Other Character Email Trogador/sports

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 019: Sports
Trogador explores Challenge City's world of sports. Turns out it's just as corrupted as the rest of the place!

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON PLAYED SAN ANDREAS AND BASED HIS LIFE AROUND IT. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Living Room. Clyde is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Trogador walks into the room and sits next to him.}

TROGADOR: Hey, Clyde. You have a computer yet?

CLYDE: Nope. Can't seem to find a good enough job.

TROGADOR: Maybe the fact that you end up killing them all has something to do with it.

CLYDE: Could be.

{A ding noise is heard.}

TROGADOR: Oh, hey, sweet!

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Do you mind if I-

CLYDE: Not at all.

TROGADOR: Checking an email, I'm running out of things to say-ay!

{Trogador reads the email, pronouncing nd as indie, amny as army, and yu as y-uhh.}

TROGADOR: Well, thanks for the tickets, Chwokal...who emailed me from 20X9 somehow...

CLYDE: Isn't Chwokal the guy that got eaten by the tennis shoe thing?

TROGADOR: What?

CLYDE: {whispering} Email 11.

TROGADOR: Oh, oh, yeah...yeah, either Chwokal's a common name or we have a time traveleing zombie on our hands. I'm just gonna assume that people like the name Chwokal for the sake of my sanity.

CLYDE: Good vocab word there!

TROGADOR: Thanks. John says I won't be able to use them, but I'll prove him wrong!

{cut to The Lab. Master Z, Drew, and Kray are all chained to the way. John sits behind large cannon, which is pointed at them. Trogador walks in.}

TROGADOR: Hey John, I just used a vocab word! What's the deal with all of this?

JOHN: Experimenting.

MASTER Z: Experimenting what? How long it takes for us to die with a plasma cannon wound?

JOHN: I'm rooting out the weakest so that when The Revolution comes, we are all strong warriors.

DREW: You still think that's gonna happen?

KRAY: Mah money's on Drew!

MASTER Z: I'll join you in that.

DREW: Yeah, that seems pretty likely...

TROGADOR: Well, John, you can kill off a cast member later. We're going to The Races!

JOHN: What kind of races?

KRAY: The ones that'll stop us from gettin' mar-darred, that's what kinda races!

TROGADOR: I have 5 tickets here, so we can all go!

JOHN: Uhh...Trog, there are 6 of us.

TROGADOR: No, no, me, Kray, John, Clyde, and Drew.

MASTER Z: You forgot about me, the newest addition to your wacky group of creatures.

TROGADOR: Huh...you're right. Well, you guys can go on without me.

DREW: Are you sure?

TROGADOR: Yeah, yeah, go enjoy yourself.

JOHN: Sweet!

{John presses a button on the cannon and the three drop off the wall. They proceed to run out the room.}

TROGADOR: ...hmm.

{cut to The Racetrack. It's your standard racing arena. The camera focuses on the track for a few seconds and then drifts away to the stands. It continues to drift the food area, where Trogador is walking by. He bumps into The Liekand.}

TROGADOR: Oh, sorry, Liekand.

THE LIEKAND: Not a problem at all, customer!

TROGADOR: So, you a big racing fan?

THE LIEKAND: I'm not just a fan, Trogador! I do the color commentary here at the ol' racetrack!

TROGADOR: I thought you produced a sitcom?

THE LIEKAND: Set burned down, stars got injured, lawsuits, lots of ugly stuff.

TROGADOR: Oh, that's...too bad.

THE LIEKAND: Say, do you wanna co-commentate with me?

TROGADOR: Uhh...not really, no.

THE LIEKAND: Come on! The races are the most exciting part of Challenge City! It'll be a blast!

TROGADOR: Fine, fine, I have nothing to lose.

{They start to walk offscreen.}

THE LIEKAND: Except for your dignity!

TROGADOR: Hey, thanks, I knew I was forgetting something!

{cut to a commentator's booth. Trogador and The Liekand sit in the booth, with microphones in front of them.}

THE LIEKAND: This is Likekand "The Twister of Challenge City" speaking, and we're about to kick off another great race!

TROGADOR: This Trogador "The Defender of Challenge City" speaking, and we're...yeah. We're gonna do that.

THE LIEKAND: So, Deafy, who do you think is gonna win the race today?

TROGADOR: My bet's on Sagitarious!

{The Liekand gasps.}

THE LIEKAND: Deafy, Sagitarious died a week ago.

TROGADOR: Really? How?

THE LIEKAND: Definitely not an assassination!

