Other Character Email Trogador/redux

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The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 002: Redux
Trogador relives his teenage years, going back to an age of the nostalgic, zombie-ridden 2040's.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "TROGADOR THE DRAGON WAS CHECKING HIS EMAILS WHEN SUDDENLY." The words change to "SOMETHING MAGIC HAPPENED BY ACCIDENT. SO HERE'S THE CRAP." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to the Temple - the Lab, specifically. John is at a table, mixing chemicals. Trogador sits in the corner, looking bored.}

TROGADOR: I thought you said that there would be explosions here!

JOHN: Well, hopefully there aren't any, because then the entire Temple will be sent through a vortex to the dark ages.

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, I was there for part of the 1900's, they weren't that bad! We had ELO, Die Hard...

JOHN: I don't care about your dark age pop culture, Trog. Now stop bugging me before I have to pop up my collared shirts and get a mullet.

TROGADOR: {sighs} Okay, well, do you know where I could find some fun around here?

JOHN: Go read a book or something, our library is massive.

TROGADOR: But reading is for squares like you and...you!

JOHN: Some of them have pictures...

TROGADOR: Picture books? {starts to hop up and down} Picture books! Picture books! Picture books!

JOHN: TROG!

{Trogador whimpers and exits the room.}

{cut to the Library. The Library is a tall tower with books lining every part of the wall stretching up for about a mile. A lone couch sits in the center, with a brown book on it. Trogador goes to sit down on the couch.}

TROGADOR: Let's see what book this is...Evil Spells for The Also Evil? Hmm..

{Suddenly, the TrogPilot beeps. Trogador takes it out.}

TROGADOR: Ooh, email time!

TROGADOR: Well Mysterious Madman Sneaking Up On Me, I would definately relive my teenage years. They were nothing short of awful! I was dominated by trends, popularity wars, and don't forget to mention the zombie apocalypse.

TROGADOR: So to answer your question, I want to relive my teenage years.

{Suddenly, the book Trogador was reading flies up. A green aura surrounds it. It zaps him and he disappears, dropping the TrogPilot.}

{cut to a cloud. Trogador falls on the cloud, dressed in greaser attire - leather jacket, slicked back black hair. He is pimply and has a slight mustache growing.}

TROGADOR: Oof! Man, one minute you're answering an email, next thing you know you're...on top of a cloud...dressed in trendy clothes from my teenage years...

TROGADOR: Wow...that spell must have worked! I'm a teenager again! Wild parties, here I come!

{Trogador starts to run and immediately falls through the cloud. He crashes through the roof of a gray building marked "WAREHOUSE".}

{cut to inside the warehouse. Everything is dark and there is one light, fixated on Trogador. His clothes have changed from greaser to a 70's style afro and Jimi Hendrix vest-shirt. He wears a peace medallion from his neck.}

TROGADOR: Well, that's...strange. My clothes must have changed...somehow. I hate it when magic has all those clauses and stuff...

{Two shadowy figures step from the darkness.}

SHADOWY FIGURE 1: Freeze, dirtbag!

SHADOWY FIGURE 2: {bubbles}

{The Shadowy Figures step forward, revealing themselves to be Future Strong Sad and Future Pom Pom.}

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Don't move an inch, zomb-o, or I'll blast your solar plexus off right now.

FUTURE POM POM: {threatening bubbles}

TROGADOR: Listen, guys, I have no idea what's going on!

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Hmm...this one seems intelligent enough...you sure he's a zombie?

FUTURE POM POM: {uncertain bubbles}

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Yeah, well, this one's eyes aren't red, so I figure we can lay off on the destroyin' and whatnot.

TROGADOR: {breathes a sigh of relief} Thanks, guys, I really have no clue how I ended up here...

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Yeah, well, get used to the scenery, because you're gonna be sticking around here, helping us fight off the dead.

TROGADOR: Wait, what? That's not what I asked for! I just want to relive my teenage years!

