Other Character Email Tampo/revolution

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A photo of International Teleportations. (pic by this person)

Tampo Email #30: "revolution"

Summary: It's the showdown between Tampo, Brody and Stlunko and the Boss Trio Reloaded's revolution!

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Greggos, Chorch Commander, The Trickster, Grundies, Chorches, Sidekick Bob, Terrells, Jaros, Stobats, Miss Jibney, Various SWAT Robots, The Emperor, A Poorbt, Saargtsson, A Gaspeau, Zyves, The Master, Stinkoman (Easter Egg), 1-Up (Easter Egg)

Places: Experiment Room, Security Room, The Boss Trio Reloaded's HQ, A Room, Trio's Bedroom, Computer Room, Massage Room, Main Chamber, International Teleportations Inc., A Field, A Robotic Forest, Robotic Forest Canopy, Lava Zone Entrance, Various Lava Zone Caverns, Lunar Warehouse's Telecommunications Room, Scanning Room, Stinkoman's House (Easter Egg)

Length: 818 Lines

Date: September 17, 2005

Contents

Transcript

Chapter 1 - The Return

Tampo, Brody and Stlunko return to the Lunar Warehouse, and the Boss Trio Reloaded have to revert to Plan G.

{Fade in to the experiment room. There is a white flash, and then the three bosses are in the middle of the room, perfectly normal and correctly sized.}

TAMPO: {calling out} Minions, we're back!

STLUNKO: If today's date is the one I requested, we should have only been missing for one day.

TAMPO: Good.

BRODY: {looks at his side} He fixed my feathers!

STLUNKO: What should we do now?

{The camera starts zooming out and upward from the trio.}

TAMPO: Eh... I guess we should go check on our minions...

{The camera zooms out further to reveal the trio being displayed on a TV screen in a mechanical security room. A few neon green numbers appear in the upper-right corner, showing some stats.}

TAMPO: {from the TV} ...and see what they did when we weren't here.

{A normal Greggo's silhouette appears, obscuring some of the screen.}

THE GREGGO: {in a slow, emotionless voice} Oh, no. They are back. I better warn my all-powerful surpreme and almighty masters. {walks away}

BRODY: {from the TV} Actually, I'm thinking that maybe we could send Trevor a reward. Y'know, for being so nice to us...

{Sound and visuals fade to nothing and then fade in to the Boss Trio Reloaded's HQ, at least according a sign on the wall. There are three large hexagonal pedestrials on the far side of the room, each with computers and screens on them. On two of them are Chorch Commander and the Trickster, who both look slightly different: They are both three times bigger than before. Chorch Commander now has many more badges than before and an army hat with a star emblem on his head. The Trickster looks normal except he is wearing red, angular, somewhat evil-looking shades. They appear to be controlling their computers by thought.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: HypnoSphere still operating at 100%.

THE TRICKSTER: Great. Do you think it's finally time to contact the Master?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Proba- huh? {notices the Greggo down below} Who's that? Who are you?

THE GREGGO: {hypnotized voice} I am your humble servant, great master. {does a Greggo-style bow} I bring terrible news that the evil Tampo has returned with-

THE TRICKSTER: {surprised, whispers to Chorch Commander} What?! How could he?!

THE GREGGO: -his two evil friends.

CHORCH COMMANDER: {whispering back} I don't know.

THE GREGGO: They are in the Experiment Room.

THE TRICKSTER: Alright Greggo. Thanks for the warning or whatever.

THE GREGGO: Glad to be of service, my masters. {leaves}

{We zoom in to the Trickster and Chorch Commander on their pedestrials.}

THE TRICKSTER: So what do we do? How'd they escape?

CHORCH COMMANDER: I don't know how they came back, but I'm prepared. {to the computer hardware in front of him} Activate emergency plan G!

{While both bosses watch, the computers in front of Chorch Commander compute and whir. Then they flash briefly.}

COMPUTER: Operation "G" activated.

{Cut to some boring gray-ish room in the Lunar Warehouse somewhere. The only thing of interest is a Greggo and Grundy in the middle of it.}

THE GRUNDY: {hypnotized voice} So fellow minion, any ideas on how to make Sidekick Bob happy? He seems to be a little upset.

THE GREGGO: {hypnotized voice} I have a better idea. We should-

{Suddenly they both flash white for a second.}

BOTH: {simutaniously, hypnotized voices} Operation "G" activated.

THE GREGGO: {still hypnotized} We should go inform Tampo of our loyalty, as we are most loyal to him.

THE GRUNDY: {same voice} No, let us just do the jobs that our great masters Tampo, Brody and Stlunko give us, for we work for them.

THE GREGGO: Yes, we do.

{Cut back to Chorch Commander and the Trickster.}

THE TRICKSTER: So you just set the entire warehouse into stealth mode, so the three breakouts won't suspect anything?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, but now we need them incapacitated while I devise a plan to get rid of them.

THE TRICKSTER: How will we do that?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Oh, I know how to do that easily. So, they're in the Experiment Room, eh?

{Cut to the normal boss trio, still in the experiment room.}

STLUNKO: ...and that is why the risks of sending a reward to Trevor through the multiversal transport are too great.

TAMPO: {annoyed} Thanks, Stlunko. That really long explanation is just what we needed.

STLUNKO: You are welcome.

BRODY: Alright guys, I'm tired of this room. Let's get out of... here... huh?

TAMPO: Hmm... that's odd.

{Four laser-gun like objects connected to the four upper corners of the room whur to life and aim at the trio. Only three of them are visible from the camera angle, however. The a metalic door suddenly slams down, blocking the exit.}

BRODY: {nervous} Stlunko- um, what's happening?

STLUNKO: I do not know. Our security system should know that we are not a threat.

{The lasers start charging visibly.}

TAMPO: Uh, guys, I think we better get moving!

BRODY: To where? There's nowhere to go! Nowhere to hide!

{Suddenly one of the the guns shoots a yellow laser blast that just misses Tampo and hits the ground. The ground releases a little bit of sparks upon impact, but besides that is undamaged. Tampo and Brody quickly move back and forth, narrowly dodging lasers coming at them from all four corners. Stlunko is not being hit, but only because the lasers don't seem to be aiming at him.}

STLUNKO: They appear to be merely stun lasers. Their charge should not be fatal but rather only tempor- {gets hit and powers down}

BRODY: Stlunko!

{Brody jumps toward Stlunko to help him, but is shot by a stray laser mid-jump, causing him to crumple onto Stlunko, unconscious.}

TAMPO: {quickly moves up, a laser zooming just beneath him} Oh, great. I can't dodge these things forever. {quickly moves to the left, then right, dodging two lasers} Maybe I could...

{Tampo goes up to the camera and the laser gun that is out of our field of vision. He apparently zaps it with a laser ball and a powering-down sound is heard.}

TAMPO: Gotcha.

{Suddenly an electrical blast zaps Tampo's back. His eyes roll upwards and then close, and he slumps down to the ground, unconscious. The laser gun in the corner opposite of him is slightly smoking. All the laser guns start deactivating as the screen fades to black.}

{Fade back to Chorch Commander and the Trickster on their pedestrials. The unconscious boss trio is slightly visible on their computer screens. The two rebels are talking to each other from seperate pedesrials.}

THE TRICKSTER: {sarcastic} Nice work, Commander. They sure won't suspect anything now.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Don't worry, these lasers stun their brains and blur their short-term memory. When they awaken, in their beds of course, they'll be confused because this incident will seem like a dream.

THE TRICKSTER: Oh, okay... but then what? I mean, we can't work with them walking around. Shouldn't we just throw them in the prison cell while they're unconscious?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, that would be the simplest solution. But alas, there is a small problem.

