunko had on. It reads...
March 31, 20X6
Dear Diary,
Today when we were answering an email during our email show, Tampo started zoning out of reality. I don't understand why this happened, but I think further analysis is nessecary. We can't have anything going wrong with our leader. That would-
- The song Tampo sings at the beginning of the show is a play on the Reading Rainbow theme song.
- "Crap-for-brains" is a reference to "The Luau," where Strong Bad first used the phrase.
- Stinkoman eating chicken soup at the table is a reference to stage 2.1 of the game Stinkoman 20X6.
- The Emperor is the 20X6 version of the King of Town.
- Stlunko's typos at the end of the email are mocking the sender's bad spelling and grammar.
- The symbol used in the emailer's "don`t" is not an apostrophe but a symbol in the top-left corner of most keyboards.
Quick Links
- View this email's deleted scenes.
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