Other Character Email Nebulon/demolition

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #11: demolition

Charles tells his history, the base is demolished, and Kevin plots his first direct attack.

Date: August 14, 2005

Characters: Nebulon, Charles, Ghype, Nobulen, The Piedmont, Saargtsson, Firey-Hot, Chorch, Martha, The Liekand, Brody, An Uptant, The Shadowy Figure, Kevin, Harvax XVII

Places: Nebulon's Computer Room, Saargtson's Science Fair, The Liekand's Main Hall, Melter Room, The Liekand's Courtyard, Warehouse O' Parts, Moon, Tower Of Command

Length: 155 Lines

Transcript

{The Nebulon, Charles and Ghype are sitting at the Mechy 1337.}

NEBULON: So, if NEB-1 was split into a microchip and a box, what happened to the box?

GHYPE: I haven't heard the one before!

NEBULON: Wha- it's not a joke! It's a question!

CHARLES: You should answer an email. Just to take your mind off it.

NEBULON: When has an email led to something uneventful happening?

CHARLES: Well, we have the camera on, and it's going to bore the viewers to watch you ponder.

NEBULON: Fine. Then I will answer an... email!

{Nebulon reads the email.}

Nebulon, I found your half-brother, Nobulen.
He has a cool style. He's the coolest alien I've
ever met. He's coming to meet you right now. You'd
BETTER leave a good impression for him.

Sayo-Sham-Sam

NEBULON: I have a half brother?

CHARLES: You have a cool family member?

GHYPE: You have parents?

NEBULON: {typing} Well, I'm not sure I should trust you, Mayo. But if he really is coming to meet me...

MECHY: You have a confrence call set up.

GHYPE: Is it answerable?

MECHY: Loading...

{An image of a completely green alien like Nebulon with sunglasses appears.}

NOBULEN: Ah-hel-hel-hello, little brother and his comrades!

GHYPE: My introduction is simple and sweet! I am the great Ghype, making your day pleasant, sunny, and delight!

CHARLES: Charles. Charmed.

NEBULON: I have a brother?

NOBULEN: Well, my less than perfect brother, Mom did indeed erase your memory! I'll tell you all about the past when I get to your base.

{The call ends.}

NEBULON: Whoa. I have a brother.

CHARLES: Odd. He did not seem like your brother.

GHYPE: We have a visitor? Minions!

{The Piedmont floats in.}

THE PIEDMONT: Yes?

GHYPE: Get ready for clean and tidy! We have guests soon.

THE PIEDMONT: I, ah, will relay your orders. You do know that only I and an Uptant remain in your forces, right?

CHARLES: Do not question your work!

{The Piedmont leaves.}

NEBULON: Do you two have any family?

CHARLES: I have some minion "brothers" and "sisters".

GHYPE: Yes I do! I do!

NEBULON: Well, we all know my history, so what's yours?

CHARLES: My beginnings? My programming was built by another Chorch.

{Fade to the Lava Zone.}

SAARGSSON: Thank you, Gaspau, for your science project "How to Clean Your Quarters" that I reccommended myself. And now, we have Chorch up for "The Shortcomings of Brain Cloning When Used With Lava."

CHORCH: Thanks. As you may know, elevators around here are really slippery. So after I cloned my brain chip, I went in a run to one of the elevators. Now, I slipped, and...

FIREY-HOT: You slipped? You din't even have feet! And wouldn't you fall off if you slipped?

CHORCH: Okay, fine. I dropped the brain chip into the lava on purpose to see what would happen. It jumped out and attatched itself to me.

SAARGGSON: This science fair is really boring and I'm going home if I don't get a free gift from you.

CHORCH: {rushed} So I put the brain chip into a robot and it works, but it keeps talking about how much this place sucks. Here he is.

{Charles comes out from backstage.}

CHARLES: Are you the snake of low intellegence that trapped me here?

FIREY-HOT: This should fill Tampo's quota for now.

SAARGGSON: Yesssss, but pleaaaaase be warned: I hold grudgessssss. And alllll my enemiessss perishhhhhh. Arrrrrgggghhhh!

{The scene disappears in a wave of lava.}

NEBULON: So that was when you were sent to Tampo? When the camera was dropped in the lava?

CHARLES: No. FedEx tried to deliever the package, but they missed Tampo. Tampo now uses UPS.

GHYPE: I delieve rain or shine, brain and spine!

NEBULON: So, where did you go?

CHARLES: To the president of FedEx.

{Cut to The Liekand's base.}

THE LIEKAND: {offscreen} Martha, if you can, screen the packages for scrap metal. I need to seal this crack in the plaster.

FROTZER SECRETARY: Yes, master. Do I tell the next people to come to die?

THE LIEKAND: I keep telling you, that was only for Stinkoman!

FROTZER SECRETARY: Well, Master, you are very unclear sometimes.