{On the computer screens, several Chorches enter the room carrying three large stretchers, each taking six Chorches to carry. A bunch of Greggos follow behind them. They are ignored by the Trickster and Chorch Commander.}

THE TRICKSTER: What's the problem?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Stlunko.

THE TRICKSTER: Hmm... how so?

CHORCH COMMANDER: I'm not sure if you are aware of this or not, but Stlunko possesses an extremely powerful radio.

{Onscreen, the Chorches manage to get Tampo and Brody onto the stretchers and start slowly lugging them off. The Greggos begin to push the heavy Stlunko, who slowly starts rolling. Soon everyone is out of the experiment room and the video feed ends. The two rebels barely notice.}

THE TRICKSTER: I knew that. So you're saying that he could call for help?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Well, yes, but that's not the real problem. You see, the HypnoSphere is constantly sending out hypnotizing radio waves that I won't bother going into detail on. However, if another radio sends radio waves using a similar frequency into the vicinity of the HypnoSphere's radiation, it could cause interference.

THE TRICKSTER: Would Stlunko do that?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Well, not accidentally. The frequency is unusual and hard to reach. But if he suspects hypnotizing radiation being used, I'm positive he'll try to locate it with his radio scanners. This interference would free a hefty portion of our army from the HypnoSphere's grasp.

THE TRICKSTER: Which would be bad.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, very bad.

THE TRICKSTER: And I suppose we can't just hypnotize Tampo, Brody and Stlunko, huh?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Nope. At least, not for lengthly periods of time. Our technology isn't strong enough. We'd need several more years for that.

THE TRICKSTER: Should we just send them back to that alternate universe?

CHORCH COMMANDER: No, that's obviously not secure anymore.

THE TRICKSTER: Why don't we just destroy that pesky trio in their sleep? That would solve a lot of problems.

{The Chorch Commander glances down to the ground below the pedestrials, and the Trickster follows his gaze. The camera pans out to reveal more of the room, including where Chorch Commander and the Trickster are looking at. They are look at Sidekick Bob, who is also three times as large as before and has two red eyes similar to Stlunko's, as opposed to the moving red blip he had before. He is also wearing a Homestarmy bowl for a hat. He looks up at the Trickster with an angry expression.}

THE TRICKSTER: Oh. Can't we just disable Stlunko's radio?

SIDEKICK BOB: {yelling to the Trickster} No, of course we can't. I checked. It's intergrated into his CPU. Disabling it would kill him.

{Sidekick Bob starts hopping away as the camera pans back to the duo on their pedestrials.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: He's right, and we should not destroy them unless the Master gives us permission to.

THE TRICKSTER: So let's send the Master a transmission right now.

CHORCH COMMANDER: No, we can't just tell him that we overthrew three of his major underlings and took control of their army and then ask if we can dispose of them. We have to do something that would please the Master first. Like, attack Stinkoman or something. Don't worry about that, I have it all planned. We just have to get rid of Tampo and his two buddies first.

THE TRICKSTER: Fine, but wait, isn't the prison forcefield radiowave proof? He couldn't interfere if he's locked up in there.

CHORCH COMMANDER: True, but all it would take would be a glitch, or a power outage, or a rescue attempt, and the forcefield could be weak enough for Stlunko to send a radio signal out.

THE TRICKSTER: And that could be bad. So what will we do with them?

CHORCH COMMANDER: We simply have to lock Stlunko up far enough so his radio can't reach us.

THE TRICKSTER: But- but that's impossible. His radio signal is so great, he'd have to be-

CHORCH COMMANDER: -back on Planet K. I know.

THE TRICKSTER: But we don't control any prison cells outside this warehouse.

CHORCH COMMANDER: No, we don't. But I've done my research and I know some people who do and will lock those three up. And I'm almost ready to send Tampo, Brody and Stlunko right to their door and keep them there. All I need is a few more hours for my latest invention to be complete.

THE TRICKSTER: Okay, I sort of lost you there.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Don't worry about it. I'll explain everything...

{The screen fades to black and Chorch Commander's voice fades away.}

Chapter 2 - The Revolt

Tampo reads - and ignores - a very important email, and then the truth is revealed.

{Fade in to a darkened room. It is the three bosses' bedroom. It is a huge glass dome, showing the starry sky and lunar landscape outside. Decorations are hanging from the dome, and there are two large, fluffy beds in the middle of the room, one of them really long. There's also an elegant matress nearby with a ramp around it, and a large, golden socket sticking out of the ground near it. Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are all on their appropiate beds, unconscious but otherwise appear fine. Stlunko is plugged in to the wall. After five seconds, Brody groggily begins to awaken.}

BRODY: {groggily sits up} Wh-wh-where am I? What happened?

{The noise stirs Tampo.}

TAMPO: {half-opens an eye, sleepy} What is it, Brody? Did Booty- {suddenly his eyes pop wide open; floats up} This isn't Trevor's house. This is- this is-

BRODY: {more awake, looks around} -our bedroom! But how? How'd we get here?

TAMPO: I don't remember- everything's fuzzy. I think I remember... a marble.

BRODY: Yeah, me too. Strange.

{Stlunko suddenly powers up and his extension cord retracts back into his back. Suddenly the lights turn on the room is bright, triggered by Stlunko.}

STLUNKO: Why are you guys making so much noise? Wait a second, we are in our old bedroom.

TAMPO: Yes, any idea why?

STLUNKO: No. I am searching my memory banks, but everything is blurred. The last thing I remember is leaving Trevor's house for some reason. And marbles. I remember marbles.

BRODY: Yeah, something marble-related definitely happened.

TAMPO: Marble, schmarble. I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously our minions brought us back, and the multiversal transport-y thingy went wrong and we were KO'd.

BRODY: {sarcastic} Obviously.

STLUNKO: Email time?

TAMPO: You read my mind. It's been a while since our last email, let's go do it.

BRODY: Whatever.

{The three leave their bedroom. Once they leave, the lights turn off again and the screen cuts to the SuperCom in the Computer Room. The boss trio enter and get in position.}

TAMPO: {rap} Blasting numbuh thirty on the email map... here comes Master Tampo with his email rap!

{Brody rolls his eyes. Stlunko brings up another email by throught.}

TAMPO: New boss trio? There's no new boss trio here. We're the boss trio. Forever and always.

BRODY: And a giant hypnotic ray? No one's hypnotized around here.

STLUNKO: Although recently-

{A voice cuts Stlunko off. The camera pans out to show some of the Computer Room. A Terrell is sitting nearby.}

THE TERRELL: {hypnotized voice} Excuse me, masters. Me and some other of your humble servants are offering you three a free massage in a nearby room. Because we are loyal to you and no other.

TAMPO: So you see, Michelle? Everything's fine here, and our minions are as loyal as ever. And I don't see any other hypnotized beings around here.

BRODY: Um, Tampo, Terrells don't usually sound like that.

TAMPO: You're right. Little Terrell, what's the matter with your voice?

THE TERRELL: {hypnotized voice} I have a cold.

TAMPO: See, Brody? Nothing to worry about.

BRODY: Okay...

STLUNKO: Maybe I should do a radio scan just in-

THE TERRELL: {hypnotized voice} Stop! It is time. You must come at once for your free massage, great masters.

TAMPO: {angry} Don't order us around, got that?! {normal} Good. Now, lead the way. Or else.

STLUNKO: I am unsure about this, but I do love circut massages.

{The Terrell starts bouncing away, and the other three slowly follow.}

TAMPO: {to computer as he leaves} So DD, everything seems fine around here. You probably have us confused with some other webcammers.

{Cut to non-descript room. There is a normal Greggo and Chorch in the room, along with three very large, blue mats. The Terrell enters the room with the boss trio.}

THE TERRELL: We are ready to give you three a massage. Please go on your mats.

