Other Character Email Ice Machine/regarding your name
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Synopsis
The Almighty Fridge In: regarding your name - The secret identity of a lost cause unveiled!
An Ice Machine picks out a name for himself. Ol' Bubba is called a HICK.
Cast (in order of appearance): Ol' Bubba, Unit N3, An Ice Machine, Dr. Auburn, Dr. Donovan, Mysterious Silhouette ("Boss"), Joey the Otaku Chorch, ???
Page Title: YOU MUST WATCH STRONG SAD EMAILS NOW, FOOL
282(192) LINES, DUDETTE! NO EASTER EGGS LINESES INCLUDED, DAWGETTE. SPACES IS INCLUDED?!!
Transcript
Somewhere in the Ice Zone and not Red Button Ice Land, which is somewhere next to the Ice Zone…
{Open up to Ol’ Bubba with a flashlight roaming around the icy grounds of Ice Zone at night. He is nervously and agitatedly shining his flashlight in random directions as he strides along.}
OL’ BUBBA: Fishin’ pol’?
{Ol’ Bubba looks under a rock.}
OL’ BUBBA: Heyoo!
{He then looks inside a small cave with a sign that says “BEWARE OF BARBARIANS”.}
OL’ BUBBA: {looking inside cave} Fishin’ pol’, yoohoo!
{The eel is greeted with a loud roar.}
OL’ BUBBA: YIPES!!! {“runs” off in opposite direction, shaking and trembling at every slither} A-jibblah’-jibblah’-jubbilah’-jubbilah!...
{Then Ol’ Bubba peeks his head through frozen water.}
OL’ BUBBA: Blub blub?
{We cut to the rest of Ol’ Bubba above the water. Just then, he falls through with a big SPLASH. Bubbles rise from the water’s surface.}
OL’ BUBBA: BLOOOOOOOoooooooorrrrrrb!!!
{Clockwise screen wipe transition. Ol’ Bubba is currently walking in the snow.}
OL’ BUBBA: Ah, it’s no use. I’ll never find mah gosh durn’d fishin’ pol’. Not in ah mill’un ye-
{Without warning, he bumps into a Stothos, who moves its turret to face Ol’ Bubba.}
STOTHOS: {robotic monotone, turret flashes as it speaks} Who are you and what do you want?
OL’ BUBBA: First off, mah apol’gees. Secon’ off, have you seens mah fishin’ pol’?
STOTHOS: What are you talking about, underwater anthromorph hick? It appears to me that all fishing poles are the same, {close up of turret} HICK.
OL’ BUBBA: Did you just call mah a hick?
STOTHOS: Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.
OL’ BUBBA: Well yah you did, durned robot.
STOTHOS: Uh…no I didn’t.
OL’ BUBBA: YAH YOU DID!!! {starts flashing electric yellow} ELECTRIC EEL DASH!!!
{Ol’ Bubba leans back, then quickly leans forward and tackles the Stothos into the snow. Ol’ Bubba’s glow fades after he tackles the tankbot.}
OL’ BUBBA: {faces Stothos} You called mah a hick an’ you know it!
STOTHOS: Alright, alright. {manually flips right-side up} So I did call you a hick. But I don’t know what your fishing pole looks like.
OL’ BUBBA: Lesseeee…{puts hand to chin}…a metal pol’ wit’ a yo-yo tied to its.
STOTHOS: Okay, I will run a description check with my microcomputer skills. {turret flashes red for three seconds} Nope, no mat-
{Before he knows it, Ol’ Bubba quickly smacks him with his right flipper.}
OL’ BUBBA: Durned foo’! You weren’t not no help to mah! But at leas’ cans you help’ah goo’ eel an’ join mah on findin’ my fishin’ pole?
STOTHOS: Sorry, I can’t. My programmers tell me to patrol this part of the Ice Zone. If I leave the area, I might self-destruct.
OL’ BUBBA: Well yah might’s well anyways. Bah-bye. {strides off in opposite direction and starts singing} We gonna find may mah fishin’ pol’, gonna fish them fishes good…
{Pan to the Stothos.}
STOTHOS: {turret flashes green} Sir Almighty Fridge-
ICE MACHINE: {over hidden microphone} THE ALMIGHTY FRIDGE, Unit N3! Jeez!
UNIT N3: Sigh. Alright. Sir The Almighty Fridge, I have encountered the eel specimen you informed me about.
{Split screen so that the right side shows An Ice Machine wearing a USB Headset jacked in to the FreezyKey.}
ICE MACHINE: Ol’ Bubba! How do you know?
UNIT N3: Who is Ol’ Bubba? That wasn’t him. It was an eel trying to find his fishing pole. If I follow him, I might just wreck myself.
