Other Character Email Trogador/fat

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

The New Trogador Adventures

Episode 014: Fat
Trogador vows to lose weight in the chick-flick event of this summer.

Transcript

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X8". The screen then changes it's text it to "A DRAGON STARVED A COUPLE OF ORPHANS. THAT DRAGON IS..." The words disappear, and TROGADOR in orange letters appears. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to The Dining Room. Trogador is sitting at the table, eating a five tiered cake. Drew walks in as he throws it in his mouth and swallows it.}

DREW: Trogador! You're supposed to eat a cake one slice at a time!

TROGADOR: I was hungry! Being the Defender of Challenge City takes a lot of hard work, you know!

DREW: Well...fine. But don't let that become a habit.

TROGADOR: Well, 20 tiers of cake a day isn't bad, right?

DREW: You've eaten 4 cakes!?

TROGADOR: No, but I'm about to.

{Trogador takes a cake out from underneath the table and throws it into his mouth. He swallows.}

DREW: Trogador, you could have fed a country with all that cake!

TROGADOR: I'm a dragon, there are probably millions of parasites from caves floating around me. I got to keep those little guys nourished too!

{Trogador takes out Clyde from underneath the table.}

TROGADOR: What are you doing down there?

CLYDE: Uhh...not getting eaten by the mean dragon before I could saw his foot off while he wasn't paying attention and sell it?

TROGADOR: Hmmm...Drew, what do orange ghosts taste like?

DREW: They're a little tangy with some-hey, wait, no! I'm not letting you eat Clyde!

TROGADOR: Well, why not? All he does is make references and sell my tissues.

DREW: He's a core cast member!

TROGADOR: Hmmm...fine. You're free to go.

{Clyde quickly hovers off as a ding noise is heard.}

TROGADOR: Ooh, email! And just on time.

{Trogador takes out the TrogPilot.}

Hey Trogador,
You've been putting on weight, man.
Have you considered aerobics?
-Lunar J

TROGADOR: What? You listen here, Luna, just because I'm a semi-gigantic dragon doesn't mean I'm fat!

DREW: You might not be now, but you'll be regretting those 4 cakes soon, Trog.

TROGADOR:Yeah, well, my species, our skin...we expand every once in a while. Usual stuff.

DREW: Right after eating 4 cakes?

TROGADOR: Yeah. I don't get what's so hard to grasp about that...

{Drew sighs and leaves the room.}

TROGADOR: So, Luna, there is absolutely no problem with me at-

{Suddenly, Trogador collapses into a blob. The TrogPilot sinks into him.}

TROGADOR: Well this side-effect wasn't mentioned...

{John walks in.}

JOHN: Hey, Tr-woah! What happened to you?

TROGADOR: I appear to be flubber.

JOHN: I need to take pictures and conduct a study and sell you!

TROGADOR: I'm just out of shape, John! Nothing to get excited about!

JOHN: Uhh...when normal people are out of shape they don't collapse into pudding.

TROGADOR: Now's not the time to be talking about pudding, John!

{cut to The Living Room. Master Z is sitting on the couch when Trogador...rolls in?}

MASTER Z: {disgusted} What is that revolting thing?!

TROGADOR: It's me, Z.

MASTER Z: What happened to you?

TROGADOR: I've let myself go. Do you know any aerobics instructors?

MASTER Z: Aerobics? Well, there is The Liekand...

TROGADOR: Liekand has time to instruct aerobics? I thought he was supposed to be commanding an army in the Pink Cloud Zone.

MASTER Z: Yes, well, he expected my plans for domination to fall through quickly, and invested in a back-up.

TROGADOR: Ah...where does he operate?

MASTER Z: I'll bring you there, it's a long trip. How are you moving about, anyways?

TROGADOR: You know, I don't know at all.

{cut to The Pink Cloud Zone. A gray building with a sign that says "TORNADO AIR-OBICS" is atop the clouds. Master Z and Trogador walk and roll up to it.}

MASTER Z: Huh, I expected this place to be a little more...exquisite.

TROGADOR: Oh, heh, I get it! "Air-obics"! Hah!

{They walk and roll into the building. Inside, The Liekand sits at a small desk with a dim light above him.}

THE LIEKAND: {not talking fast} Welcome to Tornado Air-Obics, customers! How may I assist you today?

MASTER Z: Hello, Liekand.

THE LIEKAND: Well, heya Master Z! It's been a long time since I've seen you. Gotta tell ya, your retirement really shocked a lot of us bosses.

