Other Character Email Trogador/monee hunt

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Trogador Email Seven!

Premise: Peevesly, John, Kray, and Trogador all split up to learn more about the mafia. In a straw drawing, Peevesly gets the longest straw so he gets to stay at the temple with Chaz and guard it. However, he learns that someone is coming to take Trogador's TrogPilot and if he doesn't get enough money, the whole plan will be ruined.

Cast: The Gear, Conk, Doctor Homeschool Winner, Slim Kenartsis, Smithy, Jorb Bot, Trogador, Peevesly, John, Kray, Chaz, Vinny, Arbiter, Sigma, Voice

Transcript

{cut to what appears to be a talkshow stage. The Gear, a metallic Cheat, and Conk, a metallic Sterrance, are sititng in the chairs.}

THE GEAR: Hope you enjoyed that commercial! I'm The Gear!

CONK: And I'm Conk!

THE GEAR: And welcome to the rest of The Ozone Show, hosted by us!

CONK: So Gear, do we have anything special going on today?

THE GEAR: No, not really. Except for our three special GUEST STARS!

{cue the sound of one person clapping.}

CONK: Hold the applause, people! Our first guest is coming up! He's the brother of a star athelete! He's a genious! And hey, he made me!

THE GEAR: And me!

CONK: Introducing...Doctor Homeschool Winner!

{Homeschool, wearing a lab coat, walks onstage and sits down in a chair. Once again, one person is clapping.}

HOMESCHOOL: Vah! Zee Gear! Conk! It 'as been too long!

CONK: Yes it has, Pop!

HOMESCHOOL: I vought I told you to quit calling me vhat.

CONK: Sorry.

THE GEAR: So, Homeschool, we have a few questions for you!

HOMESCHOOL: Yes, go on.

THE GEAR: First of all, why are you talking like that?

HOMESCHOOL: {reveals himself to have a nasally voice.} Sorry.

CONK: Second, do you know anyone named Slim Kenartsis?

{cut to a shot of the audience. Slim, a cantalope wearing a brown trenchcoat, is in the audience looking hopeful.}

HOMESCHOOL: Can't say that I do.

{cut back to the audience. Slim is glancing at Homeschool.}

THE GEAR: Alright, just asking. But do you know a fellow named Smithy?

HOMESCHOOL: Smithy? Smithy was my co-star on Cantalope Voyages! Course I remember good ol' Smithy!

THE GEAR: That's good, because we have him here with us!

{Smithy, the KOT's blacksmith, walks onscreen.}

SMITHY: Homeschool! It's been long!

{Before Homeschool can reply, a robot that looks like Coach Z but bigger(Jorb Bot) runs onstage.}

JORB BOT: I'm sick of waiting!

HOMESCHOOL: ...he's here too?

CONK: Yeah, our brother is here.

SMITHY: Hey, look, he followed me from the castle!

THE GEAR: We don't mind! In fact, we need him for this next question!

SMITHY: And that is?

THE GEAR: Do you know what the answer to life is?

HOMESCHOOL: Duh.

JORB BOT: Of course.

SMITHY: Why yes. It is-

{cut to a black screen. The words "We now return you to your scheduled program, already in progress." are written in white.}

{cut to The Temple. Trogador and Peevesly are walking in a hallway when The Metallic Chef walks up to them, holding straws.}

METALLIC CHEF: Here are the straws you wanted.{hands them to Trog and walks away.}

TROGADOR: Good, good.

PEEVESLY: Sir, why are you in need of straws!

TROGADOR: You'll see. Have you seen Kray and John?

PEEVESLY: They're right behind this door I'm standing next to!

{cut to the Arcade room. There is everything there - skee ball, basketball, those weird coin things, claw machines, arcade games, and a lot of other stuff. Kray and John are standing at one of the arcade game stations.}

TROGADOR: Kray! John! Quit playing that game and listen!

KRAY: Hold on!

JOHN: Yeah, we're at the final boss in Brainmuncher!

TROGADOR: That zombie game? Can I play?

KRAY: You're a little late!

TROGADOR: Well fine then! Quit playing right now!

KRAY: {looking at Trogador} Didn't you hear us? We're at the final bo-

JOHN: KRAY PAY ATTENTION!

{Kray quickly starts playing the game again, but in a few seconds, a loud "GAME OVER LOSER" is heard.}

KRAY: ...you suck.

