Other Character Email Ice Machine/the master

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Contents

Synopsis

The Almighty Fridge In: the master - We must find that missing fishing pole!

We find out why An Ice Machine lives in Red Button Ice Land. And we also find out that An Ice Machine doesn't really know Stinkoman too well. And we also find out that Joey the Otaku Choch has Sticklyman's AIM! WOW. I AM SO SAD.

Cast (in order of appearance): An Ice Machine, Ol' Bubba, Joey the Otaku Chorch, Construction Worker, Sticklyman, Stinkoman, 1-Up

Page Title: Xiao Xiao No. 10

168(119) LINES, DUDETTE! NO EASTER EGGS LINESES INCLUDED, DAWGETTE. SPACES IS INCLUDED?!!

Transcript

{We open up to an empty DEATHTRAPARLOR interior for a few seconds. Ambience of wind rustling is heard in the background. Then, a flash, and An Ice Machine, Joey the Otaku Chorch, and Ol’ Bubba appear behind the counter.}

ICE MACHINE: Whoa! I don’t how the heck we got out safely, but thank God that we’re still alive…I mean…{faces Ol’ Bubba}…you’re…still…alive…are you okay, mister old person? You look shaken up.

{Pan to a foaming-at-the-mouth Ol’ Bubba}

OL’ BUBBA: I won’t rest ‘til I find ‘dat ‘dang sometin’ who took mah’ fishin’ pole! {jumps over counter and walks over to front door, mumbling} Darned snake will be ‘darned sorry he took mah pole…{passes through front door}…very sorry…{sounds of thin ice cracking, then a splash}…OIF!!!

{Silence for a few seconds. Then we pan to Joey and An Ice Machine.}

ICE MACHINE: I gotta fix that thin ice trap.

JOEY: You know, as the people were studying that aftermath, I kinda wondered how the heck we got back from that ICEstroph-

ICE MACHINE: {sudden echoey shout} DON’T BITE MY STYLE!!!

{Screen wipe upwards to a Construction Worker man standing next to a panel holding a single red button.}

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Uhhhh…what did that thing do again? {slams red button with fist, we hear electricity and some girl screaming} Oh.

{Screen wipe downwards to the DEATHTRAPARLOR.}

ICE MACHINE: Well, they don’t call it “Red Button Ice Land” for nothing, now, do they?

JOEY: Well, um, I kinda…remember seeing…a red button…on display.

ICE MACHINE: Yeah, well, quit saying words. {faces FreezyKey and types in “c://program files/Ice Machine Email V1.5”, raps} Let’s check some email while I’m at it, and everyone will be happy! Except for you, 1-Up. {brings up email}

ICE MACHINE: {reads off “fr” as “fer” and “Miranda Kikipolio” as “Mirandy Kikipolia”} Interesting name. {clears screen and starts typing and speaking} Work for the master…I assume you mean Sticklyman, right? Because the truth is, I’m also a 2-in-1 supercomputer. Wait, I got that from an old home movie. I’m just An Ice Machine. Now, about Sticklyman. He’s a really awesome guy. But you better get away from him, though, because HE’LL TEAR YOUR LIMBS APART…FREEZE…{types in “APREEZE”} {stops typing} okay, that was another bad pun. {continues typing} Sticklyman is an awesome guy. But he’s more than just a stick. He is sticky bad guy. With…Thailand Kung Fu powers. I remember seeing him train at the Free Haven Dojo in 20X6 Central…

{Swirly flashback effect. We cut to outside a small building with an overhead sign “FREE HAVEN DOJO – free Kung Fu lessons for $29.99”. We pan to An Ice Machine outside the building, looking inside through the glass display wall. Currently, the only two people inside are Sticklyman, who is currently punching and kicking a swinging overhead punching bag, and Stinkoman, who is using two chopsticks to battle the spinning combat dummy.}

ICE MACHINE: Whoa! Check out that Sticklyman! Go! Go! Go! Sticklyman! You can do it! You can do itFREEZE! I mean, you can really do it! Go Sticklyman! Stinkoman sucks on ice! You’re better than him! {raises voice} GO STICKLYMAN! KEEP PUNCHING THE HECK OUTTA THAT PUNCHING BAG YOU PUNCH! WHOO! PUNCH THAT PUNCHFREEZE BAG ON CRAPPY ICE! C’MON-

{Pan out, record is heard scratching. We see 1-Up next to An Ice Machine}

1-UP: Hi, Famous-Contraption-I’ve-Possibly-Seen-Before! Do you know where Stinkoman is?

ICE MACHINE: Uh…{faces to the right side of the screen}…right down that sidewalk, take a left when you reach Challenge St. and a right when you reach Konami Driveway. He should be waiting for you right in the middle of Fangus Drive.

1-UP: I have no idea what you just said, but thanks for the advice! {runs off-screen} Hey! The guy! Wait for me!

ICE MACHINE: Heh...{pan back to An Ice Machine}…what a sucker.

1-UP: {pokes head from right} What did you just say?

ICE MACHINE: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, YA FREAKIN’ RUNT!!!

