Other Character Email Trogador/band

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 003: Band
Trogador and Co. find a new way to dominate Challenge City, but at what cost? The cost of music videos and hairspray, that's what cost.

BUY SODA! Pic by Strong Intelligent.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A QUASI-EVIL DRAGON REMEMBERED CRUSHED HOPES AND DREAMS. THESE HOPES WERE LATER RECYCLED INTO PURE EVIL. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Temple. Trogador is sitting at his nest. An old TV is in front of him.}

TROGADOR: Let's just skip the set-up and cut to the chase, TrogFans!

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Well, Blue-Bruh, it was always my childhood dream to become an accomplished singer well-known throughout Planet K...but...{tearfully}...the universe had other plans for me.

TROGADOR: {normal} Let's forget about my failures for the moment and watch some TV!

{Trogador picks up the remote and presses a button. The TV turns on. An Astromund in a suit appears with a microphone. Two screaming Astromunds, the ones from BBB, are behind him.}

NEWS ASTROMUND: As you can see, Dave, the citizens are going crazy for Noisy in Boise, the newest sensation coming from Star City. The band is scheduled to make a performance at the K Dome tonight.

ASTROMUND 1: YEAH! GO BOISE! YEAH!

ASTROMUND 2: I FEEL THE BOISE! I FEEL THE BOISE!

NEWS ASTROMUND: {chuckling} Heh heh heh, those fans sure are crazy. Dave, can you put up some footage of their new music video?

{the screen changes to a spaceship. 4 Jaros with long, blond hair, similar to Limozeen are outside of it, playing instruments on it.}

SINGER JARO: COME ON, FEEL THE BOISE {pronounced "boys"}
WE 4 JAROS LIKE TO MAKE NOISE!
LET'S GET SODA, SODA, SODA
SODA, SODA, SODA

{the Singer Jaro looks up at the camera.}

SINGER JARO: BUY SODA!

{cut back to the News Astromund.}

NEWS ASTROMUND: Interestingly enough, Dave, Soda sales have increased 500 percent since the music video premiered. Back to you.

{the camera goes back to Trogador.}

TROGADOR: Huh...JOHN! GET IN HERE!

{John walks in.}

JOHN: What?! I'm busy researching the T-Cube, y'know, and I don't need any-

TROGADOR: Would you believe it if I told you a music video made people buy more soda?

JOHN: Sure. It's called subliminal advertising.

TROGADOR: Submarinal adventuring?

JOHN: No, Trog, subliminal advertising! That's when they sneak in references to products in movies, video games, or other media to get you to buy more of that product.

{"The More You Know" appears above the two with a sparkling noise. It quickly disappears.}

JOHN: Why'd you call me out about this?

TROGADOR: I think we have a new scheme, John...

{cut to the Living Room. Everybody is gathered there. Trogador is standing in front of them with a microphone.}

TROGADOR: Testing, testing! 1, 2, 1, 2, ah 1 2 3 {starts to beatbox}

JOHN: Trog!

TROGADOR: {throws the microphone} Oh, yeah, sorry. Anyways, I'm sure you're wondering why I called this meeting.

CLYDE: Those cops can't prove anything! I was never in the Lava Zone! I've never seen a Poorbt in my life!

TROGADOR: Sit down, Clyde.

{Clyde slowly sits down, glaring around the room}

TROGADOR: I'll put it short and simple: our domination attempts haven't been very successful in the past.

KRAY: You're right they haven't! Remembered the Monument Incident?

DREW: I still have scars from that!

JOHN: No way, guys, the An Ice Machine Treaty was the worst.

CLYDE: Oh, man, I didn't sleep for a week after that!

TROGADOR: Guys...

CLYDE: But the worst of all time has to be the War Against Challenge City!

{Everyone except Trogador chatters in agreement.}

TROGADOR: People, people, PEOPLE!

{Trogador roars. Everybody stops talking and pays attention to him.}

TROGADOR: Yes, I realize that I am a dragon of many failures. This plan, however, is my best one yet. And before you say anything, Clyde, I'll let you know I have the GhostBusters on Speed-Dial.

{Clyde whimpers.}

TROGADOR: This new plan involves all of us. Using our musical talent, we'll form a band. Since we are all oh-so amazing, our first song will be a hit, and Challenge City will love us. The song will have a hidden meaning, however: a little thing i like to call submarinal-

JOHN: Subliminal.

TROGADOR: -subliminal advertising. The whole city will be at our disposal, and only for making one song! So, first things first, let's decide on what kind of band we will be. I suggest Metal.

KRAY: Classic Punk, man, Classic Punk!

JOHN: Techno, everybody loves Techno!

DREW: Hip-hop, HIP-HOP!

CLYDE: Adult contemporary!

TROGADOR: Fine, it doesn't seem we're gonna get one thing here. Everybody, just come to The Recording Studio in ten minutes dressed up.

DREW: {to Kray} We have one of those?

KRAY: For the purposes eh this plot, we do.

{cut to The Recording Studio. It's your standard thing - gray room with instruments and a window. TRogador stands in it at the microphone, wearing black armor and KISS-style makeup. Kray enters, with liberty spikes and a blue jacket and jeans on. he walks over to the Bass.}

KRAY: Who are you supposed to be, The Spanish Inquisition?

