Other Character Email Saargtsson/transportation

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Contents

Overwiew

Saargtsson e-mail 3 – transportation

Summary – Saargtsson discusses the various traps on Planet K.

Cast (in order of appearance) – Saargtsson, Fiery-Hot, Gaspeau

Page Title – Ice? No, still an Fiery 3X6!

Transcript

SAARGTSSON: {singing} My Fiery-Hot, lost in the dark, e-mail, my name forever… {he brings the e-mail onto the screen and reads it, just like always}

Dear Saargtsson,
Do you have a fast mode of trasportation,
I.E. hoverboard, plane... etc.
From
Cul

SAARGTSSON: Oh, come on, you’ve battled me, haven’t you? Who hasn’t battled ME? Well, except for Gaspeau, but we all know already he’s just a slob… You have to have seen me, you know I can float. Look at me! {The camera zooms out and Saargtsson floats around the room as he yells} FLOAT! FLOAT! FLOATING! FLOAT! {He floats back down to his computer and the camera zooms back in} My point is, Cullie, I don’t need any kind of special mode of transportation.

{He clears the screen}

SAARGTSSON: However, there’s plenty of public transportation around Planet K for the more common of the sprite-based Stinko-nemisises. For the lava world, there’s the Lava Boat!

{Cut to a view of a boat floating in an ocean of lava. The camera zooms in and we can see Fiery-Hot sitting next to Gaspeau, reading a newspaper. The two sit in silence for a while}

GASPEAU: So… um…

FIERY-HOT: Don’t talk to me, you slob.

GASPEAU: Sorry.

{Fiery-Hot’s newspaper catches fire, and the camera cuts back to Saargtsson at his computer, with the screen cleared}

SAARGTSSON: As you can see, that kind of rat-trap might be suitable for Fiery-Hot to make the daily commute but you wouldn’t catch me dead, alive or undead near Gaspeau. So, I’ve never been to any of the other worlds, but Fiery-Hot has traveled all the way to the Negative Zone and back, and he says that there’s an entire train that they send crashing into that wall every day!

{Cut to Fiery-Hot reading the exact same newspaper but on a train this time}

UNSEEN CONDUCTOR: {Speaking with a really annoying accent} Nnnyneeeah-ttention pee-assengers, weeee’re yyyeaaabout to reach the wall that will send us into the nyyyyeahgative zone. Pleeeeyeeeeeeahse fyeasten your seat belts.

FIERY-HOT: {under his breath} Finally…

{He sits reading his newspaper for a few more moments}

UNSEEN CONDUCTOR: Nnnnnnnnnyeeeah-ttention agaaaaayeahn peeeassengers, it tyurns out we’re speeding into theeeyah wrong wall, dere… jeee-ust wanted to let ya know…

{Fiery-Hot looks up and his newspaper catches fire. The camera cuts to a zoomed out view of the train crashing into a wall. The camera then cuts back to Saargtsson’s computer}

SAARGTSSON: So, you can see why I wouldn’t want to go on something like that, but it’s usually easy to convince Fiery-Hot to go on a deathtrap like that. He’ll do anything for me… especially after that Christmas Party and those incriminating pictures… heh, heh…

{He laughs for a few moments and then clears the screen quickly}

SAARGTSSON: Um, uh, but you never heard that. So, Cal, the majority of public transportation are rattraps, deathtraps or, uh… greasetraps. Yeah. So a word to all you not-dragon humans out there… follow in the lead of Saargtsson! Floating is the way to go this season! So anyway, I’m off to go drag Fiery-Hot out of the crumbling wreckage. You can just leave your power crunch on my doorstep, thanks. {he gets up and the paper comes down, reading “Click here to e-mail Saargtsson-trap!”}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the words “incriminating pictures” to see a picture of Fiery-Hot kissing a glass of eggnog under some mistletoe.
  • Click on the word “rattrap” to see a picture of a rat in a mousetrap.
  • Click on the word “deathtrap” to see a picture of a rat skeleton in a mousetrap.
  • Click on the word “greasetrap to see a rat made out of grease in a moustrap.

Fun Facts

  • The e-mail song is a take-off of Nightwish’s “Nemo”.
  • Fiery-Hot setting stuff on fire is from the e-mail “lava”.
  • The train having to crash into a wall to get to the Negative Zone is from the opening animation to level 8 in Stinkoman 20X6.
  • I got the idea of incriminating pictures from a Christmas party from an episode of Spongebob.

Links


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