Other Character Email Trogador/mustache

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 013: Mustache
Trogador grows a mustache to by stylish, but his facial hair encounters competition.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON DID QUESTIONABLE THINGS WITH QUESTIONABLE PEOPLE. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Living Room. Trogador walks over to the computer, which Clyde is at.}

TROGADOR: 'Sup Clyd-

CLYDE: SHHHHHH I'M WATCHING K5!

TROGADOR: What's a K4?

CLYDE: Kool Kids Kvideo Kgames Konvention!

TROGADOR: But some of those aren't even words!

CLYDE: Shut up, jerk! I'm focusing on my live feed for the new Realm of Revengeance downloadable content!

TROGADOR: What the crap is that supposed to mean?

CLYDE: Listen, Trog. Video games are to be taken seriously. Why don't you go film a new episode of your silly indie show instead of pestering the grown-ups?

TROGADOR: Hey, now wait a sec-

CLYDE: {in a deep, demonic voice} I will end your puny existence if you say another word.

{Trogador slowly backs up.}

{cut to Trogador's Nest. He is laying down in it with the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Emailing never felt so good!

TROGADOR: Well, Running Gag, I must admit I did consider having a mustache when I was 10, but that was in the 1970's. The times have changed. If anything, I would get gigantic spiky hair.

{Suddenly, an all green Rumble Red appears next to Trogador.}

ALL-GREEN RUMBLE RED: Hello, bumbly!

TROGADOR: {gasps} Glorious Green! I thought you died when I was 13!

GLORIOUS GREEN: No way, bumbly! I just lived the rush of the 70's!

TROGADOR: And the 80's through now?

GLORIOUS GREEN: Things happen in the Green Light District, bumbly!

TROGADOR: Well, what do you want?

GLORIOUS GREEN: I just came to remind you of all your childhood dreams!

TROGADOR: You want me to chase after my dream of being an accomplished singer?

GLORIOUS GREEN: No, bumbly! You need to grow a mustache!

TROGADOR: But why would I do that?

GLORIOUS GREEN: Do you doubt the word of the Glorious Green?

TROGADOR: {frantically gets up} No, no, I remember what happened last time! I'll get to that mustache straight away!

{Trogador runs out. A few seconds later, Glorious Green disappears, and Master Z and Kray walk forward with a projector.}

MASTER Z: I knew I'd get some use out of this one of these days...

{cut to The Laboratory. John is reading a book when Trogador walks in.}

TROGADOR: Geez, John, all you seem to do in here is read instead of laboratoring!

JOHN: I'm reading up on the downfalls of dictatorships in past society.

TROGADOR: {sighs} Still that Revolution crap? Can't you relax for a little while?

JOHN: I have been relaxing. I've been slacking off, going on all these misadventures with you. But that time ends here.

TROGADOR: Before you swear off fun, can you help me find an instant mustache growing tonic?

JOHN: Eww, you want a mustache? A red dragon doesn't need to be any more gaudy...

TROGADOR: Do you have the stuff or not?

{John reaches into one of his labcoat pockets and tosses a small green bottle to Trogador.}

JOHN: Dab that on...wherever dragons grow mustaches.

{Trogador opens up the bottle and pours some beneath his nose...area. He then falls over, gagging. John turns around, away from his book.}

JOHN: Aww man, don't tell me I mixed up the Tortan and Mustache Tonic...

{Trogador stops gagging and gets up. He now has a bushy, cowboy-esque brown mustache.}

TROGADOR: Do I...do I have a mustache?

JOHN: See for yourself.

{John pulls a small mirror out of his pocket and tosses it to Trogador. He grabs it and looks in it.}

TROGADOR: {gasps} Neat!

JOHN: So, what are you gonna do now, tough facial hair guy?

TROGADOR: Think I might go show this off at a classy restaurant. Wanna go eat at Blubbo's?

JOHN: Aww, what the heck, the end of the world as we know it can wait.

{cut to The Living Room. Clyde sits at the computer, staring obsessively at the screen. Trogador and the Rest of Co. walk in.}

TROGADOR: Hey Clyde, wanna go eat at-

CLYDE: Shut it, kid, they just announced Metallic Alien Warrior Tennis expansion packs, I need to blog.

TROGADOR: Your loss.

{cut to a sky-blue building with a giant Drive-Thru Whale (without the drive-thru post) on top of it. Double doors are on one side, and above them is "Blubbo's" written in a cartoony sea-blue font."KILROY WAS HERE" is spray-painted on the side of the building. Trogador and Co. minus Clyde walk up and enter the building.}

{On the inside, Blubbo's is your standard fast food restaurant - dirty floors, a counter with two bored Astromunds dressed in blue, and blue tables with food left on them. A horde of Astromunds are crowding around something.}

TROGADOR: Hey everybody, get a load of my new mustache!

{Crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: Let's all see the cool dragon's mustache now, guys!

{More crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: Ten bucks for anybody that looks at me.

{Even more crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: {sigh} I gotta find out what these kids are flipping out about.

{Trogador pushes through the crowd to find Tampo with a mustache identical to Trogador's.}

TROGADOR: {gasp} Tampo!

TAMPO: Hello, Trogador. I see you've emulated my style.

TROGADOR: No way, jerk! You stole my good looks!

