Other Character Email Tampo/dark side

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Tampo Email #16: "dark side"

Summary: Tampo attempts to get 1-Up to leave the "dark side" and help fight against Stinkoman.

Cast (in order of appearance): Tampo, Zyves, Brody, Stlunko, 1-Up, Stinkoman (Easter Egg)

Places: Main Chamber, Computer Room, Holding Room, Lunar Kitchen, Stinkoman's House (Easter Egg)

Length: 120 Lines

Date: May 20th, 2005

Transcript

{Tampo is alone in the Main Chamber.}

TAMPO: Ah, my kingdom continues to flourish. Although, I have to wonder if Zyves is in trouble.

{Suddenly Zyves walks out from a corridor.}

ZYVES: Tampo!

TAMPO: Zyves! There you are! Where were you all this time?

ZYVES: Oh. I was... um... doing stuff. I'm actually a very busy duck.

TAMPO: Well, you should have let us know where you disappeared. We were worried you were in trouble.

ZYVES: You never had to worry about me. I can defeat any trouble I run up against.

TAMPO: Where did you go?

ZYVES: Well, um... I had to help defend my family from an attack. Really short-notice stuff. Had to leave right away.

TAMPO: You know, while you were away defending your family, we had battles against NEB-1, 1-Up and Trogador.

ZYVES: I missed NEB-1, 1-Up and Trogador? Bummer. Well, I'll be sticking around for a while to help you guys with any more opponents.

TAMPO: Thanks. So... you haven't ever answered an email yet, have you?

ZYVES: Uh... nope.

TAMPO: It's fun. You should try. C'mon, I'll show you.

ZYVES: Okay.

{The two leave down a corridor and the scene fades to black.}

{Fade to the SuperCom. Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are in their usual places. Zyves is standing on Stlunko's top edge, next to the antenna.}

TAMPO: Okay Zyves, this is where I sing a little email song and then open and read the email Stlunko chooses.

ZYVES: So Stlunko desides what email to use?

TAMPO: Usually. He has them on his hard drive, so he knows what each one reads.

BRODY: But he doesn't tell us. We like discovering them on our own.

STLUNKO: I usually choose one randomly.

ZYVES: Okay.

BRODY: Alright, let's begin.

TAMPO: Ahem. {singing} Email. It's like, so awesome, so cool.

{An email appears onscreen.}

Is 1-up stupid enough for you
to bring him to "the dark side"?
-SC III

TAMPO: {reading} Is 1-Up... {stops reading} Well Zyves, usually they say "Dear Tampo" or something like that.

ZYVES: I see.

BRODY: One person put "incredibly powerful beings," I think.

ZYVES: Cool, cool.

TAMPO: Yes, anyway. {finishes reading email, spells out the name} Well, SC III, {says each letter like before} 1-Up is plenty stupid for us to make him do anything, even bring him to the da- wait a second! {angry} What do you mean "dark side?" You mean make him betray Stinkoman and join us? Dark side means the evil side! Ugh, I hate the bad publicity that stupid Stinkoman game gave me! I'm going to kill those guys right now!

{Camera zooms out to a far view as Tampo storms out of the room.}

BRODY: Wait! Tampo, wait! It's no big deal!

{Tampo doesn't respond, he is already out of sight.}

ZYVES: Wh-what was that? Does he normally do that?

STLUNKO: No. That was the first time he got so violent.

BRODY: He gets emotional when it comes to being portrayed as the bad guy. He'll get over it soon. I'll go stop him. {starts to leave}

ZYVES: {thinks, then speaks} Tell him he misread the email.

BRODY: 'K. {hurryingly leaves room}

ZYVES: Alright... SuperCom. Rewrite email. Change the second "to" to "from".

{The change appears onscreen.}

STLUNKO: Good idea.

ZYVES: I know.

{Tampo reenters the room, calmed down. Brody is following close behind.}

BRODY: I'm telling ya, you misinterpreted the email.

TAMPO: It clearly called us "the dark side."

BRODY: Just reread it, okay?

TAMPO: Okay, whatever. {gets in position and reads email}

Is 1-up stupid enough for you
to bring him from "the dark side"?
-SC III

TAMPO: Oh, man. You were right! Heh, sorry about that SC, I thought you called us "the dark side." Whew. Now I'm embarrassed.

{Brody and Zyves look at each other without Tampo noticing. Zyves winks at him and Brody smiles a little. They turn back to the computer.}

TAMPO: Well, um... where was I? Eh... well SC, 1-Up is stupid enough for us to make him do anything, even leave the dark side and join us. The true question is, is he smart enough to be worth it?

BRODY: He has hidden that teleporter very well.

TAMPO: Okay, I guess it couldn't hurt to try. Alright... Brody, Stlunko, get as much pudding as you can find in our food storage and put it in the kitchen.

STLUNKO: We have tons of pudding. Literally.

BRODY: Let's go!

