Other Character Email Tampo/ten emails

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Tampo Email #15: "ten emails"

Summary: Tampo's inbox is quite full, so he answers ten emails at once. And then gets burninated.

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, 1-Up, Chorch, Stinkoman, Trogador (Easter Egg), Various Robots (Easter Egg), A Cyborg (Easter Egg)

Places: Computer Room, Holding Cell, A Field

Length: 255 Lines

Date: May 16th, 2005

Contents

Transcript

{Cut to a far away shot of the computer room. Tampo floats by.}

TAMPO: {calling} Zyves? Zyves? Where are you? {faces SuperCom} Maybe he had to go somewhere for a few days on short notice. I dunno... why wouldn't be tell us? Maybe he left me an email.

{Tampo floats to the SuperCom, and the camera follows to a close-up.}

TAMPO: Okay, www.robotmail.com. Login for me.

{An InstaNet pop-up appears onscreen and instantly goes to the robotmail.com website. It automatically logs in to Tampo's inbox, with his username and password already recorded. Tampo's inbox data is displayed.}

TAMPO: Alright... any from Zyves?

SUPERCOM: Scanning... Zyves' email address identified. Zero matches found in Tampo368 inbox.

TAMPO: Bummer. Oh, well- Wait! FIFTEEN unread messages?! Oh, man. I gotta answer some of those before our public starts getting impatient! But fifteen?! There's no way I can- wait a second... that's it!

{Scene fades to black.}

{Scene fades back in. It's the SuperCom again, but now Brody and Stlunko are with Tampo, in email checking position.}

TAMPO: Hello, viewers. In honor of this, our fifteenth email, I've decided to answer fifteen of your emails!

BRODY: Minus five.

TAMPO: Yes, minus five. Ten emails. Because I don't want to have a completely empty inbox.

BRODY: That would not be nice.

STLUNKO: It is always a good idea to have an email in your inbox, just in case.

TAMPO: Anyway, email one!

{An email is displayed. Tampo reads it.}

TAMPO: Well, great warrior from the past, I hope those peaches aren't too proud of you, because we will be back to kill you! But, until then...

BRODY: Let's just answer his email, okay?

TAMPO: Okay. Well, evil one, it's nice being a giant brain. In fact, it's pretty awesome. I mean, you get to float all over the place. I mean, who wouldn't want to float around all over the place?

STLUNKO: Flying seems to be very useful. I will have to get a hovering mechanism installed onto me sometime.

TAMPO: That might not be a bad idea. But as I was saying, I'm sure you all you viewers are wishing you were giant brains right now, it's so awesome. And check it out!

{A picture of an x-ray of Tampo appears onscreen on a pop-up. It is just a pure white fill-in of Tampo.}

TAMPO: No internal organs or skeletal system. Now how awesome is that?

BRODY: {sarcastic} ...pretty awesome.

TAMPO: Okay... number two.

{The x-ray pop-up closes. Another email is displayed and Tampo reads it.}

BRODY: {right after Tampo reads the first line} Heh. I like that.

TAMPO: {after reading email} Well Big Letter, I wasn't around X1 years ago before deep space flight and... cyber ham? What the crap is cyber ham?

STLUNKO: Virtual ham. Used in virtual reality.

TAMPO: Ooooh. Well, if you are curious, I suppose you could check out our old email "2005" if you want. That will answer your question. Dark times, really. Dark times.

BRODY: Don't forget about Strongbadia.

TAMPO: Oh, yes. Can't forget about that. I mean, it's bad enough for Stinkoman to own a house. But back then, his kind was the ruler of a whole country. Man, if we lived back there, we would have to make major changes. Um... that's it. Number three.

{The email pop-up is replaced with another one.}

TAMPO: {reading email} Stlunko. {stops reading} Ooh, Stlunko. Your first personal email. Okay... {continues reading} Your name seems a lot like-

{Suddenly the whole computer screen flashes blue with white text and a buzzer noice is heard.}

{The screens returns to normal, but the email pop-up is blank.}

TAMPO: Hey! What was that for? Who did that?

STLUNKO: Oops. Accident.

TAMPO: What? You accidentally erased an email? How can you accidentally do that.

{Stlunko doesn't talk for five seconds.}

TAMPO: Ugh, whatever.

BRODY: Nice deletion thing, though.

STLUNKO: Do you like it? I downloaded it off the InstaNet and installed it onto the computer.

