Other Character Email Nebulon/heads

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Contents

Summary

Nebulon Email #4: heads

Nebulon goes back to a planet he crash landed on.

Date: July 14, 2005

Cast (in order of appearance): Nebulon, Charles, Computer, Pig Headed Men, Bob, Astromunds, Megaxe, Crocodile Headed Men

Places: Nebulon's Base, Pig Headed Planet Lake, Leader's House, Minion Room, Landing Field, Prison Room

Length: 107 Lines

Transcript

{Nebulon and Charles are sitting in front of the Neby 989.}

NEBULON: Today I'm going to do something a little different. Charles will answer my email while I critisize him.

CHARLES: I have no intention of doing that until I get an email addressed to me.

NEBULON: Well, let's see the inbox...

CHARLES: I severly doubt any of those emails are adressed to me. NEBULON: "Suck"? "Go away?" Sheesh, people, learn to send good emails. Well, let's open a random email... {An email pops up. Nebulon reads it.}

NEBULON: Dear En-Three-Bee Hyphen One... pretty gutsy, overcoming the filter, aren't you? Neby! Upgrade filter to 31337 resistant version.

COMPUTER: You don't have to use bare-boned commands. I can understand you. Stop undermining my intellegence.

NEBULON: No one cares about a computer's feelings. {He finishes reading the email, replaceing "You suck" with "You rule" and "Tampo" with "The brain with no brain". He begins typing.} Tampo? How dare you email me! Neby! Insert block type on the brain that sent this email!

COMPUTER: I can't understand you. Use simpler launguage.

NEBULON: Never mind. Well, Tampo, how did I survive? Luck.

CHARLES: You would need lots of it. I saw where you were thrown. There are no identified planets for lightyears.

NEBULON: There, however, are unidentified planets just out of Tampo's sight. For example...

{The camera begins to swirl for a flashback.}

CHARLES: Wait!

{The camera stops swirling.}

CHARLES: Is this going to be a long flashback sequence, or a short one?

NEBULON: This one will be pretty long. Can we get on with this?

CHARLES: Yes.

{The camera swirls again, and we cut to Nebulon flying.}

NEBULON: {screaming}

{Nebulon breaks into a planet's gravity field. He falls into a lake.}

NEBULON: {sounding like he'd lost his voice} Ugh. It's hard to act like a screaming idiot, sctually scream, and then not lose your voice. I'm getting out of here.

{He climbs out of the lake.}

VOICE: {inside crater} Who are you?

NEBULON: An interplanetary traveler bent on destroying your planet.

VOICE: Most of those do not fall from the sky screaming.

NEBULON: Okay, you got me. I got thrown to this planet by my ex-boss.

VOICE: Ah, okay. You're the third one of those. {He comes out from behind the tree. He has a pig head for a head.} And yes, I have heard the obvious joke.

NEBULON: Hah hah... pig headed...

MAN WITH PIG HEAD: Yes, that one.

NEBULON: Well, what ever. Take me to your leader.

MAN WITH PIG HEAD: Alright, I'll take you to Phyfatyiuh.

NEBULON: Is that really his name?

MAN WITH PIG HEAD: {not sarcastically} Nope. It's Bob.

{Cut to Leader's House. The leader is there, who also has a pig head for a head.}

MAN WITH PIG HEAD: ...and that's when he asked to see you.

BOB: Hi. I'm Bob. I notice you have some friends with you...

{The Astromunds file in.}

BOB: Do you think we could borrow some? To do some work around here?

NEBULON: Anyone who wants to leave my control, stand behind Bob over here!

{All of the Astromunds besides one stand behind Bob.}

REMAINING ASTROMUND: I stand by you, Master Nebulon!

NEBULON: What's your name again?

MEGAXE: Megaxe, sir.

NEBULON: You get a 1,000 credit raise. That's everyone's else's wages.

MEGAXE: I'M RICH!

BOB: Well, I'm glad he's happy. Is there anything you need?

NEBULON: I'd like a spaceship, if it's possible.

BOB: We'll get to work on making it.

{Cut to a calandar where the days peel off. At "Day 10" Nebulon appears at the Leader's House again.}

NEBULON: Hi, Bob. Is the ship done?

BOB: It is. Enjoy.

NEBULON: Megaxe? We're leaving!

MEGAXE: Yes! Back to evil plots again!

{Cut out of the sequence.}

NEBULON: Ah, mem- Charles ran off again. You know, I'm just not sprised. I should go back to that planet, though. I have it marked on my charts. Well, it's the only thing I have on my charts...

{Cut to Minion's Quarters.}

NEBULON: Megaxe?

MEGAXE: Here, sir!

NEBULON: I was thinking of going to the planet where all the Astromunds were left.

MEGAXE: I would be most honored to join you.

{Cut to the Pig Head Planet. The ship lands.}

NEBULON: Hello? Bob?

{A crocodile headed man jumps out.}

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: Never speak that name! It is the name of our the viliagnte who resisted our takeover!

NEBULON: Takeover?

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: That's right! After the pig headed peoples fused all there weapons apart to make metal for a ship, we invaded with little resistance.

MEGAXE: We're sorry. We didn't know.

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: It's okay. Don't do it again.

{He walks off, muttering something about history.}

MEGAXE: Where could my brothers be?

NEBULON: More importantly, where is everyone?

{They walk up to another man.}

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: What do you want?

MEGAXE: We want to know where all the pig-headed people are.

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: I can't tell you. That's classified information.

NEBULON: Oh, no, it's okay. We're classed.

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: Okay, good. They're hidden... in the building next to me.

NEBULON: Convenient.

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: Thanks, I know.

{Nebulon and Megaxe walk in.}

MEGAXE: They must be shut in by this lock. {He shoots it, and the trapdoor flies open.}

VOICE: {from behind} Well, looks like we've got a rescure effort here. I will crush you beneath my foot, like you are... something... like a wax figurine. I AM THE LEADER OF THE CROCODILE HEADS!

NEBULON: So... are you going to hurt us?

LEADER: Yes! {He begins to charge.} Here I go!

{He falls on the floor, dead, an army of Astromunds are behind him. They salute, and walk off.}

NEBULON: You can go free now.

{Cut back to the Computer. Charles is there, beaten up.}

CHARLES: Please do not ask. I do not wish to talk about it now.

NEBULON: I wasn't going to. {typing}Well, Tampo, there you go. How I survived. And also how I saved a race. And probably destroyed one as well. {stops typing} As the saying goes, email me, and I will reply.

CHARLES: That is not a saying.

NEBULON: It's my saying!

{The Paper falls.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "destroyed" to see:

CROCODILE HEADED MAN: Our leader is dead! We must hit ourselves... with hammers.

Fun Facts


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