Other Character Email Trogador/video games

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 001: Video Games
Trogador reverts time back to how it was in 20X8, and begins answering emails. His first brain-crushing question: LOL VIDEO GAMES


Transcript

{The scene begins at a ruined building reading "AMPO LABS", with the front being ripped off. The sky is red, and thunderclouds hover above. The ground is burnt and scorched. Suddenly, a massive purple dragon bursts through the front doors. The camera pans to him, showing that the dragon is hideously deformed. His wings are ripped and have holes in them, while his eyes are bright yellow. Spikes protrude from all over his body. He is carrying a small silver box. The dragon wears a watch-like object on its wrist.}

MYSTERIOUS DRAGON OF MYSTERY: {running} C'mon, you stupid thing! Work already!

{The watch on the dragon's wrist glows green.}

VOICE FROM WRISTWATCH: Xer! Xerador, can you hear me?

XERADOR: Loud and clear, doc.

VOICE FROM WRISTWATCH (DOC): Have you retrieved the T-Cube?

XERADOR: Got it right here.

VOICE FROM WRISTWATCH (DOC): Are you being followed?

{A black Astromund helicopter flies overhead. They begin shooting at Xerador.}

XERADOR: Well, there's some of those goons blasting at me, and my feet are getting weaker, Doc...

VOICE FROM WRISTWATCH (DOC): {sighs} Then use your wings, Xer. Y'know, those grotesque things with holes in them?

XERADOR: ...oh yeah, I forgot about those for a sec.

{Xerador begins to fly above the copter.}

XERADOR: Thanks, Doc! You're a lifesaver.

VOICE FROM WRISTWATCH (DOC): Yeah, well, so long as you come back to HQ with the T-Cube, we'll be even.

{Xerador flies in the clouds, swooping away from thunder. Eventually he makes it to a tall, purple mountain. He flies directly into it and then finds himself in a large cavern. Computer screens and machinery litter the walls. An aged Jhonka with gray hair and a gray beard sits in the center of the cavern. Xerador lands in front of him.}

DOC: Show me the T-Cube, Xer.

{Xerador pulls out the T-Cube and gives it to Doc.}

DOC: Ahh, yes...at last! This is the end, Xerry, old boy...we're almost home. Now we just have to figure out how to use-

{Doc is interrupted by an orange ghost, Clyde, running through the cavern. He is screaming and knocks over Doc, who drops the T-Cube.}

CLYDE: Oops, sorry, Doc! Kray's just on a tantrum again...

{Screaming is heard in the distance. A mad looking Kerrek in old pirate garb stomps in with a green Mothman above him.}

DOC: Nothing to be sorry about at all, Clyde...it looks like you've activated the T-Cube!

{The T-Cube glows red and hovers above everybody.}

KERREK: Ay, this light shows pretty good an' all, but shun't we be focusin' on the time travel?

{A loud crashing noise is heard. Two Astromunds in black armor with white faces step forward. A black figure with a red cape is behind them.}

FIGURE: Ahh, the elusive T-Cube...at last! Now, gentlemen, don't mind me, I'm just here to destroy-

{Suddenly, the T-Cube explodes, engulfing the 8...}

{...and we find ourselves in 20X8. Xerador, Doc, the Kerrek, Clyde, and the Mothman fall to floor of a Temple-like building, with differences in their appearance. Xerador looks like Trogador instead of being grotesque. Doc looks younger. The others stay the same.}

TROGADOR: Did...did we just...time travel?

JOHN: {the Jhonka} Trog...Trog, you look normal! Like the old you!

TROGADOR: Really? You look a century younger yourself!

KRAY: {the Kerrek} Ah, what happened?

JOHN: I'm guessing that we're back in 20X8...

TROGADOR: Before the Revolution?

DREW: {the mothman} Back in the good old days?

CLYDE: {screaming} TROGADOR EMAILS ARE BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY!

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "TIME TRAVELLERS FROM THE DISTANT FUTURE FIND THEMSELVES IN THE DAYS OF OLD. THESE TRAVELERS INCLUDE A DOCTOR, A PIRATE, A CHEF AND A GHOST, NOT TO MENTION A LEGEND.". Then, it shifts to "THE ONE AND ONLY LEGEND THAT CHECKS EMAILS ON A TINY, OUT OF DATE TROGPILOT. THIS LEGEND HAS A NAME, AND THAT NAME IS...". A few seconds after this comes up, the screen goes black, and the word "TROGADOR" comes up in orange letters. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Temple, Trogador's home. Trogador is sitting in a couch, digging through it when John walks in.}

JOHN: Trog, what are you doing?! You should be fighting off the Revolution!