TROGADOR: Well, now that I have your attention, I'd like you all to notice the straws in my hands.

JOHN: They're nice straws and all, but how are they important?

TROGADOR: As you know, the mafia has been a threat to all of us. Recently, we have learned that the leader of the Mafia may in fact be Marshie. However, I have no idea how he survived this long, and that's what we're going to find out. We will draw straws.

PEEVESLY: To determine what, sir?

TROGADOR: To determine who will be going where! If you pick the longest straw, you will stay here and guard the temple. If you pick the second longest, you'll go into the city and ask around for information on the mafia. If you have the third longest, you'll go to an old abandoned and haunted Fluffy Puffs Factory down by the Scroll Keep's Ruins. And if you get the shortest, you'll have to infiltrate the mafia warehouse.

KRAY: So let's just pick already!

{Everyone walks over to Trogador and picks their straw. They then compare them with each other.}

PEEVESLY: It appears that I will be staying here! Allow me to boo, and then yah!

JOHN: Well, I have to go down to the city and interview some people.

KRAY: I got the factory, which means...

TROGADOR: Crap.

KRAY: Hah! You have to go to the mafia hideout!

TROGADOR: {sigh} Well, everyone, we drew straws. You know where to go, so let's go.

{everyone but Smithy walks out of the room.}

PEEVESLY: Well, I have the house to myself! Except for the other workers...

CHAZ: {walks in} And me.

PEEVESLY: Ah, sir Chaz! Do you need anything?

CHAZ: Yeah, actually, I do. Trogador left his TrogPilot here.

PEEVESLY: I don't think it would do much use for him, though.

CHAZ: There's one unchecked message though.

PEEVESLY: Really? May I see?

{Chaz throws Peevesly the TrogPilot so Peevesly can look at it.}

PEEVESLY: My word! Gasp! And such!

CHAZ: Yeah, I know.

PEEVESLY: How long has it been since this message was here?

CHAZ: I dunno. Timeclock says it's been roughly 70 hours.

PEEVESLY: 70 HOURS? That means we have only two hours to acquire 100 dollars!

CHAZ: "We"?

PEEVESLY: Trogador may get furious when he finds out that you knew about this, you know.

CHAZ: Oh. You mean that we.

PEEVESLY: But first, I might as well teleport this to Trogador.

{Peevesly walks across the room to the Teleportation Chute, which looks like a laundry shute. He drops the TrogPilot in there.}

PEEVESLY: With that taken care of, we have to get 100 dollars in an hour!

CHAZ: But it said two hours.

PEEVESLY: That would be too late!

CHAZ: Well, okay. Where do we start?

PEEVESLY: Well, I know a place that is sure to have money!

CHAZ: Where?

{cut to a couch. Peevesly is wearing fishing gear and carrying a fishing pole as he fishes for money in it. Chaz is looking bored.}

CHAZ: We've been doing this for five minutes and you still haven't gotten anything.

PEEVESLY: Be patient! I think I'll get sometihng any second now.

CHAZ: That's what you said when we started.

PEEVESLY: {excitedly} I think I have something!

CHAZ: Really? What?

{Peevesly reels in the line to show that he caught a quarter.}

PEEVESLY: It's a quarter!

CHAZ: Well, that puts us at $$99.75 cents to go in 55 minutes!

PEEVESLY: Yes, I know! THings are looking up!

CHAZ: Hey, I passed a place on the way here that has craploads of money in it.

PEEVESLY: Really? Where?

CHAZ: Trogador's Money Vault.

{cut to a big, white hallway. There is a large vault at the end of it. Peevesly and John are standing in front of it. It is also open.}

PEEVESLY: Wow.

CHAZ: Yeah.

PEEVESLY: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go in and get some money!

{they walk into the vault.}

{cut to the end of the long hallway. Vinny, Arbiter, and Sigma, the Hipp Hopp Trio, are standing there.}

VINNY: Alright, boys, they're inside! Let's lock them in!

ARBITER: I fail to see how they let you be the leader of us. Really, I do.

VINNY: What? Do you have a better plan?

ARBITER: No, but I see a problem in yours - Trogador has probably gotten that Jhonka friend of his to make it so if we step in there we'd be roast toast.

SIGMA: I want toast!

