Other Character Email Trogador/superhero

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 021: Superhero
Trogador dons a cape and fights on the streets of Challenge City, 30X8. Meanwhile, in 20X8, nobody does anything.

Contents

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 30X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON DID THE TIME WARP AGAIN. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to Trogador sitting in a Living Room in Mount Stinko. The Living Room is small, with a couch, a chair, and a table in front of the couch. Trogador sits in the chair when a ding noise is heard.}

TROGADOR: Wait, I didn't think I brought that with me...

{Trogador pulls out the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Oh, sweet, I did! Checking in the future, {beatboxes}

{Trogador reads the email, switching to an insulted tone when he gets to "fireman crap".}

TROGADOR: Well, part of a balanced breakfast, if I could be a superhero, I would probably be the one that breathes fire and flies and is a dragon. But no, apparently that's not good enough for you! So I guess that only leaves one option - incredibly fit masked vigilante!

{Trogador gets up off the couch.}

TROGADOR: And the first thing I'll need is an origin story. Good thing I have one of those!

XERADOR: {walks up} You don't have an origin story, unless being born counts as one.

TROGADOR: Well, actually...

XERADOR: If anything, I'm the one with the origin story. I was tortured and almost killed, but I came out of the experience with a new outlook on life and with a vow to save others.

TROGADOR: Pff, that might have passed as an origin story in the 1950's, but not today. These days, your parents need to die. And that's exactly what happened!

{cut to outer space. A purple planet is in the middle of the screen.}

TROGADOR (VOICE): My home planet was destroyed when I was just a baby. I was the only one that survived.

{A rocket flies off of the planet and it soon explodes. Cut to a gas station. Trogador and Steamboat Troggie stand by the door.}

TROGADOR (VOICE): Later, when I was about 16, me and my father were at a gas station or something like that.

XERADOR (VOICE): I thought you were the only one that survived the planet explosion?

TROGADOR (VOICE): That got retconned. Anyways, we were in the gas station, just minding our own business, when it gets robbed!

{An Astromund walks up next to them.}

ASTROMUND: Can I get through? I just robbed this place and need to go run.

TROGADOR: Certainly!

{Trogador steps to the side. The Astromund walks out. Another Astromudn runs up to Trogador.}

ASTROMUND: You coulda stopped 'em! You coulda'!

TROGADOR: {looks into camera} Not my problem.

{Cut to an alleyway. Just your typical alleyway. It's night. Trogador and Steamboat Troggie stand in the alleyway, wearing tuxedos.}

TROGADOR (VOICE): Then, when I was just a little 9 years old boy, disastert struck. We went to an opera or a fancy party or something but decided to leave for some reason or another I'll get the writers to fill in.

{The Astromund that robbed the store walks up to them.}

ASTROMUND: Hey fine gentlemen. I'm here to rob you.

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: Put down the gun!

ASTROMUND: Oh, that's right, my gun! Knew I was forgetting something!

{The Astromund pulls out a pistol and shoots Steamboat Troggie in the foot. He falls over. The Astromund runs away. Trogador drops down to his knees.}

TROGADOR: Noooooooooooooooooo....

STEAMBOAT TROGGIE: I'm still alive, son.

TROGADOR: ...oooooooooooooooo!

{cut back to The Living Room of Mount Stinko.}

TROGADOR: As you can see, I've had a very hard life and it drives me to do what I do.

XERADOR: You know what, I'm not even gonna point out all the flaws in that.

TROGADOR: Good. Now, my next step in becoming a hero is to get training. I don't want to do the self training thing, so do you know any good trainers?

XERADOR: There is one. Up in The Ice Zone, at the top of the tallest mountain.

TROGADOR: Okay, I'll be back by dinner.

{Trogador walks out of the room. Cut to outside of a cabin in the Ice Zone. Trogador walks up to the cabin's front door and knocks. A small rectangular piece of the door slides over to show An Ice Machine's eyes.}

THE SUPPOSED AN ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE IS WONDERING WHO IT IS AT THE DOOR.

TROGADOR: I'm here for training. I've been instructed to meet a...Rahs al Ice Machine?

