Other Character Email Tampo/sb emails

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Tampo Email #19: "sb emails"

Summary: Tampo is plagued by Strong Bad Email clones. A lot of clones.

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Holo-Tampo, Holo-Brody, Holo-Stlunko, Strong Bad (Easter Egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strong Bad's Computer Room (Easter Egg)

Length: 128 Lines

Date: June 2nd, 2005

Contents

Transcript

{Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are at the SuperCom, alone.}

TAMPO: Alright, it's time for that email show.

BRODY: Good. I need something to get my mind off of Zyves being a spy.

TAMPO: Well, some nice relaxing emails will help get our minds off of it. Okay... {singing} email-la, email-la, ee-ee, email-la.

{An email is displayed onscreen. Tampo reads it.}

TAMPO: Well Vinnie, I do hate Homsar, and I guess I could go kill him, but you know what? There's one thing I hate more than Homsar, and that's Strong Bad Email clones.

BRODY: Yeah. Strong Bad stinks. He created Stinkoman.

STLUNKO: But Stinkoman did save our lives yesterday.

TAMPO: Yeah, I guess. But I still hate Strong Bad, and I don't want any of these SBEmail advertisements, okay?

BRODY: And we have studied the SBEmails throughly ever since those two ones we got on that ten-email special, so we'll know a clone when I see one! {sighs} Whoo-boy. That wasn't restful.

TAMPO: Let's try another one. Maybe it'll be nicer.

{That email is closed and another one is displayed, which Tampo reads.}

TAMPO: And what? "I am a vampire and here's 1-Up's head on a platter?"

BRODY: "I am a vampire and I'm sending you Stinkoman's power crunch?"

TAMPO: Or is it "I am a vampire and I am so uncreative I can't write a good email?"

STLUNKO: Another bad email. Let us try again. I will open another random one.

{The email is apparently deleted, as it is closed and another is displayed, which Tampo reads.}

TAMPO: Well, uh, at least he changed the name and body parts...

STLUNKO: Delete.

{The SuperCom's screen is replaced with a big, blue DELETED! screen with a buzzer noice.}

{Another email is displayed when it switches back.}

TAMPO: Y'know, that deleted screen is from Strong Bad emails. We'll have to get rid of it right away.

STLUNKO: Fine. Uninstall DELETED! file.

SUPERCOM: DELETED! file uninstalled.

TAMPO: Good. Okay... {read displayed email}

BRODY: UGH!

TAMPO: {normal} Well, the one thing I would like to have in an email is for it to {angry} not be a freakin' Strong Bad email! Geez! The rest wouldn't matter. It could be something as generic as a challenge email to Brody for all I care! As long as it's not a Strong Bad email clone.

STLUNKO: SuperCom, emit a holograph of Tampo's dream email.

SUPERCOM: Yes, masters. {makes a whirring sound and then emits a bright light}

{The bright light fades to reveal the boss trio at the SuperCom. The screen blurs and fizzes from time to time, and the sound quality is a little below average.}

HOLO-TAMPO: Email. Could it get any cooler?

{An email is displayed. Holo-Tampo reads it.}

HOLO-TAMPO: Yes! YES! Not a Strong Bad Email copy!

HOLO-BRODY: Hooray!

{The hologram pans out to reveal a scene of the entire computer room. Suddenly balloons and streams drop, party music plays, lights flash, and a banner comes down reading "NOT A STRONG BAD EMAIL COPY!"}

HOLO-TAMPO: You are so awesome, S-C-I-I-I, for not sending a SBEmail clone. Sure, we'll duel you.

{Suddenly the hologram clicks off to reveal the trio back at their computer with the SBEmail copy still onscreen.}

TAMPO: Yeah, one of those good, classic, non-Strong Bad emails would be nice. Let's try again.

{Another email is displayed. Tampo reads it.}

BRODY: Well, it's not exactly a Strong Bad Email clone...

STLUNKO: ...but it is from a Strong Bad Email.

TAMPO: Okay... well, robot who is definitely not Stinkoman, I think I should inform you that technically Stinkoman is my father, causing this email to be worse than crappy crap.

BRODY: If someone was going to send a crapmail like this, you'd think they could at least check their facts, right?

STLUNKO: Actually, if someone was going to send a horrible email, I am sure they would not bother to study for it.

TAMPO: Whatever the case, the author of this email needs to die. Slowly and painfully. Let's try one last email.

{The final email is displayed and Tampo reads it.}

TAMPO: Him again? Well, Mr. Crapgage, the answer to this one is obvious.

SUPERCOM: I understand. Activate program: Do over!!!

{Suddenly the computer screen flashes light. When the light fades, the email pop-up is gone.}

BRODY: What just happened?

TAMPO: {simutaniously} What did you just do, SuperCom?

SUPERCOM: I resetting my system and your email client back a few minutes.

STLUNKO: It is now like if those emails were never opened.

