Other Character Email Nebulon/comic

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #20: "comic"

When Nebulon makes a comic with a style everyone likes, he becomes too famous for his own good. Also bass players are lame.

Date: June 30, 2008

Cast: Nebulon, David, Bruno, Tampo, Reporter, Greggo, Chorch, Astromunds

Places: Nebulon's Base, The Front of Nebulon's Base

Length: 89 Lines

Trancript

{Nebulon is sitting in front of the Neby.}

NEBULON: Guys, today I've invited a very special guest to join us on my famed email show. You might know whim as the bassist for everyone's favorite rock band, Greggo and the Brains. Everyone, give a hand for Tampo!

{David and Bruno, two astromunds, give lukewarm applause, while Nebulon applauds enthusiastically. Tampo floats in and sits beside Nebulon.}

DAVID: You aren't a talk show, you know. I guess.

TAMPO: I hear this email show is pretty popular!

NEBULON: Well, yeah. But not nearly as rockin' as your bass playing!

TAMPO: Yeah, I guess I do have some pretty good basslines. Have you heard "Brody Got Ba--"

NEBULON: But enough about you. Now on to me!

{Tampo looks annoyed as Nebulon brings up the email.}

Dear Nebulon,

I think you should get away from the
complicated time travel and
killing tampo plots for one email,
and do something normal instead.
You should try making a comic.
I bet you could do way better
than two nintendo characters could.

Waiting in line to be your friend,
Kire Zepol,

TAMPO: You want to kill me?

NEBULON: I don't know what you're talking about, Kyzy. I've had two emails and neither are about time travel or killing Tampo. Tampo's my hero!

TAMPO: I do rock the bass!

NEBULON: Yeah, that you do. Oh, and on the "Things I Don't Get", what comic did two Nintendo characters do?

TAMPO: Yeah, what's Nintendo anyway?

NEBULON: Some comic publishing company, I guess. Now, onto the point that made sense: I should make a comic.

TAMPO: He also wants to be your friend.

NEBULON: Oh yeah, but he's like a lunatic that spews incomprehensible pieces of information. He can be no friend of mine.

TAMPO: Yeah, I know. I had this friend once who played the mandolin and he kept talking about "frets" and "strings" and it was like he didn't understand the music at all. I just want to rock the bass, man.

NEBULON: Uh, yeah, we have this point across already. So I can draw a comic. I think I have a bit of artistic talent.

TAMPO: So do I. Did you see our latest album cover? Well, it's pretty--

NEBULON: Hey, uh, Tampo? I don't think this is working out.

TAMPO: What do you mean?

NEBULON: Well, uh, David here was right. This isn't a talk show. This is my show. And I don't really care about the bass.

BRUNO: Yeah, no one cares about the bassist.

TAMPO: B-but... you invited me on to talk about the bass...

NEBULON: No, I invited you on so you could help me answer emails.

TAMPO: Yeah, well, no one care about you! See how well you do without my star power!

{Tampo leaves, dripping.}

DAVID: You made him cry. I guess.

BRUNO: You're a pretty big jerk, Nebs, I gotta say.

NEBULON: Yeah, well, he's a jerk for playing the bass. Anyway, a comic. Well, of course any comic would have to star me, Nebulon.

{He draws a crude approximation of himself, similar to PBTC style.}

NEBULON: And now we just have to think of something witty for me to say, like, ah, "Tampo is the bass of obscurity."

BRUNO: Yeah, I wouldn't do that. What if Tampo sues you for libel?

DAVID: You'd be in big trouble. I guess.

NEBULON: What's wrong with it? It's topical. It's a {chuckles} good pun. And I like it! And other people will too, I bet. Maybe I'll even send it to a publishing company!

BRUNO: A one panel comic?

NEBULON: Yeah. I'm a regular Gary Larson, except this is even better than The Far Side.

BRUNO: The Family Circus is better than this! You'll be placed in that part of the newspaper where they hide Darmamuke, Chester the Mo--

NEBULON: Well, I think it's cool.

