Other Character Email Trogador/comedy

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 016: Comedy
Trogador becomes a comedian. Some stuff happens?

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "TWO DRAGONS MET UP AND GOT SHOT. ONE OF THE DRAGONS IS NAMED..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to Trogador's Nest. Trogador sits in the nest, holding the TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: No better way to start off a day than with an email!

{Trogador reads the email, pronouncing ur as "err", fav as "five", joks as "jocks", mayb as "mibe", and shud as "shut".}

TROGADOR: Well...uhh...Melissa, I'm partial the comedy stylings of Ekersby. That man is a comic genius.

{cut to a stage. Ekersby stands in the center of it, holding a cup of water. A spotlight is fixated on him.}

EKERSBY: Dhjshf yafs tajgoagnh ofahksah? Ighaggjg jgjaygfjhj hratjub!

{The audience laughs.}

EKERSBY: Agjahfjhi aonjgkjk taghqrha, aiybngna farjhwvnoqyd!

{The audience laughs again.}

{cut back to Trogador at his nest.}

TROGADOR: {chuckles} Man, that one always makes me laugh. But to answer your second...demand, I'm not gonna do stand-up any time soon. I'm not fit for it.

{Master Z walks up to him.}

MASTER Z: But Trogador, you should try everything once!

TROGADOR: Try everything once! That only leads to nowhere.

MASTER Z: It was the exact reasoning I used when I became an evil genius!

TROGADOR: And look where that got you!

MASTER Z: Think about it! You could become a comic sensation, promoting your crappy indie show. Think of where you could be in 20 years because of one little gig!

{cut to a television stage. Trogador stands in the center, wearing a black suit and a fake human chin where his chin would be. A desk is to his right, and a city backdrop is in the background.}

TROGADOR: Hennah hinnah hanna huhhhh! Hinnah hunna hoona heennnn!

{cut back to the nest.}

TROGADOR: Yeah, no, that still sounds pretty terrible.

MASTER Z: Trogador. Listen. You have more connections you acquired legally than anybody else in this town. And then some illegal ones!

TROGADOR: {sighs} Fine. I'll go to a comedy club and get heckled and booed off stage and probably mugged in the alley.

MASTER Z: That's the spirit!

{cut to The Mayor's Office, as seen in this email. Mayorbot sits at his desk when Trogador walks in.}

MAYORBOT: Ah, hello, Trogador! What do you want to discuss today?

TROGADOR: Hi, Mr. Mayor. I was wondering if you could-

MAYORBOT: Could what? Assassinate somebody for you? Well, the Challenge City government has a crack team of highly-trained elites ready to-

TROGADOR: Er, no, no! I don't want anybody killed.

{awkward silence}

MAYORBOT: {coughs} Well, then, what do you want?

TROGADOR: I want to go perform a comedy routine at one of the clubs.

MAYORBOT: Ah, say no more! I'll get you headlining at Hee-Hee's!

TROGADOR: Hee-Hee's?! Isn't that the biggest club in town?

MAYORBOT: Anything for our hero!

{cut to Ekersby. He is sitting on an orange couch. A phone rings, and he picks up a phone out of thin air.}

EKERSBY: Hghsggahjo?

{Chatter on the other end is heard.}

EKERSBY: Wfhgkahgi dmh yuagbk meahguhyfsj!?

{Chatter on the other end is heard. Ekersby hangs up.}

EKERSBY: Ghgfsgghj mfahifaj.

{cut to the backstage at Hee-Hee's, which is your standard backstage. Trogador sits on a stool. A Chorch wearing a rainbow clown afro hovers up to him.}

TROGADOR: Oh, hiya Mr. Hee-Hee.

HEE-HEE: {in a completely monotone voice} Hello Trogador. Would you like me to tell you a joke to ease you and make you a better performer for tonight?

TROGADOR: Sure, that'd be great.

{Hee-Hee punches Trogador.}

TROGADOR: Ow, what was that for ?!

HEE-HEE: Unit 5467 must destroy the-I am sorry for the outbreak, Trogador. I'm a death machine in a comedian's body. I'm unfit for this world.

ANNOUNCER: {offscreen} And now, our head-lining act, he's the dragon that saved us all from complete destruction and death...

