Other Character Email Trogador/lottery
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
TROGADOR EMAIL FOUR!
Premise: In the last episode, Trogador left for a conference of some sorts. While he is away, he wins the lottery, and Kray and John gladly accept the prize. Then they blow it all. You would too!
Cast: Voice, Kray, John, Peevesly, Lotto Bot, Harvax XVI, Trogador, Detector Bot, SWAT Bot, Liekand, Blackjack Bot, Shifty Lookin’ Shady Guy
Transcript
{cut to a blank white space. A man wearing a brown cloak is standing there.}
VOICE: Hey everyone! I’m Voice, creator of this universe and this show. Some of you may have noticed that Trogador Emails have been on hiatus. Well, after some careful consideration, and receiving some of those threats you sent me, I have decided to bring the show out of hiatus!
{a voice questionably yells out “yay?”}
VOICE: I knew you would be excited! Anyways, the show will not be resuming with episode three. After some incident we lost all the footage. The incident had stuff involved. Stuff like…ninjas. And Barrels. Lots and lots of barrels. So, on to episode four!
{exit the white space. The camera is taken to the Temple’s Kitchen area. A sleepy looking Kray is sitting at the table, and an even-sleepier looking John is walking in.}
JOHN: {yawns.} Morning.
KRAY: Morning. It’s actually quiet around here without the living ego walking around!
JOHN: I know! By now, Trogador would’ve already made us get up and make breakfast while we chant his favorite songs.
KRAY: I never knew he liked boy bands that much!
JOHN: Creeps me out too. {looks around} Hey, where’d Peevesly go?
{cut to the top of the Temple. Peevesly is tied to the very top of it, with where his mouth should be taped shut.}
PEEVESLY: {muffled speech.}
{cut back to the kitchen.}
KRAY: He went out.
JOHN: Oh, okay. What do you propose we do?
KRAY: Play Lizard, Spork, Meat!
JOHN: Brilliant! ‘’{the two chant Lizard Spork Meat and make signals with their hands.}’’
KRAY: Hah, meat poisons lizard!
{a sign comes up that says “4 Hours Later…}
{the two are still in the kitchen. They look really, REALLY bored. They are still playing the game.}
JOHN: Spork stabs meat. I….I…I…{falls over, sleeping}
{the doorbell rings.}
KRAY: {gets up} Since sleepy fell asleep I’m going to have to answer it…
{cut to the temple’s gates. Inside Kray is walking towards them.}
KRAY: When did we even get a doorbell?
{Kray opens the door, revealing a robot with a tacky purple tie standing there.}
KRAY: Who are you?
LOTTO BOT: Is Mr. Trogador home?
KRAY: No, but if you’re selling cookies, we don’t want any.
LOTTO BOT: Oh, I’m not selling cookies! I’ve come from the lottery and Mr. Trogador has won!
KRAY: Is this a hoax or something and somesuch?
LOTTO BOT: Not at all! We sent an email to his address a few days ago.
{Kray pulls the TrogPilot out of his pocket, revealing to have this message on it:}
Dear T and some kind of Bulnitatol, You won a million! This is your lucky day! Dolpins ATTACHMENT P.S. This IS 20X6 Right? P.S.S. It is dolpins, my name is dolpins, Not dolphins.
KRAY: Huh, I guess you did. I’ll accept the prize for him. He’s at a meeting or something that I don’t really care about.
LOTTO BOT: We have already placed it in your home via helicopter, even though it is primitive. We also noticed a strange mustache taped to the top of it…
KRAY: {reaching his hand into his pocket.} {angrily} Did you untape it?
LOTTO BOT: Nope. Our Helicopter Pilot is afraid of mustaches so he avoided it.
KRAY: {taking his hand out of his pocket.} Oh. Okay. You can go now.
{Kray walks away. The Lotto Bot gets a communicator and starts talking into it.}
LOTTO BOT: Sir Harvax, the pawn is coming back. I hope I gave you enough time.
HARVAX: {voice only} You gave me more than enough! I’m at the donut store buying some. What kind do you like?
LOTTO BOT: Ooh, can I have glazed?
{Back in the Temple, Kray and John are looking at the stacks of money.}
JOHN: There’s tons of it here! I estimate around a lot here!
KRAY: What are we gonna do with it?
JOHN: This money isn’t ours! It’s Trogador's!
KRAY: But he WAS a total jerk to us…
JOHN: True…
KRAY: And I say that’s an excuse worth using!
JOHN: There’s so much of it…what do we spend it on first?
KRAY: Well, my wardrobe needs updating, so why don’t we buy some new clothes?
JOHN: I know just where to find them!
{Meanwhile, Trogador is in what appears to be a palace gate. He is walking through one of the detection machines.}
DETECTION BOT: Okay, you have no metal on you…
TROGADOR: Now can I go?
