Other Character Email Trogador/island

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 022: Island
Back in 20X8, Trogador and the gang (minus Trogador) discover Bubs's dark secret. And Clyde commits some felonies while we're at it.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 30X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA" The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Kitchen, 20X8. The fridge is tipped over and empty cereal boxes are thrown around in stacks. Kray bursts out from under one of the stacks and yawns. The fridge flips over and Clyde comes out from where it was. Drew walks in, horrified.}

DREW: What have you done to my kitchen?

KRAY: What? Arr...I dun...I...

{Kray falls over. Clyde falls asleep and starts to snore. John walks in and up to Drew.}

JOHN: I see they cleared out our kitchen midnight snacking, eh?

DREW: I am in so much shock I haven't even begun to evaluate this, John.

JOHN: Yeah well, that's what happened. And that's all the food we had...even supplies...

DREW: Are you saying I can't cook?!?

JOHN: Relax. We'll go down to Bubs's, pick up some food and supplies, and then you can make us all a meal.

DREW: Well...that does sound nice.

{cut to the outside of Bubs's Wares. Bubs is absent. Kray, John, Clyde, Drew, and Z walk up to the store.}

JOHN: Hey Bubs, we're here to buy stuff!

MASTER Z: I don't think he's here, Johnathan.

JOHN: Don't call me that.

KRAY: Bubs, mate, gettoutta there! We won't bite!

CLYDE: I will, I'm still hungry.

DREW: You ate all the food and my cooking supplies!

CLYDE: I'm a growing boy!

DREW: You're 38!

CLYDE: I'm a growing middle-aged ghost!

JOHN: Come on, guys, maybe he's around back.

{They walk around to the back of Bubs's Wares, which is just a brown wall with a small Bubs shaped door and a window.}

MASTER Z: Well, he isn't here.

KRAY: Where does eh live, anyways?

DREW: Doesn't he live here?

CLYDE: There's not enough room, idiot.

JOHN: I'm pretty sure he does live here, Clyde.

CLYDE: Yeah well, let's see.

{Clyde jumps through the window.}

JOHN: Clyde, no, I didn't want you to break in!

CLYDE (VOICE): Eh, too late. Wow...this place is nice. Good entryway, few hallways branching down, self-portrait...Bubs must be loaded!

KRAY: Really?

CLYDE (VOICE): No, idiots, this is an empty room. Except for a few boxes. And a hole. You know, I think I'm gonna steal some of these boxes.

JOHN: No, Clyde, no, just get out of there!

CLYDE (VOICE): Shut up, John! listen, without Trogador, we're as poor as dirt. And now we have to eat. Normally I would eat one of you while you slept, but you're all nasty and I bet you all taste terrible.

DREW: Thank you!

JOHN: Clyde, we aren't stealing any-argh! Somebody help me open this door.

{Kray picks up John and throws him at the door. The door busts open and John rolls in. Everybody else walks into Bubs's Wares. Clyde's decription is accurate - it is an empty gray room with a few stacks of boxes on the wall and a large hole in the center. Clyde is struggling with the boxes and John gets up off the floor.}

JOHN: Gee, thanks for that, Kray.

KRAY: You said yeh wanted tha door open!

JOHN: Regardless of that, Clyde, you can't steal these boxes!

CLYDE: One more word out of you and I will destroy all of you! I'm not kidding, go look at the hole or something.

{Everybody gathers around the hole.}

KRAY: Tha' sure is a hole.

JOHN: I wonder how it got here.

DREW: I want to know where it leads to.

MASTER Z: Well, let's find out.

{Master Z takes out a small green grenade. He fumbles with it and drops it in the hole.}

MASTER Z: Oh, well, either we're all screwed or-

{The grenade explodes and the center of the room collapses. Everybody but Clyde falls down the hole. Clyde runs over to the newly-grown hole.}

CLYDE: Hey, awesome! I call all your rooms!

{cut to a beach. A jungle is off in the background. Everybody that fell down the hole lies on the beach, gasping for air. John crawls over to Master Z and starts to hit him.}

JOHN: {out of breath} Why would you...why would you do that?!

MASTER Z: In the name of science, my dear {cough} Johnathan! I would presume a scientist like yourself would know that!

KRAY: Ev'rabody, stop the bick-ar-in'! We need ta get outta here, and get outta here soon!

JOHN: As much as I would like to investigate why there's an entire large island underneath Bubs's store, Kray's right, we need to figure out a way to get out of here.

MASTER Z: Andrew, can't you-

DREW: My full name is Drew.

MASTER Z: Drew, can't you fly? You could bring us up to the hole, one-by-one.

DREW: I could do that...if I could see where this hole was! I'm not flying around the sky for ten hours trying to find a tiny hole.

MASTER Z: But it's directly abo-

DREW: I don't trust you!

MASTER Z: Just look u-

DREW: My neck hurts!

JOHN: Well, I guess we'll have to find another way to get out of here...and that means investigating!

{John eagerly runs offscreen. Everybody else groans. Cut to the shore. A message in a bottle lies in the sand. John runs over and picks it up.}

JOHN: Hey, a message in a bottle!

{John takes the message out.}

Hey trogador,
Have you seen my the cheat, albino? If you had, please click the link below. It definatially doesnt link to a locked bubs consession stand.
Worrying,
Zoo977 {:])
Time_Travel.exe

JOHN: Hey, it's addressed to Trogador! And it's about that little white The Cheat that Kray almost killed us all over!