{Tampo nods and goes onto the farthest mat and descends onto it, and the Greggo gets behind him. Meanwhile Brody goes and lays down onto the middle mat with the Terrell following him. Stlunko plants himself onto the closest mat, the one with the Chorch behind it.}

TAMPO: Okay, minions. Start the relaxation.

{The Greggo behind Tampo gets closer and starts sending small, visible electrical pulses into Tampo, apparently triggering pleasure.}

TAMPO: {closes eyes in relaxation} Aaaaaahh...

{Meanwhile, the Terrell hops onto Brody's back and starts wiggling around upon it in a weird fashion.}

BRODY: Aaaaahh, that feels good. A little higher...

{The Terrel complies. Meanwhile, the Chorch opens a back panel on Stlunko. (We can't see in it because of the camera angle.) The Chorch sticks his pinchers in and small electrical sparks fly out. Stlunko powers down slightly and his eyes become relaxed.}

{The screen fades to a full-screen analog clock. It reads 4:30, but clickly speeds ahead to 5:00.}

{Back to the massage room. Everything is as it was before with the boss trio still getting their massages. Tampo and Brody appear to be asleep.}

STLUNKO: {slow, calm voice} This is nice of you, minions, but I think we need to get back to work.

{The Chorch behind him starts working a little harder, and Stlunko powers down a little more. After a pause, three more Chorches enter the room without disturbing the boss trio. They are all holding small microchip-like devises.}

A CHORCH: {one of the new ones, hypnotized voice} We got the chips. It's time.

{The three massaging minions nod. The three new Chorches go behind each of the bosses. First, the one behind Stlunko inserts his chip into Stlunko, via the opened hatch. It is quickly followed by soothing sparks so that Stlunko doesn't notice. Stlunko's massage continues as the one behind Tampo swiftly stuffs his chip between two of Tampo's wrinkles. Tampo's eyes open wide in surprise.}

TAMPO: {surprise} Ooh!

{The Greggo quickly starts soothing Tampo with electrical shocks, and Tampo calms down thinking it was just a mistake made by the Greggo. Right after this happens, the last Chorch produces a small bazooka-like gun and loads the remaining microchip into it. The Terrell hops off Brody's back and the Chorch aims the gun very carefully. He fires the silent air-powered gun. The microchip goes into Brody's back and becomes complete hidden inside.}

BRODY: OWIE!!!!!!

{Brody hops up in surprise, screaming in pain. The other two bosses are instantly alert. Tampo quickly floats up, knocking the Greggo who was massaging him to the ground. During the distraction, the Chorch with the gun tosses it to another Chorch, who secretly leaves the room with it.}

BRODY: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What'd you do?!

{All three bosses glare at the Terrell who was massaging Brody, who has a blank expression.}

THE TERRELL: {hypnotized voice} Oops. I tripped while massaging you and my beak pierced your back.

STLUNKO: How can you trip without legs?!

A CHORCH: {the one who had shot Brody, hypnotized voice} Hold still. I have an auto-recovery bandage. {produces a large, glowing band-aid}

BRODY: {cringing in pain} It hurts! It hurts! {stops jumping, the cut starts to bleed} I'm bleeding!

TAMPO: Clumsy Terrel! You deserve to be killed.

{The Terrell doesn't respond to Tampo's threat. The Chorch with the bandage puts it on the cut and the nearby feathers glow green for a second. The Chorch removes the bandage and everything seems fine.}

BRODY: {stops cringing} The- the pain. It's gone! Hooray for technology.

STLUNKO: That sure was convenient.

THE CHORCH: Yes it was. Now follow me. Someone wants to meet you three in the main chamber.

STLUNKO: Really? That is odd.

{Tampo glances at Brody, who shrugs. The Chorch leaves the room and the three bosses follow. The Terrell, Greggo and two other Chorches take up the rear.}

{Cut to the main chamber. A huge crowd of hypnotized minions is standing around, staring blankly. In front of them, three times larger than the rest, is the Boss Trio Reloaded. Chorch Commander's up front, with the Trickster and Sidekick Bob behind him and to his right and left. Tampo, Brody and Stlunko enter, and the minions who were escorting them join the crowds.}

BRODY: What the-

TAMPO: What is this? Who are you?!

CHORCH COMMANDER: Hello Tampo, Brody, Stlunko. We are the elite three that make up the Boss Trio Reloaded. We have been working undercover and have started a revolution against you three!

TAMPO: What?! Revolution?

BRODY: Boss Trio Reloaded? So Dennis was right...

THE TRICKSTER: And you fell right until our-

STLUNKO: What a second... Reloaded? Revolutions?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Well, yeah.

SIDEKICK BOB: But that's as far as the Matrix references go.

{Suddenly a Grundy walks up out from the crowd and goes up to the Trickster. All six bosses stare at him.}

GRUNDY: {hypnotized voice} The Trickster, this may be a bad time, but they messed up your order of really expensive diamond silverware.

THE TRICKSTER: {angry whisper} What? Why do you have to tell me this now?! {glances around} Um... how exactly is it messed up?

GRUNDY: There is no spoon.

{Brody cracks a smile. The Trickster makes an annoyed expression and kicks the Grundy, sending him flying offscreen.}

THE TRICKSTER: Sorry about that. Anyway, we're here to overthrow you.

CHORCH COMMANDER: And you fell right into our trap. You guys are so gullible.

BRODY: The massage was a trap?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yep.

TAMPO: Wait a second... you're Chorch Commander #20!

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, I am. Back from the dead, I suppose. But enough talk. It's time for you three to leave.

STLUNKO: How do you plan to do that? With your hypnotized army of our minions?

CHORCH COMMANDER: No. Sidekick Bob, explain.

SIDEKICK BOB: Okay. During the massage, our minions injected you three with special microchips that will automatically cause a painful continuous shock to your bodies. The only way for it to not work is if a jammer is planted nearby.

TAMPO: A jammer?

STLUNKO: I do not like where this is going.

SIDEKICK BOB: There are currently only two of these jammers in existance. One in a nearby room, and one hidden somewhere near Stinkoman's house.

STLUNKO: So you are going to deactivate the nearby one, forcing us to reside near Stinkoman?

BRODY: What's the point of that? Why not just lock us up here?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Oh, don't worry. We have our reasons. Now, before you guys wise up and attack us... {shouts} Deactivate the nearby jammer!

TAMPO: Nooooo!!!

{A distant deactivation sound is heard. Suddenly Tampo and Brody fall to the floor, rolling and cringing in pain. Stlunko becomes paralyzed and his visor starts to fizz and blink.}

STLUNKO: Oh, no. This could cause internal damage.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Teleport them... now!

{A blinding white beam from an unseen source strikes the original boss trio. In a flash, they are gone, leaving the Boss Trio Reloaded with their hypnotized army.}

SIDEKICK BOB: Is that it? Are they gone?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes. They are gone.

THE TRICKSTER: Trapped in the perfect jailcell.

{The scene fades to black.}

Chapter 3 - The Refugees

The boss trio is trapped in Challenge City, being chased by the long arm of the law.

{Cut to the inside of a large cylindrical building. There's a big silver disk in the middle of the yellow-walled room. Up front is a computer desk with a women sitting behind it. She's wearing a workers uniform but seems to be relaxing. Along the back wall in big, bold, gray letters is the text "INTERNATIONAL TELEPORTATIONS, Inc." Suddenly lights start flashing on the lady's computer and she gives them full attention. She enters some numbers into the keyboard. There is a flash and then Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are in the middle of the disk. Tampo and Brody and still on the floor, but they don't seem to be in pain and quickly get up.}

TAMPO: Well, that was very weird.

BRODY: At least the pain's all gone. So where are we?

WOMAN: {to the trio} Hello... {reads computer screen} Tampo, Brody and Stuh... unko. {looks back up} My name is Miss Jibney. Welcome to Challenge City, where the challenges come to you. Thank you for choosing International Teleportations, Inc.

