Other Character Email Trogador/peasants
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Trogador Email One!
Premise: Trogador tries to find the ultimate way to burninate Stinkoman.
Cast: Trogador, Kray, John, Pan Pan, 1-Up, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko,Stinkoman, Harvax XVII, Hipp Hopp Trio
Transcript
{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X6". The screen then changes it's text it to "A HERO NAMED STINKOMAN DEFEATED THE K SYNDICATE AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE FOUGHT A DRAGON ON HIS WAY THERE". Then, it shifts to "NOW, THAT DRAGON CHECKS EMAILS WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE. THAT DRAGON IS.....". A few second after this comes up, the screen goes black, and the word "TROGADOR" comes up in orange letters. Below are the options "START GAME", "SECRET CODE WORD", and "OPTIONAL OPTIONS". The first set of words light up, and we get taken to this screen....}
{cut to the outside of a ruined temple in the sky. The camera is moving towards it, until we get to see inside the temple. Trogador is standing there, with two people holding a huge box.}
TROGADOR: Just a little closer...yes, that's it. Drop it!
{the two people drop the box, revealing a Kerrek wearing a black pirate captain costume. The other figure is a Jhonka, but wearing a labcoat, glasses, and has much better posture.}
KRAY: Aye, why can't you carry the blasted thing? You're twice the size of both of us! And look what you did to John!
JOHN: {John, the Jhonka, falls down onto the floor. A loud thud can be heard.}
TROGADOR: Royal, honorable hands do not need to carry things.
KRAY: Whatever. Anyways, what's in that box?
TROGADOR: Oh, the inside of the box...{Trogador opens up the box, digs through the packaging peanuts, until he finally grabs a small, orange and red PDA.}
KRAY: That's...it?
TROGADOR: ...Yeah...It's a Royal PDA! Now I can see what my followers say to me!
KRAY: One, why did they put in metal white packaging peanuts, and two, I think almost no one knows you still exist!
TROGADOR: One, because this thing was shipped by The Lourde Shipping Company. And yes, people do know I exist!
KRAY: Besides me and fainty over there, name five people.
TROGADOR: Well, there was this one guy I saw at a party...you remember him, right? And then there was that one girl...and hr name was...uhm....crap. I guess you are right...nobody knows about me! And do you wanna know what's to blame?
KRAY: Tight pants?
TROGADOR: No...it's that little freak, Stinkoman! he thinks he's better than all of us...well, I'll show him! Call a meeting to everyone!
KRAY: {turns around and kicks John.} Get up, you.
{cut to an ancient looking room, with a fireplace, wooden table, and red tapestries hanging from the ceiling. Trogador is at the table, along with Kray and John(who is now wearing an ice pack.)}
TROGADOR: Okay, people, it has come to my attention that that little hog, Stinkoman, is hogging all of the spotlight.{turns around and blows on the fireplace and turns back around.} Therefore, I shall be burninating him into the ground.
JOHN: Burninating? That is so a coupla centuries ago! Why don't you use technology?
TROGADOR: Erm...what is this technology you speak of?
JOHN: Oh, it's metal and shiny and capable of destroying things-
TROGADOR: Don't have to say that twice to get me hooked! Show me this technology!
KRAY: Do you really think that that's such a good idea? Remember the last time you listened to John?
{cut to what seems to be a party. A banner saying "FOUR-HUNDERDTH DIETY SCHOOL REUNION!" is held. Trogador then walks in, wearing a rainbow afro, sunglasses, old filthy seventies-styled clothes, and gold teeth.}
TROGADOR: Hey, wazzup dog food gangstats! Kibbles For Life! Anybody willing to give me four hundred bucks?
{large amounts of laughter is heard.}
{cut back to the ancient room.}
JOHN: Okay, so maybe I don't know what everybody else wears these days, but I do know that this is going to work!
TROGADOR: Then show me some of your technology!
{cut to the field. Pan Pan and 1-Up are tied to a rope, being lowered into a vat of lava by Tampo. Brody is taunting the victims, and Stlunko is keeping guard.}
PAN PAN: (I knew I shouldn't have agreed to bring you to Pudding Mart!)
1-UP: Pudding? WHERE?
BRODY: Ha, you're not getting any pudding! That's cause you'll be fried before you can ever see any pudding ever again!
TAMPO: Brody, this is not the time. Gloat in their faces when rebuild them as mindless drones. Stlunko, is there anything coming?
STLUNKO: No, there is nothing on the rad-{a series of beeps start coming from the radar.} Nevermind that. It appears there to be something about 100 yards away.
