Other Character Email Nebulon/worst email ever

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Summary

Nebulon Email #23: "worst email ever"

Nebulon recieves the worst email ever, and in response decides to treat it in kind.

Date: July 4, 2008

Cast: Nebulon, Charles, Bruno, Drew, Clyde, Kray, John, Trogador (easter egg)

Places: Nebulon's Computer Room, Trogador's Lair (easter egg)

Length: 70 Lines

Transcript

{Nebulon, Charles, and Bruno are sitting at the Neby.}

BRUNO: So, Nebs--

NEBULON: Email rocks, and I have a full inbox!

CHARLES: Did you just think of that one?

NEBULON: Yes, thank you, and the correct response was to sit quietly and appreciate it.

{He brings an email up.}

Random email account user,
I shall shower nougat upon your first-born son.
-David Coppafeel

{Nebulon reads the email in a distant tone, then looks at the email.}

NEBULON: It's finally happened.

CHARLES: What, have you been cancelled? Again?

NEBULON: No, it's worse than that.

BRUNO: What's wrong, Nebs?

NEBULON: I've finally recieved the worst email ever.

BRUNO: C'mon, it's can't be--

NEBULON: It's a complete non-sequiter. It's randomness for the sake of being random.

CHARLES: I will alert the presses.

NEBULON: It contains a pun which fits into no context. It offers no oppertunity to be answered.

BRUNO: You just gotta be creative!

NEBULON: You want to see creative? How about you, David, whoever you are? You think it's funny sending me the worst email ever? Well, I'm going to give you the worst answer ever.

{The email starts over, in monochrome.}

NEBULON: Hey guys, I'm going to check my email.

Random email account user,
I shall shower nougat upon your first-born son.
-David Coppafeel

NEBULON: {begins to laugh hysterically}

BRUNO: Nebulon, that email is very funny! I don't like your style!

CHARLES: Yeah Nebs: or should I call you NEB-1 like my favorite email show Other Character Email Tampo, which is a very funny show that I like a lot, what a funny email that is! And what a bad style you have!

NEBULON: We have a cameo appearance today! Say hello to all of Trogador's buddies from Other Character Email Trogador!

BRUNO: How do you do those cool links in your speech? I love Fake Character Email Bruno! It's not working.

{John, Kray, Drew, and Clyde all enter.}

NEBULON: Hi gus! Nougat sure is a funny word, huh?

GRATUITOUS CAMEO CAST: {bored} Yup.

NEBULON: Just imagine the scene that David pictures for us!

{A thought bubble appears above Nebulon's head. The thought bubble is round, but slightly curved at the edges. It is traced in a black outline, and smaller of these descend to Nebulon. The thought bubble depicts a Jaro on a ladder that is maximum strength, and is labeled so. The alloy consists of 80% iron, 15% molybdenum, 4% titanium, and 1% assorted minerals. There is a fairly large bucked at the top of this ladder. It contains about 33.546 gallons of nougat. Below this ladder is what looks to be a smaller version of Nebulon: perhaps his first born? I don't like apples. The Jaro knocks the bucket over, knocking the noughat onto the smaller Nebulon. At this moment, the thought bubble begins to dissipate, and Nebulon is left with a smile on his face.}

GRATUITOUS CAMEO CAST: {bored} Yup.

NEBULON: That sure was a good email, wasn't it? Thanks, Dave!

{Cut back to full-colored Nebulon.}

NEBULON: Yeah, thanks Dave. I liked our David better. Why'd you have to go and shoot him?

CHARLES: It was so I could fit in.

NEBULON: Yeah, no. He was cooler than you too.

BRUNO: {pale(r than usual)} What is it is him?

NEBULON: Nah, David's last name was probably like "Botterson", not {distastfully} "Coppafeel."

BRUNO: Maybe it's a pseudonym, and he wants us to - stay with me here - he wants us to toss and turn every night wondering if he sent this email. It really is the worst email ever!

CHARLES: You have actually managed to be more paranoid than Nebulon.

NEBULON: Whoa, I'm not paranoid! When was the last time I was paranoid?

BRUNO: You did insist on exorcising all the Astromunds in case there was the spirit of your lost cat in one of them.

NEBULON: Yeah, but one of them said that he was the demon spirit of my cat so I had reasonable suspicion.

BRUNO: Well, if you get to do that, I get to hire someone to channel David so I can make my peace.

CHARLES: Good idea. I will also need someone to remove my demons too.

NEBULON: Do you have any demons?

CHARLES: No, but I like to waste your money.

NEBULON: Well, I'm not hiring any more exorcists because I still owe them 1.4 million Galactabucks.

BRUNO: Then I'll never make my peace.

NEBULON: Good for you. How about you, Charles? How do you think this is the worst email?

CHARLES: I think it isn't any worse than your other terrible emails.

NEBULON: You have to think of something. I'm treading water during crucial email time, and I need you to get me out of this water. Do you follow?

CHARLES: It inspires bad metaphors. Is that good enough?

NEBULON: Yeah, but I always do that. Pick something else. Find a disturbing anagram. Give credence to my proposal!

CHARLES: This is the worst email.

NEBULON: {annoyed} Yes, Charles, I was aware, I'd just like to know why.

CHARLES: {also annoyed} Because it annoys Grand Master Nebulon, and anything that annoys him also annoys me.

NEBULON: Hey, that works!

BRUNO: Does anyone want to help me with my crippling emotional issues?

NEBULON: Not really.
CHARLES: {simultaneously} No.

{They sit in silence for a few seconds. The Paper falls, saying "Email Nebulon at nebymail@nebulon.com!"}

NEBULON: Shouldn't I type something in closure?

BRUNO: Nah, you should really make it be the worst email ever.

NEBULON: Good idea!

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Nebulon to see the following scene:

TROGADOR: What have I told you about being guest stars?

DREW: He did give us a lot of money.

TROGADOR: And where is everyone else?

DREW: Uh, they hung around. I don't know what they're doing.

{Cut to Ekersby's room, where they are all sitting on the couch.}

EKERSBY: Ze most important thing, da, is your inner tensions. You are all wound tighter zan zis ball of string!

Fun Facts


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