VINNY: Shut up, Sig! So, how are we going to lock them in there then?

ARBITER: Well, we should draw straws to find out who we should throw into there to lock it up!

VINNY: Hey, how about this: instead of risking our hides, we risk Sigma's hide and throw him in there?

ARBITER: That's even better.

{Vinny picks up Sigma and throws him into the hallway. once he lands, lasers appear everywhere, along with other security things. The vault door closes.}

{cut to inside the vault. Peevesly and Chaz have a big bag of money next to them. Chaz is banging on the vault door.}

PEEVESLY: Rats! The Hipp Hopp Trio has snuck in and lockd this vault door!

CHAZ: Who are the Hipp Hopp Trio?

PEEVESLY: TRogador told me that they are Mafia Merceneries who they send out to all the work everyone else doesn't feel like doing. In this case, it's locking us in here so they can mess around in the Temple!

CHAZ: Then we need to get out! But the door won't budge!

PEEVESLY: Try using the handle, like this.

{Peevesly walks over, and using the door handle, opens up the vault door.}

CHAZ: Oh.

{they walk out, carrying the bag of money, only to come to a set of lasers that blink on and off.}

PEEVESLY: How are we going to get past this?

CHAZ: Simple. It's like a video game - you have to time it just right so you can get through. Watch and learn.

{Chaz waits until the laser blinks out. At the moment it blinks out, he jumps through to the other side and pulls a switch, turning off the lasers.}

PEEVESLY: Where did you learn that?

CHAZ: A video game. I told you.

PEEVESLY: Can video games help us get past the other three traps?

{the camera panels over to show three more traps in the hallway - some of the floor panels opening up to reveal spikes; a large block falling down, and a set of hovering platforms that de-materialize when you get on them.}

CHAZ: Oh yeah. Follow me.

{the scene skips ahead to where Vinny and Arbiter went. They are searching around the Ancient Room.}

ARBITER: Well, there's nothing over here. How about you?

VINNY: Nothing here except for a stovepipe hat.

ARBITER: Hey! Toss that over here!

{Vinny tosses the stovepipe hat over to Arbiter. He then puts it on and does an Abraham Lincoln impression.}

ARBITER: Four score and seven years ago...

{Suddenly, a scorched Sigma gets thrown at Arbiter, knocking the hat off of him and sending him flying, who in turn flies out the window with the other two. Peevesly and Chaz walk onscreen.}

PEEVESLY: I have been looking for that hat!

CHAZ: Well, our mission's accomplished! We dropped the money off in time AND defeated those goons!

PEEVESLY: Yes! I say we did very well today!

{Suddenly, Kray and John walk into the room. Kray is covered in a green goo.}

PEEVESLY: Ah! Hello, chaps! I see you also finished your mission!

JOHN: Yeah, but-

CHAZ: Hey, what's that stuff all over you Kr-

KRAY: Shut up.

JOHN: Yeah, everyone, shut up. I have some unsettling news.

PEEVESLY: Well, then tell us! And where is Master Trogador?

JOHN: Well, that's the bad news. You see...they captured Trogador.

{everything fades to a gray color. Voice, a guy in a brown cloak, jumps into the camera.}

VOICE: DUN DUN DUN!

Will our heroes find Trogador? Will the mafia win all the marbles? And will John and Kray ever beat Brainmuncher? Find out next time when you give me more emails!

THE END!

Fun Facts

  • The Characters from the opening segment are all from The Noid's old Doreauxgard emails. The end joke is, too.
  • The Ozone Show is a parody of the Oprah Show.
  • Brainmuncher is a series of video arcade games that exist in the universe. You control four hungry zombies who escaped from a zombie prison in it. Kray and John are pretty good at it, but everyone else sucks.
  • The Hipp Hopp Trio are supposed to be the 20X6 forms of The Dancing Brothers.
  • All the traps are supposed to mimic those found in video games; namely platformers.
  • Abraham Lincoln was a famous United State President and one of the greatest, in the author's opinion.
  • "Four score and seven years ago" refers to Lincoln's famous speech.
The Old Trogador Emails

peasants | powers | ICDtHP | lottery | on the lam | cavoplane | monee hunt | big beefy arm | water powers | birdman

worst attempt | no homers | murder | challenge club

Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Trogador/monee_hunt"