FUTURE POM POM: {annoyed bubbles}

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Yeah, he's getting on my nerves too...but I'd bet he has some strong firepower.

TROGADOR: Fire? You want me to breathe fire? Anything to get out of here!

{Trogador breathes fire in a ring around Future Strong Sad and Future Pom Pom.}

FUTURE STRONG SAD: Not too bad...now just stomp this out, okay tough guy?

TROGADOR: Oops, sorry, fire's kinda hot. See ya later, losers!

{Trogador flies through the hole in the ceiling. When he emerges, he is wearing different clothes again - this time, a purple collared shirt (with the collar popped) and a mullet wig.}

TROGADOR: Y'know, I never really liked this trend. The shirt was too tight and I can't pull off a mullet...

{Suddenly, a missile flies up to Trogador. It strikes him and begins to drop.}

{Trogador falls down to a junkyard. His clothes have changed yet again - this time, the mullet is longer and unkept. He also wears a torn blue jacket, a t-shirt saying "I LISTEN TO INDIE MUSIC", and jeans. Zombie Strong Bad stands over him.}

TROGADOR: Ow...I should have really seen that coming...

ZOMBIE STRONG BAD: {grape jelly drips out of his mouth, onto Trogador.}

TROGADOR: AUGH! That tastes horrible!

{Trogador's clothes change again, this time to a brown collared shirt with an "FCUSA" imprinted in the corner. He is wearing jeans with paint spilled on them.}

TROGADOR: Huh...that jelly just made my clothes change again! Do it again, do it again!

ZOMBIE STRONG BAD: {more grape jelly drips out of mouth}

{Trogador changes his outfit again. This time, he is wearing eyeliner, a tophat, a black vest, and tight pants.}

TROGADOR: Hey, wait, I don't remember this trend...

ZOMBIE STRONG SAD: Look at that! The zombies are trying to take the traitor as one of their own!

FUTURE POM POM: {loud bubbles}

ZOMBIE STRONG BAD: {growls}

{Zombie Strong Bad jumps over Trogador and onto Future Pom Pom, punching him. The three run off-screen. Screaming and frantic bubbling is heard.}

ZOMBIE STRONG SAD: Alrught, he's pryed off, let's do this!

{A grenade is thrown. The grenade was overthrown, however, and it lands right next to Trogador's head.}

TROGADOR: {grunting} Can't...seem....to...move...MOMMYYYY-

{Suddenly, with a flash, Trogador disappears.}

{cut to The Temple. Trogador reappears on the couch in the library. Clyde is sitting on it, reading the brown book.}

TROGADOR: -YYYYYYYY oh wait, I'm back home. And not wearing eyeliner!

CLYDE: What the?!

TROGADOR: It's better to not thing about it, Clyde. I was in the 2040's. I saw some stuff go down, man. But for sending me back!

{Trogador hugs Clyde, squeezing him and causing his eyes to bulge.}

CLYDE: This...shouldn't even be...p-possible...

{cut to a space station hovering above Challenge City. The black figure with a red cape sits in a silver chair with TV screens surrounding him. The two Astromunds in black armor stand in front of him.}

ASTROMUND 1: We have located the target, sir.

CAPED FIGURE: Excellent. We are in stage 3 of Project PLUTO, then?

ASTROMUND 2: Affirmative.

CAPED FIGURE: Very well. You are dismissed.

{The two Astromunds nod and exit the room.}

CAPED FIGURE: I'll get you soon, dragon...you won't be able to stop me this time...

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • ELO, or Electric Light Orchestra, is a band, famous for Mr. Blue Sky and Evil Woman.
  • The Die Hard movie series is a series in which Bruce Willis plays Officer John McClane, who is also coincidentally awesome.
  • Popped-collars and mullets were popular 80's fashion.
  • Trogador's outfits reflect on trends of the 60's(ish) to the 2000's.
Other Character Email Trogador

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