{The door opens. Nobody stands there. Trogador enters. Cut to the inside, which is a small dojo-esque room with a blue mat on the floor. Rahs al Ice Machine, An Ice Machine with a pointy gray goatee, stands on one end of the mat. Trogador walks up to the other end.}

TROGADOR: Are you Rahs al Ice Machine?

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE DOES NOT THINK THERE IS TIME FOR TALK. RAHS AL ICE MACHINE THINKS THERE IS TIME FOR TRAINING.

{Rahs al Ice Machine takes a samurai sword out of thin air. He then takes another one and throws it to Trogador, who catches it.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE THINKS WE START NOW!

{Rahs al Ice Machine jumps forward and starts to wave his sword wildly. Trogador, visibly frightened, steps back, defending himself.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RA RA RA RA RA RA RA RA
TROGADOR: Stop it! Dude, I didn't sign up for this! Stop, please!

{Trogador stabs Rahs al Ice Machine on the teeth. he throws his sword behind him and steps back.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: IT IS RAHS AL ICE MACHINE'S OPINION THAT YOU HAVE DONE WELL. YOU ARE A CERTIFIED MASTER OF COMBAT.

{Rahs al Ice Machine takes out a small gold certificate and pins it on Trogador.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE WILL BE GOING TO SLEEP IN A LUXURY BED NOW. YOU, HOWEVER, MUST SLEEP ON BALES OF HAY.

{The camera pans back to show stairs and next to them a large pile of hay.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE'S LESSONS SHALL RESUME IN THE MORNING.

{Rahs al Ice Machine walks up the stairs. Trogador goes to lay down on the hay.}

TROGADOR: Well, this is pretty crappy...but all great heroes have to face adversity!

{Trogador takes off the certificate.}

TROGADOR: You know, I'm awfully hungry...

{Trogador eats the certificate and then lays his head back. A few seconds later he springs up, breathing fire. He falls off the hay, which is on fire. The fire spreads to the rest of that side of the cabin. Rahs al Ice Machine comes running down the stairs wearing a yellow bathrobe.}

RAHS AL ICE MACHINE: RAHS AL ICE MACHINE DOES NOT PERMIT ARSON IN RAHS AL ICE MAHINE'S HOME!

{Rahs al Ice Machine falls over, unconcious.}

TROGADOR: Aw, crap, now I have to save him from the fire...

{Trogador walks up to Rahs al Ice Machine and slowly drags him out of the cabin. A loud grinding noise is heard as he does so.}

{cut to The Living Room. Harold, Kray, and Drew sit on the couch. Trogador walks in.}

TROGADOR: Hello, gentlemen! You're in the same room as a certified fighter guy!

KRAY: Certified, eh? Where's tha' certificate then?

TROGADOR: Well, I...uhh...that's a...never you mind where the certificate is, you dirty Kerrek. All that's important is that I'm one step closer to becoming a superhero!

DREW: What's the third step?

TROGADOR: Get a costume with some gadgets maybe, and then go kick some villain butt.

HAROLD: Where do you get a costume?

TROGADOR: I dunno, the mail?

HAROLD: Is that what that is?

{The camera pans over to the left to show a large wooden crate in the room.}

TROGADOR: Probably, let me go see!

{Trogador grabs the crate and exits the room. A few seconds later he walks back in, wearing full red body arm covering all parts, except for the mouth/nose and eyes. He also wears a red cape.}

TROGADOR: What do you think?

DREW: It's amazing! It's great! Where am I?

TROGADOR: Thanks, Drew. Now, let's go test this bad boy out!

{Trogador runs out of the room.}

HAROLD: He's gonna get killed.

KRAY: Yep.

{cut to a rooftop in Challenge City. 1-Up stands on it. Trogador jumps onto the rooftop and wheezes for a few seconds. He then walks over to 1-Up.}

TROGADOR: Hey, 1-Up. I'm a superhero now. What are you doing on this rooftop?

1-UP: Loitering!

TROGADOR: Oh, okay. Do you know any criminals that need some beating up?

1-UP: There's some mean gang guy in this warehouse on the East Side.