TAMPO: Just admit it, Trogador, you're shameful, waste of space.

TROGADOR: Well yes, I fully acknowledge that, but I don't see what they has to do with my original mustache...

TAMPO: {chuckles} Oh, Trogador. You're such a simpleton. I wish I was as careless and uninformed as you.

TROGADOR: Simpleton? Are you making fun of my weight?

TAMPO: I gotta lose this lame guy, bros. I'll be off in the bathroom.

{Tampo hovers over to the bathroom and enters it. Trogador distgruntledly walks back to his friends.}

MASTER Z: Ouch. Tough crowd.

TROGADOR: I swear, that's the last straw for that Tampo jerk...why, I have half a mind to go in there and mug the crap out of that brain.

KRAY: Five bucks if ye do.

{Trogador walks back over to the bathroom. He enters.}

TROGADOR: Hey brain-boy, I have a message for you!

{The camera pans out to reveal that the bathroom isn't a bathroom - instead, beakers with brown stuff in them lie on tables. A sign on the wall says "TAMPO'S PUDDING FACTORY".}

TROGADOR: Hmm...thanks to the aid of my detective skills, I can safely assume this is a pudding factory.

{Trogador gasps.}

TROGADOR: That fiend! He must use this whole Blubbo's as a pudding lab! The next time I see him, he's getting a face full of-

{Tampo hovers up to Trogador.}

TAMPO: Yeah, actually, I own this place. So what do you want?

TROGADOR: Hmm? Oh, nothing.

{cut to outside of Blubbo's. Trogador's friends are outside and Trogador walks out.}'

JOHN: So how many murders took place?

TROGADOR: None. This is much deeper than I previously thought. And there's only one person that can help me...

{cut to The Living Room of Stinko HQ. It's basically the tv with the chair in it you always see. 1-Up stands next to the chair, with Trogador talking to him.}

TROGADOR: Thanks for letting me in, 1-Up.

1-UP: Do you wanna see my train station?

TROGADOR: Uhh..no, I came with a mission.

{Suddenly, an empty Tortan bottle flies at Trogador. He ducks. Stinkoman walks up to him, wearing a stained wifebeater and having stubble on his chin.}

STINKOMAN: A mission, eh? Well, back in...back...back in my day, I would go on all sorts of missin's...but that all ended when YOU stole my job, dragon...I feel like...feel like...feel...

{Stinkoman falls over and starts snoring.}

TROGADOR: What the...how can he drink Tortan?

1-UP: All robots like Tortan! it's yummy in their robot tummies!

{Trogador pulls out a card.}

TROGADOR: {reading from card, bad acting style} So 1-Up, you are saying that you and Stinkoman are robots?

1-UP: {looking at the camera} Yes. 1-Up and Stinkoman are robots.

{Trogador throws the card and 1-Up looks back at him.}

TROGADOR: So anyways, Tampo owns the local Blubbo's, and he's running a pudding factory in the bathroom.

1-UP: {gasp} Say no more.

{cut to outside. Trogador waits for 1-Up, who comes walking through the doors wearing a white t-shirt, green pants, and a red bandanna on his forehead.}

1-UP: Let's do this.

{cut to the Pudding Factory. Tampo sits at one of the beakers. The camera pans up to a vent and then inside of it, where Trogador (who is squished and cramped) and 1-Up are crawling.}

TROGADOR: Couldn't we...have come in guns...blazing?

1-UP: We gotta be sneaky. Like ninjas. You and me are ninjas.

TROGADOR: Couldn't we...have been...guns blazing ninjas?

{1-Up reaches the end of the vent and slowly opens it up. He then takes out a grenade and tosses it at the factory.}

1-UP: Here's a special ingredient!

TAMPO (VOICE): Hey, what the?

{There is an explosion. Smoke starts to pour in through the vents. Trogador and 1-Up quickly crawl out.}

{cut to outside Blubbo's. The building is on fire. Trogador and 1-Up sit there, watching it, when Tampo hovers out coughing.}

TAMPO: Why'd did you jerks {cough} do that!? I was just making pudding for the orphans!

TROGADOR: Because you stole my mustache!

TAMPO: I...I stole your mustache? Unbelievably! You want to be "original", fine!

{Tampo rips off the mustache.}

TAMPO: And the worst part is, you won't be punished for this! Fight off an evil monster and you're free from the law! There is no justice in this city...

{Tampo hovers off. Trogador then rips off his mustache.}

1-UP: Why did you do that, Mr. Big Scary Dragon?

TROGADOR: Eh, it felt all fuzzy and weird. And I couldn't eat soup right. Anyways, all this arson has made me hungry. Wanna go get some pudding?

{1-Up growls.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • The K5 Convention is a parody of thr E3 gaming convention, which was happening RIGHT AS NOID WROTE THIS
  • Glorious Green is a parody of Fred Flinstone's imaginary friend, The Great Gazoo.
  • Trogador's dream of being a singer was previously mentioned in the third email.
  • Kilroy was here is American POP CULTURE graffitti associated with World War II. It's also a Styx album. Which one is Noid specifically referencing? Probably the Styx album. COME SAIL AWAY
  • 1-Up's outfit is a take-off on Rambo's outfit.
Other Character Email Trogador

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