Other Character Email Saargtsson/double letters

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Contents

Overview

Saargtsson E-mail 10 - double letters

Summary - Saargtsson describes the made-up mystery behind the two a's and s's in his name, and then throws a party.

Cast (in order of appearance) - Saargtsson, Various Snake-Dragons, Fiery-Hot, Chorch, Gaspeau, Stinkoman, Astromund, 1-Up, a buncha other party guests I won't bother naming, Sstinkomaan (easter egg)

Page Title - Fiery 3X6 times 10th e-mail!

Transcript

SAARGTSSON: {singing} I wish I had an e-mail, for one moment of love...

{He pulls up the e-mail and reads it word for word... like always. Why must I constantly remind you people about this?!}

Dear Saargtsson,
I noticed you have two pairs of double
letters in your name. Isn't that selfish?
You should share them with people who don't,
like Stinkoman. (Sstinkomaan, perhaps?)
Also, where did you get these fabed double
letters in your name? Some sorta contest or
somethin'?
-Josh, yo

SAARGTSSON: {reading the signature} Josh... oh, one of those two letter state abbrieviations... I'm so bad with these. Let's see, y...o... ...ming? Wyoming! Josh from Wyoming! Oh, I'm good.

{He clears the screen and starts typing as he speaks}

SAARGTSSON: Well, you might think that I'm selfish, and I should share, and I'd dock your pay by 20 power crunches had you not insulted me so. See, you're just a plain old person. And if there's one thing plain old people don't understand, it's that dragon-snakes have a lot of weird and complex traditions that you guys would NEVER understand. Never. See, our double letters are, as you probably guessed, a symbol of super-awesomeness, which is why I have two. I'm DOUBLE awesome. Let me try to explain to the rest of you plain old people out there how our... anigmous... traditions work.

{Cut to a white background with a bunch of different lava-snakes, some of them that look like Saargtsson, some totally different, sitting still, looking around in curiosity.}

SAARGTSSON: See, at a significant time during any snake's life, their parents... can decide to pass down some of their double letters to their kids. Yeah. Like, say... uh...

{As Saargtsson mumbles, all but three of the lava snakes disappear, two parents and a little girl. The name "Polkina" appears above her head.}

SAARGTSSON: Say Polkina over here obtains 500 power crunches, a number which I have WAY surpassed, but isn't bad for a kid with a dumb name.

{A bunch of Power Crunches in different colors appear beneath Polkina, who looks happy about it.}

SAARGTSSON: Her parents approve, and award her with a double letter in her name to commemorate her sheer awesome.

{Polkina's parents nod to each other, and the name "Polkina" above her head becomes "Polkiina". She looks overjoyed for a few seconds, and then the camera cuts back to Saargtsson at his computer.}

SAARGTSSON: {typing} Well, since I never knew my parents, I got to decide that I was awesome enough for all those double letters. And that's the story of how my name came to be. And guess what else? If something else significant happens to me, I can give double letters to other people, too! Yup, it's true! And since I'm the only dragon-snake in existence, I'm perfectly justified in making up my own traditions! Erm, not that that has anything to do with this situation... {He stops typing} Wait a second...

{He clears the screen and types in "saargmail_list.exe". A short list of all the names of the e-mails he's answered pops up on screen. He mumbles to himself, counting.}

SAARGTSSON: You know what? I've finally reached double digits in my e-mail count! That's definitely significant! And you guys know what that means?! I HEREBY DUB THEE JOSSH WITH TWO S's!!! SHOW 'EM OFF WITH PRIDE TO YOUR WYOMING BREATHREN AND SISTERIN!

{He gets up and leaves the room. Cut to outside Saargtsson's lair, where Fiery-Hot is cutting wires that seem to lead back to his house. Saargtsson floats in, and bursts of confetti follow his entrance.}

SAARGTSSON: GUEEEESS WHA... What are you doing?

FIERY-HOT: I'm cutting off all phone lines that come even directly near my office. If Chorch calls me ONE MORE TIME...

SAARGTSSON: Forget that! I'm renaming you Fiiery-Hot, with two I's!

FIERY-HOT: ...Ummm, joy?

SAARGTSSON: That's right! You've been judged awesome enough to use double letters!

FIERY-HOT: Wow, really? That's great! We should celebrate! {He says this in the exact same manner Saargtsson did.}

SAARGTSSON: Good idea! In honor of your new title, I appoint you official cake-baker! Get to work!

FIERY-HOT: {Beginning to walk off} Yes, sir! I'm so honored...

{Saargtsson floats off screen, too.}

FIERY-HOT: {From off-screen} Hey, wait a second...

{Cut to Chorch's house, where Chorch is dialing a phone while Gaspeau is lying down on the couch next to him.}

CHORCH: I don't get it, I keep calling, but the call never gets through...

GASPEAU: Call the opermerator or something.

{Saargtsson suddenly bursts through the door, the confetti bursting behind him again.}

SAARGTSSON: I HEREBY DUB-ETH THEE CHORRCH AND SLLOB! You've been deemed worthy of the fabled-as-of-now double letters! And I'm throwing a party at my lair to commemorate this glorious made-up holiday!

CHORCH: That's twice the daily recommended amount of R in my name!

GASPEAU: And no one's invited me to a party before!