TROGADOR: Which one?

1-UP: You'll have to find it!

{Trogador groans. He steps back and starts to run. A crashing noise is heard.}

{cut to the inside of a warehouse. A few crates line the background. A purple Nebulon with red spots stands on the right wall, looking at it.}

THAT ONE NEBULON: This wall sure is great.

{Trogador runs into the room, panting. The Nebulon turns around.}

TROGADOR: Alright, fiend, I'm here to-Nebulon?

THAT ONE NEBULON: Oh no no, I'm not Nebulon. I haven't been Nebulon ever since they kidnapped me and tortured me and somehow made my skin purple. I saw ter-

TROGADOR: I've heard this speech before, can you just get to whatever you're saying?

THAT ONE NEBULON: Oh. Well then. {sniffs} I'm not Nebulon. I am....Magnebo! But don't you just think that's a cool name, Mr...

TROGADOR: Oh, um...I'm...Dragonman!

MAGNEBO: Mm, clever. But it's more than a name, Dragonman. I came out of the torture sessions with a power...a fearsome power.

{Magnebo takes out a refrigerator magnet and throws it over to Trogador.}

MAGNEBO: I can control magnets!

{Magnebo throws a few more at Trogador.}

MAGNEBO: Take that!

{Magnebo continues to throw magnets at Trogador. Trogador sighs and walks up to Magnebo. He then picks him and holds him by the eye-stalk thing.}

MAGNEBO: How...how are you resistant?!?

TROGADOR: Because you have a really crappy "power".

{Suddenly, the roof flies off of the building. Nebulon points up at the hole.}

MAGNEBO: Hey, uh, {nervously chuckles} maybe you should go...go look at that, hmmm?

TROGADOR: You're off the hook for now, Magnebo. But if I ever see you or one of your gangsters ever again, I'm sending you back to the moon.

MAGNEBO: Oh, really? I liked it there. How, rockets? Spaceships?

TROGADOR: No, no, see...I'm gonna punch you...really hard...so you fly up and land on the-

MAGNEBO: Oh, okay, I get it. Ow, man, that would hurt! You're a jerk, you know?

{Trogador flies through the hole.}

MAGNEBO: {brushes himself} Geez, some people these days...

{cut to another warehouse. This one has a large machine with glowing lights in the center. The Liekand, wearing a black leather jacket, hovers up to the machine.}

THE LIEKAND?: These twisters I'm making sure are awesome!

{Trogador crashes through the ceiling.}

TROGADOR: Alright, Liekand, what's the deal with the twisters?

THE LIEKAND?: First off, you fiend, I'm not The Liekand anymore. I'm a doctor now. Doctor Twisterpun, to be precise. And second off, these things are awesome!

TROGADOR: You're causing desctruction and possibly death for fun?

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: Heck yes!

{Trogador walks over to Doctor Twisterpun and throws him onto the machine, breaking it.}

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: Dude, why did you {cough} do that? These things are expensive! I'm gonna get my revenge, you hear me? Revenge!

{Trogador flies out of the building. Cut to him flying in front of a tall, black skyscraper.}

TROGADOR: You know, I'm not an expert, but I know an evil building when I see one.

{Trogador crashes through the tallest window and into a large office. Ekersby sits in a desk, wearing a blue business suit.}

EKERSBY: Who the crap are you?

TROGADOR: Who the crap are you?

EKERSBY: I'm Ek Luthor, the leading industrialist of Challenge City. And you just broke my diamond glass window!

TROGADOR: Wait...that doesn't even make sense...and where's your speecH impediment?

EK LUTHOR: Psh, you don't think people don't grow out of those. I want you to pay for the window!

TROGADOR: What? No way, man, if you make your buildings evil looking you're gonna have to expect superheroes!

EK LUTHOR: Your reasoning is stupid! You're stupid! Pay for my stupid windows!

TROGADOR: Yeah, no.

{Trogador spits at Ek and flies back out of the window. Cut to the Living Room. Clyde sits on the couch and Trogador walks in, not wearing his costume.}

TROGADOR: Oh, hey, Clyde. What are you watching?