ICE MACHINE: YOU FOOLFREEZE! I am now transmitting snapshot of Ol’ Bubba while I was blinking…
{Unit N3’s turret flashes orange several times.}
UNIT N3: I see. So you want me to follow him then?
ICE MACHINE: Stay on guard, unit N3. Don’t leave your area until I contact whoever made you, then I will file a lawsuit against them. Understood?
UNIT N3: Affirmative.
{We see An Ice Machine now facing the FreezyKey. He types in “c://program files/Ice Machine Email V1.5” as they both converse. The split screen moves to the right into An Ice Machine’s view.}
ICE MACHINE: Good. An Ice Fridgeamathon, out. {brings up email}
ICE MACHINE: {starts typing and speaking} Good question, not related to Creepy Comb Over Strong Bad. Have I ever considered changi- NO. The fact is, machines don’t cross over too well when it comes to household names, except for you, Stlunko. This is why I refer to myself as “THE ALMIGHTY FRIDGE” because it sounds really better and not ignorant. {clears screen} Anyways, I’ve tried many names before. One of them is “Jerry Dazzleflakes”. {a picture of An Ice Machine with a blonde long-haired wig and a black jacket appears} It sounds like I’m a perpendiculous beat machine with a jammin’ guitar of ICY sorts. Next is “Ye Snowkins”. {An Ice Machine has a cereal bowl brown haircut and wears a peasant’s robe} A peasant wearing ice packets. Uh…moving on! Next is “Homie Icebreaker”.ICEJECT: regarding your nameDear Ice Machine,
P.S. - For real, change your name.
Why don't you have a real name?
Like Renorm, Freezorb, or even
Oradicom.
-Mr. Cradgage
{Flashback to inside an underground laboratory. Two bald scientists with glasses(think about Nyanda Science and HOLD THAT THOUGHT) are inside a dark room with red lights illuminating the place. In the center of the room, a non-colored An Ice Machine is inactively standing, with ropes attached to his face, his stubby legs, hatch, and horns. The ropes are black and are attached to a giant coat hanger which is on the ceiling.}
BALD SCIENTIST #1: {Australian accent} Dr. Donovan, perhaps this prototype of the “Metal Gear K” is kind of resembling a replica of a giant Ice Machine.
BALD SCIENTIST #2(DR. DONOVAN): {English accent} Nonsense! Do you realize it’s a disguise that covers up its appearance of {close-up} MASS DESTRUCTION?!
BALD SCIENTIST #1: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wha-
DR. DONOVAN: {leaning forward at Bald Scienist #1, which scares the crap out of him} MASS DESTRUCTION!, Dr. Auburn!
DR. AUBURN: Alright, alright! Jeez. You don’t have to be so lou-
DR. DONOVAN: {shoves Dr. Auburn off screen} SHUT UP! After we finalize this version of Metal Gear K, we, SINISTECH INC., {gradual close-up} will TAKE OVER THE FRICKING WORLD!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
{Dr. Donovan continues laughing until he starts to cough and sputter.}
DR. DONOVAN: Ah…alright. Now…{faces An Ice Machine}…what shall we call you? Ah, yes. Yulyszesa. Sounds foreign enough to be feared. Now to report this to the boss…
{Counterclockwise screen wipe transition to the boss’ office. The room is dark, and the boss, who is a silhouette for now, is sitting in his black desk. Dr. Donovan is sitting on a gray chair, not affected by the darkness.}
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: WHAT?! {pounds fist on desk} That is a horrible name you picked! It sounds more like a foreign dessert rather than a name of mass destruction!
DR. DONOVAN: But, boss, I-
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: No buts and continues, Mr. Dr. Donovan! You are FIRED! And by that I mean BRUTALLY MURDERED!!!
DR. DONOVAN: …say wha-
{Quickly cut to the east wall of SINISTECH INC. An explosion is heard, then Dr. Donovan crashes through the wall, landing on a pile of spikes. Fortunately, he doesn’t go through the spikes. Unfortunately, 20X6 is part video game logic, therefore the screen turns black, Dr. Donovan’s silhouette is turned white, and it jolts to the bottom of the screen.}
{Cut to the room where “Yulyszesa” is being held. The “boss” comes in, seeing Dr. Auburn spray painting An Ice Machine using a yellow paint spray can.}
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: DR. AUBURN!!! Screw this Metal Gear K! We’re going to build a more menacing terrorist machine!
DR. AUBURN: Boss, I’m currently painting it yellow to make it look like the dripping yellow madness that moved after the 5th grade! Do you like it?
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: I say SCRAPPED!!!
