Other Character Email Ice Machine/flava

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Synopsis

The Almighty Fridge In: flava - Don't you dare go off track on edibleness!

An Ice Machine gets confused but eager on his Ice Machineness. We learn that he actually wasn't built to dispense sno-cones.

Cast (in order of appearance): Joey the Otaku Chorch, An Ice Machine

Page Title: Flava Flav in "FreezyKey: Teh Moive!!!!!11111"

145(122) LINES, DUDETTE! NO EASTER EGGS LINESES INCLUDED, DAWGETTE. SPACES IS INCLUDED?!!

Transcript

{Opening up to the DEATHTRAPARLOR, we pan to Joey sitting at the counter, chatting on AIM using his Tortilla Manganoid 1.}

OtakuChorch20X6: Well that sucks
StinklymanDotBiz: Yep
StinklymanDotBiz: What’s even worse is that they’ve escaped with the Metal Gear K
OtakuChorch20X6: OH NOES
OtakuChorch20X6: Is that bad?
StinklymanDotBiz: Not sure
StinklymanDotBiz: They may have already fled to that factory in 20X6 Central
OtakuChorch20X6: Are they planning on ruling the world?
StinklymanDotBiz: Dude, they bite my style
StinklymanDotBiz: Though I wish only to rule 20X6

{A door is heard swinging, and An Ice Machine hops through, landing upside-down, sliding to the counter.}

ICE MACHINE: Did I land perfectly?

JOEY: You look like Basil Sauce doing that.

ICE MACHINE: {flips in upright position} How can Basil Sauce be upside down? You just HAVE to FREEZE on your shaping classes, Otaku Joey.

JOEY: …where do I find-

ICE MACHINE: Quiet, you FREEZER. {faces FreezyKey and types in “c://program files/Ice Machine Email V1.5”} Like you, I need to check email. {brings up email}

ICE MACHINE: {clears screen, starts typing and speaking} Well, first of all, Muffin Maniac, YOU GOT MY NAME RIGHTWRONG. It’s “TEH ALMIGHTY FRIDGE” to you. Or just plain “An Ice Machine”. Secondly, I don’t know how many flavors I have. I do know of two flavors I have, though, and those are stolen premises of Challenge and Fighting. And saying words like FREEZE, ICE, SNOW, FROZE, WINTER, SNOWFLAKE, all those stuff you find in a manga comic about Stinkoman. {clears screen} Big question equals {types in “=”} How many REAL flavors? Well, yeah, I am An Ice Machine after all, but do you consider me as An Ice Cream Machine? Well, heck yeah! For metal flavors, I come in Original, {pic of An Ice Machine standing on thin ice is shown} Buzz Lightyear, {An Ice Machine in the picture now morphs to Galactic Ranger attire}, Harley Harlemson, {An Ice Machine is now wearing an afro and coated in steel black}, Counter-Strike mod, {An Ice Machine has a camo skin with Image Intensifier goggles}, and finally Power Outage. {An Ice Machine wears a hard hat and is coated in blue with holes on his face}. Aaaaaaaaand now…{pic fades, An Ice Machine clears screen and types in “c://program files/the big list of ice cream flavors.rtf”. He brings the list up:}

ICE MACHINE: Whoa, that is a LOT. ICE. Yeah. Although I don’t remember creating any of these flavors. I do remember though, somebody once shipped me a sno-cone mod with my hatch being a flavor dispenser and my nose being a flavored ice dispenser…but that just leads to another flashback which is the disgrace of-

{Scene abruptly screen wipes upwards. We cut to the icecave, where An Ice Machine has a funnel sticking inside his top hatch. Joey is hovering above it, pouring pizza sauce through it. As it pours, pizza-flavored ice somehow spews out frozen from both of An Ice Machine’s noses.}

ICE MACHINE: Hey! It accepts pizza flavored sno-cones too? {close-up of face} SCREWFREEZE THIS MOD!!

{Pan out from An Ice Machine as a flash is seen, and then we pan out even more to see that the picture has turned greyscale, and that the picture is in the top right corner of a newspaper called “The Daily Hadoken”. Cut back to An Ice Machine and the FreezyKey.}

ICE MACHINE: Wait, was that a flashback I saw? And I rejected my sno-cone mod? IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! I WAS NEVER MEANT TO PROJECT FLAVORS!!! But why do I have a list of flavors I can dispense then?

JOEY: It’s possibly just a file I created to please the people who are currently wiretapping in your compy.

ICE MACHINE: Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. {clears list on monitor and brings up email client, then starts typing and speaking} And did you know that I came with a…wait, I made that file! You’re just pointing out crazy clichéfreezes so that…uh…{screen dissolves at this point} NO! I REFUSE TO GO IN ANOTHER FLASHBAAAAaaaaaaa…

{The screen dissolves to An Ice Machine standing in front of springtime Red Button Ice Land. We then cut to some happy chibi ducks flapping their wings around in the grass.}

DUCKS: QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!

ICE MACHINE: ARGH! I JUST HATE SPRINGTIME! DIE!!!

{His top hatch opens and suddenly the whole screen is covered in snow. The next thing you know, the whole area is filled with ice and slush, and An Ice Machine is laughing like a maniac. The ducks are frozen to square. Dissolve back to An Ice Machine and the FreezyKey.}

ICE MACHINE: Argh. I just hate springtime. {starts typing and speaking} Okay, back on topic. I produce over 600 flavors. You have to figure them all out. Me, I’ll leave it up to you to figure out where I’m going. I have a headache on flashbacks…{walks off-screen to the left}

JOEY: As well as freezing puns, that’s for sure.

{Pan to the Tortilla Manganoid 1.}

OtakuChorch20X6: Uh, AIM has a bad headache right now
OtakuChorch20X6: I have to make sure he doesn’t blow up like the last time he faced Stinkoman
OtakuChorch20X6: bbl
StinklymanDotBiz: ok

{A short, dramatic 8-bit clip of music plays as the words “GAME OVER” are displayed. As the music stops, the email anicemachine@redbuttonspies.com appears.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "headache" to see An Ice Machine trying to get rid of a headache.

{Cut to the icecave. An Ice Machine is currently headspinning.}

ICE MACHINE: GO BASIL SAUCE! GO BASIL SAUCE! GO BASIL SAUCE!

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • The opening AIM chat between Joey and Sticklyman may lead to a future plot...
  • This email makes fun of the some emails An Ice Machine has answered with flashbacks.
  • Joey's line about him creating the long list of flavors refers to files and things coincidentally made at the time of an email just to, uh, I don't know what to say.
  • This is the first time I realize that AIM also stands for An Ice Machine. Woah Nelly.

Explanations

  • The whole idea for An Ice Machine being a sno-cone maker came from Mr. Cradgage's idea of An Ice Machine in 1936 - The Sno-Cone Maker.

Real-World References

  • "Metal Gear K" refers to the many Metal Gears created in the Metal Gear series by Hideo Kojima.
  • Basil Sauce is, uh, I don't know what that does.
  • "Harley Harlemson" refers to the 70s and maybe even the Harley Davidson motorcycles.
  • Buzz Lightyear is from Toy Story and the sequel Toy Story 2. Come to think of it, he even has a spin-off under his name!

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