DETECTION BOT: Not just yet. You see, the biggest threat today isn’t metal…it’s nuclear radiation!
TROGADOR: Uhh…do Uranus Flytraps give off nuclear radiation?
DETECTION BOT: Yes, they do! Now, just step into this detector and you will be able to go…
TROGADOR: {thinking} Come on, don’t worry, it’s probably all worn off by now…there’s nothing to worry about…
{as Trogador walks into it, a siren goes off.}
TROGADOR: Oh sna-
DETECTION BOT: CODE 13-B! GET THE SWAT OVER HERE!
{a large group of robots in black with SWAT written on them dogpile on Trogador.}
{cut the camera to Liekand’s Clothing Emporium. Trogador and Kray are in the dressing rooms, trying new clothes on. Liekand is waiting outside of the rooms.}
LIEKAND: ..and remember, I’m charging extra by the minute.
KRAY: {voice} Whatever Liekand. I know.
LIEKAND: So, are you done yet? Can I se now?
JOHN: {voice} I’ll go first! {John steps out of his dressing room. He is in Mr. Monopoly esque clothing(top hat, monocle, cane, ect.).}
JOHN: What do you think?
LIEKAND: The monocle adds a nice touch! How about you, Mr. Taking A Long Time?
KRAY: {exits the dressing room. He is in a purple leather costume, complete with a hat and cane. His fat has an orange colored feather sticking out of it.} I went with the stylish look.
LIEKAND: Purple is your color! Now, will you both kindly come to the register so we can calculate your bill…
{the camera goes to outside the emporium, where John and Kray are standing.}
JOHN: Well, that didn’t set us back too much! In fact, we have enough money left to divide it equally between us! What are you going to do with your half?
KRAY: That’s easy! Gamble it all away!
{A sign comes up that says “Trogador Emails Does Not Support The Idea of Gambling In Any Way, Shape, or Form. So don’t do it. I totally didn’t lose my life savings doing it. Nope.”}
JOHN: Well I’m investing it in the Stock Market.
KRAY: Have fun. I know I will!
{cut to a Casino. Kray is sitting at a table with some cards in his hands. He has towers of chips in front of him. They suddenly get taken away.}
BLACKJACK BOT: You lose, bucko. You just lost every penny!
KRAY: Woohoo!
{cut back to the temple. Kray and John are in their normal clothes. Trogador walks in with a suitcase.}
TROGADOR: I’m home. What happened while I was gone?
JOHN: Nothing much. You won the lotto.
TROGADOR: Awesome! Where’s all the money?
KRAY: Well, you see…we spent some of it on clothes.
TROGADOR: I don’t care. Where’s the rest of it?
JOHN: Well, I kind of…lost it in the Stock Market.
KRAY: And I gambled some of it away, too.
TROGADOR: WHAT? How much exactly did I win?
JOHN: About one million, seven-hundred twenty-thousand, nine-hundred seventy-eight, fifty-four dollars and twelve cents.
KRAY: Give or take.
TROGADOR: Oh dear oh dear….that’s exactly how much I owed them!
KRAY: Owed who?
TROGADOR: The Dog Food Gangster Mafia! You see, when I was with them, Harvax gave me a loan of that exact amount. It was all the money in the stash, and I spent it all on this Temple. When they discovered that the money was gone, Harvax blamed it on me. They gave me until today to pay it back…and I don’t have it.
JOHN: That explains the tape we found.
{cut to a TV screen. John pushes in a video tape. A Shifty Lookin’ Mysterious Guy appears on the screen.}
SHIFTY LOOKIN’ SHADY GUY: Hello, Trogador. If you have received this, you have won the lottery. We rigged it so you would win. We at the mob expect you to return your dues, unless you want to be sleeping with the godzillas. That is all we have to say. If you do not pay us immediately, we WILL get you. Goodbye Mr. Trogador and have a nice day.
{Trogador is now all red.}
KRAY: Hey, uhh...are you okay?
JOHN: Run Kray!
{cut to iutside of the temple. Steam comes from the windows.}
THE END!
Fun Facts
- Peevesly is the butler featured in episode three. He looks like poltergeist with a mustache. So just imagine a mustache. :P
- Lizard, Spork, Meat is a Rock, Paper, Scissors, parody.
- Trogador has some radiation on him left over from episode two where a Uranus Flytrap gave him superpowers.
- The author isn’t sure whether the card game is Blackjack or not.
- ”Sleeping with the godzillas” refers to the old mafia saying “sleeping with the fishes” and that fact that Godzilla and other stereotypical giant monsters rose out of the sea.
| The Old Trogador Emails |
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peasants | powers | ICDtHP | lottery | on the lam | cavoplane | monee hunt | big beefy arm | water powers | birdman |