TAMPO: Number four. Don't delete this one.

{The next email appears.}

STLUNKO: Our first Strong Bad Email clone.

TAMPO: Strong Bad Email clone?

STLUNKO: Strong Bad Emails were extremely popular back in the 2000's. Occasionally the most uncreative of people will copy the emails he has received, slightly modify them, and send them to someone else.

BRODY: So, it's a way to write emails without actually writing the email?

STLUNKO: Yes.

BRODY: That's lame.

TAMPO: Yeah, but I'll still answer it. Well Kerrek PA, you're right about 1-Up being weird and all.

{Cut to 1-Up in the holding cell. He is sitting against the wall.}

1-UP: {singing mournfully} Pudding! Pudding! I've lost... my pudding! Pudding, where have... you gooooone??

{Cut back to the SuperCom.}

TAMPO: And no, I don't think you deserve to know more about him, Strong Bad copycat. I mean, if you're going to copycat someone, at least copycat someone cool. Like me. I'm cool.

BRODY: Ahem. {reading} I think you should do an interview so we can finally find out what his deal is.

TAMPO: Okay. Stlunko, bring 1-Up. And keep him in a forcefield, we don't want him escaping.

STLUNKO: Do not worry. He will not escape.

{Stlunko rolls away.}

TAMPO: {to himself} Copying Strong Bad? He's dead! Who wants to copy a dead guy?

{Stlunko returns with 1-Up, who is trapped in the F.O.R.C.E.'s forcefield.}

1-UP: Hello, guys. Can you let me go now?

TAMPO: Not until we find that teleporter on you. Now, Kerrek PA wants to know what your deal is. So, as your captor, I order you to tell him.

1-UP: Um... pudding?

TAMPO: Thanks. That'll be all.

1-UP: Wait, no. My deal is that I wanna be the guy!

TAMPO: Alright, fine. Whatever.

1-UP: But pudding's so good...

TAMPO: Stlunko, take him back to his cell.

{Stlunko leaves, taking 1-Up with him.}

1-UP: {while leaving} But then again, I really want to be the guy, too...

TAMPO: Man, 1-Up is annoying. I swear, I'm going to kill him as soon as I find that teleporter.

BRODY: Yeah, it's amazing our robots haven't found it yet. 1-Up hid it well.

TAMPO: Yes, too well. Anyway, email number five. Half way there.

{Another email pops up onscreen, and Tampo reads.}

TAMPO: Making 1-Up cry? Well, I can assume you wrote this before we captured the whiny thing. But if you haven't heard him cry before, trust me, you aren't missing out on anything.

BRODY: Still, he is part of your adoring public.

TAMPO: Yep, and I will do my duty as an email-answerer to answer this email.

{Stlunko reenters the room.}

TAMPO: Okay, Stlunko. Go get 1-Up.

{Stlunko beeps, pauses, beeps again and then goes off to get 1-Up.}'

TAMPO: And Brody, go to the kitchen and get some you-know-what.

BRODY: You-know-what? Oh, I see. Gotcha.

{Brody leaves.}'

TAMPO: And I need to go get something.

{Tampo leaves the room. A few seconds later, the trio returns. Stlunko has 1-Up. Brody is holding a bucket of brown pudding in his beak, and Tampo is returning with a Chorch. The Chorch is holding a metallic box with a large hole on top, with a glowing aura coming out.}

1-UP: Hello again, guys. I've made up my mind! My deal is-

TAMPO: Shut up and observe. {motions to Brody's bucket} A bucket of pudding, see?

1-UP: Pudding! I like pudding!

TAMPO: Yes, well... {motions to the Chorch's box} ...this is a trash disposal unit. Do you know what it does?

1-UP: You put all your garbage in it to feed to me? Ooh! Are you going to throw that pudding in?

TAMPO: Yes, we are going to throw the pudding in. But when someone goes in it, it is baked at 1,000 degrees celcius!

1-UP: NO! My pudding! NOOOO!!!

BRODY: Now?

TAMPO: Now.

{Brody releases the pudding bucket and the whole thing falls into the trash disposal unit. It glows extra bright for a second and then turns back to normal.}

1-UP: {breaks down to tears} Nooooo! Puh-puh-pudding!!! I'm sorry!! {sobbing uncontrollably} You meant so much to me!!!

TAMPO: Okay, Stlunko. We've heard enough.