TAMPO: Attack it!
STLUNKO: I will.{Stlunko runs up about 100 yards, over a hill. The noises of something getting beaten up and explosions are heard. Suddenly, a beaten Stlunko flies over the hill, right into Brody.}
BRODY: Augh!{Brody stumbles and trips over, right onto Tampo, knocking both of them down.}
TAMPO: Please don't tell me....
BRODY: Say it isn't true...
STLUNKO: It is...
STINKOMAN: {dashing in the air to 1-Up and Pan Pan.} DOUBLE DUECE!!!!!
{1-Up and Pan Pan are free. Tampo is laying on the ground, beaten, while Brody's legs have fallen apart(he's trying to put them back together.). Stlunko is laying upside down.}
STINKOMAN: That was some good fighting, but now I want to rest...
TROGADOR: {voice only} Not so fast, Stinkoman!
STINKOMAN: Wha?{turns around to see Trogador operating a spider type walking robot, with mortar missles mounted.}
TROGADOR: I shall finally get my revenge on what you did to me! Now, missiles, attack!{waits for a few seconds, but nothing happens.} Launch Sesame?{nothing still happens. Stinkoman begins to make his way over to back of the spider, where he presses a button. The spider then blows up, and Trogador is jettisoned into the air.}
{cut back to he ancient room. Everyone is in there spots.}
KRAY: See, I told you it wasn't a good idea.
JOHN: It's not my fault you don't know how to press a button!
TROGADOR: Okay, so that plan failed. I guess burninating is still the best way to do it...
KRAY: No way! You gotta fight him like a man! Not using any of your fire! Sneak up on him when he's vulnerable!
TROGADOR: Hmm...I like your idea...
{cut to Stinkoman's room. he is in bed, and just waking up. He opens his eyes, and to his horror, he sees 1-Up's head on it. Harvax is also standing there, laughing.}
STINKOMAN: 1-Up, what is your head doing in my bed?
1-UP: I like pudding!
HARVAX: This is all courtesy of the Dog Food Gangsters, Beggin Strips Section!
STINKOMAN: {throws 1-Up's head at Harvax's eye, making him fall on the ground.} Augh! Vinny! Arbiter! Sigma! Get that runt!
{three dancing brothers look-a-likes run on the screen. They however, have different shoes, and Harvax's style of clothes on.}
STINKOMAN: {Gets out of bed and jumps on Arbiter's head, knocking him down. He then picks up Arbiter by the feet and throws him into Vinny. Then, him and Sigma do the "ninja eye" tihng to each other, and Stinkoman charges at Sigma. He jumps over Sigma, and kicks him from behind, knocking him into Harvax, who falls over.}
TROGADOR: {walks in wearing boxer's shorts and boxing gloves.} Hey, Stinkoman! Put em' up, put em' up!
1-UP: Pudding up?{the head hops forward and bites Trogador on the foot. He then falls over and crawls out.}
{Cut to John and Kray standing in the field. A beaten up Trogador then walks onto the screen.}
KRAY: Ooh, I take it it didn't go so well, eh?
TROGADOR: Gee, you think? I have had it up to here with all of this! Technology and being a man! I don't care! I'm going to burninate that sucker, and I'm burninating him now!{Trogador runs off into the distance and then starts chasing after a little black speck. You can see fire coming out of Trogador's figure.}
JOHN: So...I guess that's the email....
KRAY: Do we even get payed for this?
JOHN: No.
KRAY: I'll bring this up at our next board meeting....
{cut to a screen that says "GAME OVER". Below it are two options. "EMAIL" will allow you to email Trogador. "STAGE SELECT" brings you back to the email selection page.}
Fun Facts
- The opening scene, and the end are both obvious references to early Mega Man games.
- Blaming on tight pants is a reference to the Strong bad Email, super powers.
- The Lourde Shipping Company refers to the Heavy Lourde.
- "That is so a coupla centuries ago!" refers to the phrase, "That is so five minutes ago."
- Dog Food Gangsta is another Strong Bad email reference.
- Kibbles is a type of dog food.
- This email also shows 1-Up's obsession with pudding.
- Stinkoman waking up to see 1-Up's head in his bed is a reference to the movie, The Godfather.
- Beggin Strips is also a type of dog food.
- The "ninja eye thing" is when the screen narrows and focuses only on the people's eyes.
| The Old Trogador Emails |
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peasants | powers | ICDtHP | lottery | on the lam | cavoplane | monee hunt | big beefy arm | water powers | birdman |