CLYDE: This politician guy. Harvax Dent.

{cut to the TV screen. Harvax stands at a podium in a black suit, talking. Cut back to Trogador.}

TROGADOR: Bah, that guy's boring. Have you heard of that new superhero fighting all those criminals on the street, Dragonman?

CLYDE: New superhero, eh? Well, that sounds...mighty interesting.

{cut to a warehouse. A small square table is in the center of this room. Magnebo sits on the left side. Doctor Twisterpun sits in the center. Ek Luthor sits on the right side.}

EK LUTHOR: I have called this meeting to discuss our newest foe, the Dragonman.

MAGNEBO: He made me look stupid in front of my gang! And my gang is just a pink Astromund and a sarcastic Chorch, so I look pretty stupid!

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: He stood in the way of science and destroyed my lab!

EK LUTHOR: And he broke my window and spat on my floor!

{The other two gasp.}

MAGNEBO: Well, my gang isn't strong enough to combat him alone. Or at all.

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: My machines are all broken and I'm not a very competent fighter.

EK LUTHOR: Despite being a shady businessman, I have no connections that could kill this threat.

OUTSIDE: Ha ha hee hoo hee heh ho ho ho ha ha hee hee...

{A ghost that looks exactly like Clyde hovers in, except this ghost is wearing a purple suit, white make-up, black make-up around the eyes, and has green hair.}

GHOST: Evening, gentleman.

MAGNEBO: And who are you?

GHOST: I'm just a Clown having a little fun, Neby!

EK LUTHOR: Explain yourself before we kill you, you stupid Clown.

CLOWN: Harsh, Ecky...I'm aware of your predic-a-ment, all of you. This Dragonman, he's trouble to all of us. A year ago, these...cops and lawyers...they would still beat the crap out of you, but at least there wasn't some guy in a dragon costume running around!

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: What do you propose we do, then?

CLOWN: It's simple...kill the Dragonman.

{Everybody starts nodding.}

MAGNEBO: That actually sounds like a solid plan, I'm for that.
DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: How come I didn't think of that?
EK LUTHOR: I'd be all for taking that route, actually.

MAGNEBO: Wait...how are we supposed to actually kill him?

CLOWN: Well, I'm sure you're all aware of the Challenge Asylum on the outskirts of town. I sure am!

{Clown starts laughing. Everybody nervously looks around. Clown continues to laugh for a few seconds and then clears his throat.}

CLOWN: Anyways, there are a few choice residents of that asylum...real psychos. And you believe me, if you arm a psycho, they'll get the job done!

MAGNEBO: Are we gonna do anything?

CLOWN: What do you think I am, a machine? Of course! Neby, you and your gang will break us in and guard the entrance. Doc, disable the security systems. Ecky, get us a good ride for the getaway. I'll handle those special boys myself.

{cut to an asylum hallway. Something crashes and makes a loud noise. An alarm goes off briefly and then shuts down. Clown runs through the hall to a door, which he kicks open somehow. He stands in the doorway of the room and the camera pans over, showing Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, and a blue Saargtsson in straightjackets.}

TAMPO: There'll be a little machine and I'll put in all the TVs and then I'll steal all their knowledge and I'll be the biggest brain around.

BRODY: Kill the babies! All of em! Kill 'em all!

STLUNKO: We'll steal a little machine and use my fear juice to mess around with the water supply and turn all the water into gas and make everybody afraid or something like that!

SAARGTSSON: Kick some ice!

CLOWN: These guys are almost crazier than I am...heh. I made a funny, didn't I?

{cut to The Living Room. Doc is sitting on the couch. Trogador walks in.}

TROGADOR: Where's Clyde?

{Doc shurgs.}

{cut to the warehouse seen before. Clown and Magnebo are talking.}

MAGNEBO: Oh, man, this is gonna be awesome! I prepped up my gang, they're all excited for this!

CLOWN: Yes, well, hopefully they won't even have to deal with our pal.

{Clown starts to hover away.}

MAGNEBO: Where ya going?

CLOWN: Just tying up some...loose ends...