{Stlunko and Brody leave, taking the same path Tampo took earlier.}

TAMPO: Okay, Zyves, come with me.

ZYVES: Alright!

{Tampo and Zyves leave towards the holding cell.}

{Cut to the holding cell. 1-Up is spinkicking in the middle.}

1-UP: Wheeeeeeee!

{Suddenly a gap appears in the forcefield just big enough for Tampo and Zyves to enter. It quickly closes up behind them.}

TAMPO: Eh... 1-Up?

1-UP: {still spinkicking} Wheeeeeeee!

ZYVES: 1-Up?!

1-UP: {still spinkicking} This is fun! I'm gonna do this forever!!! Wheeeeeeee!

TAMPO: {shouts} 1-UP!!!!!!!

1-UP: {stops spinkicking, faces Tampo} Yes, master? I mean, enemy.

TAMPO: How would you like to keep on living?

1-UP: Eh, that would be nice. {sticks out foot, preparing to skinkick.}

ZYVES: How would you like a lifetime supply of pudding?

1-UP: What? {puts foot down, runs up to Zyves and Tampo} Really?

TAMPO: Sure! Pudding and more will await you... if you join us.

1-UP: Join you? Sure! Wait... {squints suspiciously at Tampo} You're those guys who hate Stinkoman, aren't you?

TAMPO: Uh... yeah.

1-UP: No thanks. Stinkoman's training me. {turns away} He's the guy! I'm gonna be the guy, too! When I'm older, anyway.

ZYVES: {clears throat} Pudding.

1-UP: {turns back around} When do I start?

ZYVES: First, eat this. {uplifts robotic wing, it has a little medal box in it}

1-UP: Ooh! Is this a pudding? {"grabs" the box and throws it into his mouth, swallows} Ugh! That wasn't pudding.

TAMPO: No, that was a modified F.O.R.C.E. You now have a small, invisible teleporting-proof forcefield around you for a few hours. Now, follow us if you want the pudding.

1-UP: Okay! I like pudding!

{A gap appears in the holding cell forcefield. The three walk through it.}

{Cut to the kitchen. There is a huge pile of brown pudding in the middle, with Brody and Stlunko nearby.}

STLUNKO: That is all of our pudding.

BRODY: Whoo. Good think you had that F.O.R.C.E. to carry them with.

STLUNKO: Yep. I hope Tampo and Zyves were successful in convincing 1-Up to join us.

{Tampo, Zyves and 1-Up enter.}

1-UP: Wow! Heaven! I mean, pudding! Pudding heaven! Wheeeeee! {jumps at pudding}

TAMPO: Stop him!

STLUNKO: Do not eat the pudding, 1-Up. {puts hand in the way}

1-UP: {smashes into hand} Oof!

TAMPO: Wait, 1-Up. If you want to have all this pudding, you'll have to leave the "dark side."

1-UP: Buh-but, that means I'll have to betray Stinkoman. He's gonna teach me to be the guy, just like him!

ZYVES: {sighs} Yes, we know.

TAMPO: Ugh. Okay, 1-Up. Don't join us. Stay on the dark side. We'll just find someone else to eat all this pudding.

1-UP: No! Wait! Stop! I'll join pudding! I mean, you! I'll join you! I like pudding!

BRODY: Ugh.

TAMPO: {shakes head} This is going to take a while...

{Scene fades to the SuperCom. The "Click here to email Tampo." popup is onscreen.}

Easter Eggs

Click on the red X in the corner of the "Email Tampo" pop-up to see what Stinkoman is doing at the time.

{Stinkoman is sitting is his house, playing video games.}

STINKOMAN: I think I better make sure 1-Up isn't trying to join the enemy again.

{A congratuations-esque music comes from the game.}

STINKOMAN: Nah. {laughs} He'd never do that. {looks at game} This game was too easy. I'm gonna go get my favorite power crunch.

{Stinkoman gets up and walks away.}

{Cut to Stinkoman's table. There is an empty place on it. Stinkoman approaches.}

STINKOMAN: {calling} Power crunch! Where are you? I'm coming to ea- {notices empty plate} Whoo-wah?! Where's my power crunch? I'm sure I left it right here! {lifts plate up, looks around} My power crunch! It's gone! {shouts into the air, upset} NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! {normal} I will find my favorite power crunch! {walks away}

Fun Facts

If you don't understand why 1-Up was locked up, read the Tampo email "attacked."
This email is continued in the following email "training."
"Ah, my kingdom continues to flourish" is a line Strong Bad used in the Strong Bad Email "i rule."
The mentioned fights against NEB-1 and 1-Up occured in the email "attacked." The one against Trogador was fought in "ten emails."
Brody's mention of them being called "incredibly powerful beings" refers to an email they opened in "ten emails."
"Dark side" is an obvious reference to Star Wars.
Stinkoman playing videogames is a reference to the the first cutscenes of levels 5 and 6 of the game Stinkoman 20X6.
Yes, the easter egg is part of the plot that will unfold in the following emails.

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