Other Character Email Trogador/life

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 012: Life
Trogador goes on a spiritual journey to the mystical land of San Francisco, circa 1965.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON ROBBED A BANK, THEN BEAT UP SOME FOOTWEAR. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Living Room. Master Z is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Trogador walks in with a horrified expression on his face.}

TROGADOR: The day has come, Z.

MASTER Z: Your water broke?

TROGADOR: No. Much worse than that. I have received an email that I can't answer.

MASTER Z: Then spend a few lines discussing the email itself before going off on some wacky adventure, barely related to the email you received.

TROGADOR: I tried, Z. I tried it all.

MASTER Z: Then just delete it.

TROGADOR: But I can't do that, Z. Every email deserves to be answered. I can't just leave it to rot in the realms of non-existence, being neglected and teased by the spam emails!

MASTER Z: Just give me the email, I'll be the guest answerer.

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot and gives it to Master Z.}

MASTER Z: Wow, you're really screwed here, aren't you?

TROGADOR: Do you know how I could answer it?

MASTER Z: Be witty. Look up "life" in a dictionary.

TROGADOR: You know what...that just might work! Thanks for the idea!

{Trogador takes the TrogPilot and runs out of the room.}

{cut to The Library seen in the second email. Trogador walks in.}

TROGADOR: So, this is The Library...wonder if it's magical or anything. Dictionary, come to me!

{Trogador sits around for a few seconds.}

TROGADOR: {making various hand gestures} Dictionary On! Go Dictionary Go!

{Trogador sighs.}

TROGADOR: It's useless. This whole email's gone down the tubes. I can't make quality stuff anymore, being saddled with all this responsibility...I need to go clear my mind...

{Trogador walks out of The Library.}

{cut to a a Challenge City street. Trogador walks on the sidewalk as Astromunds take pictures of him. The Two Astromund Fans run up to him.}

KYLE: Hi Mr. Trogador, I'm your biggest fan!

TROGADOR: I'm sure you are.

KYLE: Anyways, Mr. Trogador, me and my friend were wondering if you would take a picture with us. I got a camera and everything.

{Kyle takes out a green camera with purple swirls on it.}

TROGADOR: No thanks, I'm not in the-hey, where'd you get the cool camera?

KYLE: The camera? Oh, I picked that up while stalking some guys in the Green Light District.

TROGADOR: Green Light District? What's that?

ASTROMUND 1: Yeah, the Green Light District. It's pretty much just a place for cleansing your mind and becoming one with something or other.

TROGADOR: And where is this district?

ASTROMUND 1: Right around the corner here.

TROGADOR: Thanks!

{Trogador walks around the corner and sees an empty street. A thick green mist is in the street, making it unable to see anything on the other side. A green streetlight sits suspended in front of the mist.}

TROGADOR: Here goes nothing...

{Trogador takes a deep breath and walks through the mist. He comes out on the other side, which turns out to be a hippy camp. A cobblestone road continues on and tents are everywhere. Astromunds and Poorbts dressed in hippy garb sit around campfires and meditate along the street. Trogador sees a large green tent and walks in it. Small boxes and campfires are everywhere.}

TROGADOR: Is anybody here?

{A green dragon that looks like Trogador steps forward. He wears a muddy brown robe.}

DRAGON: Welcome to our abode, brother.

TROGADOR: Brother? Who are you? And this is my tent too?

DRAGON: {laughs} Everything here is yours, just as much as it is mine. There's no ownership in the Green Light District. And I am Natador.

TROGADOR: And...uh...I'm-

NATADOR: You are Trogador. I can sense that.

TROGADOR: Wow...um...creepy. So why is this place called the Green Light District?

NATADOR: Well, Trogador, the green light means that it's okay to go. And that is what we do. We go and float on the river known as life without a care in the world. It is all quite relaxing, you know.

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, I need some relax.

NATADOR: I can sense that, too. And I believe I know the trick.

TROGADOR: And that is...?

NATADOR: One common method is to speak in rhyme, Trogador. Can you do that?

TROGADOR: Umm...I guess?

NATADOR: Then do it.

TROGADOR: {rolls eyes} I am rhyming as I speak, I sure do talk like a freak.

NATADOR: Do you feel better now, brother?

TROGADOR: Actually, now that you mention it, I do! The method of rhyming must be tried and true!

NATADOR: That's more like it. Now, let me show you other sides of our culture...