1-UP: {sigh} Fine... {walks off-screen}

ICE MACHINE: Finally, I can get back to watching Sticklyman fight stuff. {faces glass panel} WOOOOOOO! GO STICKLYMAN! IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY! WE’RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

{Dissolve back to An Ice Machine and the FreezyKey.}

ICE MACHINE: {typing and speaking} And then, Sticklyman found out I was distracting him and beat me to a bloody pulp. Okay, I lied. He PUNCHED me in the eye. Do you know how painful it is to be punched in the EYE?! That’s like, one of my flaws as I was built. {whispering, types in small text} Don’t tell the neighbors. {speaks normally and types normally} There’s another reason you should know whyICE Sticklyman is awesome. I just found out that Sticklyman’s AIM is “StinklymanDotBiz”. Joey has AIM, but, well, uh, it’s on another computer.

{Pan to one of the tables. Joey is holding a blue palm pilot in his left hand and touching letters on-screen with a stylus in his other hand. Screen reads:}

OtakuChorch20X6: And this is why I never bother poking Ice Machine in the eye
StinklymanDotBiz: LoL
StinklymanDotBiz: Did he poke you back?
OtakuChorch20X6: Nah

{An Ice Machine casually strolls up to Joey.}

ICE MACHINE: {peering over Joey’s right arm} So, you’re talking about that time you listened to too much ska, huh?

JOEY: Quit saying stuff. I’m busy chatting with a “fiend” of mine.

ICE MACHINE: It’s SNOWYman, huh?

JOEY: Yes indeed, An Ice Traitor, and you will be him too, if you don’t play that arcade machine for the next 24 hours!

ICE MACHINE: That doesn’t make sense, and guess what that makes you? A sno-cone. No, wait, that makes you-

JOEY: Hush up.

{Ice Machine acts surprised and heads back for the FreezyKey.}

JOEY: Ah, good ol’ Tortilla Manganoid. You never cease to fail me. Especially when it comes to Torrent downloading anime B-Movies eligible for MST3K.

{Pan to the screen of the Manganoid.}

StinklymanDotBiz: hello?
StinklymanDotBiz: you there?
OtakuChorch20X6: I am happy to announce that An Ice Machine just got serv’d again
StinklymanDotBiz: uh, w00t?
OtakuChorch20X6: yes, w00t

{We cut to An Ice Machine sitting down in front of the FreezyKey.}

ICE MACHINE: {typing and speaking} See what I mean? THAT COMPUTER MAKES ME SOOOOOOOOO MAD. IT MAKES ME WANT TO DO STUFF. Like, FREEZE SOMEBODY! Grumble grumble! Raaaaaaaagh. Uh, pthoooo! {spits out some snow on the FreezyKey, then quickly sucks it back in with the two “horns” on his face. He isn’t typing} Well, that was pointless. {starts typing} In conclusion, Sticklyman is part stick part awesome part not FREEZE. And for lack of better words, stay away from him. He, like me, is insane. And can punch me in the eye. So, remember, DON’T GET PUNCHED IN THE- {blue lightning descend from above and zaps An Ice Machine, electrocuting him} AAAAAAZZZZZZGHH!!! MY EYE!!! IZZZZZZZZZZ BEEEEEENZZZ ELECTROCUTED BY RED BUTTON LIGHTZZZZNINGZZZZ!!! {electrocution stops, An Ice Machine is charred. He doesn’t type} Man, when I find that person who red buttoned my eye, I’m gonna say what Stinkoman has to say when he is obsessed with FREEZING challenges and challenge the crap out of him!

JOEY: {off-screen} THE TORTILLA MANGANOID STRIKES AGAIN!!!

ICE MACHINE: Why you…!!! {top hatch opens and a flurry of snowballs fly out from it. Splashing sounds are heard}

JOEY: {off-screen} ARGH! {thump} FROSTBITE! {electrocution} ARGH! RED BUTTON LIGHTNING!

{A short, dramatic 8-bit clip of music plays as the words “GAME OVER” are displayed. As the music stops, the email anicemachine@redbuttonspies.com appears.}

Easter Eggs

  • Press the Space Bar after the words "Game Over" appear to see this creepy easter egg:

{Cut to the Construction Worker next to the red button}

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Okay, so what if I slam on this button this time? {pushes button}

{Suddenly, a random scary image(the walrus from Eskimo Bob, Wario's nose, or the classic grey guy with black paint as eyes) appears, accompanied with a short sample of techno music(Benni Benassi's "Satisfaction", Darude's "Sandstorm", or the AYB remix).}

Fun Facts

Real-World References

  • The easter egg is a tribute to scary pranks out there.
  • Red Button Lightning and the whole "challenge the crap" deal come from Level 7 - ICE 2 MEET U! of Stinkoman 20X6.

Inside References

  • Joey saying that An Ice Machine must play the arcade console for 24 hours refers back to AWAY!!! as An Ice Machine does said action and Joey checks said Ice Machine's email.
  • Once again, being hit in the eyes is An Ice Machine's weakness.

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