Other Character Email Trogador/worst attempt

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The New Trogador Emails

Episode 001: Worst Attempt
Trogador unleashes something to destroy his enemies - Drew, a Mothman. But the mothman doesn't enjoy destroying, much to the dislike of Trogador the apperantly-evil dragon.

Transcript

{cut to a blank, white screen. Voice, the guy in the brown cloak, is standing there.}

VOICE: So you're probably wondering what the crap was going on, right? Well, long story short, I went on strike. But I am BACK with the new era of Trogador Emails! This new era means a lot of differnet things.

{a pie chart type thing appears out of nowhere.}

VOICE: According to these papers, Trogador has never legally been a hero or a good guy. He is currently an aspiring evil genius, trying to outfame his more successful and cooler looking brother Pluto. His three companions, Kray, John, and Clyde, have also never been good. Kray is a ruthless space pirate, John is an aspiring evil doctor, and Clyde is a ghost, therefore evil. Peevesly died somewhere if you're wondering.

VOICE: So, uh...enjoy this new evilly delightishfulli- what the crap? You guys said these words would be pho...photo....photoneti....agh, nevermind! Just play the tape!

{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X6". The screen then changes it's text it to "STINKOMAN KEPT ON CHALLENGING AND FIGHTING ANYBODY IN HIS PATH. HOWEVER, MJASTER RALPH'S PET DRAGON ESCAPED AND NOW LIVES IN HIS TRUE HOME, PLOTTING HIS REVENGE AGAINST THE WORLD...". Then, it shifts to "IN ADDITION TO EVIL DEEDS, THAT VERY SAME DRAGON CHECKS EMAILS ON A TINY, OUT OF DATE TROGPILOT. THIS DRAGON HAS A NAME, AND THAT NAME IS...". A few seconds fter this comes up, the screen goes black, and the word "TROGADOR" comes up in orange letters. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}

{cut to the Temple at midnight. Lightning strikes.}

{cut to Trogador's Nest, which...actually is a nest. He is laying down, checking his TrogPilot.}

TROGADOR: Okay, so all information on that little Stinkoman scandal has been wiped. I'll contact him for the cash in the morning. And now, to slee-

{Kray burts into the door.}

KRAY: Uhh, Troggie, if John runs in here, I was never here in my entire physical life and did not just spill some purple liquid in the hall.

{Kray runs off to hide behind Trogador. John then busts into the room, with tentacles, a seperate head resembling 1-Up, and stains on his labcoat.}

JOHN: Okay, where's the certain Kerrek that gave me tentacles, fused the prisoner with me, and ate all the hot fries?

TROGADOR: The cowering guy right behind me?

KRAY: {jumps up.} Idiot! You were supposed to hide me!

JOHN: Well, you'll be hidden deep in my lab when I get a hold of you, sharing a cell with the prisoner!

1-UP: {John becomes posessed by 1-Up} Yay! New best friend!

KRAY: Never! I refuse to get the bottom bunk! {takes out a sword.}

JOHN: {takes out some sort of blaster gun thing.} I WANT THOSE HOT FRIES BACK!

{The two jump at each other, and in mid-air, Trogador hits them both down.}

TROGADOR: Hey, Pinky, Brain! Is it possible to get any sleep around here?

JOHN: Not when someone eats your hot fries and leaves crimbs on the carpet!

KRAY: Yeah, well...I was hungry!

TROGADOR: I don't care who wants to eat food and who puts a nasty stain on the carpet! I just want to sleep, but now that you two have interrupted my sleep, I CAN'T! Now get out before I tie both of you to the highest point of this temple!

{Kray opens his mouth to say "Again?", but John slaps him. The two then walk outside of the room.}

TROGADOR: Well, considering that I can't sleep and there-a-fore cannot plot my revenge against my brother, I'll answer some sort of email now.

Dear Trogador,
If you were to attempt at destroying all
your enemies, what would be your
worst attempt at doing so?
From,
Conchris

TROGADOR: Ah, Conchris, good question. I have tried several attempts, and pretty much all of them didn't turn out so well. But my newest plan that I stole from my brother, that plan is GENIUS! My dreams are filled with what will happen to those jerks...

{cut to Kray fighting a green, mothman looking thing. Before Kray can swing his sword, the mothman flies over and knocks him to the floor.}

{cut to John working in his lab. Suddenly, the mothman pops out of the ground and drags him off somewhere.}

{cut to the mothman fighting an entirely one-shade black dragon with white eyes(Pluto). The mothman points to his torso. Pluto looks down, and the mothman flicks his nose upwards and laughs.}

{cut to the mothman fighting the mailman-I mean, err, no, nevermind.}

{cut back to Trogador.}

TROGADOR: That mailman is such a jerk that I have to think up slash steal a bigger plan.

{cut to John's Lab. John is sitting in a chair, reading a book, when Trogador walks in.}

JOHN: I thought you were trying to sleep, Trog.

TROGADOR: Yeah, well, I'm an insomniac. I need you to do something.

JOHN: ...which is?

TROGADOR: Initiate Order 66.

{John starts speaking into a speaker.}

JOHN: The master has spoken. Initiate Order-hey, wait a minute! That's an entirely wrong storyline!

TROGADOR: Er, I meant 67! 67!

JOHN: Oh, alright.

{John walks up a big red button. He presses it, and the green mothman falls out a rip in the space-time continuum.}

MOTHMAN: Why thank you Mr. - hey, where am I?

TROGADOR: Welcome to the Temple, minion. I am Dark Lord Trogador, Master of Evil, Torture, and photoshopping images on the computer.