{Natador and Trogador walk outside the tent.}

{cut to The Living Room. Everybody but John is sitting on the couch when John walks in.}

JOHN: Have any of you guys seen Trogador?

DREW: No.

MASTER Z: He was trying to answer an email and he couldn't. Might have gotten lost in this place.

KRAY: Didn't ye put a tracker on 'em?

JOHN: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

CLYDE: What a wonderful deus ex machina!

{John takes a small gray remote out of his pocket and gasps.}

MASTER Z: What's wrong?

JOHN: It's Trogador...he's...he's..

KRAY: Spit it out, mate!

JOHN: He's in the Green Light District!

{Everybody but John gasps.}

DREW: That place is so messed up!

KRAY: We need tah rescue 'em before 'e gets sucked in!

JOHN: Operation: Hippespionage is a go!

{They all run out of the room.}

{cut to the entrance to The Green Light District. Kray walks on screen first, wearing a rainbow beanie and cut shorts. John follows, wearing a brown poncho. Drew walks on with fake dreadlocks. Master Z follows, wearing a t-shirt that says "I LISTEN TO 1970'S ROCK MUSIC". Lastly, Clyde hovers on, wearing sunglasses, a pipe, and a long gray beard.}

MASTER Z: What are you supposed to be?

CLYDE: I'm the cult father type that owns the bus.

JOHN: Whatever, let's just get in there.

{They take deep breaths and walk into the Green Light District. They walk along the cobblestone road.}

DREW: This place smells like dead!

MASTER Z: I knew I should have destroyed this when I had the chance!

JOHN: Shut up, we're supposed to be undercover and finding Trogador!

KRAY: There he is!

{They walk over to Trogador, who is also wearing a brown robe. He sits next to Natador, meditating. Hippy Astromunds flock around them.}

JOHN: Trog, man you gotta snap out of this!

TROGADOR: Hello my friends, nice to see you! Would you like to meditate with us two?

'JOHN: Oh my Winner, it's worse than I thought. Trog, you gotta come with us and ditch this square! Who is that guy, anyways?

NATADOR: I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

JOHN: Umm..okay...can you make Trogador leave this stink pit?

NATADOR: Why would he want to leave? He's sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.

KRAY: That sounds painful.

JOHN: We're taking him away!

NATADOR: Don't you see the wonders here? See how we fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how we run.

JOHN: I'm tired of you being cryptic! Now, come on Trog, ditch this joke, we're going!

NATADOR: Don't you think the joker laughs at you?

JOHN: Alright, that's it! Trogador, what color is Clyde?

TROGADOR: Clyde is the color of orange, similar to a rusty door hinge.

CLYDE: Well isn't that a stretch!

JOHN: What color is Z's hat?

TROGADOR: The rim is green, the top is purple-

{Trogador gets a horrified expression on his face. He starts to sweat.}

TROGADOR: M-mister city, p-policeman sitting...

JOHN: Fight it!

TROGADOR: Yellow matter...custard, dripping...dripping from a dead dog's eye.

JOHN: Fight it!

TROGADOR: I am the eggman...

NATADOR: You are the eggman!

JOHN: FIGHT IT!

TROGADOR:' I...I...I AM THE WALRUS!

{Trogador gets up and takes the robe off.}

TROGADOR: I am free from the tyranny of hippydom!

{Trogador's friend claps.}

NATADOR: Trogador, man, you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long.

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, I don't know what you're saying, so I'm assume you mean I'm awesome. Catch you later, moonbeam!

{Trogador and Co. leave.}

NATADOR: He'll be back. They always come back.

HIPPY ASTROMUND: May I be your disciple now, brother?

NATADOR: Go get me some fricking Hot Pockets, Chaz, I'm no mood for this.

HIPPY ASTROMUND: You know, talking in rhymes-

NATADOR: Hot pockets!

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • The scene where Trogador makes various hand gestures is a reference to a similar one in Spider-Man.
  • The Green Light District is a parody of the Red Light District AND THE LITTLE CHILDREN HERE SHOULD NOT LOOK UP RED LIGHT DISTRICT ON WIKIPEDIA IT'S BAD
  • Most of the second half of dialogue in this emal is taken from The Beatles' song, I Am the Walrus.
Other Character Email Trogador

video games | redux | band | dwelling | trogdor | random | realty | fandom | different town | pluto | tennis | life | mustache | fat | rodagore | comedy | albino | da kidz | sports | time travel | superhero | island | best email ever | mind control

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