MASTER Z: Um, yes....retirement...anyways, my friend here has let himself get out of shape, quite literally.

THE LIEKAND: Woah, you are one ugly guy, customer!

TROGADOR: Hey, don't criticize me, you rat! Don't you have a clothing store to be talking fast in?

THE LIEKAND: No way, customer. Clothing is for weirdos. And I only talk fast when I play volleyball. Truly a sport of the gods.

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, okay then. Now, I'd like to sign up for some aerobics.

THE LIEKAND: Alright, you're in my class.

TROGADOR: So...when is this aerobics class?

THE LIEKAND: Oh, silly customer! I don't actually do aerobics, that's just a pun to attract more suckers like you! I actually just give you a power crunch-

TROGADOR: Hey, man, I don't want to get into anything illegal here!

THE LIEKAND: It's a modified power crunch. The good kind! Stuff it down your throat, and you'll be as fit as a 70 year old!

TROGADOR: Dragon years or Astromund years? Because I was pretty fit at age 70...

THE LIEKAND: Any years you want, customer!

TROGADOR: Well, uhh....okay. Give me the pill.

{The Liekand pulls a power crunch out of thin air (ba-dum tish) and proceeds to stuff it down Trogador's throat.}

TROGADOR: When will I start seeing the effects?

THE LIEKAND: I'd give it a good night of sleep. After that, you'll be pushing daisies with the best of them!

ONE GOOD NIGHT OF SLEEP LATER

{cut to Bubs's Wares. Kray is talking to Bubs.}

KRAY: So then 'e was all like, "I'm serious, I'll kill all yeh!", and I was all like, "I'd like to see you try to kill any'f us!" And then I went to the funeral and 'e was all like-

{Trogador walks up. He is shriveled up and sickly looking.}

TROGADOR: Hey, {wheeze} guys.

KRAY: Woah, Trog, mate, you're disgustin'! I gotta go, Bubs, mate, dun wanna stay 'ere and look at this thing anymore!

{Kray walks off.}

TROGADOR: Is it really that bad?

BUBS: Sure is, dragon! You're nasty like a raisin!

TROGADOR: I don't know what the problem {wheeze} is. The Liekand said that I'd be as fit as a 70 year old...

BUBS: Wait, the tornado did this to you? What'd he do?

TROGADOR: He gave me a modified power crunch so I could get back in shape.

BUBS: Stupid dragon, the tornado is a cheat! You never take a power crunch! Ever lever!

TROGADOR: So you mean I've been scammed?

BUBS: Like a fox! We gotta go, dragon, and get that tornado!

{cut to inside Tornado Air-Obics. The Liekand sits at the desk and Saargtsson is in front of him.}

SAARGTSSON: Ssso, you think our ssscheme is working?

THE LIEKAND: Of course it's working, silly goose! Our sales are through the roof! I tell ya, man, we're a dream team. You're a lava snake with fields and fields of power crunches, and I'm a rat in a tornado that can con anybody into doing what I want!

SAARGTSSON: Excellent.

THE LIEKAND: Now, partner, I think I'm gonna need some more security up here at the Air-Obics center.

SAARGTSSON: Sssecurity? Why would you need even more sssecurity? You have an army of minionsss all about the Pink Cloud Zone!

THE LIEKAND: Well, I just conned Trogador and gave him a power crunch.

SAARGTSSON: You got Trogador into thisss! You idiot!

{Suddenly, Bubs and Trogador fall through the ceiling. Bubs lands on Saargtsson.}

THE LIEKAND: Well, hiya customer, you sure do look fit and spry and-

TROGADOR: Shut it, Liekand! I know this is just a front for a power crunch operation, you scumbag!

THE LIEKAND: I have no idea what you're-

SAARGTSSON: It'sss true! It'sss all true! Now get the blue man off of me!

THE LIEKAND: {backing up} Haha, yes, well, you may think you have me cornered, Trogador, and....you're right. Take me away, coppers!

{cut to The Prison, as seen in this email. Nick sits in his cell.}

NICK: And then I'll walk into the kitchen and open the drawers and then...

{What Nick is saying becomes inaudible. The camera pans over to the next cell, where The Liekand stands.}

THE LIEKAND: I want my call! Somebody, unlock this cell door, I want my call! I need to call my lawyer! I've been framed, I tell ya! Gadzooked! Somebody give me the phone!

THE END!

Fun Facts

Flubber is a wacky green living Jello movie or something like that, I have no idea.

Other Character Email Trogador/fat

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

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