The Neverending Email

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Welcome! to The Neverending Email! Here's how this works: this is basically supposed to read like a transcript to a Strong Bad Email (like it starts), only it is not allowed to end. Once each user gets tired of editing, the put the character in a position that has creative freedom (e.x. Strong Bad opens a chest, user stops typing). Because of this the following rules apply:

Rules (VERY IMPORTANT)

Once you finish putting on your part of the email, put a horizontal line so that users know to start at that point.
Please don't put any easter eggs into your email
DO NOT either
- End the email
- Put the character in a situation where the next event is obvious.
- Add non-Homestar Runner characters. Fake characters and wiki users are allowed, but only as cameos.

Also, we're having trouble keeping this a descent fanstuff. YOUR SUBMISSION WILL BE DELETED IF:

You do not follow transcription standards or any other wiki standards
Please don't add rules.
Strong Bad ends the email. This is the NEVERENDING email, so if you end it, of course your submission will be deleted.
Your submission does not make sense. Random crap isn't good, but we can live with it. Undecipherable gobbleygook is just bad, and it's gone.

Besides that, just keep this going!

Transcript

STRONG HAD: I'm telling ya, Hoesta, that's good!

STRONG BAD: But still, we need to make Duk speak normal english and get back to emailing.

DUK: Me can. Me don't do sometimes.

STRONG BAD: Oh. Well, time to check the emails.

Subject:None
0 new messages

STRONG BAD: ...That's impossible. I have no more ideas. Looks like the neverending email's end is here.

(All Homestars cry)

(Shows group photo of everyone looking sad)

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute...

You got lucky
1 new message

Strong Bad: Wheew, now the neverending email can continue. Well, what does the email say?

I don't get it...

Dear Da SB,
What's going on? I don't know how Strong Had or Homestar Runner 4 can exist. This Neverending email is crazy!!! Get a new job.
Go away,
PhdP

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Lemme do it!

HOMECHILD BLACKER: I'll do it too!

{they made Duk speak good spanish and then, the explosion appears, everyone was still alive}

STRONG BAD: Woah! How do you do that? Oh well, Duk might speak bad english all over. Anyways, time to check my crappy email!

I'm sorry
0 new message(s)

STRONG BAD: WHAT!? Well, no more emails. This ends here.

{The Brothers Strong, Bubs, Homestyle, Homechild, Hoesta, Homsar, Hoetar and the Homestars starts to cry, then stops}

I think you're lucky!
2 New Message(s)

STRONG BAD: 2 Emails?!? Alright.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Boy, we're safe.

STRONG HAD: Let's see what we got.

Subject:Meet me!

Strong Bad,
I'm at Las Vegas. Meet me there. We're your girlfriends.
Ali & Ali's Sister

STRONG BAD: Let's go to Las Vegas!

HOMESTARS: YAY! Our Sbemail won't end without it.

STRONG HAD: Let's go to Vegas!

{Cut to a scene with Strong Bad, The Homestars, and Strong Had, all trying to get plane tickets to Las Vegas}

Strong Bad: Yes...Maybe, let me see...{to The Homestars and Strong Had} can we leave tomorrow?

Strong Had and The Homestars: Yeah, sure, We're avalible!

Strong Bad: Perfect! Um, ahem, uh, yes, we can get two tickets for the earliest flight you have after noon tomorrow...The Equestium sounds like a nice hotel...Sure, book us...Premium class room, how much...10 BUCKS!!!!! What are you trying to do to me, rip me off! All's I got is $9.99...Ok, fine, I'll try to look for lost change under my couch...Ok, yes, tomorrow, earliest flight after noon, The Equestium, $10...Yes, we'll take it! {hangs up the phone}

Strong Had:{with a bazooka} DOO, DOODOOODOOO, DOODOODOO!!!!!

Homestars: Yeah, what he said!

Strong Bad: Oh yeah, we're off!!!

{cut to a scene where the gang is waiting frustratedly at the airport}

Strong Bad: What a cheap deal! They said the earliest flight after noon, not after mignight!

Strong Had: I'm nocturnal...

Strong Bad: I don't care! I'm not!