BRODY: {whispering to Stlunko} We chose ITI?

STLUNKO: {whispering back} The Boss Trio Reloaded must have already made preparations for us.

WOMAN: Hey... do I know you guys? You two seem familiar... {indicates Tampo and Brody} Have we met?

TAMPO: Uh... I don't think so.

STLUNKO: Sorry, but I have no memory of you.

WOMAN: Well, that's okay. I'd think I'd remember visitors as... unique as you. Enjoy your stay here!

TAMPO: {slight sarcasm} I'm sure we will.

BRODY: Hey, look! It's us! {points somewhere behind camera}

TAMPO: Huh?

{Everyone, including the woman, look to the different Brody's pointing to with his wing. Cut to where everyone's looking towards. On the wall is a large old west-style "Wanted" poster. It reads "Wanted" on top, has an image of Brody and an image of Tampo side-by-side in the middle, and then the text "Brody & Tampo - Dead or Alive - For Destroying the Chicken Factories - $15,000 or so Reward." After a few seconds, we cut back to the previous scene.}

TAMPO: Uh, oh.

BRODY: Dead or alive?!

{The women stares at them and smashes a button on her computer.}

WOMAN: Security! Police! The famous chicken industry destroyers are here! Help!

TAMPO: Uh... we're not going to hurt you. That won't be nessecary...

{The woman runs out of the room screaming and mechanical doors are heard closing and locking.}

TAMPO: So this was that trio's plan. To let us get caught by the cops.

BRODY: Are we... going to jail? I mean, it seems like we're locked in here.

STLUNKO: We are not locked in here. {faces the wall, and punches it with all his strength}

{A large crack forms in the spot where the wall was punched, and Stlunko pulls back his hand. After a second, the crack crumples into a large hole in the wall, big enough for all three bosses. Empty green fields and a distant forest of robo-trees are visible outside.}

STLUNKO: Let us get out of here right away.

TAMPO: Good job, Stlunko.

BRODY: Yay! We're safe!

{Distant sirens are heard. Tampo glances behind him, and then quickly rushes out the hole in the wall. Brody and Stlunko follow, moving quickly. After a few seconds, a metal door is heard opening and human-like SWAT robots barge into the room, laser guns pointing around the room. They are wearing the classic black SWAT attire with word "S.W.A.T." written with white text on their clothing. After pointing their guns way and that, noticing the big whole in the wall and lack of chicken facorty destroyers, one of them takes out a radio.}

THE SWAT ROBOT: The suspects have escaped into the forest. I repeat, the suspects have escaped.

{Cut to Tampo, Brody and Stlunko in a field, quickly moving.}

BRODY: {while running, between huffs} Man, we won't be able to keep going like this forever.

TAMPO: {while moving quickly} We are not going to rot away in some jail!

BRODY: Well, we have to hide or something!

TAMPO: There's a forest ahead. It looks pretty thick. We could probably hide in there.

A SWAT ROBOT: {in distance, faint} There they are! After them! {faint sirens heard}

STLUNKO: We need to get hidden fast. Those police officers are quickly approaching.

{After a few more seconds, the terrain that the trio is running through changes to a large forest of tall robotic trees, with a thick canopy and several true trunks, which the boss trio are barely dodging. The camera starts to slow down and the trio slowly outrun the camera and go out of sight stage right. A few seconds later, SWAT robots appear from the left side, riding small cars and tanks and holding laser guns.}

A SWAT ROBOT: {while moving} Where are they? They disappeared?

ANOTHER SWAT ROBOT: They must have disappeared behind that cluster of trees up ahead. Move, move!

{The SWAT unit speeds up. The camera stops moving, and the SWAT quickly move out of site. Then we pan upwards to the robot-tree canopy. We break through the metallic-leaf roof of the forest to the boss trio, resting and catching their breath up here in the open air.}

BRODY: {catching break} Stlunko... I didn't know you... could climb trees.

STLUNKO: My conveyer belt has remarkable traction, and these robotic trees are extremely strong.

TAMPO: Well, I'm more amazed that these leaves can hold your weight.

STLUNKO: The anatomy of robotic trees such as these is fascinating.

TAMPO: I'll take note of that.

BRODY: Are we safe up here? I mean, from the SWAT squad?

STLUNKO: I believe so. Their tracking technology did not appear to be too advanced. You may still want to be quiet.

TAMPO: Yes, we need to shut up.

BRODY: {all following dialogue in this scene is whispered} One thing I don't get is how come we can mob Stinkoman's house without getting in trouble with the law, but when I destroy a few chicken factories, they take it as serious as murber! When it's actually the opposite! I don't get it...

TAMPO: Well, I don't know too much about goverments. But I'm curious about why we're only wanted in this city, while we don't experience problems in anywhere else. Stlunko, you know pretty much everything about everything. Can you explain?

STLUNKO: Yes. To answer Tampo's question, in this part of the world the cities and nearby areas are run by independant monarchies, who inforce their laws with their large armys. And they do not really have any power outside of their domain.

BRODY: And the chickens over Stinkoman thing...

STLUNKO: This city just has a really bad dictator.

{Cut to the Emperor's Throneroom. There's a large, golden throne where the Emporer of Challenge City sits. He looks like the King of Town, except with a golden robe and larger, jeweled crown. He is fat. Two robot guards are standing to his sides and a long, ornate, red carpet leads towards the throne. The room itself is golden and ornamented. A robot messenger, looking like a bronze Greggo, walks up the carpet and bows to the king. He arises.}

THE MESSENGER: I bring you news Emperor. A stick figure-like alien has mobbed Stinkoman's house without a permit.

THE EMPEROR: Why should I care about you little robots and your needs. This Stinkoman can protect himself. Doo hoo hoo!

THE MESSENGER: Oh. Well, um, it seems like this brain creature and giant chicken have destroyed all nearby chicken factories.

THE EMPEROR: {mad} What?! Treason! Kill them! My fried chicken shall be avenged!

{Cut back to the boss trio in the tree tops.}

BRODY: Well that explains a lot.

TAMPO: That's great and all, but we need to find a place to hide from the cops.

BRODY: And get our house back from those reloaded guys.

STLUNKO: We cannot go back to the moon with these microchips in our bodies.

BRODY: That is still very gross.

TAMPO: Stlunko, you're pretty good with surgery and all that stuff. I hope. Do you think you come up get... them out?

BRODY: Not here!

STLUNKO: Brody is correct. We would need a quiet, secure place.

TAMPO: Like our old warehouse?

STLUNKO: No, you saw how destroyed it got. It is probably crawling with scavengers and low lifes.

BRODY: Then where do we go?

STLUNKO: I have an idea.

BRODY: Tell us it quickly. I don't think these trees will hold our weight forev-

{The leaves behind them crack and then break apart. Stlunko and Brody fall through.}

BRODY: Ahhhhhhhh!

{Tampo looks down, and then floats down to rejoin Brody and Stlunko. The camera stays up here.}

A SWAT ROBOT: {distant} Did you hear that?

BRODY: {offscreen} Run!

{Cut to behind a large rock in a field. Stlunko, Brody and Tampo are here, hiding. Tampo and Brody are catching their breath.}

BRODY: Well... {pants} we lost them. {catches breath} Again.

TAMPO: So Stlunko, where's this hideout you mentioned?

STLUNKO: We need a nearby, well-hidden place with shelter, food and water, run by a character who does not care about local laws. There is only one available location.

BRODY: Hmm... who?

TAMPO: I know...

TAMPO & STLUNKO: {simutaniously} Saargtsson's lair.

STLUNKO: Yes. His underground network of tunnels and caverns in the lava zone would be a perfect place to live for the time being, until we are able to go back to the moon.