STLUNKO: Chorch, take him to the holding cell. Do not let him escape.

CHORCH: Yes, sir.

{The Chorch grabs the F.O.R.C.E. with the hand that isn't holding the trash disposal unit and leaves. 1-Up cries and wails as he goes. The boss trio goes back to the SuperCom.}

TAMPO: Well, Mr. Cradgage, I hope you now understand why 1-Up crying is-

STLUNKO: Tampo.

TAMPO: Yes?

STLUNKO: This is a Strong Bad Email clone, too.

TAMPO: What? Why, Mr. Cradgage, you lasy crap-for-crap! DELETED!!!

{The blue deleted screen appears again, and when it leaves, the email is gone.}

STLUNKO: You sounded just like Strong Bad there.

TAMPO: Shut up. Number six.

{Another email pops up. Tampo reads it.}

{Tampo says "Anime happy face" instead of "^_^"}

TAMPO: {reads up to Spongebob Squarepants} Woah. The Spongebob Squarepants? What an honor! I saw you on that movie a few months ago! No wait, I lied. I, nor anyone else, has ever heard of Stupidbob Squarepoops.

{Stlunko moves next to Tampo and whispers something inaudible.}

TAMPO: What? Cartoon series? Movie star?! Oh. Um... {embarrassed, continues reading} Or not.

STLUNKO: And your response was copied from Strong Bad.

TAMPO: What? My response?

STLUNKO: Yes. Your response.

TAMPO: Ugh. All these Strong Bad Email clones must be getting to me. This email isn't a clone, right?

STLUNKO: No. This email is 100% custom made. No relation to any Strong Bad Emails.

TAMPO: Good. Well, Spongebob, I've never had pizza. In fact, I've never heard of pizza. In fact, I don't even think pizza exists.

{A pop-up appears with a pizza picture on it and a brief description, which is read out loud.}

SUPERCOM: Pizza. A popular human food. Originated in Italy approximately X0 years ago. Several versions are still around today and are popular with humans.

BRODY: I'll have to try this "pizza" sometime.

TAMPO: Well, to answer your speculations, Spongebob, I don't eat. Does it look like I can eat? No. Like I said earlier, I have no internal organs. But I do like to absorb pure energy from time to time.

STLUNKO: In the form of laserballs.

TAMPO: Yeah. I eat... laserballs. Let's go with that. So... next.

{Another email pops up. Tampo reads.}

TAMPO: Well, Samus, we don't really have any real horrible enemies, but if you want you can go destroy Stinkoman, that would be nice. However, there are three things wrong with your phone number.

STLUNKO: That is not a legit phone number.

BRODY: I don't think phones are used anymore.

TAMPO: And do you really think we're that stupid?

BRODY: I think he's joking. No one's stupid enough to think we're that stupid.

TAMPO: Probably. But anyway Samus, in regards to the only intelligent part of your email, no I don't miss my robot body. That was a phase I went through, but I've realized that having a robot body isn't that big of a deal. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but for now I'm content with being a floating brain. {pauses} Number eight.

BRODY: Stinko Man K: 20X6? What kind of show is that? I didn't ever hear of it.

STLUNKO: It was a movie released a few years ago starring Stinkoman.

BRODY: Well, I know we never were on that show.

TAMPO: Actually...

BRODY: I mean, a show starring Stinkoman?

TAMPO: Actually...

BRODY: That has- oh, Tampo. Sorry. Um...

TAMPO: Thank you. Actually Trogga, I tried out for that show once.

BRODY: You did?

TAMPO: Yeah. It was before I joined up with these guys, and I was looking for a job. It didn't go so well.

{Cut to a field. Tampo and Stinkoman are facing each other from a distance.}

STINKOMAN: Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!?!

TAMPO: Die, Stinko-scum!

STINKOMAN: DOUBLE DUECE!!!

{Stinkoman flies at Tampo in a double duece attack. Stinkoman hits Tampo in the upper front brain and sinks halfway in.}

STINKOMAN: {stuck} Mmmfh!!

DIRECTER: {offscreen} Cut!

TAMPO: Ugh, this is not gonna work.

{Cut back to the SuperCom.}

BRODY: Eww!

TAMPO: Yeah, I, uh, quit right after that. Um... number nine.

TAMPO: Well person who has trouble using names, we actually haven't formulated any plans for attacking Stinkoman. We've been sort of busy with the moving and then fighting NEB-1.