TROGADOR: Please, John, the Revolution doesn't even start plans until 20X9, I was there! And if you must know, I'm looking for my TrogPilot.

JOHN: That old thing? You aren't going to start answering emails again, are you?

{Trogador pulls out a small orange palm-pilot: the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Got nothing better to do.

JOHN: Well, while you answer silly emails from strangers, I'll be saving the world from evil greater than ours!

TROGADOR: Psh. Whatever. And, without further ado, let's get our email on!

TROGADOR: Video games? These things existed back in the past-er, present? I didn't know that.

TROGADOR: Well, Emily, as you can see, I'm a little out of touch when it comes to the kids these days and their fandangled iToothbrushes and loud music and STAY OFF MY LAWN!

TROGADOR: Uhh, anyways, since I'm not exactly in touch, I'll go ask somebody who is not exactly out of touch!

{Trogador gets up and walks across the room to Clyde, who is sitting at a computer desk.}

TROGADOR: 'Sup, Clyde.

CLYDE: 'Sup, conformist popular pig.

TROGADOR: Uhh...okay...anyways, I wanted to ask you what sort of video games skills you possess and made inquiries on gaining these skills.

CLYDE: Video games? Video games are for rebels, like me. I go to Hot Topic, rat. I watch my television in French, scum. I have an artsy, worldly view, and play the keyboard, and nobody understands me, you Danish turtle wearing-

TROGADOR: Okay, Clyde, that's enough, I get, stick it to society, blah blah blah. I just wanna know about video games.

CLYDE: Oh, video games? Video games are nice. The one I'm playing right now is Realm of Revengance IV: The Vampire Darktower Bloodriver Cougar Expansion Pack.

TROGADOR: {taking notes} Uh-huh. And what do you do on this game?

CLYDE: You pretend to be a bearded midget and run around the wilderness, pawning nubs and gaining exp {pronounced as ex-puh}.

TROGADOR: Pawning? Nub? Ex-puh? I don't get any of this!

CLYDE: Okay, I'll help you create a character.

TROGADOR: What can I be, a Gargoyle Paladin?

CLYDE: Nope, just midgets. There's a Midget Warrior, Midget Mage, Midget Rogue, Midget Ninja, Midget Zombie, Midget Dragon-

TROGADOR: I'll take the Dragon.

CLYDE: Alright, man. now, just let me control your character for a bit, get you to join my clan. Every referral I get gets me 50 karma!

TROGADOR: That's...great...

{Clyde clicks the mouse and gets off of the computer. Trogdor gets on.}

TROGADOR: Well, okay, thanks. I guess I'll go see what all the hub-bub is about now.

HEY KIDS, IT'S MONTAGE TIME!

{video game music is playing. Cut to Trogador's screen. A dragon midget is running across a crowded market. The scene changes to a snowy village. It then changes to a beach. It then changes to a dungeon. It then changes to a desert. It then changes to space. Lastly, it changes to a parade of dragon midgets.}

{A white card comes up that says "38 HOURS AND 12 MINUTES LATER"}

{cut to the computer. Trogador is sitting in front of it with his neck tilted back, drooling. He slowly clicks the mouse. Drew walks in.}

DREW: {appalled} Woah, Mr. Trogador, we need to get out out here!

TROGADOR: ...level 19...quest...furs...pawn some...some...

DREW: I don't care about your chess game, you need help!

{Drew begins to drag Trogador away.}

TROGADOR: ...well...k-kiddies, th...that's another...trogador shemail for ya...

THE END!

{cut to a black screen that says "GAME OVER." Options are "EMAIL" and "STAGE SELECT.}

Fun Facts

  • This is a restart, hence the opening.
  • The "IN THE YEAR" etc. etc. is a reference to the Mega Man games, which would use a similar intro.
  • The iToothbrush is a reference to Apple Inc, which has a tendency to put lowercase i's in front of their products (iPhone, iPod, etc.)
  • Hot Topic is a clothing store for NONCOMFORMIST KIDS LOL
  • Clyde shows a lot of habits of the NONCOMFORMIST LOL early on here.
  • Realm of Revengance is a parody of World of Warcraft.
Other Character Email Trogador

video games | redux | band | dwelling | trogdor | random | realty | fandom | different town | pluto | tennis | life | mustache | fat | rodagore | comedy | albino | da kidz | sports | time travel | superhero | island | best email ever | mind control

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