BRODY: Saargtsson? You mean our bitter rival who recently sent a spy into our midst and tried to kill us? Why would he help us?

TAMPO: Yeah, Stlunko. It's the perfect hiding spot... except I don't think Saargtsson would be too thrilled.

STLUNKO: Normally, he would not. However, I think we have something that would please him.

TAMPO: What? In case you didn't notice, we were seperated from all our stuff.

STLUNKO: Actually, that is not true.

BRODY: It isn't?

STLUNKO: No. I always carry around...

{While talking, Stlunko reaches behind his back. A mechanical door on Stlunko's back (we can't see it from this angle) is heard sliding opening, and then closing as Stlunko brings his hands back to the front. They are each clutching two full sacks with money symbols on them.}

STLUNKO: $2 million, just in case.

TAMPO: Okay... so we're going to give Saargtsson $2 million?

STLUNKO: Not all of it. {puts a money sack away and then reaches into the first one, pulling out a rectangular, golden card} $100,000 should satisfy him for quite a while.

BRODY: I don't know if it's worth it... {faint, distant sirens are heard} Okay, okay!

TAMPO: I guess I'm fine with the plan. Where is the entrance to Saargtsson's lair anyway? It's been so long...

STLUNKO: Do you think I suggested this hiding spot randomly? The main entrance to the lava zone is right here.

BRODY: Huh?

{The three turn around and face the rock. Stlunko puts his money away and then knocks on the rock wall twice. Suddenly part of the rock rotates to reveal a television screen with a Poorbt's head on the other end, against a red background.}

TAMPO: {whispering to Brody and Stlunko} Let me handle this. {to Poorbt} Hello little minion guy, we'd like to talk to your master Saargtsson. We have a... deal we'd like to discuss with him.

POORBT: {scared} You're- you're those Doodoo-heads Saargtsson warned be about!

{The Poorbt smashes an unseen button on a dashboard below him and then raises his arms in the air and runs away.}

POORBT: {screaming while running} Ahhhhh! Saargtsson! The Doodoo-heads are here!!!

BRODY: Doodoo-heads?

{Suddenly six charged laser guns pop out of the rock, aimed at the trio. The three bosses freeze where they are, their eyes nervously looking left and right. Stlunko raises his hands in surrender.}

Chapter 4 - The Reaction

Tampo and company find themselves in a temporary home away from home.
Meanwhile, the Master gives the Boss Trio Reloaded his consent.

{Same scene.}

TAMPO: Don't shoot us with these obviously-deadly lasers!

BRODY: We come in peace!

{Saargtsson's head appears on the screen.}

SAARGTSSON: Well... what do we have here?

TAMPO: We need your help! Put these lasers away.

SAARGTSSON: What'ssssss in it ffffffor me? Why sssssshouldn't I jusssssst kill you now?

{In a swift motion, Stlunko reaches into his back and pulls out the $100,000 golden card.}

STLUNKO: We are offering $100,000 for a place to stay.

SAARGTSSON: Hmm...

{Saargtsson presses an unseen button the lasers retract back into the wall.}

SAARGTSSON: I ssssssuppossse I could let you sssssstay for one month... if you do ssssssome choressssss...

BRODY: One month?! Only one month? This is one hundred-

{Saargtsson quickly presses a button and the laser guns come back, aimed and charged. The boss trio freezes again. The distant sirens start getting louder.}

TAMPO: Brody!

BRODY: Okay! One month for $100,000. That's cool.

SAARGTSSON: Good...

{The lasers retract again and a slab in the rock rotates to form a large door.}

SAARGTSSON: Come in. {turns the TV screen off, it disappears back inside the rock.}

{The three bosses glance at each other, then slowly enter the dark tunnel, becoming complete enveloped in the black. The camera stays outside as the boss trio goes in. After a few seconds, a falling sound is heard along with Brody screaming. Then the sound of Brody and Stlunko landing with a thud far below is heard.}

TAMPO: Huh? Brody? Stlunko? Where'd you go?

{The rock slab rotates back to close the exit. Suddenly the camera pans down through the ground. First there's just brown soil, but then it starts turning red-ish. Suddenly it breaks through to a large underground cavern. Everything is red or orange, and lava is visible flowing in the back end of the cavern and is lighting up the room with an orange glow. There's a large metal platform in the middle of the room that appears to be some sort of elevator, with a hole in the roof directly above it. On it are Stlunko and Brody, who seem to have fallen onto it. Brody looks dazed.}

BRODY: Ooooooh... what happened?

{Tampo floats down from the hole in the ceiling.}

TAMPO: What happened to you guys? Forgot to look where you walk?

STLUNKO: Tampo, you are lucky to be able to fly.

TAMPO: Maybe. But anyway... where's Saargtsson? SAARGTSSON!

BRODY: {no longer dazed, calling out} Saargtsson! Where are you?!

{Saargtsson crawls out from the lava stream in the background and slithers up to the boss trio.}

SAARGTSSON: Hello wormssssss. I'll take thhhhhat!

{Saargtsson whacks the money card from Stlunko's hand. It flies into the foreground and out of sight. A vacuum sound is heard, probably the card getting sucked up into something.}

SAARGTSSON: Ssssssorry, but I fffffforgot activate the elevater for you. Anyway, now thhhhat I have your money, I guessssss it'ssssss time to give you thhhhree a tour of your new home. Follow me.

{Brody gulps. Saargtsson slithers past the camera, and the other bosses follow. Cut to a long hallway. This is a sideways view, so we can't see what's ahead. The four bosses are moving along this path.}

SAARGTSSON: Sssssso, what bringssssss you here?

TAMPO: It's a long story.

SAARGTSSON: Let me guessssss... Were you kicked out of your home by a revolt of your minionssssss?

TAMPO: Huh?

BRODY: You'd you know that?

SAARGTSSON: Oh, you'd be ssssssurprisssssssed how quickly newssssss ssspreads around here.

{The foursome walk past a Poorbt who is sitting against the wall, reading a newspaper. On the back, a visible headline reads "MINION REVOLUTION EXILES CHICKEN FACTORY MURDERERS! BEWARE!" The boss trio stops briefly and are visibly surprised when they read that. The Poorbt ignores them and they continue moving.}

TAMPO: So how's work going?

SAARGTSSON: Eh, pretty good. I reccccccently had lava put in Ssstinkoman'ssssss water supply. And I have over one million timessssss more MeritPointssssss than you.

BRODY: What? Really?!

{A Gaspeau floats by, going the opposite direction.}

THE GASPEAU: {in a weird, wiggly voice} Actually, he only has 25 MeritPoints. Not too much.

SAARGTSSON: Sssssssilenccce, you ssslob! My ssstatement is ssstill true.

STLUNKO: It is not that amazing, considering we have zero.

{The Gaspeau silently continues on its way. Zyves begins to walk past when he notices Brody. He looks up at Brody and smiles friendly and hopefully, only to get a cold glare in return. Zyves faces away from Brody and continues walking.}

STLUNKO: How is Zyves doing?

SAARGTSSON: He'sssssss doing fine.

STLUNKO: Oh. Can you lead us to some medical scanning equipment? I need to see something.

SAARGTSSON: Ssssssure. It'ssssss right up ahead.

{The camera stops moving forward and the four bosses move out of site. Cut to a room in the Lunar Warehouse. The Boss Trio Reloaded is here, along with several computers in the walls and a large screen. On the screen is a live feed with the Master, whose image is blurred a little. Chorch Commander is talking to him and The Trickster is watching from the side. Sidekick Bob is studying some moniters on the lower left part of the wall.}

MASTER STICKLYMAN: You shouldn't have done this without my consent, lowly Chorch.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, Master, I know. But I feared that you wouldn't give me consent. Me and my two allies will prove to you that we can do a better job with this army and equipment than your previous underlings.