BRODY: Don't get this wrong, we will attack Stinkoman again.

TAMPO: Yeah, um, when we get a good plan. So... time for the last email.

STLUNKO: {after Tampo reads the first line} That other guy?

TAMPO: {after reading} Well Captain Olimar, thanks for the idea. I guess Fanbert will get an answer after all.

BRODY: So are we going to get Trogador to help us? How?

TAMPO: I think Trogador hates Stinkoman as much as we do. We'll get him and then go challenge Stinkoman.

BRODY: Great! Let's go!

{The three leave the computer. The screen fades to black.}

{The screen fades back to the computer. Tampo, Brody and Stlunko reenter. They are all blackened, charred and smoking.}

TAMPO: Well, Captain Stupid, it turns out Trogador hates everyone as much as Stinkoman. Thanks a lot for that lame idea.

BRODY: Now we gotta get all clean.

TAMPO: So until next time, um, I hope guys send better emails. Good-bye.

{The three bosses leave the computer. The "Click here to email Tampo" pop-up appears onscreen.}

BRODY: {offscreen, fading away} Don't you just hate it when we blindly follow stupid suggestions...?

Easter Eggs

  • On the last email's pop-up, which is still partially visible, you can click on "Trogador" to see a 20X6 version of the Trogdor song at the end of the Strong Bad Email "dragon."
{It is similar to the original, except the screen is black and the pictures are multicolored neon lights. And the peasants are replaced with robots, cottages with factories and Trogdor, of course, is replaced with Trogador. Also, the scene during ending line is a shaking picture of Trogador.}
TAMPO: {voice over, screaming} TROGADOR!!! TROGADOR!!! {singing} Trogador was a robot! I mean, he was a dragon-robot! Or, maybe he was just a dragon. Um... But he was still TROGADOR!!!! TROGADOR!!!! Burninating the city's side! Burninating the cyborgs! Burninating all the robots! In their robot FACTORIES!!! ROBOT FACTORIES!!! {screaming} And Trogador comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!
  • Click on "Stupid" on the at the end to see 1-Up all muscular, obviously having eaten a power crunch.
{1-Up walks into the scene all muscular-like.}
1-UP: Have you seen the pudding killers anywhere?!
BRODY: {offscreen} Oh, snap!

Fun Facts

  • This email was not intended to be an extra-long email special. It was just to clear Tampo's overstuffed inbox. It turned out to be really long.
  • It is advisable that you read the previous email "attacked" to help you understand what is happening with Zyves and 1-Up.
  • Fifteen messages is Tampo's inbox refers to Tampo's inbox at the time that part was written, which you can view here.
  • After he gets Brody and Stlunko, Tampo's first line refer's to Strong Bad's introduction of the email "50 emails," where he said a similar thing.
  • "Forever the pride of the peaches" in Homsar's email refers to Strong Bad's immitation of a Homsar quote in the email "interview."
    • This same email was referenced again in the first Strong Bad Email clone Tampo reads. The only words that were changed were "Strong Bad" to "Tampo" and "Homsar" to "1-Up." Even the name of the sender is identical.
  • Tampo calling Homsar a strong, evil warrior and plotting revenge refers to the Tampo Email "conquest," where Homsar singlehandedly defeated the trio.
  • The "DELETED!!!" function Stlunko downloaded is copy of Strong Bad's "DELETED!!!" funtion for the Compy 368.
  • The second Strong Bad Email clone Tampo receives is from "crying," with only the names changed around.
    • Coincidently, Tampo's accidental Strong Bad-esque response to the Spongebob Squarepants email is also from "crying."
  • "Speculations" is a word Strong Bad uses in the beginning of "animal."
  • Tampo saying that having a robot body isn't that big of a deal might refer to the fact that whenever he's had a robot body, he's always gotten hurt.
  • "Stinko Man K: 20X6" is the name of the japanese show where 20X6 first appeared. It was only seen in the email "japanese cartoon."
  • Stinkoman getting stuck in Tampo could be a reference to the earlier Tampo email "relatives," where Stinkoman's thong gets stuck in Tampo.
  • Tampo saying that they've been busy moving refers to the emails "girlfriend" and "new stuff." Tampo saying they've been busy battling NEB-1 refers to "attacked."
  • Captain Olimar is the main character of the Nintendo game "Pikmin."
  • Trogador is the official 20X6 version of Trogdor.

Quick Links

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