Other Character Email Nebulon/party

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #29: "party"

Nebulon attempts to get to a party while Tampo tries to stop him.

Date: July 30, 2008

Cast: Nebulon, Charles, Tampo, Greggo, Jaro, Bruno, Grundy

Places: Nebulon's Computer Room, Jail, Airport, Pagoda

Length: 129 Lines

Previously on Nebulon Emails

  • Nebulon recieved 20 million Galactabucks in royalties. (shopping)
  • Nebulon's new computer is extremely sarcastic. (shopping)
  • Tampo is in jail for the murder of 500 Grundies. (shopping)
  • After trying to kill An Ice Machine, The Liekand, and Tampo, Bruno was trapped in a pagoda room. (frontin')
  • Nebulon stole An Ice Machine's spaceship. (real estate)

Transcript

{Nebulon and Charles are sitting in front of the Mechy.}

NEBULON: So I finally disabled that personality chip.

CHARLES: That computer was such a bore to argue with. Far too easy.

NEBULON: I guess I'm just too quick witted for you, huh?

CHARLES: Well, you see, this parabola illustrates the ease to argue--

NEBULON: Never mind, then. So check it, check it--

CHARLES: What are you doing?

NEBULON: Glad you asked! I'm checking my email.

{The email appears onscreen.}

Nebs,
I am having a party this weekend,
Would you show up?
I think it would be cool is you showed up,
to my party!
FROM Bluebry

CHARLES: Didn't this guy just send you an email?

NEBULON: Maybe he liked my response so much he sent another one!

CHARLES: Yes, that must be it.

NEBULON: So a party, eh? I've been to quite a few parties in my life...

CHARLES: When?

NEBULON: Well, uh, all through my life.

CHARLES: Who invites you to parties?

NEBULON: I'll have you know I partied all day in college.

CHARLES: Really. Where did you go?

NEBULON: Well, it's a little known school with a very good history--

CHARLES: So a community college, then?

NEBULON: You and your intellectual types. Where did you go to college, huh?

CHARLES: I have the complete library of MIT programmed into my central structure.

NEBULON: Look who thinks he's so smart.

CHARLES: Actually, I'm just as dumb as you. {mocking Nebulon} So an email, eh? I guess I'll just check it look guys I am a rapper--

NEBULON: I get the point, okay? But college was fun. So were the parties.

CHARLES: I find it hard to believe that anyone invited you do parties.

NEBULON: You said that already. Maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are!

CHARLES: You still haven't answered my question.

NEBULON: The trick about parties is that if you go to one you're invited to, it's uncool. But a rube like you wouldn't get that, would you?

CHARLES: Did you honestly just use the word "rube"?

NEBULON: Maybe I did. So Bluebry, I'm afraid it would be extremely uncool to go to your party. Any other parties I haven't been invited to?

CHARLES: Has anyone ever, in the history of the world, ever called you "cool?"

NEBULON: Well, there was this one time...

{Cut to a sepia coloring of Charles.}

CHARLES: Nebulon is very cool.

{Cut back to normal coloring.}

CHARLES: Wasn't that when you were locked in An Ice Machine's cave?

NEBULON: You always have to look on the negative side, huh?

CHARLES: Well, it's in your best interests. No Girlulon wants to date a Dorkulon.

NEBULON: Oh, please tell me about your romantic adventures.

CHARLES: Are you joking? I am the world's most desirable Chorch. Maybe if you went to this party you could learn the art of seduction as well as I.

NEBULON: Maybe I will go, but I'll have to go under a false name. Otherwise I'll be uncool.

CHARLES: How about "Defulon"? How about "Doesn'tlistentocharlesulon"? How about "Cheryl"?

NEBULON: Ooh, that last one sounds pretty nice. So I guess I should get ready to go to this vague party. I'll go get dressed!

{Fade out. Cut to Tampo, in a jail cell.}

TAMPO: ...lousy murder charges... mumble grumble... Grundy police...

{Greggo walks outside the jailcell.}

GREGGO: Hey, uh, bassist.

TAMPO: If you'd like to hear my smooth bass stylings, I didn't bring my bass.

GREGGO: Uh, yeah, we have something to tell you. We don't feel you fit into our band experience.

TAMPO: What did you say?

GREGGO: Yeah, it's just that, well, all of the audience leaves during your twenty minute bass solos.

TAMPO: I can extend them! You don't have to fire me.

GREGGO: Yeah, well, we're movingin a different direction. We're going to be a bluegrass band now, so I guess we can't fit a bass player.

TAMPO: I have some good grooves through!

GREGGO: Yeah, uh, sorry. Maybe you should go solo.

TAMPO: Can't we talk about this? How about if I do banjo? Mandolin?

GREGGO: Look, I've gotta go. I have to attend a party. Since you were in jail, I gave your invite to that one guy Nebulon. He was sorta cool.

TAMPO: But Nebulon's so uncool! He's probably going some come up with some stupid fake name for himself!