{The Liekand flips a switch on his microphone and then flips one on Trogador's.}

THE LIEKAND: Listen, you see that booth on the far left?

{The camera cuts to a booth that Harvax XVII sits in.}

TROGADOR (VOICE): Yeah?

THE LIEKAND (VOICE): Harvax XVII. Head of the prominent XVII Family. The toughest mob in all of Challenge.

{The camera pans to the right to another booth. A red Pac-Man ghost with a gray fedora sits in this one.}

THE LIEKAND: And on your far right. The Don of the Ghost Mafia. Friends call him Blinky. Henchmen call him Boss. Nobody else has a chance to call him anything, because by that point, you're dead.

{cut back to The Liekand and Trogador in the booth.}

TROGADOR: What does that have anything to do with Sagitarious?

THE LIEKAND: Sagitarious was a good racer. One of the best. Ambitious, too. He thought that the XVII Family could lead him to greatness. Started fixing races. Games the Ghost Mafia had a lot on. After a race, Sagitarious goes into the locker room. The next day, his body is found inside his locker. It was a mess, stuff nobody thinks they'll ever see...

{The Liekand flips his switch.}

THE LIEKAND: And it looks like we're off! No, no, wait, nobody's out there yet! This is gonna be an exciting race, folks - let's see who makes it out on the track first!

TROGADOR: So you're saying that the races are owned by the mob?

THE LIEKAND: Eh...heh-heh...no...not at all...I do not condone anything this man has said, to all you listening...

{Trogador sighs. He gets up and leaves. A few seconds later, a bullet hits where he was.}

{cut to The Mayor's Office. Mayorbot sits at his desk when Trogador walks in.}

MAYORBOT: Ahh, Trogador, how are things?

TROGADOR: Good, good. Listen, I have reason to believe that the Challenge City Races are controlled by the mob.

MAYORBOT: Yeah...? So?

TROGADOR: They've turned a proud pastime of ours into a front!

MAYORBOT: Your point is?

TROGADOR: Do you seriously not have a problem with this?

MAYORBOT: Listen, Trogador. Nobody really even cares about the races anymore. They're just a side attraction. Let the criminals do what they want with their obsolete property. But if you wanna see where the real, clean, family sports are, I suggest Challenging.

TROGADOR: Challenging, eh? I'm down with that.

MAYORBOT: I'll get you to meet the team!

TROGADOR: Really? When?

MAYORBOT: This instant!

{cut to a locker room. Trogador sits on the bench. A muscular Astromund in red armor walks up to him.}

ASTROMUND: I take it you're Trogador, our Defender?

TROGADOR: Yeah.

{The Astromund shakes his hand.}

ASTROMUND: I'm Apollo Heartthrob. I'm the team Captain and the star. The ladies adore me and the guys wanna be me. The rest of these guys are the other worthwhile players.

{The camera pans back to show two Poorbts and two Astromunds, all wearing red armor.}

POORBT 1: I'm Grizzly Atoms. I grew up in a tough neighborhood but prevailed, and here I am today.

POORBT 2: I'm Scorpio Briggs. I escaped from Lava Zone slavery when I was 10 and since them I've been training to fill these shoes I fill right now.

ASTROMUND 2: I'm Conservative Jackson. I served in the war, and now I'm a clean-cut suburban dad with a wife and two kids.

ASTROMUND 3: I'm Ted.

TROGADOR: Aren't they 5 more members of your team?

SCORPIO BRIGGS: Eh, nobody cares about those losers. We're the stars. I'm the best Pilot in the league.

TROGADOR: Pilot?

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: You don't know the rules of Challenging very much, do you?

TROGADOR: Does it involve death?

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: No, but we get pretty close. There are two teams of ten. A teams' job is to completely destroy the other team, through the means they have.

GRIZZLY ATOMS: I'm a Blaster. I stay on the battlefield and use whatever weapon I can get to shoot those suckers down.

SCORPIO BRIGGS: I'm a Pilot. I fly around in a ship and shoot.

CONSERVATIVE JACKSON: I'm a Walker. I jump in a mech and duke it out with whoever there is to duke with.

TED: I'm a Gunner. I shoot things with my turret.

TROGADOR: Sounds fun.

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: I can get you a place on the team, you know. My co-captain got laid off a few minutes ago.

TROGADOR: Really? Well, I'm pretty busy all the time, but what the hey, I'm always in a mood for a deathmatch!