{cut to a the Homestars at a melonade stand, waiting for their melonade}

Homestar 1: Cool, melonade!

Homestar 2: And at an airport!

Homestar 3: They should go international!

Homestar 4: Well, I did see a few stands in France a year ago...

Homestars 1-3: {puzzeld}

Homestar 4: Well, let's just say that it might had been the best $50 I ever spent on melonaid.

Homestars 1-3: Ohhhhh...

A few hours later the gang boards their plane and make it successfully to Las Vegas, awaiting the bus that'll bring them to their hotel...

{they get to Vegas}

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Yes! We're there!

HOMECHILD BLACKER: We're there at last!

STRONG BAD: Okay, now let's go to Motel 6 to find Ali and Ali's Sister.

HOMESTAR 3: I know what we're doing.

HOMESTAR 2: Yeah, we'll go.

HOMESTAR 4: Let's go!

STRONG HAD: C'mon!

HOESTA: Okay then.

{they find Ali and Ali's Sister in Motel 6}

Strong Bad: Yes. Wait...before I go on let me say that this has been a very complicated and confusing adventure. Am I right, or am I right?

Strong Had: You're in a hallucination.

Strong Bad: What the...

{cut to a scene where Strong Bad is in the exact same position as before. Strong Had and the Homestars are still there as well, but Ali and Ali's Sister are missing.}

Automated message system
Ok Strong Bad, do your tang!

Strong Bad: WHOA! My computer can talk to me? Well, what thing?

Automated message system
D'email tang!

Strong Bad: Ok, fine...

Subject:HELP ME!!!

Dear Strong Bad,
Help us!!! We've been kidnapped! We're at the Equestium hotel. SAVE US!!!!!
Ali and Ali's sister
P.S. The longer it takes you to save us the more we have to pay for being tied to a wall. So SAVE US!!!

Strong Bad: Wait, we were supposed to end up at the Equestium.

Homestar 4: Gimme them dang power-up of yours! {Homestar somehow gets Strong Bad's powerup of popping lids off of Cold Ones. His skin pops off and he becomes 1-UP}

1-UP: Yeah, I wanna be the guy to!

Strong Bad: WHOA! You had always been 1-UP!

1-UP: I wanny be the guy to! See yaaaaaaa {fall down a well}aaaaaaaaaa...

Strong Bad: Whoa! Man, I wish I could become Stinkoman. {Putting a long pause between "Stinko-" and "-man"} Stinko...man. Stinko. Ugh, nevermind. Well, I guess we better meet him at the Equestium.

{Cut to 1-UP in the sewer system of Las Vegas.}

1-UP: Ya! I'm off!

{cuts to the dessert at 11:00am, sharp with the guys}

HOMESTAR 1-4: What happened?

STRONG HAD: I dunno. Ask Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: We can't find Ali and Ali's Sister. What else?

HOESTA: We can go somewhere.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: We might as well have to go to Europe.

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Is it Faris, Prance?

BUBS: No Homechild. He's talking about, Paris.

{show clips of Paris for 5 seconds and the Accordian plays, cuts to the Vegas Airplane flying to Los Angeles, California}

HOESTA: Okay, now we're going to the plane to France, right?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, we have to get the international tickets. The Cheat and Strong Mad, get the tickets.

THE CHEAT: Meh.

STRONG MAD: Go time, go time, go time! {he goes to get the international tickets with The Cheat}

STRONG BAD: And we'll just wait.

STRONG HAD: Oh, wait.

{Strong Mad and The Cheat returns quickly with The International tickets}

STRONG BAD: Thank you, {whispering} you crap for crap. {stops whispering}

HOMECHILD BLACKER & HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: And here we go to Fairs, Prance, We mean, Paris, France.

{Strong Bad, the Homestars, 1-Up, A Fan, Duk, Bubs, Homicidal Runner, Hoetar, Homsar, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Homechild Blacker, Homestyle Runner Kid, Hoesta, Strong Had and The Homestar Runner get in the Air France plane}

STRONG BAD: Now, we'll have to take a seat.

HOESTA: Are we in first class?

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Yes.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: So we might as well have good relaxing.

