Other Character Email Strong Sad/Love

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Contents

Summary

Strong Sad goes on a date.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Sad, Brittany, Server, Strong Bad

Transcript

STRONG SAD: {singing} Why does it always rain on me? Was it cause I lied when I was only...how old am I again? {opens email}

Dear Strong Sad,

Okay, I have to get this out. I love you. I really, really love you. No, this is not a virus. I think you're so smart, kind, thoughtful, and your voice is the voice of an angel. I don't care about your outside, because it's the inside that matters. Also, I want to see if you're doing anything Sunday night. Maybe we could go out, and if you're doing something already, I could go with you to where ever you're going. I know you like The Cure, and They Might Be Giants, and let me tell you, I love The Cure, and They Might Be Giants! What other bands/artists do you like? Maybe we could go to a concert, or something! Anyway, lots of love!

Love,

Brittany

STRONG SAD: {reads email, getting increasingly more excited} Wow. I don't know what to say. This is too sophisticated to be from Strong Bad. This must be real. Could this be love? {Strong Sad types an email}

Dear Brittany,

Do you know where Marshmallow's Last Stand is? We can meet there.

Love,

Strong Sad

STRONG SAD: Now to wait.

{10 Minutes Later}

STRONG SAD: {rocking back and forth on the floor, looking crazed} Please reply, please reply, she's not going to reply, she hates me...

{Computer makes email sound. Strong Sad pulls himself together and goes over to the computer. He brings up an email}

Dear Strong Sad,

That sounds perfect. Let's make a date for 3 PM Saturday. We'll wear red carnations.
See you there!

Love,

Brittany

STRONG SAD: Now to wait.

{Saturday, 2:50 PM}

STRONG SAD: {rocking back and forth again} Going crazy, don't mind me.

{An alarm goes off. Strong Sad gets up}

STRONG SAD: Oh no, I forgot to shower...or eat this week! No time! {runs out}

{Cut to Marshmallow's Last Stand. Strong Sad sits in a booth, wearing a green sweater with a red carnation}

STRONG SAD: Cool blue ocean, cool blue ocean...

WOMAN: {off-screen} Ahem?

{Pan to a short, green woman with crazy hair and a red carnation. Looks vaguely like Vendetta from Making Fiends}

WOMAN: {horrible nasal voice} Are you Strong Sad?

STRONG SAD: Um, yes?

BRITTANY: I'm Brittany. {sits at booth}

STRONG SAD: Uh, hello. My name is...

BRITTANY: I already know you're name! I emailed you. So, you paying? You better be paying.

STRONG SAD: Yes, I did invite you so it would be rude to not pay.

BRITTANY: Thank you, Mr. Manners. I'm not some stupid hippie.

{A server comes over}

SERVER: Welcome to Marshmallow's Last Stand, our specials today are...

BRITTANY: Shut up! I'll have a marshmallow shake, the marshmallow sampler, the marshmallow pie, a marshmallow steak, rare but not too rare, with plenty of marshmallow sauce, lobster a la marshmallow, and for desert, marshmallows.

STRONG SAD: I'll have a glass of water. No ice.

SERVER: Your order will be ready soon. {leaves}

BRITTANY: {to server} It better be! And don't spit in my food!

STRONG SAD: Um, so you wrote that you like The Cure and They Might Be Giants?

BRITTANY: I write a lot of things.

STRONG SAD: Oh.

{Awkward silence}

BRITTANY: I heard a great joke the other day. What did the no-armed say to the other no-armed? Nothing! Cause they're stupid!

STRONG SAD: I don't like jokes like that...

BRITTANY: What, you got some no-armed friends? Some of them are good, but no offense, most of them are bad to the bone. {lights cigarette}

STRONG SAD: I don't think they allow smoking in here.

BRITTANY: They should! I'm a paying customer!

STRONG SAD: Actually, I'm the one paying...

BRITTANY: Don't get smart with me! You know what I'm talking about!

{The server comes back with all Brittany's food. The table is full of her order. Brittany picks at it for a while, then leans back.}

STRONG SAD: Are you going to eat all that?

BRITTANY: Are you kidding? I'm on a diet!

STRONG SAD: So, can I have some?

BRITTANY: Eat your own dang food!

STRONG SAD: Sorry. {thinking voice-over} Well, she's loud, rude, and not very attractive, but I'm not a catch either. So why not? {out-loud} I know we just meet, but I think I love you.

BRITTANY: I don't.

STRONG SAD: What?

BRITTANY: You're too short. I thought you were taller. Can't stand short guys.

STRONG SAD: But...but...but...

BRITTANY: I'm outtie. {leaves}

SERVER: That will be one hundred sixty five and tooty two cents.

{Cut to Strong Bad outside Strong Sad's door}

STRONG BAD: Fatty won't be able to do his email poetry slams this week because Kurt Cobain died again or something. Like I can tell with all the weeping. Anyway, I'm off on a hot date with this girl called Brittany. See you later, emo-dorks.

{the end}

Note to Brittany

  • I mean no offense in this email. Perhaps you are a wonderful and sweet person. But that wouldn't be very funny.

Fun Facts

Explanation

  • The first line is from a song "Why does it always rain on me" by Travis.
  • Kurt Cobain was the lead singer of Nirvana. He commited suicide in the early 90s.

Trivia

  • "Tooty two" is a H*R runnning gag.

Releated Links

Other Character Email
Strong Sad Email


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