{He stuffs the comic inside an envelope. A sign appears, saying "One Week Later." Cut to a Chorch reporter.}

REPORTER: Fans are going crazy today to meet the mastermind behind the up-and-coming comic Nebulon: Nebulon! Nebulon is a new cartoonist whose wit impresses all!

JARO: Nebulon's wit is hilarious. My favorite is the one where someone has flowers for a head and Nebulon says "Put your head in a face." I think there's something to to with a vase here!

REPORTER: In honor of this event, Greggo and the Brains will be playing a short set before Nebulon signs some autographs.

GREGGO: This one goes out to our best friend, Nebulon. Hit it, Grundy!

{The band is on a stage. They begin to play.}

GREGGO: Nebulon you are so cool / You really really really rule / My best friend was not as cool as you / Her name was Anna Sue

{Zoom out to reveal Nebulon is watching this on television.}

NEBULON: I don't trust them. I bet Tampo is hiding a bomb on that stage. It's okay though, I have a plan.

BRUNO: Oh, I know! You should time travel to right before you got that email, and kill Tampo!

NEBULON: Actually my plan was just to have you go out there and ask that singer if they have a bomb.

BRUNO: And why will he tell me the truth?

NEBULON: You're going to ask nicely. Now go and I'll get you a shiny new laser.

BRUNO: That's a deal!

{He runs offscreen. Cut to the stage. Tampo is playing a long bass solo, while the other members of the band are falling asleep. Bruno runs onstage.}

BRUNO: Hey, uh, Greggo?

GREGGO: Hey, you aren't allowed up here!

BRUNO: No, it's okay, I just want to know if you guys have a bomb. Nebulon's a little paranoid.

GREGGO: I can safely assure you, my good pink Astromund, that there is no bomb on this stage.

TAMPO: Why does Nebulon think there's a bomb?

BRUNO: I don't know. It might have something to do with your temper being shorter than a reasonable bass solo.

TAMPO: What are you talking about?

BRUNO: Did you even read Nebulon's comic?

TAMPO: No, I just used this event to get some publicity.

BRUNO: Well, I think you should take a look at this.

{He hands a copy of the comic to Tampo. He reads it.}

TAMPO: I don't get it. What's a bass {pronounces with short a} of obscurity?

ASTROMUND: Hey, that cool bass player said he didn't get the comic!

SECOND ASTROMUND: That means the comic isn't cool anymore!

CHORCH: Let's get out of here!

ALL: Yeah!

{Everyone except Bruno and a group of Astromunds wearing sunglasses leaves. Nebulon appears on the stage cam.}

NEBULON: Hey, everyone left on TV. Where'd they go?

BRUNO: No one popular likes your comic, so you're back to being unpopular Nebulon again. Can I have my laser now?

NEBULON: Well, I guess it all goes to show that everyone only gets 15 seconds of fame, like everyone discovers when they become famous in a TV show. Perhaps this experience will lead me to agreater understanding on myself {brightens suddenly} and lead you to send me an email!

{The Paper falls, saying "Email Nebulon at nebymail@nebulon.com!"}

BRUNO: Hey, this is a pretty abrupt ending--

NEBULON: Do you think a witty sort of pun will make it easier to end?

BRUNO: Actually, it'll probably just make me nauseous.

NEBULON: Then you'll never be able to get a head in life!

{Both of them laugh.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on Nebulon to hear the conversation between the sunglassed Astromunds.

ASTROMUND THREE: I can't do it! They're just too terrible to even like ironically!

ASTROMUND FOUR: The worse it is, the cooler it is to like it! Come on, let's go inside and play Big Rigs 20X6.

Fun Facts

  • Whoever sent this email is referencing early Nebulon emails, which were plot-heavy pieces that revolved around killing Tampo.
  • Nebulon mentions The Far Side by Gary Larson, one of the most popular single panel comics of all time.
  • Darmamuke is a spoonerism of Marmaduke, an unfunny one pannel comic.
  • Bass players are well known to be very boring.
  • All of Nebulon's puns, except the first one, make no sense, so don't try and break your brain and figure them out.


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