Other Character Email Trogador/challenge club
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Trogador Emails 004
First Rule About Challenge Club: Don't Talk About Challenge Club
Trogador explains where he's been for the past few months. And where is this? Paying off debts to Tampo. And why was he paying off debts to Tampo? Because he got his head in deep with a super secret underground fighting organization called Challenge Club.
Transcript
{cut to black screen that says "IN A.D 20X6". The screen then changes it's text it to "NOID GOT LAZY AND DECIDED TO THROW THIS TOGETHER. TRY TO ENJOY.
{cut to the Temple. Trogador is lying down on the couch, watching holovision TV.}
TV: Hey you, sittin' on the couch! Why don't you get up and get a job working at some coffee store or something?
{Kray runs into the room.}
KRAY: Hey, Troggie! I was in the kitchen making some toast and there was sorta a fire and-
TROGADOR: Be quiet, Kray...or Krew...or whatever your name is! I'm watching stuff!
TV: Other benefits of coffee stores probably include some dental, health care, and a cruise out on the Challenge City Garbage Barge!
{John runs into the room.}
JOHN: Hey, Trogador, you know those sea monkeys you wanted me to mutate? Well, they sorta got set loose and got into that teleporter, and I'm pretty sure a bunch of gigantic seamonkeys just hopped on into Baron's palace.
TROGADOR: That's a good thing! And SHH! I'm learning the benefits of a coffee shop!
TV: You wanna hear about money? How about enough to go see that sweet ancient wonders of the western world thing at the museum? I hear they got some pretty sha-weet looking Batman costumes on display!
{Drew runs in}
DREW: Trogador! There was a fire in the kitchen and-
TROGADOR: Will everybody just stop bugging me? An evil genius needs break time too!
{Clyde hovers in}
CLYDE: Heeeeeey, Big T. Found that little rubber thing you poured your life into.
{Clyde tosses the TrogPilot over to Trogador, who picks it up.}
TROGADOR: Oh, yeah, I had one of these...better check my messages...
To my bud the Troga-dor, If you are such a mighty challenge and fighters, why don't you use this to your advantage and WIN YOU TWO MORE MONEY! I've heard blue haired chaps would jump at the chance to challenge and fight. This is a quality idea. -Mr. Moneybux
TROGADOR: Wait, I should have deleted that one months ago!
CLYDE: No, Trog! Think! This show needs ratings! Mind explaining to the viewers why you're deleting it?
TROGADOR: {sighs} Fine, fine. It all started some months ago when I got this message.....
{Flashback. Trogador is sitting on the couch, reading the message.}
TROGADOR: TWO more money? I only need ONE more money to bribe that mobster! Sweet!
{Clyde floats over to Trogador.}
CLYDE: What's that? You joining Challenge Club? Get that two more money?
TROGADOR: Uhh...yeah, Clyde -
CLYDE: Sweet! I have experience there! I was Tony D's trainer, and now I'll be yours!
TROGADOR: Didn't Tony D get a concussion his first match?
CLYDE: Yeah, but the punk had it coming to him. Now, c'mon, we need todo a training montage...
{Trumpets play in the background. Trogador is lifting weights with Kray. Kray manages to bench 175 pounds. Trogador walks over and gets crushed under the weight. Cut to the kitchen. John is mixing a drink in the blender. Trogador drinks the whole blender. After a few seconds, he runs over to the window and bends down over it.}
{Cut to a balcony. Drew and Trogador are playing hot potato with a pie. Trogador catches it with his face and starts running, looking for water. Cut back to the kitchen. Trogador is still bent down over the window. Cut to a tall building with tons of stairs. Clyde is timing Trogador as he runs up to the top. About halfway to the top, Trogador slips and falls backwards. The trumpets stop.}
{Cut to The Underground Challenge Club Arena. Trogador is there, as is Clyde.}
CLYDE: Trog, I stayed outside for a few hours and I gotta tell you everyone here's no match for you. There'll all tiny little shrimps compared to you!
TROGADOR: Clyde, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda hefty....
CLYDE: Yeah, well, you can just step on anybody that bothers you!
{Tampo hovers over.}
TAMPO: Hello, Trogador.
TROGADOR: Hello, Newman- I mean, Tampo...
TAMPO: What brings you and...him over to the Challenge Club?
TROGADOR: Mr. Moneybux personally requested that I beat all of you up.
TAMPO: Oh, really? Well, since you're competing, I say we make a little wager.
CLYDE: I don't care about gambling, I'll just sell him to ya now...
TAMPO: Interesting, but no thanks. If my contestant wins the battle, you become my slave until it's not fun to hit you.
TROGADOR: And if I win?
TAMPO: I'll give you THREE more money.
CLYDE AND TROGADOR: Deal!
TAMPO: By the way, Trogador. There's something alive in the kitchen in our building. I hope you can get it out...
{cut to the ring. Clyde is announcing the fighters.}
CLYDE: In one corner, weighing in at breaking the scale, the wrangler, the masher, the mashangler rasher: Trogador!
{Trogador steps out. Several people boo.}
CLYDE: An in the other corner, weighing in at fixing the scale and then breaking it again, we have the iron man, the rocket man, the ...aqua man, STLUNKO!
{Stlunko rolls out onto the ring. Several people cheer.}
STLUNKO: I am going to enjoy this.
{Stlunko wheels over and picks Trogador up. He then throws him down onto the ground and tramples him. Next, Stlunko punches a hole through the ring, which Trogador falls through. Stlunko picks him up and then uppercuts him out of the ring. Trogador lands by Tampo.}
TAMPO: You'll need a mask for getting rid of that thing in the kitchen, Trogador.
{cut back to the couch.}
TROGADOR: And that's why I wasn't here all those months. Now, please, the ratings for this are already beneath Clyde's IQ, so let me watch TV.
CLYDE: Heh, you said my name!
THE END
{cut to a black screen that says "GAME OVER". Options are "EMAIL" and "STAGE SELECT".}
| The Old Trogador Emails |
|---|
|
peasants | powers | ICDtHP | lottery | on the lam | cavoplane | monee hunt | big beefy arm | water powers | birdman |
|
worst attempt | no homers | murder | challenge club |