MASTER STICKLYMAN: What exactly did you do with Tampo, Brody and Stlunko?

CHORCH COMMANDER: They are incapacitated. But don't worry, they're not dead.

MASTER STICKLYMAN: I don't care too much about them. They didn't do a very good job for the cause.

CHORCH COMMANDER: I know. We will do better. We won't spend so much time relaxing, drawing comics and broadcasting email shows like they did. We'll use our power to aid you in your noble cause, and succeed where they failed.

MASTER STICKLYMAN: Words are fine, but when do you plan on doing these things?

CHORCH COMMANDER: An army of minions is being sent to Stinkoman's house loaded with stinkbombs, acid guns and all sorts of unpleasant surprises for Stinkoman as we speak.

MASTER STICKLYMAN: Very well. I look forward to meeting you in person, new commander.

CHORCH COMMANDER: As do I.

{The screen turns off. Chorch Commander laughs and turns to the Trickster.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: This is the best job ever. Money, power, fame. All we have to do is send our minions to wreak havoc upon Stinkoman once and in a while and everything will be fine.

THE TRICKSTER: Yep. Everything went according to plan. Our mobile HypnoSpheres are working great on the minions, and with the boss trio in jail, we won't have anything to worry about. By the way, how's Project Helix going?

CHORCH COMMANDER: It's complete. We can use the gi-

SIDEKICK BOB: Um, Commander, Trickster, you might want to see this.

{Chorch Commander and the Trickster go behind Sidekick Bob and look at the screen. On it is a birds eye view of Challenge City, with three blips near each other on to the east side of the town. A negative symbol is next to them, indicating that they are underground.}

SIDEKICK BOB: According to the tracer... it appears as if Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are walking around under Challenge City.

THE TRICKSTER: Underground? You mean, in an underground prison or something, right?

SIDEKICK BOB: No, not that. I think it's the Lava Zone. A group of underground lava-filled caverned that extend throughout the city. Another minion of the Master, Saargtsson, lives there.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, I'm aware of Saargtsson and his little holes. But he's long time rivals with the boss trio. I didn't think he'd let them live with him.

THE TRICKSTER: Maybe they overpowered him and took over his home?

SIDEKICK BOB: He has an army of minions, Trickster.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Yes, I doubt he took over them. But this is something I didn't foresee. I think we need to get out the results of Project Helix and give those three a visit.

THE TRICKSTER: Sounds like fun.

{Fade back to the Lava Zone. The boss trio and Saargtsson are in a room with mechanical equipment. Tampo is laying down on some sort of scanner. Stlunko is looking at a nearby monitor and pressing the occasional button. Brody and Saargtsson are observing nearby. Saargtsson appears somewhat confused.}

STLUNKO: No. This is bad. This cannot be accurate.

SAARGTSSON: My computerssssss are perfffect.

BRODY: {worried} What is it?

TAMPO: Yeah, what's the matter?

STLUNKO: We are unable to remove the microchips from our bodies.

{Brody cringes.}

TAMPO: What? Why not? I thought we had plenty of equipment here.

STLUNKO: We do. But those Reloaded guys are more clever than I thought. They have planted a tiny, yet powerful bomb along with the chip.

TAMPO & BRODY: {simutaniously shocked} A BOMB!?!

STLUNKO: Do not worry, it will not go off. My circuitry and your nervous system both create small electrical pulses that send messages throughout our bodies. I assume these bombs have been implanted into all three of us. These bombs are in tune with those electrical pulses.

SAARGTSSON: Fffassssssinating.

BRODY: So... we're safe?

STLUNKO: Yes, as long as these bombs, which are fused to the microchips, stay in our bodies. If they are taken out, they will immediately short circuit and explode.

TAMPO: That sucks. Is there anything we can do?

STLUNKO: I suppose we could attempt to keep them charged with eletricity while removing them, but such a process would be extremely risky.

TAMPO: I'd rather not.

SAARGTSSON: You guyssssss aren't going to risssk any of my precccioussssss equipment.

TAMPO: Well, is there any way you could deactivate it?

STLUNKO: I would guess that there would be a deactivation panel somewhere, although I am sure it is far out of our reach.

BRODY: You know guys, I'd really like to change the subject.

TAMPO: Yeah, me too. This is gross and depressing. {gets up} Hey Saargtsson, do you think you could show us a computer we could use while we're here? You know, because we'll probably be here a while.

SAARGTSSON: Hmm... I guessssss I do have the perfffect computer for you thhhree. Follow me.

{Saargtsson leaves the scene. Stlunko powers down the scanner and the trio follow the lava snake.}

Chapter 5 - The Rebuff

The three meet their new computer and get an email that offers a second chance.

{Cut to a moderately sized room in the Lava Zone. It is empty save for a red computer in the far end and a lightly flowing stream of lava on the left side of the room. The computer appears to be about the same size as Tampo, and is the shape of a rectangular prism wtih rounded edges. It is elevated several feet above the ground by a red pole. In front and below it is an appropiately-sized keyboard, also elevated by a pole. After a few seconds, Saargtsson enters the room followed by the boss trio.}

SAARGTSSON: Welcome to your new living quarterssssss. It isssn't too big, but it ssshould be ssssssuitable to your liking. And I'll get one offf those charging generator thingiessssss inssstalled sssoon for you, Ssstlunko.

STLUNKO: Yes, I need one of those.

TAMPO: So... that's the superpowerful computer you talked about? {goes up to the computer} It's small.

{Everyone else goes up to the computer.}

BRODY: It doesn't look modern.

SAARGTSSON: It'ssssss plenty modern. I usssed to ussse it all the time, and now it'ssssss yourssssss!

STLUNKO: {reading a timy label on it} It is an '08 OmegaSystem Computer. A prototype of large computers developed by humans in the year 2008. It focused on pure screen size at the cost of computing power and user-friendly interface. It was never sold to the public and was quickly outdated. It is large to the humans who designed it.

BRODY: This is some lame X0-year-old computer! It's ancient.

SAARGTSSON: What? Nooo... {fires a small laser from his mouth, burning up the label but not damaging anything else} Thissssss isss the bessst computer on the market! It is called the "SssaargtSsscreen." {pronounced "sar-git-SCREEN"}

BRODY: SaargtScreen? This is dumb.

TAMPO: All I need is InstaNet access for my emails and Stlunko's scanners. It doesn't have to be super powerful.

SAARGTSSON: Fine, ssso it'ssssss not that powerful. But it isss connected to the InssstaNet and it issssss the bessst you'll be getting. And it issssss called the SssaargtSsscreen.

TAMPO: Eh, whatever. We won't be here long. Turn it on.

SAARGTSSON: Hold on a sssecond. A computer wassssss never part of the deal. It will cossst you an extra... ten thousssand dollarssssss.

BRODY: Ten thousand dollars?! For this piece of crap?

SAARGTSSON: Take it or leave it. If you don't pay, I won't sssupply power to thissssss maccchine.

STLUNKO: You decide, Tampo.

TAMPO: Well, we'll be filthy rich again once we get our home back. And we gotta have our priorities. Deal.

SAARGTSSON: Good.

{Stlunko hesitantly takes a silver card from the compartment and shows it to Saargtsson.}

SAARGTSSON: Keep it for now. In cassse you didn't noticccccce, I don't have any armssssss.

STLUNKO: Right. {puts it back}

{The SaargtScreen inexplicably powers up and loads. The entire screen is black with a little bit of red text.}

Booting up...done

C:\>

BRODY: Um... what is that?

STLUNKO: It uses DOS.

TAMPO: Well, um... it's classic, I guess. Anyway, it does checks emails, right?

STLUNKO: Yes, although its interface is not that good. And I can use it to scan things, although I doubt it has a fast connection. I will get your email show set up.

