Other Character Email Nebulon/frontin

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #27: frontin'

Nebulon is without a computer, so Stlunko checks his email, then calls a meeting to discuss Nebulon's shortcomings.

Date: July 18, 2008

Cast: Stlunko, Tampo, The Liekand, An Ice Machine, Bruno

Places: Stlunko, Coasts of Australia, Pagoda

Length: 121 Lines

Background Info

Nebulon has sold his computer to Stlunko to make money. Previously, Nebulon has featured the character in Other Character Email Trogador in a cameo, yet this may have just been a dream sequence.

Transcript

{Stlunko is sitting in the middle of a field with the Neby.}

STLUNKO: I shouldn't have tricked Nebulon like that. But this is a really cool computer! It's got more RAM than I can shake a fist at. I mean, the color scheme is a little off-putting, but I could fix this up.

{He presses a few buttons with the fists.}

STLUNKO: All he has is email? Must be another Strong Bad fan, trying to leech money off of his success. Again.

{He opens an email, and reads it aloud.}

Sup Nebs,
Yo man, why you all gotta be frontin?
Leave the real stuff to the players, busta.
Don't come round my set anymore,
you step-headed redchild.
Definately not frontin,
OG Trog

STLUNKO: "OG Trog"? Are you like a reference to some literature I haven't read yet? But if Nebulon's frontin', I guess I gotta tell everyone. And I just wanted to hang out and listen to The Cure...

{Fade out. Fade in again, with Tampo, The Liekand, An Ice Machine, and Bruno sitting on Stlunko.}

STLUNKO: Aw, this is the worst turnout for months. And he's not even a boss!

{Stlunko points to Bruno.}

BRUNO: Maybe, but I have inner knowledge of Nebs!

STLUNKO: I guess that's okay. Where's Brody?

TAMPO: He's not coming anywhere near me!

STLUNKO: Saargtsson?

THE LIEKAND: I haven't heard from that guy in years.

STLUNKO: Of course Nebulon wouldn't be in our club... how about Ekersby?

AN ICE MACHINE: Do you realize what a chore it is to move him?

STLUNKO: {losing hope} Harvax?

TAMPO: On vacation?

STLUNKO: And where has Z gone?

AN ICE MACHINE: He's disappeared. Haven't heard from him in a month.

STLUNKO: Are we really that boring? Maybe Nebulon's just frontin' them away.

TAMPO: Is that really why you called us here?

STLUNKO: That's it, I guess. Oh! And someone named OG Trog may be frontin' too.

THE LIEKAND: Oh yeah, he's actually Trogador. But that's pretty obvious.

BRUNO: Maybe he can help us unfront Nebulon!

STLUNKO: Tampo, who is this guy?

TAMPO: He's an ex-accomplice of Nebulon. He gave me all of Nebulon's chickens in the closet.

STLUNKO: Well, I guess that's--

TAMPO: SKELETONS! I mean, uh, skeletons in the closet. Want to hear my new bass--

THE LIEKAND: No one has ever, or will ever, want to hear a bass anything.

AN ICE MACHINE: How about a Chilly Sea Bass?

STLUNKO: Does anyone actually know this Trogador guy?

BRUNO: He gave Nebulon a phone call once!

STLUNKO: Really? What did he say?

BRUNO: Uh, "stop frontin', you stupid alien."

STLUNKO: Aw, I already know that. Anyone else?

THE LIEKAND: Yeah, he's got this really annoying sidekick. "Looper Lamb" they call him.

AN ICE MACHINE: Some say he was once a great person, who lots of people appreciated. Yet he was consumed with an evil power. Now he has regressed to a three word vocabulary: "epic", "fail", and shoving the picture of this smiling orange faced man to people.

TAMPO: Yeah, he was a groupie once, and he was really really annoying. He even ran up on stage during one of my solos and shoved that picture in my face!

STLUNKO: Is it possible that someone so annoying could exist?

BRUNO: Oh yeah! That guy would really annoy Nebulon!

STLUNKO: All right! You four, go capture this Lamb. I am going to sit in here and eat 30 pudding pops.

{The four leave. Stinkoman walks in.}

STINKOMAN: Hey, Strong Sad? Are you asking for a CHALLENGE? AGAIN?

STLUNKO: Stinkoman, I told you to use my cyborg name!

STINKOMAN: I'm gonna take that as a yes! Hyah!

STLUNKO: Aw, not again!

{He raised his fists half-heartedly. Cut to an open field, in which Tampo is lying upside down and the other three are standing next to him.}

TAMPO: How is an overgrown refridgerator so heavy

AN ICE MACHINE: Sorry there, Tampo. So why exactly does Mr. Lamb here live all the way across the sea?

BRUNO: Well, according to this map, this is "Ayustraileeah". I guess Lamb was exiled here because of how annoying he was.