{cut to a crowded sports arena. Beyond the stands is a desert war zone with barbed wire, bunkers, rock structures, machines, turrets, ships, and weapons. Stinkoman is in the middle of the field, holding a microphone.}

STINKOMAN: {to the tune of the American National Anthem} Na-nuh-nn-ma-uh-buh...buh...buh...buh buh buh buh...

{Stinkoman falls over. Challenge City's team, now with Trogador wearing red armor, walk up to the middle. The opposing team, some Astromunds wearing blue armor, walk up to them and suddenly stop.}

ASTROMUND IN BLUE ARMOR: Wait, you guys have a freakin' dragon? No way, man! Game over! We forfeit!

{The Astromunds in blue run away.}

ANNOUNCER: Challenge City wins! What a way to kick off the season!

{The Challenge City team cheers and walks back into the locker room.}

{cut to the locker room. Everybody is still in their armor, but wearing towels.}

TROGADOR: Hoo, that game was a tough one. Glad I joined up, though.

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: I told you it'd be awesome!

CONSERVATIVE JACKSON: Say, Trog, since you're co-captain, I guess you're coming to the management meeting with us, eh?

GRIZZLY ATOMS: Aw nuts, I forgot we had one of those. I got TV to watch!

SCORPIO BRIGGS: TV can wait, Grizz. This is some important stuff.

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: Yeah, we're about to make a very profitable deal with some interested customers...

TROGADOR: Sounds good!

{Harvax XVII and Blinky bust in.}

TED: And here they are.

HARVAX XVII: Greetin's, gents!

BLINKY: {speaks in an old Sicilian accent} Ahh, my dear Challengers. We've been waiting for this day for a while, you know.

TROGADOR: Wait, what? We're getting bought out by The Mob?

HARVAX XVII: Not just any mob, kid! You gettin' bought out by the strongest crm'nal alliance in all of Challenge!

BLINKY: The two warring mafiosos, finally finding peace at last. It would bring a tear to my eye if I could cry.

TROGADOR: Aren't you guys supposed to be mortal enemies, anyways?

HARVAX XVII: Eh. Mortal enemy-in' ain't profitable.

BLINKY: Our war was compromising the races. They had become flooded with degeneracy. We were all losing, whether we liked it or not. So we made a little new organization. And what better way to kick off this organization's dealings then heading into new territory?

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: Couldn't have said it better myself, Blinky.

BLINKY: That's because you're a stupid prettyboy.

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: Thanks!

HARVAX XVII: Now, shall we, ah, commence the sale?

TROGADOR: Not while I'm around. You aren't corrupting sports anymore.

{Trogador punches Harvax in the gut, knocking him down. He then stuffs Blinky into a locker.}

GRIZZLY ATOMS: That's not a smart move, Trog. These mobsters, they powerful.

TROGADOR: Bring your worst, criminals. I'm prepared.

{cut to Trogador in the Entryway of The Temple, boarding up the door franticly.}

TROGADOR: Not prepared, not prepared...

{Clyde hovers up.}

CLYDE: Not prepared for what?

TROGADOR: Oh. I stopped a mob deal so now some of Harvax's goons are coming after me. Alongside some Ghost Mafia jerks. And probably the team I betrayed.

CLYDE: Wait, did you say Ghost Mafia?

TROGADOR: Yeah, what?

CLYDE: I...I was a member of the Mafia once. A pretty prominent one, too. You see...

{cut to Clyde sitting on an Inner Challenge City street.}

CLYDE (VOICE): Things were bad for me growing up. I was in a tough neighborhood and didn't have many options. One day, I was stealing from a fruit market owned by the Don. I got caught and they forced me to be a member. They were a gang of tokens.

{cut to a picture of Blinky.}

CLYDE (VOICE): The Don and token leader was Blinky. Nobody knows how Blinky got his name, but nobody was man enough to ask. He held the neighborhood in his tight grip, and wouldn't let go until he got every penny out of it.

{cut to a picture of Pinky, who wears a black suit.}

CLYDE (VOICE): Pinky was his Capo. Pinky was a brutal guy. He was also the token idiot. Everybody says I was, but I'm pretty sure this rhinoceros is stupider than I am.

{cut to a picture of Inky. He is blue and wears sunglasses.}

CLYDE (VOICE): The top hit-man was Inky, who told us he once killed a guy with a pen. I told him I didn't believe him, and he got all depressed and stuff. He's the token whiner.

{cut to a picture of Sue. She's magenta and wears a red bow.}

CLYDE (VOICE): Sue was the token girl and the bossiest waste of space ever. I think that she might be my sister, but I was always too afraid to ask.