{Everybody walks up.}

KRAY: Kojak? That little chap? Ah sold 'em to Bubs...di'int see 'em in there though. Woulda' heard 'em if he was in the boxes.

JOHN: Well, I doubt we'll meet up with Kojak ever again. {John crumples up the message and holds the bottle. He takes a piece of paper and a pen out and starts writing on the paper.}

MASTER Z: What are you doing?

JOHN: I'll send an SOS to the world! I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle...

{John stops writing and puts the message in the bottle.}

JOHN: Okay, who here has the best throw?

KRAY: Give it ta me.

{Kray takes the bottle. He throws it a few meters away. Upon impact it breaks.}

JOHN: Well, Plan B is off. Anybody have a Plan C?

KRAY: Build a flyin' spaceship?

DREW: Resort to cannibalism?

MASTER Z: Create a small city here consisting of us and any other cursed denizens we find on this island?

JOHN: Those are all pretty bad. Let's go into the jungle, I bet we could find some stairs or something that lead us up there.

MASTER Z: Don't you think it's dangerous?

JOHN: Stop being so afraid, Z, there's nothing in there!

{cut to the inside of a dungeon. Everybody is chained to the wall.}

MASTER Z: {in a mocking voice} Stop being so afraid, Z, there's nothing in there! {normal voice} Bah, you should listen to me more often, I'm the one that could lead an entire army of freaks and monsters!

JOHN: You were overthrown, Z!

MASTER Z: That's besides the point!

KRAY: How tha crap did we get'tin here?

DREW: I would like to know that too.

{An Astromund wearing a green leaf skirt walks in.}

TRIBESMAN 1: The Ritual is now, prisoners. Unchain yourselves and follow me.

JOHN: Wait, we could unchain ourselves this whole time?

{Everybody's chains click and they all fall down. They then follow the Tribesman out of the dungeon and into a shrine like room, where Kojak sits on a throne of skulls.}

KRAY: Ay, Kojak!

{The Tribesman hits Kray on the head.}

TRIBESMAN 1: We do not refer to him by his name! He is only The Master!

DREW: So what do we do in this Ritual?

TRIBESMAN 1: You will all be set on fire and killed. Afterwards, our glorious Master shall feast on you, merging your soul with The Master's.

JOHN: {walks over to the throne} Yeah...I'm not much of one for getting set on fire and then eaten, sorry.

{John takes Kojak off the throne and throws him into the dungeon.}

JOHN: Run!

{Everybody but the Tribesman run offscreen to the right.}

TRIBESMAN 1: Somebody, activate The Boulder!

{Crickets chirp.}

TRIBESMAN 1: Oh...yeah...I'm the only worshiper of The Master. {sighs} I really should go door-to-door...

{Everybody runs into a hallway. A boulder is behind them. They hear cracking and start to run towards the camera, which continues to move back. The boulder soon follows them. After about ten second of running, everything goes to slow motion. About 15 seconds after the switch, they begun to jump forward and the boulder explodes. The entire screen is covered with a gray mist. The mist goes away quickly and we see John in a jungle clearing, laying on a rock, coughing. A box is next to him.}

JOHN: {gets up} There...there was an explosion...Kray! Drew! Z! Anybody!

{John falls down to his knees.}

JOHN: They...they must be dead...{yelling to the sky} Why!?

{John gets up and walks over the box. He opens it to find several guns inside.}

JOHN: {gasps} Weapons! I can fight for myself...fight those tribal lunatics...avenge my fallen friends...

{John takes out a large gun and shoots at the sky. He then runs offscreen, shooting. Cut to behind Bubs's. Everybody is standing by the door, and the windows aren't broken.}

JOHN: ...and then I would slay an entire religion.

CLYDE: All of that will happen if I break into Bubs's?

JOHN: Yes.

CLYDE: Yeah well, good riddance, scumbags, I call all your rooms!

{Clyde jumps through the window. An alarm sounds off. An Astromund wearing a police uniform with a brown wig on runs up.}

ASTORMUND: Officer Adolf "TJ" Hooker. What seems to be the problem here?

KRAY: Were you named for shock value?
JOHN: Clyde, our, our...uhh...person we've never met, he broke in and...yes.

ADOLF: On it.

{Adolf runs in and screams. Clyde starts screaming too. Shots are fired. Everything goes silent. A few seconds later Adolf runs out, pushing Clyde on that push-thing-Hannibal-Lecter-wore-once-with-a-straitjacket-and-muzzle.}

ADOLF: Alright, this little pain was trying to make off with some boxes. That's not really a crime ever since President Manson was up with the big shots, but he also bit me, so I'm locking him up for a week.

{Clyde yells from underneath his muzzle.}

DREW: Bye Clyde, have fun at prison!

{Adolf carts Clyde away. Cut to The Living Room of Mount Stinko, 30X8. Trogador is sitting on the couch. Xerador is in the chair.}

TROGADOR: Hey, do you think anything's going on back home?

XERADOR: Doubt it.

THE END!

Fun Facts

• Some of the lines directly after answering the email are taken from one of The Police's most famous song, Message in a Bottle.
• The boulder scene parodies not only some Indiana Jones movie, but also cliches of old action movies.
• ADOLF HITLER GET IT
  
• TJ HOOKER GET IT
  
• And by the way, he was named by Jesty and Bluebry - Adolf and TJ Hooker respectively.

Other Character Email Trogador
video games | redux | band | dwelling | trogdor | random | realty | fandom | different town | pluto | tennis | life | mustache | fat | rodagore | comedy | albino | da kidz | sports | time travel | superhero | island | best email ever | mind control