{cut to a dimly lit office. Harvax Dent sits at a desk, writing something down. Behind him is a large window. The lights flicker off.}

HARVAX DENT: Hello?

{The lights flicker back on, showing Clown standing there, holding a knife. Harvax Dent gets up.}

CLOWN: Hello, Harvey. Didn't think I forgot about ya, I hope?

HARVAX DENT: Listen, Clown. I'm sick of all these death-threats you've been sending me. The buck stops right here.

CLOWN: {inhales} If that's what you want, Harvey.

{Clown jumps onto the desk, swinging the knife. Harvax Dent, not actually hit, stumbles back and falls out the window. A crashing noise is heard. Clown runs up to the window and looks down.}

CLOWN: Woah, Harvey, are you alright?! Listen, I didn't mean to kill ya...yet...I'm just joking around!

{cut down to Harvax Dent. He is lying down so you can't see any of his left side.}

HARVAX DENT: Ooh, that was a doozy...

{Harvax Dent gets up and we see that his face on the left side is covered with mud. The left side of his suit is ruined too.}

HARVAX DENT: Oh, wh-what the crap, man! This is an expensive suit! And my face-my face! It's hard to get mud out when you have purple skin! This is where the buck stops, for sure. Starting now, anybody that crosses me is gonna have to pay for it!

{Harvax Dent pulls out a large gun and runs away. Cut back to Clown, standing by the window.}

CLOWN: Huh. That worked out nicely.

{Clown hovers away. Cut to a city street. Astromunds are walking around when gunshots are fired. Clown comes running in front of the screen, shooting, with the front side of his body obscured. He runs up to a building, back to the camera. Trogador, dressed as Dragonman, falls on top of him. He then picks him up.}

TROGADOR: Alright Clyde, I know that-

{He turns Clown around to find that it's just a generic robot on the front.}

TROGADOR: What the cr-

{The robot explodes and sends Trogador flying up to a rooftop. He lands and Brody walks next to him, laughing. He is wearign a black tophat, black jacket, and a monocle.}

BRODY: Oh ha ha, you are a very funny hero, you know.

TROGADOR: {gets up and coughs} Brody? What's with the stupid get-up?

BRODY: My correct name is Broderick Clucklefoot III, yes. But you may just call me The Chicken. That was a life ago.

TROGADOR: That doesn't explain the outfi-

THE CHICKEN: Everybody has to have a gimmick stupid!

TROGADOR: Oh. Do you have a gang backing you too?

THE CHICKEN: Just that robot. Which exploded.

TROGADOR: Well this should be easy.

{Trogador jumps at The Chicken and starts hitting him.}

TROGADOR: {hitting The Chicken.} Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

THE CHICKEN: This ends now!

{The Chicken pulls out an umbrella and aims it at Trogador.}

TROGADOR: Are you supposed to shoot me with that?

THE CHICKEN: No, I was supposed to throw this at you and attempt to run away.

{The Chicken throws the umbrella at Trogador and runs off. A few seconds later, Trogador falls through the floor and into a dark room. A green mist is floating around.}

TAMPO'S VOICE: Hello, my dragon friend! I knew letting that fool bring you to me would work.

TROGADOR: {gets up} Where are you?

TAMPO'S VOICE: I'm not coming out to tell you! You'll have to find me with my hard to figure out but easy once you know them brainteasers, for I am...The Brainteaster! Dun dun duuuun!

TROGADOR: ...did you just make the "dun dun dun" sound?

THE BRAINTEASER: ...yeah, what about it?

TROGADOR: Out of all these villains I've faced, you're the lamest, definitely.

THE BRAINTEASER: Aww, come on man, are you sure? There are lamer guys than me, definitely.

TROGADOR: No, you take the cake. The lame cake. It's a cake without any frosting.

THE BRAINTEASER: Oh, you wanna say that to my face, tough guy?

TROGADOR: Sure.