{cut to a picture of Funky. He's purple and has an afro.}

CLYDE (VOICE): Funky was also a hitman, but his love of disco stopped him from ever accomplishing greatness. Dream on, Funky.

{cut to a picture of Spunky, a neon yellow ghost with large pupils.}

CLYDE (VOICE): And then we have Spunky. He was hopped up on something. Not sure why we kept him around, but we're pretty sure he can't feel pain.

{cut back to Clyde talking to Trogador.}

TROGADOR: So if you aren't the token idiot, then what are you?

CLYDE: I've always thought of myself as token awesome.

{Gunshots are heard. Trogador and Clyde run and hover to The Living Room. At the room, they find Harvax XVII standing around, shooting.}

HARVAX XVII: {stops shooting} Ah, there you are, you joiks. And I see ya brought eh friend! Mo' bullets to shoot, yay!

TROGADOR: Come on, Harvax. We can solve this calmly.

HARVAX XVII: Calmly? Who needs ta be calm? I got guns, sap!

{The entire Ghost Mafia crash through the ceiling.}

BLINKY: Where is that dragon? I swear, when I gettahold of the, I'm gonna rip out his innards and-

PINKY: Calm down, boss. We got the dragon right here. Boss 2 lured 'em out.

HARVAX XVII: Well, actually, I just wanted ta shoot wildly, but...

INKY: Can't we all learn about love? We can't forget about hate?

SUE: Shut up, Inky. You're a cold blooded killer, not Ozzy Osbourne.

INKY: {sigh} I never should've killed the man with the pen, never...

CLYDE: Oh, uhh, hey, old mafia friends I abandoned and foiled a while ago...how's it going?

BLINKY: Well isn't it little ol' Clydey? The young punk who broke into my fruit market!

CLYDE: To be fair, Pinky's first meeting you with you is worse, Don.

PINKY: Yeah, that was pretty embarrassing.

BLINKY: But Pinky still stands by my side as a loyal Capo. You? You stopped us from making the ultimate sale and now here we are, meddling with our sword enemies. My whole word's been crashing down, Clyde, and it's all your fault. So I'm gonna enjoy what I'm about to do in a few minutes. And by what I'm about to do in a few minutes, I mean murder you.

FUNKY: Can't you leave it up to a real hitman, daddy-o? You must be gettin' old and-

{Blinky pulls out a gun and shoots Funky. He falls to the floor.}

FUNKY: Hey man! Not cool!

BLINKY: The 1970's are over, jerk!

SPUNKY: Can we kill people now? I really really really wanna kill something.

SUE: Go kill yourself!

SPUNKY: Marvel idea!

{Spunky hovers off.}

BLINKY: He'll be back.

PINKY: Uhh, boss? Can we get to tha killin' now?

BLINKY: Yeah, sure, a'course.

KRAY (VOICE): Wait!

{The camera pans over to show Kray behind Harvax XVII.}

KRAY: Ach aye an' ill'n t'day!

HARVAX XVII: Gett'n te mar-dar?

KRAY: Fer te g'd ah tha pap-le, dun!

{Harvax solemnly puts his guns down. He then puts them back up and shoots the Ghost Mafia.}

HARVAX XVII: Who am I kidding? Shooting you little hovering guys is too much fun!

{The Ghost Mafia quickly run out.}

{Awkward silence.}

HARVAX XVII: I'll just be going now.

{Harvax exits the room.}

KRAY: So...dun ye got some raging sports fan te take care of now?

TROGADOR: {rolls his eyes} Feh. I doubt they're coming.

{cut back to the locker room. The team stands there just like they were before.}

GRIZZLY ATOMS: Hey, you wanna go kill Trogador?

APOLLO HEARTTHROB: Eh...nah...I got stuff to do in the morning.

{Everybody chatters briefly in aggreeance.}

{Everybody goes silent. After ten seconds, Ted starts to whistle.}

SCORPIO BRIGGS: Think Trogador's gonna rat us out?

CONSERVATIVE JACKSON: Doubt it.

{Clyde wanders into the locker room.}

CLYDE: Huey Lewis and the News!

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • Clyde killed his boss in the the previous email.
  • Chwokal was previously thought to be killed in this email.
  • Trogador becoming a color commentator was another one of Chwoka's ideas. Alongside referencing Huey Lewis and the News, who made an album called "Sports".
  • The Ozzy Osbourne reference refers to the fact that Inky's request is paraphrased from the first verse of Crazy Train.
Other Character Email Trogador

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