TROGADOR: {gets off stool and walks on stage} Thanks for the...luck...Mr. Hee-Hee.

HEE-HEE: {to himself} Please destroy me.

{cut to the stage seen before. Trogador stands on it, holding a microphone. The spotlight is fixated on him.}

TROGADOR: So, how's it going for you Challenge City folks today?

{Crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: Yeah, okay, you payed to see me tell jokes, understand. What's the deal with spaceship food?

{Crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: Yeah, that one's pretty bad...{coughs} Uhh, have you ever noticed that when a spaceship gets shot down, all they find remaining is the quantum processor? Why don't they just make a spaceship out of the quantum processor?

{Crickets chirp.}

TROGADOR: {nervously laughs} Tough crowd, ehh...silver Jaros hop vertically, black Jaros hop forward!

{the camera cuts to the audience - The Two Astromund Fans. Astromund 1 stands up.}

ASTROMUND 1: Okay, that's it!

KYLE: Bernie, sit down!

BERNIE: No Kyle, I'm not sitting down! This guy's an unfunny racist!

KYLE: That's Trogador you're talking about, Bernie!

BERNIE: I don't care who it is! You know, everything was perfect when we were in the Stinkoman fanclub. We got to watch him. It was fun. But then this waste waltzes on in, beats up a shadow, and now we're supposed to worship him? It's all gone downhill since we converted, Kyle!

KYLE: Don't say what I think you're saying...

BERNIE: I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm leaving.

{Dramatic piano music starts to play. Bernie runs away. Kyle gets up and chases after him. Cut to a back-alley outside of Hee-Hee's. A door busts open and Bernie runs out, apparently crying. Kyle runs up to the doorway and stops, with one arm reaching out and one hand over where his heart would be. He falls down to his knees, cursing the sky silently.}

{cut back to Trogador on stage.}

TROGADOR: Um. Okay.

{cut to the back-alley seen before. Trogador walks out the door.}

TROGADOR: You know, they should get that cricket infestation looked at...

{The Liekand hovers up to him.}

THE LIEKAND: Hello, Trogador, it's been quite a long time!

TROGADOR: Uhh, not really. And shouldn't you be in jail?

THE LIEKAND: Oh, no, I got out for good behavior. I've turned over a new leaf!

TROGADOR: No illegal stuff?

THE LIEKAND: That I know of! In fact, my business proposition is completely legal...probably!

TROGADOR: Fire away.

THE LIEKAND: Since you were so hee-hee-heelarious on stage tonight, I was hoping you could guest star on the premiere of my new sitcom, Chorch In Charge.

TROGADOR: Eh, I don't know...

THE LIEKAND: No way, Trogador, you gotta! This will be the springboard of both of our successful careers, I know it!

TROGADOR: {sighs} Fine.

THE LIEKAND: Alright! Come down to Tornado Studios tomorrow and we'll get you all guest'd up!

{cut to a yellow living room. The carpet is yellow, the couch is yellow, and the two chairs outside of the couch are yellow. A Chorch hovers on to the couch with applause.}

CHORCH: Gee, I sure do like watching TV when it's all peaceful and quiet!

{A Jaro burts through the door to applause.}

CHORCH: {rolls eyes} Oh geez!

{Canned laughter.}

JARO: I'm home, Chorch!

CHORCH: I can see!

{Canned laughter.}

JARO: And I bought a friend!

TROGADOR: {offscreen, mumbling} Is this-is this my cue? Yes? Oh crap, man, move over!

{Trogador walks to the door to applause.}

TROGADOR: {deadpan} I am comic sensation Trogador.

{Trogador goes to sit down on one of the chairs.}

TROGADOR: So, Mr. Chorch...

{A Grundy runs through the door.}

GRUNDY: Wesley Wesley Wesley Wesley! WESSUHLEEEEEEEE!

TROGADOR: Um, okay...anyways, Mr. Chorch-

{A Greggo walks onscreen, looking into the camera.}

GREGGO: {singing} Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got...

TROGADOR: Oh, man, this is such a waste of my-

{Trogador accidentally blows fire on the couch, setting Chorch on fire. He falls to the floor, rolling in his flames.}

CHORCH: AUGH! OH WINNER, OH WINNER! YOU SET ME ON FIRE!