{Stlunko gets in front of it and starts typing on the keyboard.}

STLUNKO: I have not used one of these keyboards in a long time...

{Stlunko enters in the following.}

C:\>RUN InstaNet

Connecting to dial-up modem...

{There is a lengthly pause. Brody shakes his head.}

Connecting to dial-up modem...online

HTTP:\>www.robotmail.com

CSS:\>user:Tampo368 pass:***********

Waiting for http://www.robotmail.com...accepted

You have 61 new message(s).

SAARGTSSON: That isss not a sssmall number. That issssss a big number.

TAMPO: Yeah, we'll have to do something about that. But not now. Stlunko, any emails that might help us get our home back? Like, a plan or something? From a fan? A fan plan?

STLUNKO: Hold on a second. Let me scan our inbox... crapmail. Crapmail. Really bad crapmail. Vaguely interesting mail. Crapmail. Oh, here is something of interest: a message from the Boss Trio Reloaded.

{Stlunko types the following command in and the following email pops up. The camera zooms in on the computer screen. Tampo reads it the email out loud.}

CSS:\>openmail: Congratulations

Dear Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko,
___I must say, I'm impressed. You outsmarted me. I never thought you'd be able to make a home in Saargtsson's little lair. And I'm still not sure how you did it. So I suppose I must congratulate you. Although I am sure you would rather be in your nice lunar home right now, wouldn't you?
___Well, me and my two friends here are offering a challenge for you. Winner gets your nice home and all that goes with it. Losers... or should I say you, have to turn yourself in to the police. Deal?
___If you accept, meet us outside the Lava Zone's main en- trance. You should know where it is.

- Chorch Commander of the Boss Trio Reloaded.

{There is a lengthly pause after Tampo reads it. The camera pans out to show more of the room.}

STLUNKO: Should we accept?

BRODY: I think we can beat them.

TAMPO: Me, too. What do we really have to lose?

SAARGTSSON: Your fffreedom?

STLUNKO: If we fail, the cost would be great.

TAMPO: Yeah... but if we win we get our home back! I'm willing to give it a try.

BRODY: I guess I am, too. Besides, we're the good guys. We have to win.

SAARGTSSON: {sarcastic} ...riiight. Well, I'm not going to help you guyssssss. Sssee you later. Or not. {slithers out of the room}

TAMPO: Ready?

STLUNKO: I am willing.

TAMPO: Let's go.

{Stlunko presses a button on the keyboard and the computer shuts down. Then the three start to leave the room. The screen fades to black.}

{Fade in to back outside Saargtsson's Lair, the scene behind the large rock. The rock slab opens again and the boss trio slowly exits. Tampo squints in the sunlight.}

BRODY: Alright reloaded guys, where are- oh.

{The camera pans out to show a full shot of the boss trio standing together next to the rock and the Boss Trio Reloaded facing them, several yards away. The door in the rock closes.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: So, I assume you got our email.

TAMPO: Yes, and we accept your challenge.

THE TRICKSTER: 3-on-3 fight.

TAMPO: Winner take all.

SIDEKICK BOB: We have the trigger ready to deactivate those microchips that I'm sure you are aware of.

STLUNKO: Then let us begin.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Wait... {drops a small metalic cube on the ground}

BRODY: Huh?

{As everyone watches, the cube unfolds to create a large cup shape. The Boss Trio Reloaded climb into the cup.}

SIDEKICK BOB: Project Helix: Activate!

{As the boss trio watch in awe and fear, the cup shape closes to become an enclosed sphere. A claw comes out from its bottom and attaches to the ground. The sphere elevates upward on an pole until it gets about 30 feet tall. Then the pole starts expanding to create a large body shape and the claw splits into two and grows large conveyer belt-like wheels. The mechanism continues to evolve to create a large body shape. Two arms grow out and two circular fists form on the ends. The sphere the trio were in stays in the middle of the robot's chest and then another sphere elevates itself above the machine to make a head.}

BRODY: Oh...

TAMPO: ...crap.

{The top half of the spheres in the chest, head and left hand peel away to reveal glass domes. The one in the head contains Chorch Commander, the one in the left hand contains the Trickster, and the remaining one contains Sidekick Bob. They are each wearing neural-helmets.}

TAMPO: We're doomed.

CHORCH COMMANDER: {all the Boss Trio Reloaded members' voices echo in the robot} You three will feel the wrath of Helix! And then, in accordance to the deal you made, you will turn yourselves in.

BRODY: No fair!

SIDEKICK BOB: Actually, it is perfectly fair. The deal never said we couldn't.

THE TRICKSTER: What's the matter? Too chicken?

BRODY: WE CAN STILL BEAT YOU!

{Brody charges at the giant robot, which is about twice his height.}

TAMPO: Brody! Ugh...

{Brody does a jump kick right at the robot's middle, but the robot quickly dodges to the side and Brody goes tumbling past, but quickly gets back up and runs for another try. He kicks once, twice and then three times, but is blocked by the robot's hands. Suddenly the robot falls onto Brody, punched in the back by Stlunko. Brody is on his back, the robot on his recoiled legs.}

SIDEKICK BOB: Uh oh.

{Brody pushes up with his feet and sends the robot body flying upwards into the sky. Rockets emerge from the robots "feet" and it recovers, flying high in midair. Panels on its chest rotate to reveal an array of missiles and lasers.}

TAMPO: {surprised} That's going to hurt.

BRODY: Run!

{Brody starts running away, while Tampo and Stlunko start backing up. The missiles and lasers start firing downward at them. Tampo starts shooting tons of laser balls back up, causing several explosions from missiles and lasers in midair. Some lasers and missiles hit the ground near Stlunko and Tampo, causing dirt to shoot up into the air.}

{Cut to a close up on the panel. The camera is focused on a large, charging laser gun. Several, smaller lasers and missiles are being launched all around. The charged laser releases its bright yellow, powerful beam, and the camera follows it closely. The camera pans around it to show it flying directly towards Stlunko's visor. Suddenly a gray blur fills the screen.}

{Cut to a farther shot, which reveals that Stlunko had grabbed the laser in his fist, causing his fist to glow. Stlunko opens his hand in a way so it aims back towards the giant, flying robot. The laser shoots from his hand. The camera follows it closely as it hits the weapon panel, causing electrical sparks to fly everywhere. Hit from the blast, the robot body is flung back, landing behind a hill in the distance. The camera pans to the boss trio, catching their breath and looking in the direction of where the robot body disappeared.}

BRODY: Did we win?

TAMPO: I don't know...

STLUNKO: My hand hurts.

{Suddenly a large, smoking missile shoots up from where the giant robot disappeared. It's very high up but is heading right for the trio.}

TAMPO: What the... is that a nuke?

STLUNKO: No.

TAMPO: That big, I don't think it's going to matter.

BRODY: We're gonna die. WAH!!! {starts running around in circles}

STLUNKO: No we are not.

{Stlunko grabs a large chunk of dirt and grass from the ground and quickly throws it into the air. It zooms toward the missile and hits it head on, creating a large explosion with smoke, flames, and falling dirt. Brody ducks as dirt lands on them.}

BRODY: Ugh.

{The giant robot body falls out of the large cloud of smoke and lands right amoung the trio. The shockwaves knock Brody off his feet and seem to stun Stlunko, causing his visor to fizz a little. They are on the machine's left and right. Tampo is now directly in front of the machine.}

{Cut to two SWAT robots. They are sitting on lawn chairs, watching the giant robot land far away.}

SWAT ROBOT #1: Should we intervene?

SWAT ROBOT #2: Nah, this is getting good.

SWAT ROBOT #1: Okay.