{The “boss” pulls out a remote and aims it at An Ice Machine, who is dripping yellow with paint. He presses a button labeled “Warp”. A green aura covers An Ice Machine, and in a flash, he is gone. In its place is a blueprint. Dr. Auburn surprisingly picks this blueprint up and scans it coherently.}
DR. AUBURN: Wow, boss, this may be better than that one I just painted! This baby is going to revolutionize and terrorize the world!
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: Yes, Dr. Auburn. Now don’t be an idiot and end up like your partner Donovan.
DR. AUBURN: Whatever you say, boss. {cough}Ihateyoumorethanever.{cough}
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: What did you subliminally cough out?
DR. AUBURN: Nothing.
MYSTERIOUS SILHOUETTE: Good. Let us now go…{close-up, which reveals yellow eyes}…and rule this Planet K.
{Dissolve back to the FreezyKey. It appears that An Ice Machine’s eyes are closed and that he is producing snoring sounds. The monitor is clear. After a few seconds, Joey the Otaku Chorch peeks his head out to the left and looks at An Ice Machine. After a few seconds, the camera pans to the left. Joey is once again chatting on AIM using the Manganoid.}
StinklymanDotBiz: So…
OtakuChorch20X6: An Ice Machine unlocked his past
OtakuChorch20X6: That, and he broke the fourth wall
StinklymanDotBiz: Ah
{Just then, we quickly pan to the right, where the USB headset An Ice Machine is wearing crackles to life. An Ice Machine half-opens his eyes.}
UNIT N3: {through other end} Sir The Almighty Fridge!
ICE MACHINE: Whuh…it’s 2 AM in the XMing…what do you want?
{Split screen to show the left side revealing Unit N3 the Stothos. Meteors are raining down on the snow, and many Jaros and Chorches are scrambling here and there, avoiding the impacts.}
UNIT N3: I’ve identified an enemy approaching your deathtrap parlor! It’s…it’s…
{Suddenly a brass crescendo is heard as Unit N3’s side goes to static. Split screen fades to An Ice Machine’s side.}
ICE MACHINE: Unit N3? Are you there? C’mon! Please! Who is…ah, what’s the use? It’s probably just a malfunction.
{Faint crackling is heard through the USB.}
???: APOCALYPSE NOW, IDIOT.
{Crackling stops.}
ICE MACHINE: …great. {starts typing and speaking} No no no no no! Now look what you just did in the snowy fields of the fields I live in! Please, for the sake of your…uh, continental country, DO NOT GIVE ME NAMES. And now I have to get to the bottom of this. {stops typing} Joey! Let’s go hunt somethings!
JOEY: {off-screen} How about you go hunt somethings?
ICE MACHINE: Fine. But don’t let this deathtrap parlor be the end of me. {walks off-screen to the right}
{A short, dramatic 8-bit clip of music plays as the words “GAME OVER” are displayed. As the music stops, the email anicemachine@redbuttonspies.com appears.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "continental country" to see this:
{A 2D scrolling ice field is seen. Then an announcer says "GET READY" in a low voice as said words appear on the screen, then fade. Unit N3 the Stothos comes out from the left of the screen, only to be hit by a very huge black Atomic Missile, which blows him up in a fancy explosion. The words "NICE TRY" appear, then fade.}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- Kudos to Mr. Cradgage for developing the Homie Icebreaker pic. I'll prob'bly add him on the wall of name sooner than you think.
Explanations
- Yeah, I didn't add in the Nyanda Science bit just to promote Super Sam. It's part of the storyline, and the Nyanda Science intro splash page quickly helped me envision the scientists.
- No, the silhouette is someone else.
Inside References
- Dr. Donovan's "death" comes from Stinkoman 20X6 and other worldly video game logic, in which if you touched spikes, you would "die" or "lose a life".
- Ol' Bubba falling in the water comes from the master.
Real-World References
- The easter egg parodies Heavy Weapon, a Popcap brand game.
- "Longardeaux" comes from record book.
- The jibblie dance Ol' Bubba gets originates from bottom 10.
- SINISTECH INC. comes from the 5005 Characters page.
- Ol' Bubba being called a "HICK" refers to Commander in a Dress, a Space Tree animation.
- ALERT - MODERATE LANGUAGE AND SOME STUFF NOT DEEMABLE FOR OTHERS
- "Ameurope" is a cross between North America and Europe. Its imaginability comes from Mega Man Battle Network.
- "Yellow dripping madness" originates from Cool Things.
| The Almighty Fridge's Emails |
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you suck | a boss | AWAY!!! | coolness | the master | flava | regarding your name | what happen? | PUDDING | subliminal message | pun | My Benj | bomb |