{She presses a button on her desk. Eventually, a box materializes in front of her.}

FROTZER SECRTARY: Metal.

THE LIEKAND: You have something resembling arms. Bring it up here.

{One carry later...}

THE LIEKAND: Thanks, Martha. Now throw this in the melter.

MARTHA: But that's back down the stairs!

THE LIEKAND: Sorry, hamburger.

{Another carry later...}

MARTHA: Who is this so heavy? Well...

{Charles bursts out.}

CHARLES: Hello there. Were you planning to drop me in there?

MARTHA: A Chorch? Oh, we can put you to work.

CHARLES: Yes, if "we" means "me", and if "work" means "relaxation".

MARTHA: No time for breaks!

CHARLES: You really do {scratchy, rusty} not {normal} get it?

MARTHA: Would you like to work in...

{Brody kicks the door in two.}

BRODY: Interesting way of treating our shipment.

MARTHA: The Liekand did it! It was all his fault!

BRODY: You know, Tampo did mention wanting a Frotzer...

MARTHA: Here's your shipment.

BRODY: Thank you. {to Charles} Did Sarrgsson ever give you any useful information?

CHARLES: I learned how... how to spy. But why would I want to work for you?

BRODY: I'll tell you why.

{They step out.}

{Brody walks a few steps, then kicks Charles to the ground.}

BRODY: Two reasons: I saved your skin, and, uh, saved your metal, and secondly, I don't like you.

{Brody moves his foot away.}

BRODY: I assume you understand?

{Cut back to Nebulon.}

CHARLES: ...and it follows from there.

GHYPE: Nice story! I liked the part where you talked! But now it is time for mine!

NEBULON: Uh, yeah, I know that one. I shoved some parts inside you, and for some regrettable reason...

{Smashing noices are heard.}

CHARLES: What is happening?

NEBULON: I have no idea, but Mechy, fly out of here.

MECHY: Yes.

{It flies out.}

GHYPE: To the entry level! The elevator!

NEBULON: Why do we want to go near the smashing?

CHARLES: Entertainment.

{Cut to the entry chamber. The Neby trio exits the elevator.}

NOBULEN: Bro!

{He smashes more glass.}

NOBULEN: Thanks for chosing BRO demilition: the only demilition where we try to be your friend!

NEBULON: But... I never signed up for this!

NOBULEN: Must have been someone's joke!

{He smashes a support.}

CHARLES: Why are you still wrecking the base?

NOBULEN: My mom told me to never give up!

NEBULON: Stop!

GHYPE: Okay, I'll do my Emegency Jibney Procedure!

NOBULEN: ARRRRUUUUGGGHHH! NOT - THAT - WORD!

CHARLES: I hate to interrupt your confrence, but without the base support...

{The camera pans up. The roof is beginning to collapse.}

NEBULON: Run!

{All three of them run out the door.}

NOBULEN: NEVER SAY THAT WORD! {loudest} EVER!

{The base collapses, and The Piedmont escapes, carrying an Uptant.}

NEBULON: So, what do we do now?

GHYPE: We can crash at my place and pad!

NEBULON: Tampo's warehouse? That's a little unsafe, wouldn't you say?

GHYPE: No! My old place, before I was sabatoged!

CHARLES: What did you say?

GHYPE: I am capeable of saying?

NEBULON: Sure. Take us to your place.

{Fade out. The screen remains black for two seconds, and fades back in to reveal the Tower of Command. The Shadowy Figure and Harvax XVII are sitting at a three-seated table.}

THE SHADOWY FIGURE: This had better be good. Do you KNOW how many appointments I have?

KEVIN: {offscreen, fading in} Six. One next month, and five spread out over the next ten years.

HARVAX XVII: Stop. Think. I can blast you away in a second, and getting edgy will ensure your death.

{Kevin enters.}

KEVIN: Trust me. I know exactly how I can kill Nebulon. Watch this slide...

{A picture of a child waving appears.}

THE SHADOWY FIGURE: Uh huh.

KEVIN: Wrong slide, sorry.

{A picture of The Unguraits appear.}

HARVAX XVII: The Unguraits?

KEVIN: There's no image of their present day form. But The Ungermaxers have left us their contact information.

THE SHADOWY FIGURE: How are they useful?

KEVIN: Transfiguration. All of Tampo's useless spies were tempted, but The Ungermaxers want money. And we have it.

HARVAX XVII: No complicated time travel?

KEVIN: I've given up on time travel. All I keep doing is creating universes.

THE SHADOWY FIGURE: Great. You can never contact me again unless you capture Nebulon. Good day.

{He leaves. Cut to the Mechy 1337 flying.}

{The Paper falls, saying "Email Nebulon at nebymail@nebulon.com!"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the label that says "Mechy" to see:

SAARGTSSON: Did FedEx ever send us a "sent" notice?

FIREY-HOT: No, but we've won a tropical getaway.

Fun Facts


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