{A previously invisible door opens. Tampo, wearing a black one piece with a green question mark on it, comes hovering out.}

THE BRAINTEASER: Alright, ace, let's do th-

{Trogador punches The Brainteaser and sends him flying through the building. Trogador notices some stairs and walks down them. The next room looks like a therapist's office. Trogador shrugs and goes to sit on the couch. A few seconds later, Stlunko comes running in, waving his fists. He is wearing a large burlap sack over his "face".}

STLUNKO: I am the Stluncrow! Boogity-boogity! Snakes, spiders, sharks, slimy things! Ghosts, werewolves, failure, fear itself! Boo!

{Stluncrow stops waving his fists and looks down.}

STLUNCROW: Fear gimmick's not working, is it?

TROGADOR: Not really.

{Stluncrow starts hitting himself. Trogador gets off the couch and walks over to some stairs. He walks down them dur. The next room is just an empty fray room. Saargtsson is squirming in the middle of it, shouting.}

SAARGTSSON: Ice to meet you gentleman! Kick some ice! Ice to meet you gentleman!

{Trogador walks out of the room. On the streets, he sees Magnebo talking to Doctor Twisterpun.}

MAGNEBO: ...so then I was like, "Fine, quit, nobody else will employ you anyways!" And then it turns out he's now a succesful novelist and-

DOCTOR TWISTERPUN: Code D, man, turn around!

{Magnebo turns around and screams. He picks up Doctor Twisterpun and throws him at Trogador. Doctor Twisterpun just bounces off of him. Magnebo scurries into a nearby construction site. Trogador walks into the construction site to find Clown there.}

CLOWN: At last we properly meet, Dragonman!

TROGADOR: Cut the crap, Clyde. I know it's you.

CLOWN: Of course it's me, silly Trogador! But we aren't here for identity purposes!

TROGADOR: I am! Why are you dressing up like a clown and being all pyscho?

CLOWN: Listen, Trog. Things in this place, they're boring. No video games. No movies. And no internet either! You have to make your own fun here.

TROGADOR: When people say "make your own fun", they don't mean "dress up like a clown and go on rampages"!

CLOWN: Says you!

{Trogador starts to walk away.}

TROGADOR: I'm done with this. I can't get any quality villains.

CLOWN: Wait! There's a murderous Harvax rampaging in the city!

TROGADOR: Let somebody else take care of it.

CLOWN: You're a terrible hero, you know that?

{Trogador walks out of the construction site.}

CLOWN: Well I never.

{cut to The Living Room, 20X8. Everybody is sitting on the couch.}

DREW: I think we're forgetting something...

JOHN: Oh, crap, Trogador! He's in the future!

CLYDE: That fat dragon can wait, this is a marathon.

JOHN: Yeah, you're probably right.

MASTER Z: Wait, the TV isn't even turned o-

{Everybody makes the shh noise angrily.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

Due to huge amount of references, this is in sections.

Comic Books - Actual Books

  • Trogador's origin story is a combination of Superman's, Spiderman's, and Batman's.
  • The "being born origin story" refers to the origin stories of Mutants, who are depicted as a minority group with superpowers.
  • A retcon is when a previous event is changed to have been negated. This commonly happens with deaths.
  • The character of Rahs al Ice Machine is a reference to the character of Rahs al Ghul, a longimte nemesis of Batman.
  • The character of Magnebo is a parody of the character Magneto, the X-Men's arch nemesis.
  • Doctor Twisterpun is a reference to the character of Doctor Octopus, a Spider-Man nemesis, and how The Liekand's jobs usually involve twisters and/or puns.
  • Ek Luthor is an obvious parody of Lex Luthor, Superman's archnemesis.
  • Basically, all of the bosses are parodies of established comic book villains. So I don't need to keep on typing that.

Comic Books - Films

  • The main plot of this email is modeled after The Dark Knight, a recent (as of now) Batman film.
  • "Not my problem" is taken directly from the first Spider-Man movie.
  • Trogador seeks out training with Rahs al Ice Machine, just as Bruce Wayne did with Rahs al Ghul in Batman Begins.
  • What the four bosses are screaming are the actual plans of the villains from the original Batman series of films, except for Stlunko, which is a reference to the plot of Batman Begins. Except for Saargtsson. His ice-puns are all references to the Joel Shumacher version of Mr. Freeze, which was notable for the many puns.

Other References