TAMPO: Hey, I thought he worked for Trogador!

THE LIEKAND: Maybe for a little bit, but can you imagine living with that guy?

AN ICE MACHINE: Honestly, I don't really want to meet him.

BRUNO: Yeah, uh, maybe Nebs will actually like him.

TAMPO: Yeah, don't want to meet him.

THE LIEKAND: Let's go see Trogador instead! Go get that oversized fridge again, and I'll give this little runt a ride.

BRUNO: Nebs never called me a runt!

TAMPO: Hey, this guy is heavy! Why don't you carry him this time?

AN ICE MACHINE: It's probably like a blender in there. No thanks.

{He hops on Tampo.}

TAMPO: You're crushing my vital organ!

THE LIEKAND: Cry me a river. Oh wait, you can't, because you don't have eyes!

{Everyone else shares a laugh. Cut back to Stlunko.}

STINKOMAN: And that! And that! And you better be ready because this one's going to finish you!

STLUNKO: It usually does!

{Stinkoman makes the final shot, and Stlunko's antenna descends.}

STINKOMAN: Y'know, my favorite part of this game is when I win!

STLUNKO: You broke my John Cage recordings!

STINKOMAN: Ah ha ha ha! Strong Sad listens to bad music! Ha ha ha!

{Cut back to the bosses who are standing outsid of a pagoda. Tampo is on top of An Ice Machine.}

THE LIEKAND: So you're sure that he's in here?

AN ICE MACHINE: Are you doubting the power of MapQuest?

BRUNO: Maybe I should go in first.

THE LIEKAND: Why? So you can BETRAY us? Huh?

BRUNO: No, no, check this out. Okay, so I go in there, right? And I tell the guy there that I am Nebs' best buddy, right?

AN ICE MACHINE: To the guy who hates Nebulon?

BRUNO: Hear me out! But then I say that I'm also a tax collector, and he's a little late on his taxes, right? That's when we reveal that he doesn't have any children after all!

AN ICE MACHINE: No, let's go in together.

BRUNO: All right, Icey, whatever.

{They enter. Tampo recovers consiousness.}

THE LIEKAND: Mr. Dragon?

TAMPO: Anyone home?

VOICE: Who DARES disturb the great Trogador?

TAMPO: {weakly} A pink Astromund, a boring wind guy, a really heavy fridge, and the BEST BASS PLAYER EVER!

VOICE: Whoa, is that Tampo? From the Brains?

TAMPO: You recognigze me?

VOICE: Recogignize? I have all the Brains albums, all of your solo albums, the demos, and the hip-hop album you did!

TAMPO: {stunned} I... I want to give you a hug!

{He floats upstairs.}

THE LIEKAND: Tampo has fans?

AN ICE MACHINE: Believe me, I'm surprised too.

BRUNO: He must have really wanted a better member of the band.

{They wait for a few more moments, but nothing happens.}

VOICE: Hey, anyone heard that sunglasses are going out of style?

THE LIEKAND: They are not!

VOICE: Oh, yeah, they are actually. I have this fashion magazine that says so! Oh, and pink polka dots are all the rage, too...

{The Liekand runs upstairs.}

AN ICE MACHINE: I think I see where this is going.

BRUNO: Yeah, me too. We should go check it out!

AN ICE MACHINE: I was thinking more "get out of here."

VOICE: Hey, did you know the stock market it opening up again? I have some stocks here, but I'm not sure what these ticker symbols mean...

AN ICE MACHINE: To finance!

{He runs up the stairs, and the camera cuts to him opening up the door and holding it open. Tampo and The Liekand exit.}

TAMPO: Hey, there's no one up here! And that door locks from the outside for some reason.

THE LIEKAND: I told you it was one building over!

AN ICE MACHINE: Hey Bruno, why don't you do that cool voice again?

BRUNO: What are you talking about? Of course I wasn't trying to lock you all in there using ventriloquism!

AN ICE MACHINE: Throw him in there!

{The Liekand runs over him and flings him into the room. Tampo closes the door.}

TAMPO: What a jerk. I thought he was my friend.

THE LIEKAND: And that's why we don't bring outsiders to meetings!

{Cut back to Stlunko.}

STLUNKO: {typing} So Trog, I guess Nebulon may have been frontin'. But who cares? I'm just glad I didn't run into that Lamb guy. He could be even more annoying than Stinkoman!

STINKOMAN: {offscreen} Are you ready for another challenge?

STLUNKO: I guess I gotta go. Well, you guys should probably email Nebulon, and not me. I think that's what he'd say.

{The Paper falls, saying "Email Nebulon at nebymail@nebulon.com!}

Fun Facts

  • John Cage is an avant-garde artist, known for being very arty with his music.
  • Looper Lamb is an affectionate parody of Super Sam. Don't hate me, Super Sam!


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