GREGGO: Ooh, girls do love the mysterious guys.

TAMPO: There's girls there?

GREGGO: Uh, I think so. Well, see you later! Hopefully never though.

{He leaves.}

TAMPO: Nebulon's going to get all the girls while I rot in jail? Not if I can help it! I'm going to establish some plan to bust me out of here! Hey guard!

{A Jaro wearing a police uniform approaches.}

JARO: What is it now, Tampo?

TAMPO: I want my phone call!

JARO: Uh, yeah, I'll get right on that.

{Cut to Nebulon, wearing a suit.}

NEBULON: I don't think you were invited.

CHARLES: I'll hide in one of your many scalefolds.

NEBULON: And what can you do from there?

CHARLES: Admiring your myriad skin diseases.

NEBULON: Most of those are gone!

CHARLES: I'll give you some lady advice too. Are you happy?

NEBULON: How come I've never seen any of your girlfriends?

CHARLES: Have you ever let me leave this base?

NEBULON: What about Karen, the female Astromund?

CHARLES: You mean the schizophrenic Astromund who thinks he is possessed by an evil spirit called Karen?

NEBULON: You should have at least made a move. Ready to go?

CHARLES: I believe you are the one who insisted on a thirty minute break to bathe in cologne.

NEBULON: I'll take that as a yes.

{Cut to a pagoda.}

BRUNO: ...so hungry... all Nebs' fault... locked in room... want a sandwich...

{A cellphone rings. He answers it, and a splitscreen appears with Tampo on one side, who is in a prison with a lot of screaming and chaos, and Bruno on the other.}

TAMPO: Bruno? Listen there, buddy, I don't have much time, but, uh, Nebulon was invited to a party, and, oh, excuse me. {yelling} Yo, Chorch, they keep the guns in the other closet! {back to the phone} Yeah, there's girls there, and I think it's our duty to make sure he doesn't get there.

BRUNO: ...need food...

TAMPO: I knew you'd agree. So I'll be there around six. Oh, make sure to eat dinner first, because I don't know if they'll be anything to eat at the party.

BRUNO: ...guhh...

TAMPO: Okay then, see you later!

{He hangs up. Cut to an airport.}

CHARLES: Don't you have your own private spaceship?

NEBULON: Oh, that. It melted.

CHARLES: But don't you have a whole bunch of money?

NEBULON: Yeah, but today we are going to use the airport and that is that.

{He walks up to the Grundy clerk.}

NEBULON: One round-trip flight to "Bluebry's party", please.

GRUNDY: Mmm. For someone of your size, we'll need you to buy sixteen seats.

NEBULON: Are you calling me fat?

GRUNDY: Incredibly so, sir. Also we need one for your talking scalefold there. Company policy, you see.

NEBULON: I don't appreciate being told I'm fat.

GRUNDY: Nonetheless, the fact remains that you are. Also your style is fairly terrible.

NEBULON: You won't like me when I'm angry.

GRUNDY: Sir, there are other people in line, so please buy the seats for your repulsize girth.

NEBULON: NEBUSMASH!

{Nothing happens.}

NEBULON: I mean NEBUWIND!

{He blows wind towards the Grundy, who appears unfazed.}

GRUNDY: Would you like to pay in cash or credit?

NEBULON: Come on, talking scalefold, we're getting out of here. We're going home!

GRUNDY: Thanks for visiting Air K: the airline that has so many flights, we'd be crazy to let aliens on!

{Cut to the pagoda, where Bruno is lying unconsious on the floor. Tampo walks in.}

TAMPO: Hey, wake up! We need to go to that party!

{He tosses a laser ball at Bruno, which makes him turn over.}

TAMPO: Where's the party spirit? We're going to pick up females of questionable existence!

BRUNO: ...ungh...

TAMPO: You aren't much of a party animal.

BRUNO: ...water...

TAMPO: Yeah, I remember the first time I had a night of Cold Ones with the guys. Hey, are you gonna get up, or what?

{Cut back to Nebulon at the Mechy with Charles.}

NEBULON: Well, that went absolutely nowhere.

CHARLES: Perhaps we learned something today, like how skilled I am at picking up women and how obese you are.

NEBULON: I did learn about my secret powers when I become angry.

CHARLES: Don't you have those all the time?

NEBULON: Oh no, I think this is a new type of superpower. {typing} Well, Deep Blue, I'm afraid I'm much too cool to attend your party where there may or may not be females. Feel free to direct them to Nebulon's base, though. They know where to find me. And if I'm not here, they can always email me.

{The Paper falls, saying "Email Nebulon at nebymail@nebulon.com!"}

Fun Facts

  • "You won't like me when I'm angry," and "NEBUSMASH" are both references to The Incredible Hulk.
  • Obese people are often required to buy two seats on an aeroplane.
  • Bluebry also sent the recent email sitcom.
  • Deep Blue is the chess computer that beat chess legend Gary Kasparov.


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