100 Fanfics/Enemies
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
"Of course Strong Bad won't be mad that we broke into his house," said Homestar. "Him and me, we're like this."
He completely failed to make a gesture due to his lack of arms. Pom Pom narrowed his eyes.
"He's my doge," added Homestar, eyeing Pom Pom's marshmallow. "Hey Pom Pom. I need you to look over there. For no reason."
Pom Pom bubbled.
"No, seriously," said Homestar. "There's something very important going on... over there. I think your girlfriend is going out with another guy."
Pom Pom bubbled some more.
"Uh... the blonde one," said Homestar. "With the big nose."
Pom Pom hugged his marshmallow protectively and looked. All he saw was Strong Bad and Strong Mad entering the room.
"Uh oh, it's the Brothers Strong!" said Homestar, following Pom Pom's gaze. "Strong Bad and Strong Mad!"
"Uh, yeah," said Strong Bad. "We kinda... live here. Anyways, you two guys are babies, and we're challenging you to a..." He sighed. "Tag team wrestling match."
"RAH!" affirmed Strong Mad.
Pom Pom bubbled a question.
"Same reason I do anything these days," said Strong Bad. "Some kid wrote me about it."
"What do ya say, Pom Pom?" said Homestar.
Pom Pom bubbled and shook his head.
"Yeah, me neither," said Homestar.
"AWW..." said Strong Mad, disappointed.
"It's not like I even wanted to fight you losers," said Strong Bad, turning to go. "Come on, big guy. Let's go beat up Strong Sad."
"I GOT DIBS ON HIS KNEES!" said Strong Mad, following his brother out. Strong Bad stopped and looked back.
"And by the way, get outta my house!" he shouted.
Pom Pom and Homestar watched them go, not making any move to leave.
"Hey Pom Pom," said Homestar. "Are you gonna eat that marshmallow?"
It was three in the morning, and Strong Bad was sleeping on the couch. Homestar ran in from the left and started running around the couch.
"Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad!" he said quickly.
Strong Bad rolled over.
"Harvest..." he mumbled.
"Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad!"
"Harvest... Harvest Moon..." mumbled Strong Bad. He opened his eyes. Homestar stopped running and stared down at Strong Bad intently.
"Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad! Hey Strong Bad!" he said again.
"Homestar," said Strong Bad irritably. "It's the middle of the night."
"Yeah, I know," said Homestar. "So when is that tag team wrestling match being held?"
"There is no tag team wrestling match, crap-for-butt!" said Strong Bad, shaking his fist. "You said no, remember?"
"Denying it, eh?" said Homestar, squinting. "Huttah!"
He attempted to pull Strong Bad's mask off. Strong Bad yelled and pushed him over.
"What the crap do you think you're doing?" he demanded.
"I'm stealing your mask," said Homestar. "Then you'll have to fight me!"
Strong Bad groaned.
"My mask is my face, stupid," he said. Homestar looked blank. "It doesn't come off!"
"Oooooh," said Homestar, like he understood. "Gimmie the mask."
"No."
"Then I guess I'll just have to..." he lunged at Strong Bad, "Steal your boxing gloves!"
He tugged ineffectually on Strong Bad's left hand.
"And that would be my hand, man," said Strong Bad.
"Now that's just silly," said Homestar, still tugging. "How would you type?"
"Hey Homestar," said Strong Bad, attempting to sound frightened, but mostly just sounding fed up. "What happened to your arms?"
Homestar slowly look from the left to the right, then freaked out.
"My arms!" he wailed, running around the couch and dragging Strong Bad a short distance off the couch before he lost his grip. "Jacqueline! Theodore! Speak to me!"
Strong Bad climbed back onto the couch and watched him for a couple of seconds.
"I gotta do that more often," he mumbled, digging the remote control out from under the couch cushions and turning on the TV.
Homestar fell to his knees.
"Theoline..." he sobbed, then noticed one of Strong Bad's boots on the floor, which had come off while he was being dragged. "What's this?"
He picked it up, then looked at Strong Bad, who was ignoring him.
"Hey Strong Bad," he said again.
"What?!"
"Do you want your shoe back?" said Homestar.
"Yes," said Strong Bad distantly. "Give it here."
"Well, you can't have it," said Homestar. He put on a voice that he seemed to think was threatening. "Not until you fight me."
"Ugh, fine," said Strong Bad. He addressed the air. "Well, little whoever from Iowa, looks like you'll be getting your wish after all."
Homestar arrived at the competition area and looked at the nearby makeshift wrestling ring. Strong Bad and Strong Mad were standing inside it.
"Hey!" he said. "What happened to the stadium that used to be here?"
"I think they tore it down, like six years ago," said Strong Bad. "Let's get this over with."
"Oh, okay," said Homestar. He jumped the ropes and kicked Strong Bad in the face.
"Ow!" said Strong Bad, falling to the ground and clutching his face. "I wasn't ready!"
"Oh," said Homestar. He thought, while Strong Bad stood up slowly. "Okay. Okay. Strong Bad, I am about to kick you in the face. Are you comfortable with this?"
"Uh... No," said Strong Bad, throwing a punch. Homestar dodged. "Hey, stand still!"
He threw a few more punches, but Homestar dodged every one.
"Hey, is that a fly on your nose?" said Strong Bad, pointing.
"Whaaat?" said Homestar. He started hitting himself in the face. "Get it off! Get it off!"
He hit himself so hard he fell over.
"One, two, three, I win," said Strong Bad quickly. "Now... How about my boot back, Homestar?"
"What boot?" said Homestar, sitting up. "Where? I don't see any boot."
"The one you— Oh, never mind!" said Strong Bad. He produced one of his 'Lectric Boots and put it on. "I guess I'll just wear this until I figure out where you hid my shoe."
He clumped off.
"I'm a star!" called Homestar. He hesitated. "Uh... Wasn't Pom Pom supposed to be here?"
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