TROGADOR: Psh, not my problem.

{Everything goes silent. Chorch starts to laugh, and so does Jaro. Eventually everybody starts to laugh. The camera pans out to show that this is on a TV screen, with Trogador and Kray watching.}

KRAY: "Not my problem"? Woo-hoo, man! {laughs} That is some funny stuff!

TROGADOR: Yeah, it's kind of taken off as my catch-phrase. They want me to become a main cast member on the show!

KRAY: Bah, you're destined for bigger and better things, mate! You're too good for TV! You should get eh movie deal! And I'll be ya'r management type mate!

TROGADOR: Hmm...a movie does sound good. Let's get on that!

{cut to a stage. It appears to be modeled after the interior of a space shuttle. Trogador and a Greggo stand opposite each other, holding guns and having red bombs strapped to their chests.}

TROGADOR: {deadpan} We both appear to have bombs on our chests, Agent Blackdeathfuryanguish.

AGENT BLACKDEATHFURYANGUISH: As long as you're dead, Trogador, I'll have done my job right.

TROGADOR: {deadpan} But don't you want the money for the kill? You are, after all, a secret government agent moonlighting as an assassin in space.

AGENT BLACKDEATHFURYANGUISH: At first it was about the money. Now I just want to see you suffer!

{Trogador opens up a window right next to him. He takes the "bomb" off and throws it through.}

AGENT BLACKDEATHFURYANGUISH: {walking towards window} Oh no, I'm being sucked up! Curse you, Trogador! Curse you!

{Agent Blackdeathfuryanguish jumps through the window. Trogador looks at the camera.}

TROGADOR: I am getting too old for this.

{cut to another stage, this one resembling a glacier. Trogador and an Astromund fight on the glacier.}

TROGADOR: {deadpan} It seems that your time is running out, Dr. Germanname.

DR. GERMANNAME: You might think my time has run out, but the world's time shall run out soon.

TROGADOR: {deadpan} Just confess to the killings! Help us, anything!

DR. GERMANNAME: Never!

{Dr. Germanname does a back-flip and lands barely offset, breaking something. A loud snap is heard.}

TROGADOR: It's just been revoked.

{cut to the top of a sky-scraper. Trogador stands there, holding a gun and firing at an Astromund in a suit, who also has a gun.}

TROGADOR: {deadpan} President Smith, you fiend! I don't want to kill you!

PRESIDENT SMITH: {fires gun} Then I'm perfectly fine with killing you!

MYSTERIOUS VOICE OFF SCREEN I WONDER WHO THIS IS: Dgjsgda!

{Ekersby swoops down on Trogador and picks him up.}

TROGADOR: Ekersby? Ekersby, man, why are you doing this?! And how can you fly!?

EKERSBY: Thjahd prhaggks oaggy hgatkya iahgrsm tshg dhagg!

TROGADOR: Ah, yeah, that explains both things.

{Ekersby drops Trogador and he falls. A loud crash is heard.}

{cut to a hospital bed. Trogador sits in it, wearing a full body cast, besides his mouth. Co. walk in.}

JOHN: Ouch, that's worse than I thought...

DREW: Yeah, that's pretty terrible stuff...I never wanna go through that...

CLYDE: At least you can finish filming your movie when you're healed, right, Trogador?

TROGADOR: {wheeze} I think I'm dying, guys.

{Everybody laughs.}

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • Trogador in 20 years is a PARODY or SATIRE or whatever of Jay Leno and his inhuman chin
  • All of Trogador's jokes are parodies of terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.
  • Chorch In Charge is a play on the 80's (90's maybe) sitcom Charles's In Charge.
  • The Grundy chanting "Wesley" is a reference to the old sitcom Mr. Belvedere. LOOK IT UP ON WIKIPEDIA
  • The song that the Greggo sings is the theme song to Cheers, ANOTHER SITCOM OH GEEZ
  • Trogador's one-liners are all real one-liners from 80's era action movies.
  • The original idea for this email was to have it be completely humorless, making it either hysterically meta or stupid.
Other Character Email Trogador

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