{John walks in wear a black jumpsuit and sunglasses. He walks over to the Drums. Drew follows, wearing a blue jersey, golden chain, and turned baseball-cap. He walks over to the Guitar. Lastly, Clyde enters dressed like Simon from Simon and Garfunkel.}

TROGADOR: Clyde, I'm not really sure we have room for you in the band...

CLYDE: No way, man, I play a wicked recorder!

{Clyde pulls out a recorder and walks over to stand in front of the drums.}

TROGADOR: Alright, the music video stuff is all set up. Let's just play our hit. Ready, GO!

{the lights dim inside of The Recording Studio. The scenery changes to an apocalyptic war-zone. The sky is red and robot parts lay scattered on the floor. A missile zooms overhead the band and they start playing.}

TROGADOR: With an awesome backstory and a claim to fame
everybody knows this lone dragon's name, yeah.
Stupid people in the middle of the city
scream as he walks through, he ain't too pretty, yeah.
He gets a hotdog and a soda too
domination is in the hands of you
Ohhh, woah, he's our new hero
Yeah Yeah TrogZilla!
Ohhh, woah, the city better know
Yeah Yeah TrogZilla!

TROGADOR: RECORDER SOLO!

{the camera focuses on Clyde, who starts to rapidly play random notes on his recorder. After ten seconds, the camera goes back to Trogador.}

Television shows again and again
advertising is the key to the land, TrogZilla!
Buy our album again and again,
for it is the key to the land, TrogZilla!

{cut to a television screen. A picture of the band appears.}

ANNOUNCER: The band Red Dragon Cult have surged in popularity and became a household name overnight. Their new single, TrogZilla, is taking the city by storm. We asked the recorder player Clyde Clempincobb about it.

{cut to a podium. Clyde is standing at it. Microphones are surrounding him.}

REPORTER WITH MICROPHONE: Excuse me, Mr. Clempincobb! What is the song TrogZilla about?

CLYDE: {speaking in a British accent} Yeah, well, it's about this war-zone, y'see? And there's a war and stuff and I believe...I believe a dragon is involved. Next question!

REPORTER WITH MICROPHONE 2: Clyde, what will the upcoming album be called?

CLYDE: {British accent} Shoelace Jamboree.

{cut to The Temple. The band is sitting down, watching TV in their band uniforms.}

TROGADOR: "Shoelace Jamboree"? That's what it's going to be called?

CLYDE: It's perfect. It's witty, memorable, and has a deeper meaning.

TROGADOR: Fine, whatever. Does anybody know what our fan counter is?

JOHN: The numbers when I checked were about 100% of the entire population of Challenge City.

TROGADOR: Ahh, excellent. Time for a press conference. Let's all go make a new performance.

{cut to the center of the city. The band sits there. The Two Astromund Fans are being held off by security.}

ASTROMUND 2: I LOVE YOU CLYDE!

ASTROMUND 1: JOHN, JOHN! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!

TROGADOR: Alright, everybody. Let's do this. One, Two!

TROGADOR: So we say you want a revolution
and if you fans were loyal after all
You'd follow our every word-itution
no matter how big or tall or small.
Because the government needs overthrowing
and RDC should be at the helm
Their incompetence is always growing
so let's start a riot just for them.

{The Two Astromund Fans begin to riot. Soon, fires start, and the whole city is in a rage.}

TROGADOR: Well, my friends, I think we've done it! Our efforts have payed off!

STINKOMAN: NOT!

{Stinkoman runs over to the band.}

STINKOMAN: I know what you hacks are doing, and I must say, you must be wanting one big CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAlenge!

DREW: Bring it on, Stinkoman!

{the band abandons their instruments and run towards Stinkoman. They suddenly stop.}

TROGADOR: He can probably kick the crap out of us, can't he?

KRAY: Most likely.

TROGADOR: RETREAT!

{Trogador picks up everybody and they fly back up to the Temple. They land in The Garden.}

JOHN: Well, that was all a waste. Without us they won't find new rulers so the revolution will stop.

TROGADOR: Yeah, but man, did we rock! Anybody wanna go on tour?

{everybody but Trogador leaves.}

TROGADOR: Make a TV special? Hey, maybe Fake Instrument Rock Showdown could make a game about us! Anybody?

THE END!


Fun Facts

  • Noisy in Boise and their song Come On, Feel the Boise are a parody of the primarily 80's metal band Quiet Riot.
  • The More You Know! frequented old PSAs or it was a TV show or something like that.
  • Clyde previously did terrible things to two Poorbts in BBB.
  • You should know what the GhostBusters are.
  • KISS was a popular band from the 70's and 80's and are still well-known today.
  • Liberty spikes are a hairstyle. A type of mohawk (sort of), they consisted of pointy spikes spaced out going down the head to the back of the neck.
  • See the HRWiki for more on The Spanish Inquisition.
  • Simon and Garfunkel is a band consisting of Simon and Garfunkel (who would have imagined)
  • Trogzilla is a parody of the Blue Oyster Cult song Godzilla. Their band, Red Draon Cult, is a parody of the name Blue Oyster Cult.
  • The propoganda song is a loose parody of The Beatles' Revolution.
  • Fake Instrument Rock Showdown is a parody of Guitar Hero; specifically, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith.
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