CHORCH: Yeah, me neither!

SAARGTSSON: That's exactly why I'm making you two the ushers, so you can't interact with anyone! {speaking very quickly} See you in a bit, bye!

{Saargtsson walks out, leaving Gaspeau and Chorch looking bewildered and offended. The screen then fades to black. The camera pans to Saargtsson's living room, where many 20X6 characters are standing around, talking and eating. All of them wear a nametag with an extra letter in their name.}

STINKOMAN: {To an Astromund} So then I said to him, ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE???!!

ASTROMUND: Um, don't you say that to everybody?

STINKOMAN: Well, yeah, but this time there was a lot of meaning behind saying it. You know, I was implying that uh... he was asking for a BIG challenge. With depth.

{The noise of the crowd talking dies down as Saargtsson enters the room, clearly ready to make a speech. The last thing we can hear someone in the crowd saying is "Yeah, but that was when I was a woma... oh, crap."}

SAARGTSSON: Ladies, gentlemen, robots and uh... whatever the rest of you are. I just want to congratulate you all on helping ME reach double digits in my e-mail!

{The crowd all murmurs to each other, sounding annoyed}

CHORCH: {Yelling from the crowd} You said this was for 'our' double letters!

SAARGTSSON: Well, yeah, but the only reason I gave them to you was because I reached my tenth e-mail answered.

{The crowd begins to murmur more loudly.}

1-UP: Where's the puudding? You said there'd be puudding with two u's!

FIERY-HOT: I spent the whole day slaving over my hot self baking this thing just for YOU?!

GASPEAU: If we're awesome like you now, WE should be the ones in charge! We're not just plain old people anymore, right?!

{The crowd yells its approval and begins to swarm around Saargtsson.}

SAARGTSSON: NO... NO! My creations!!! NOOOO!!!

{Cut back to Saargtsson's empty desk. The cursor on the computer flashes for a few minutes as the unmistakable sounds of Saargtsson being mob-beaten-to-a-pulp are heard a few rooms over. Suddenly, the room shaking from the beatdown causes a torch on the wall to fall from the 'bove and hit Saargtsson's keyboard. The camera zooms in on the keyboard, and we can see the torch hitting a button labeled "reset". Suddenly, the screen (of your computer, not Saargtsson's) flashes black, and Saargtsson is sitting at his computer again, typing the .exe with which he reads his e-mails.}

SAARGTSSON: {singing in the exact same manner as before} I wish I had an e-mail, for one moment of love...

{The same e-mail as before appears on the computer screen, but before Saargtsson can start reading it, the screen flashes orange with a fiery background, and the word "TORCHED!" appear. The e-mail has disappeared.}

SAARGTSSON: Wha... HEY! What happened to my e-mail?! That was my tenth one! I was about to set a new record for Most E-mails answered by a Dragon-Snake... oh, oops. I accidentally pushed the Torch button... you know what's weird, though... doing that has suddenly made me feel marginally more awesome than everyone else on Planet K. Moreso than usual. Huh. Oh well, sorry to disappoint you guys, but I'm gonna have to end this one here... I have a sudden urge to eat some cake...

{Saargtsson gets up and the paper comes down, reading: "Is Saargtsson REALLY still awesome? Tune in for the next exciting installment! Or e-mail him. That works, too.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the names of each e-mail as Saargtsson brings up the list of e-mails answered so far to see a picture from the one you clicked on:
    • For lava is a picture of Chorch beating up a refrigerator
    • For everyday is Frotzer and Saargtsson sitting at Pink Clouds One-Bee's
    • For transportation is Fiery-Hot and Gaspeau on the Lava Boat
    • For zyves is a picture of the Basement of Secrets door
    • For history is a picture of Baby Saargtsson in the snow
    • For soul crunch is a picture of the Soul Crunch
    • For prank mail is a picture of Gypsy
    • For TV is Stinkoman being attacked by Taco Vultures
    • For stupid people is My Benj and Saargtsson at their computers
  • Click on Saargtsson's keyboard at the end of the e-mail to see what would happen if Stinkoman did have some double letters.

{Cut to a view of the 20X6 Field. Sstinkomaan, who looks like a differently-proportioned and colored Stinkoman is holding up his arms in typical "double deuce" fashion.}

SSTINKOMAAN: DOUBLE LETTER DEEEEEEUCE!

  • Click on the words "Fiery 3X6" on Saargtsson's computer to see a box of cereal called "Chorrch Flakes" featuring a picture of Chorch on the front. Written beneath the picture is "Now with twice the daily recommended amount of R!"

Fun Facts

  • This e-mail song is a parody on another Nightwish song, I Wish I Had an Angel. I like Nightwish :)
    • Yes, I finally figured out how to link to the Wikipedia.
  • Saargtsson talking about how he never knew his parents is from history.
  • Hmm, why would Fiery-Hot not want Chorch to call? Could it be that joke I've been using since the first e-mail?! YES! And I'll probably be using it more, so NYEAH.
  • When Fiery-Hot said he was "slaving over his hot self" to make the cake, I meant it to sound like he cooked the cake with his body, in case that confused anyone...
  • I'm pretty sure that this is my longest e-mail to date... hopefully I'll be able to keep makin' 'em longer. And awesomer

Links

Retrieved from "http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Saargtsson/double_letters"