{Cut back to the six. Tampo is staring at the large weapon panel in the middle of the machine, still armed and functional. Suddenly the right head, the one on Stlunko's side, goes right over Stlunko's antenna and detaches.}

TAMPO: Stlunko, look out!

{Tampo zips toward the metal sphere and hits in head on, sending it off course}

TAMPO: Oof! That hurt...

STLUNKO: Wha-

{Stlunko is cut off as the sphere hits his back, right behind his antenna, denting the back of his body and causing him to power down. The sphere rolls off his back, and then magnetically flies up and reconnects to the arm. While this happens, Brody starts getting up. The Trickster, eyeing him carefully, aims a small laser on his sphere (he's in the robot's left hand) right at his head. The weak laser hits the surprised Brody square in the head, knocking him out.}

TAMPO: Stlunko! No!

{Tampo quickly goes around the robot and sees Brody unconscious.}

TAMPO: Not you too! {quickly} Jeez, why am I always the last one standing?

{Suddenly a metal claw grasps around Tampo. It is connected to the robot body's chest, right underneath the weapon panel. Tampo can't struggle free.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: Well, Tampo, it's game over for you.

THE TRICKSTER: And I've got some great news. You won't be going to prison with your two friends.

TAMPO: What? Why? What are you going to do?

CHORCH COMMANDER: Well, the Master says he doesn't care about your fate.

THE TRICKSTER: So we're just going to finish you off right here. Sidekick Bob, charge the laser!

SIDEKICK BOB: {quietly} Why do I have to charge the laser?

TAMPO: What? Kill me?! The Master couldn't have wanted that!

SIDEKICK BOB: Laser charging to stun power.

{A giant laser gun pops out of the weapon panel, aimed right at Tampo. It is charging.}

THE TRICKSTER: What? Stun power? We don't want that! Full power, now!

SIDEKICK BOB: I don't think the Master wants him to die. Let's just KO him and send him to jail.

THE TRICKSTER: This is no time to be arguing! Full power right now! Do it!

{Chorch Commander rolls his eyes. The Trickster and Sidekick Bob's arguement gets focused out as the camera focus on Tampo, but they are obviously fighting in the background.}

TAMPO: {mumbling to himself} Hmm... if I could aim myself just right...

{Tampo starts scooting around in the claw, slowly aiming his red section at the laser. Progress is slow as the claw is tight.}

TAMPO: {still mumbling} Now just wait for it...

{The focus switches back to the Boss Trio Reloaded.}

SIDEKICK BOB: What's the big deal? Let's just stun him...

CHORCH COMMANDER: Oh, for the love of NEB-1... stop it you guys. Manual override! Charging laser to full power... now!

{Sidekick Bob looks angry and the Trickster looks somewhat content. The laser starts glowing. Slow motion: The laser releases a big white blast of energy as Tampo fires a laserball right at it. The laserball and laser collide and a large energy burst explodes right on the robot body's chest. The robot body is flung backwards, sparks shooting out of the damaged laser gun. The claw holding Tampo broke off and released its grasp.}

CHORCH COMMANDER: Ugh... Sidekick Bob, status report.

SIDEKICK BOB: Bad news. The laser gun's damaged. It's overheating! It's gonna blow! Trickster, why didn't you just let me fire the laser?!

THE TRICKSTER: {angry} Why you-!

{Suddenly the entire robot body explodes, a safe distance away from Brody and Stlunko. A bunch of smoke blocks the view of the robot. Tampo stares at it. Brody sturs and slowly gets up.}

BRODY: {groggily} Did we lose?

TAMPO: No... I don't think so...

{The two stare at the smoke as it clears. There is a large pile of wreckage. The Trickster and Sidekick Bob are visible, unconscious and burnt. Chorch Commander floats above the wreckage, singed. His badges are gone, but his helmet is fine. His left arm seems disfunctional.}

TAMPO: Well Chorch Commander, we won. Turn off those microchips and turn yourselves in.

CHORCH COMMANDER: Never! You might have won this small battle, but we still have control over your home and your army. Overall, we haven't lost; we have won.

BRODY: But... you made a deal!

CHORCH COMMANDER: Shut up about the deal! This isn't over!

{Chorch Commander touches the star on his helmet and he, along with the Trickster and Sidekick Bob, turn white and disappear.}

BRODY: I don't get it... we won.

TAMPO: Not yet we haven't. Not yet.

BRODY: Oh. That sucks. They still broke their promise.

TAMPO: Well... they're evil. What'd you expect?

BRODY: Um... so what do we do now?

TAMPO: Go back to Saargtsson. We have to get Stlunko repaired.

BRODY: {hesitantly} Okay...

{The two get behind Stlunko and start pushing him towards the rock that marks the Lava Zone's entrance. After a few seconds, blue text appears in the sky: "Click here to email Tampo."}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the "o" in Tampo to unlock a scene with Stinkoman.
{Stinkoman is standing in an empty yellow room in his house.}
STINKOMAN: Hey, you didn't think I was going to miss out on another Tampo Email Special challenge, did you?
{Suddenly 1-Up comes in from the right.}
1-UP: Hey Stinkoman, stop breaking the fourth wall and help me defeat the army attacking our house!
{Stinkoman points to the left and the camera pans to show a plain yellow wall.}
STINKOMAN: {charges up while pointing} But this fourth wall is asking for a challenge!!!
{Stinkoman charges and breaks through the "fourth wall."}
  • Click on the leftmost building in the background to see what happened to the observing SWAT robots.
{The two SWAT robots are in the same position as they were before.}
SWAT ROBOT #1: Well, that was entertaining
SWAT ROBOT #2: Yep. I really thought that giant robot would win.
SWAT ROBOT #1: Me too.
{A large shadow appears above the two.}
SWAT ROBOT #1: Hey, look. One of those... eclipse-y thingies.
SWAT ROBOT #2: Cool.
{They are squashed from the right hand of the giant robot that flew off in the explosion.}

Fun Facts

  • This is the end of the "Revolution" plot arc.
  • You'll need to have read a lot of the last ten emails to understand exactly what's going on here.
  • Most of the early dialogue amoungs the boss trio refers to their previous adventure in Tampo Email #29: "marbles." Their later dialogue about marbles also relates to this email.
  • The HypnoSphere was first seem in "experiment."
  • Plan G is a reference to Plan G in Happy Fireworks.
  • Michelle is Dennis Dunjinman's real name.
  • The Matrix references are the names of the second and third Matrix movies: The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. "There is no spoon." is a line found in the first The Matrix move.
  • Miss Jibney is another Jibney reference.
  • This is the first time the name of the city where Stinkoman lives is revealed.
  • Tampo and Brody destroying chicken factories refers to the early Tampo Email "chickens."
  • Saargtsson sending a spy into the boss trio's midst and trying to kill them refers to "saargtsson." The spy was Zyves.
  • All the talk related to MeritPoints refers to what happened in "inspection."
  • Saargtsson calling the Gaspeau a slob refers to Other Character Email Saargtsson, where one of the main characters is a "slob" Gaspeau.
  • Chorch Commander's comment about The Boss Trio drawing comics refers to Tampo Comics.
  • Project Helix is a reference to Metroid Prime, where it was the name of one of the space pirate's projects.
  • The number of emails in Tampo's inbox refers to the actual number at the time.
  • Saargtsson's line upon seeing how many emails Tampo has is a reference to a line in the SBEmail "virus."
  • The Boss Trio Reloaded email is the second email Joshua made up. The first was answered by Trevor in "2005."
  • Tampo's question about why he's always the last one standing is a reference to Danny Phantom, who often asks questions in that context.
  • "Oh, for the love of NEB-1" is a reference to a the Jimmy Neutron episode A Beautiful Mine, where a character said "Oh, for the love of nebulon," which probably was a Homestar Runner reference.

Quick Links

This email features five hidden DVD Commentaries by Joshua and various other users.
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