Other Character Email Strong Sad/Peasantry

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Contents

Summary

Strong Sad gets medievel.

Cast(in order of appearance): Strong Sad, Rather Dashing, Innkeeper, Trogdor and the Trogdorettes, Mysterious Female Voice, The Eleven Year Olds

Transcript

{Strong Sad continues to sit in the same white field he was in last email}

STRONG SAD: I feel like such a Nowhere man, a real boob.

{Suddenly, an old-fashioned art noveuo style typewritter appears in front of him.}

STRONG SAD: What?

{He pushes a button on it and a typed letter pops out}

Dear Strong Sad,
You're probably the smartest character
in Free Country, USA. I heard that
you have a brother named Strong Glad.
Is this true?
Curiouser and curiouser,
Alice
Wonderland

STRONG SAD: {reads greeting and first line} I'm not in Free Country anymore. I wonder if I'm the smartest person here. I don't feel very smart right now. {reads the rest} I'm like Alice in Wonderland too, or at least Alice if Lewis Carroll had severe brain damage. I guess I should type a response. {typing} Dear Alice Liddell, I don't have a brother named Strong Glad, but I have a cousin on my father's side named Strong Glad. She probably wouldn't like you mistaking her for a boy. I haven't seen her in a long time, so she may actually be a boy now and wouldn't mind. I hope this message gets to you, but it probably won't. Sincerely, Strong Sad. {stops typing}

{After Strong Sad finishes typing, the paper flies off. Strong Sad chases it into a green meadow. He then stops and looks around.}

STRONG SAD: Where the heck am I now? {looks around} Hmmm, {looks at a lake with a lady throwing swords at a king} feudal system of government, {looks at a ruined colliseium with a sign saying "Closed Indefinetly} de-urbanization, and {looks up at sky, which looks like a messed-up clockwork planetarium} a Ptolmeic cosmology! I'm in the Middle Ages! {looks over at a big sign saying "Peasantry: If you could read this, you'd be a monk right now"} In the ancient Kingdom of Peasantry! Good thing I had my Babelfish surgically implanted into my ear.

{Strong Sad walks along until he finds the village. Rather Dashing is leaning on the town well}

STRONG SAD: It's Rather Dashing, the hero of Peasantry.

RATHER DASHING: Blow off, ye fat pig. I ain't no hero. Now I'll be off to Scalding Lake before the locust season starts.

STRONG SAD: {sighs} Another illusion destroyed.

{Strong Sad walks into an inn. The old man from the Peasant's Quest game is behind the counter}

STRONG SAD: Um, Mister Innkeeper, where are the facilities?

INNKEEPER: Don't go out tonight, it's bound to take your life. There's a bathroom on the right.

STRONG SAD: {looks over at disgustingly filthy outhouse} I think I'll just use those thorn bushes instead. {leaves}

INNKEEPER: Hey, leave my thorn crop alone! Oh well, Trogdor will eat him.

{Five minutes later. Cut to Strong Sad sitting on a tree stump}

STRONG SAD: It's nice to be somewhere. Maybe I'll just live here, far away from brothers. Always teasing or beating me and playing loud music or yelling about Trogdor....wait a minute...

{the sun suddenly goes down}

STRONG SAD: Trogdor?

TROGDOR: In the scales.

{Strong Sad turns around to see a giant Trogdor with several smaller trogdors. They start dancing and singing}

TROGDOR: {singing} Don't you want to know why I keep starting fires? It's my desire!

TROGDORETTES: {singing} It's my desire!

TROGDOR: {singing} It's my desire!

STRONG SAD: That's the most horrifing musical number I've ever seen.

TRODGOR: Time to die!

STRONG SAD: Ahhhhh! {runs off} I can't stay here, I'll die! Plus, The Cure won't be around for another 700 years.

{A cell phone rings. Strong Sad stops}

STRONG SAD: That's a creative anachronism. {picks up cell phone} Hello?

FEMALE VOICE: {over phone} I'm here to help, Strong Sad. Hold on.

STRONG SAD: How are you going to help...

{Trogdor catches up with Strong Sad and just as he's about to roast him...}

STRONG SAD: ...me? {disappears}

TROGDOR: Shoot! I'll just burn that short pant guy's house.

{to be continued}

Easter Egg

  • Click on the spot where Strong Sad used to be for the following scene.
{The three kids from the Danger easter egg sit around a computer.}
BOY #3: Hey! Some chick stole Strong Sad before he could get burniated!
BOY #1: I bet she's hot.
{A girl of the same age enters the room}'
GIRL: All the same, we must kill her for interfering.
BOY #2: You're just jealous.
GIRL: No I'm not, gaywad!
  • Click on Trogdor to see him and the Trogdorettes perform the rest of "Fire in the Disco".

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • To understand how Strong Sad got into that white field, read Danger.

H*R References

  • Strong Glad is from a sketch the Brothers Chap made of Strong Sad with killer gams. Why this character would be male is beyond me.
  • The Kingdom of Peasantry is from the two Trogdor games and the movie trailer. Rather Dashing is the hero of the second Trogdor game, Peasant's Quest. This email takes place before he goes off to Scalding Lake. The game Peasant's Quest starts when he comes home to find his hut destroyed by Trogdor.

Real World References

  • Strong Sad's first line refers to a character in the animated movie "The Yellow Submarine". In the movie, the Beatles meet a strange creature that lives in the middle of a white field and spouts intellectual sounding poetry. He gives the Beatles cards with his various names on them, one of these names being "boob". The Beatles then depress him with the song "Nowhere Man". They then take the creature on their adventures.
  • Alice Liddell is the full name the girl Alice from the Alice Books was based on. The line "Curiouser and curiouser" is from "Alice in Wonderland".
  • The lady in the lake throwing swords at a king is a references to the Anglo-Celtic legend of King Arthur. King Arthur is said to have recieved the famous sword Excaliber from the Lady in the Lake. Note: Excaliber is not the same as the Sword in the Stone, which made Arthur king.
  • Ptolemic cosmology is a model of the cosmos as seen by the astronomer Ptolemy. Basically, he believed that the Sun, the Moon, and all the planets revolved around the Earth. This lead to very complicated charts of the cosmos explaining why some planets seem to go backwards in their orbit then forwards again.
  • The Innkeeper is quoting a famous misheard line from the song "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedance Clearwater Revival. The real line is "Don't go out tonight, it's bond to take your life, there's a bad moon on the rise."
  • Trogdor and the Trogdorettes are singing "Fire in the Disco" by Electric Six.
  • Strong Sad's line about creative anachronisms is a references to the Society of Creative Anachronism, which researchs and recreates pre-17th century European history.

Related Links

Other Character Email
Strong Sad Email


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