Other Character Email Nebulon/chomp

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #6: chomp

Nebulon decides to anger 1-Up randomly, for a break.

Date: July 18, 2005

Characters: Nebulon, Charles, Megaxe, Mechy, The Liekand, 1-Up, Pan-Asian Cuisine Man

Places: Nebulon's Base, 1-Up's Kitchen, The Liekand's Base

Length: 104 Lines

Transcript

{Nebulon, Charles, and Megaxe are at the Neby.}

CHARLES: I do not approve of this, but since I removed your offending program, you may stay for one email.

MEGAXE: Thanks. I have a degree on email answering.

NEBULON: {grumpily} You could have kept the programming in...

CHARLES: That would be a very unpleasant email for us all.

NEBULON: Well, okay, Megaxe. So, this is usually where I argue with Charles. Then I say a sentence having something to do with email...

MEGAXE: Like "Email will mail my friends and cousins?"

{An email appears. Nebulon reads it.}

CHARLES: And yes, all of it is hatemail.

NEBULON: Well... Michael asked my history once!

CHARLES: And he also called you "NEB-1", if you recall. Oh, and that email sucked as well.

MEGAXE: Does the bickering usually continue this long?

NEBULON: Usually much longer. So, that wasn't really a question you asked there, no one...

MEGAXE: So, shouldn't we delete it?

CHARLES: Yes. You'll realize Nebulon here must point out every single obvious fact. And not pick them up until we've said things about them. So, I will make the first deletion. Deleted.

NEBULON: Whoa, you think this thing can delete things?

{Everyone incredulously stares at him.}

NEBULON: Well, I built it myself...

CHARLES: That explains a lot of things...

{Megaxe shoots the computer.}

NEBULON: What was that for?

MEGAXE: Forgive me, Master Nebulon, but Charles sent me a mental command.

NEBULON: But- wha? You work for me, not Charles?

CHARLES: You'll find this contract interesting. You might want to save it for bedtime reading, though...

{Charles hands a piece of paper to Nebulon.}

NEBULON: "Signer hearby obeys Chorch Prototype 002 - C842135 above previous recognised athority..." But...

CHARLES: There is not a single loophole in that contract. I am positive.

NEBULON: I'll find one anyway! Anyway, I need a new computer...

MEGAXE: I have a catalog...

NEBULON: No, I can build another...

{Nebulon's hands are shot again.}

CHARLES: Forgive me. That was uncalled for, given the circumstances.

NEBULON: Yes! It was!

CHARLES: There are better places to shoot if you plan to make a computer again. I think this computer looks practical, do you not?

{Nebulon looks at the catalog.}

NEBULON: But I could build something like that!

CHARLES: Yes, but it is extremly unpleasant to ransack Tampo's warehouse for spare parts. You would think if you hated him so badly, you would not rely on him.

MEGAXE: I ordered the computer. Accoreding to the helpful site, it'll be here in 6 - 8 seconds!

NEBULON: Really? That's quick for PPS. So...

{The new computer drops from the sky. It is shining, and already on to the email prompt.}

NEBULON: So, does this computer have any features?

COMPUTER: I am the Mechy 1337. I can do anything, as long as I download the nessary components.

MEGAXE: That's quite a strong feature. Can you check email?

{Nebulon reads the email.}

Dear my all powerful ruler,
How did you feel when you found
out that The Liekand was really
just a fat rat...literally.
-CRABJAKE-2

NEBULON: Oh, it's that "Crabjake" again. Did Stlunko ever challenge his parents? Because they would have to be challenged.

CHARLES: That joke was in severly bad taste. Try again.

MEGAXE: Back on topic to the email, no, none of us were really suprised.

NEBULON: Yes, the first time he exited his whirlwind he revealed himself.

MEGAXE: When he joined us, Tampo insulted him and threw him out for being so weak.

NEBULON: He came back, as he was still welcome to watch... performances...

CHARLES: You told me you even used him as a weapon once?

NEBULON: I did, once. See, 1-Up is terrified of rodents...

{Fade in to 1-Up in his kitchen. The Liekand (as a mouse) is hiding.}

THE LIEKAND: 1-Up...

1-UP: Hey! Who said that?

{The Liekand darts into 1-Up's pudding.}

1-UP: This is weird! There's a voice, and {screams} MOUSE IN MY PUDDING!

THE LIEKAND: Delicious apple pudding as well!

1-UP: Mom always told me never to put the good pudding out.

{Fade back to Nebulon, Charles, and Megaxe.}

NEBULON: I wish I could do that...

CHARLES: Feel free to roll around in a bowl of pudding.

NEBULON: Judging by the fact that 1-Up's unwashed dishes is the highest point on Planet K, you may have a point there. But I don't terrify him.

MEGAXE: Nebulon's right. It would be an interesting thing to see 1-Up remeet that rat...

{Cut to The Liekand's Base.}

THE LIEKAND: For the last time, no. I was thinking of bringing back the old job of fashion design...

NEBULON: Just do this one last thing!

THE LIEKAND: You are such children. No. I will not pull a useless prank because it's funny!

MEGAXE: I bet a pudding bath is... wonders for the fur...

THE LIEKAND: The reason I was so shiny after that was because I was showering for a week staight to get all that pudding out!

CHARLES: 1-Up's homemade pudding is the only way to get to popular shade of brown...

{The Liekand's eyes widen.}

THE LIEKAND: Fine. I will join you for this one last excursion.

NEBULON: You... I wish you didn't have all the answers, all the time...

CHARLES: But I do, and that's what makes me so great.

{Cut to 1-Up's kitchen again. The Liekand, as a mouse, is hiding again.}

THE LIEKAND: {sounding exactly like Stinkoman} Hey loser!

1-UP: It's the guy! Can I-

THE LIEKAND: {same voice} No way, man. Maybe when you're older.

{The Liekand climbs into the pudding bowl.}

1-UP: Okay, but will you taste my new pudding again? I improved it!

{He takes a big spoonful, full of The Liekand, and eats it, closing his mouth. His eyes cross, and he looks like he's going to spit, but he swallows instead.}

THE LIEKAND: {faintly} This is all your fault!

1-UP: The guy, you don't want this pudding, it's too furry.

NEBULON: {offscreen} You just ate a rat!

1-UP: {screams} I HATE RATS!

{He finds some MSG, and begins pouring it into his mouth. The Pan-Asian-Cuisine man comes up, and throwns him a spring roll.}

{Cut back the the computer.}

CHARLES: Congradulations on killing - and then double killing - the only powerful person that wanted to be our ally. You're a great person for wrecking our chances.

MEGAXE: I can't believe I used to think you were a good guy! Now I know you're lame and mean and... not nice.

NEBULON: You agreed with me!

MEGAXE: Well, now I don't!

NEBULON: {typing} Well, you made everyone hate me, Crabjerk. Thanks.

{The Paper falls.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Crabjerk" to see:

THE LIEKAND: I'm drowning in pudding! My fur!

Fun Facts

  • There are so many, I can't add them all right now.


Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Nebulon/chomp"