{An image pops up of a walrus with Kray's head. The Walrus is saying "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN". The image quickly dissapears.}

MOTHMAN: Oh, hi! My name's Drew J. Mothman, at your service!

TROGADOR: Heya drew. You now serve me and stuff, like the scrawny guy in the white over here.

DREW: Wait, what do I do? Am I like a butler?

JOHN: If you want to end up like the last one, sure.

TROGADOR: That was an accident! A total accident!

JOHN: Sure it was, big guy.

DREW: Wait, WAIT! So what do you do again?

TROGADOR: Me? Why, I once was a good dragon. But that ended up being a sucky gig 'cause I got trapped inside a castle. So I rethought my life, and became a mastermind along with my friends. An EEEEVIL MASTERMIND! EEEEVIIIILLLL!

{Trogador starts making his evil laugh, which is...circus music. John eventually hits Trogador, stopping him.}

JOHN: That creeps everyone out, Trog. Don't do it.

TROGADOR: What? Are you serious? People get a kick out of it at parties!

JOHN: That's why no one ever goes to our parties twice.

TROGADOR: Aww, man, are you serious?

DREW: No, no! Don't feel bad! I liked it!

JOHN: DON'T ENCOURAGE HI-

{Trogador then starts to laugh again.}

JOHN: I hate both of you.

{John then walks out of the room.}

{cut to some balcony in the temple. Trogador is standing there, apperantly admiring the view, and Drew walks up to him.}

DREW: So, uhh...Trogador Mister Sir?

TROGADOR: That's Mister Trogador Mister Sir, Drew.

DREW: Oh, sorry. Anyways, about this evil thing...

TROGADOR: {turns around all-giddily} Are you accepting it with open arms?

DREW: Not quite.

TROGADOR: Kinda unsure arms? Closed arms? We can pry them open, Drew! You just have to sign a waver and you'll spend a week in the cage and-

DREW: I'm not really evil.

TROGADOR: Uhh...yes you are. I summoned the evilest mothman throughout the land!

DREW: I'm the only mothman throughout the land, Trogador!

TROGADOR: Fine then. You'll be going on your first mission tomorrow.

DREW: Uhh...I said I wasn't evil.

TROGADOR: Oh, it's not evil. You're just delivering cookies.

DREW: What kind? 'Cause if you say oatmeal, that is totally evil.

TROGADOR: {sighs} ...Candied...cookies...whatever you call those things...

{The next day...}

{cut to some evil looking building - the fortress of Pluto. Drew is standing at the door with a box of cookies.}

TROGADOR: {voice only; speaking in some kinda walkie talkie.} Any answer?

DREW: Uhh...no...

TROGADOR: Then ring the bell again.

{Drew raises his hand to ring a bell, but he falls through a trapdoor.}

{Drew eventually lands behind some crates. He looks ahead of him and sees Clyde(the pac-man ghost) and Peevesly hanging in chains from the ceiling.}

DREW: Trogador! Trogador! I see Clyde and your old butler in chains here!

TROGADOR: Wait, Clyde's gone? I didn't know that.

DREW: And your brother is here too!

{Pluto walks into the room and starts talking to his prisoners.}

PLUTO: Hello, idiots! What's new today?

CLYDE: The boxes are talking again!

PLUTO: Are you sure, Clyde?

CLYDE: Yes!

PLUTO: Then I'll go check it out.

{Pluto walks over and picks up the boxes to find Drew.}

PLUTO: My my my! What do we have here!

DREW: Uhh...spare my life and I'll give you cookies, sir?

PLUTO: Toss 'em here.

{Drew gives Pluto the cookies. He chews on them for a bit, and then spits them out.}

PLUTO: Ach, those were horrible!

DREW: {devastated} But I baked them myself...but I...

{Suddenly, Drew's eyes turn red. His wings grow extra large, and he hovers up to Pluto's level.}

DREW: {hissing} ...BAKED THEM MYSELF!

{cut to a blank white screen that says "This scene is way too violent. I mean, seriously. Don't insult this guy's cooking."}

{cut back to the chamber. Pluto is lying on the ground in a pretzel while Clyde isn't hanging up there anymore.}

PLUTO: Well, I'll learn not to insult your cooking again.

DREW: Yes, please don't.

{cut back to the temple. Trogador, Kray, and John are all standing there while Drew and Clyde walk into the door.}

KRAY: Hey! It's Clyde!

'CLYDE: Hey, it's the guy that hid me in his closet!

JOHN: So how did you guys do?

CLYDE: Dude, Drew was all like inane and stuff and he totally turned your brother into a pretzel!

TROGADOR: Oh really now? I knew it, Drew.

DREW: Knew what?

TROGADOR: That you're evil.

DREW: But I'm-

{Trogador plugs up his ears. Everyone but Clyde laughs.}

CLYDE: Man, the jokes have just gotten lamer while I was gone.

THE END!

{cut to a black screen that says "GAME OVER." Options are "EMAIL" and "STAGE SELECT.}

Fun Facts

  • Peevesly was the butler of Trogador. I didn't like him, so he died.
  • The Stinkoman scandal refers to the old emails, where Stinkoman was arrested by the Sailors.
  • Pinky and The Brain is an old cartoon show starring two mice.
  • Order 66 is a reference to the Star Wars movies, in which all clone troopers were told to defeat the Jedi Knights.
  • "KHAAAAAAAAAAN" is a reference to...well, this one should be obvious.

Author's Comments

Rating: 7.0
Not a bad re-opener, but not a great one. It did what I wanted it to do, but wasn't that funny.

The Old Trogador Emails

peasants | powers | ICDtHP | lottery | on the lam | cavoplane | monee hunt | big beefy arm | water powers | birdman

worst attempt | no homers | murder | challenge club

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