TAMPO: Cool. Okay, um, make something that will automatically delete Strong Bad Email clones.

SUPERCOM: {beeps, a downloading pop-up is displayed} EDGARMAN.EXE downloading.

BRODY: Edgarman.exe?

STLUNKO: It is an automatic SBEmail Clone filter programmed a few months ago.

{The downloading pop-up reaches 100%. A beeping noice is made and a new pop-up is displayed with a picture of Edgarman, a robotic version of Edgar.} 

     Edgarman the
SBEmail Clone Hunter

programmed entirely
 in mom's kitchen

TAMPO: Heh, nice.

{Suddenly the pop-up closes and another pop-up is briefly displayed.}

BRODY: Well, that was a little relaxing, I guess.

TAMPO: I know what will hit the spot. SuperCom, locate the people who sent us all those SBEmail clones!

SUPERCOM: All Strong Bad Email Clone authors located: Mr. Cradgage.

STLUNKO: Only one author?

TAMPO: Wow. Talk about a spammer. Okay, locate his home.

SUPERCOM: Mr. Cradgage's home is located.

TAMPO: Okay, lock on and fire three nuclear missiles.

{Faint rocket-takeoff sounds can be heard in the distance.}

SUPERCOM: Three nuclear missiles locked on, fired, and en route.

TAMPO: Ah, that felt good.

BRODY: I guess it felt relaxing in a twisted, sick sort of way.

TAMPO: Well, they weren't real nuclear rockets. By thought, I ordered them to be holographical nukes with fake explosions. But it'll sure scare the crap out of him.

STLUNKO: So what should we do now?

TAMPO: Um... want to watch?

BRODY: Sure!

{The trio leaves the SuperCom, which displays the "Click here to email Tampo" pop-up.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on new "EdgarMan" icon on the SuperCom to see Strong Bad.
{Strong Bad is at his computer room with the Compy 368.}
STRONG BAD: {singing} Email... it's like... as awesome... as me....
Dear Strong Bad,
What was it like when you had a robot body?
Laser Printer and Holo
STRONG BAD: What the crap is this? Some sort of crapmail? I'll take care of this! DELETED!!!
STRONG BAD: Okay, let's try another one.
Is Homestar stupid enough for you
to bring him to "the dark side"?
-SC III
STRONG BAD: Dark side? Homestar? Well, this email is definitely worth my time and considerat- DELETED!!!
{Strong Bad opens another email.}
Dear mask head,
Why arn't you awesome?
Not your fan, your loyalest minion.
{Strong Bad says "deleted" instead of "minion." The email deletes itself.}
STRONG BAD: C'mon people! Can't you send me good emails? Ugh. I need some fresh air. {gets up}

Fun Facts

  • The first email Tampo opens is from "homsar."
  • The second email Tampo opens is from "trevor the vampire."
  • The third email Tampo opens is from "some kinda robot."
  • The fourth email Tampo opens is from "dreamail."
  • The part of Tampo's "dream email" before the word "no" is from "montage."
    • Yes, Tampo's "dream email" was a real email from his inbox.
  • The fifth email Tampo opens is based on the letter shown in an easter egg on "pom pom."
  • The last email Tampo opens is from "do over."
  • The first email Strong Bad opens in the easter egg is from the Tampo Email "robot body."
  • The second email Strong Bad opens is from the Tampo Email "dark side."
  • The third email Strong Bad opens is from the Tampo Email "biggest fan."
  • Brody saying that Zyves is a spy relates to the events that occured in the previous email "saargtsson."
    • Stlunko mentioning that Stinkoman saving their lives is also related to "saargtsson."
  • The email Tampo receives about hating Homsar may relate to the Tampo's defeat to Homsar in "conquest," and Tampo's promise to get revenge someday in "ten emails."
  • Tampo's "dream email" rap is a reference to the email rap in the second Imitation Strong Bad Email: "homeschool."
  • Tampo calling SC III "S-C-I-I-I" refers to Tampo's identical interpretation of his name in "dark side."
  • Stinkoman being Tampo's "father" is explained in detail in the Tampo Email "relatives."
  • Edgarman.exe is the 20X6 version of Edgaware.
  • Strong Bad saying, "Well, this is certainly worth my time and considerat- DELETED!!!" is a reference to his similar line in his email "spring cleaning."

Quick Links

This email features a hidden DVD Commentary by Joshua and TotalSpaceshipGuy3.
Tampo Emails
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robot body | time travel | construction | lazor beams | conquest | 2005 | chickens | kids' show | celebration | relatives | future | biggest fan | girlfriend | new stuff | crossover | attacked | ten emails | dark side | training | saargtsson | sb emails | virus | master | inspection | betrayal | security | apocalypse | tornado guy | death | experiment | marbles | revolution | bozar | poorbt-mail | revenge | threats | captured | chabarg | clear out | headmaster | tv shows | bomb squad | cousins | freeze | time stream | anniversary | firewall | nausea | genealogy | overthrow

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