HOMESTAR 1-4: And good Melonade.

STRONG BAD: Yeah.

{the Air France plane landed to Paris as the Homestar characters gets out}

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: What is it again?

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Yeah, what is it?

STRONG BAD: We're going to find Ali and Ali's Sister. Maybe Lappy has the answers.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER & 1-UP: But We both want pudding.

Subject:We're at the Tower

Strong Bad,
We're your girlfriends. Meet Us at the Eiffel Tower.
Ali & Ali's Sister

STRONG BAD: Let's go.

HOESTA: Where are we going?

STRONG HAD: EIFFEL TOWER, MAN!

HOMICIDAL RUNNER: What?

BUBS: Eiffel Tower.

HOMESTAR 1-4: Oh, okay. But, we'll split.

{Strong Bad, Strong Had, Duk, Hoetar and Hoesta goes to the Eiffel Tower, while Homestars 1-4, Bubs, A Fan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Homsar, Homechild Blacker, Homestyle Runner Kid, 1-Up, The Homestar Runner and Homicidal Runner go to the shortcut of the Eiffel Tower to the painings building}

BUBS: Okay, every peoples. According to the Paris, France Map which cost 2 dollars in Euro-money, says that this is the painting building where we see paintings of Da Vinci and more.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Is that all?

HOMECHILD BLACKER: We just wanna go home and end the email, because tomorrow is Saturday and Homestyle and I wanted to watch Saturday Morning Caleb Rentplayer Cartoons.

STRONG MAD: NEVER END! NEVER END!

THE CHEAT: Meh?

HOMESTAR 2: Uh-oh. Look.

BUBS: {looks} What?

HOMESTAR 3: It's...

HOMICIDAL RUNNER & A FAN: Maggot Man?

HOMESTAR 4: NO! It's the Anonymous Contributor!

1-UP & THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: We knew it. He's fat.

{goes to the paintings everywhere in the cartoon chasing sequence}

NARRATOR: {imitating Alferd Hitchock} The Neverending Email will continue, but for now, a word with these two kids, Homechild Blacker and Homestyle Runner Kid.

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Today, we'll talk about the Endless Summer like in SpongeBob educational short film.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: You must put sunblock into ya and you dance in the egg and-- {the record scrathes} Hey! Have we just watch too much SpongeBob SquarePants and Ren & Stimpy at the same time?

HOMECHILD BLACKER: I think we did.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Okay, but still, keep putting sunblock before you go outside kids.

NARRATOR: {Alferd Hitchock imitator continues} And now, back to the movie, The Neverending Email.

{cut to Homestars 1-4, Bubs, A Fan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Homsar, Homechild Blacker, Homestyle Runner Kid, 1-Up, The Homestar Runner and Homicidal Runner running to be chased with Anonymous Contributor to the paint starting with the Da Vinci Mona Lisa picture}

HOMESTAR 2 & 4: Ugh, Mona Lisa is fweakin' good.

{cut to them running the the melted clock, and everybody gets melted and acts slow, then to the screaming guy picture, when they stop melting and they're still alive. As Anonymous Contributor screams, then, they went out}

1-UP: {whew} That was close.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Very close.

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Say, where's Anonymous?

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: I dunno.

BUBS: Let's just go to the Eiffel Tower to get Strong Bad and his friends.

HOMESTAR 1-4: Alright!

{cut to the Eiffel Tower}

BUBS: Yeah!! We Got To The Eiffel Tower! Now Let's Go Rescue Ali & Ali's Sister!

STRONG HAD: This Is A Rescue Mission?!

STRONG BAD: Look! A New Message.

{cut to the lappy}

Subject: Be Quick

Strong Bad, We Are Beginning To Think That You Are Bad Though We Might Change Our Minds If You'd HURRY UP! Be Faster Than The Cheat,
Ali & Ali's Sister

STRONG BAD: What just happened?

STRONG HAD: I dunno. Where are we in the Eiffel Tower? But, oh no! The Caps Lock is creating out of character things!

CAPS LOCK: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I WILL DESTROY THE HOMESTAR UNIVERSE!!!

STRONG BAD: Oh...crap.

THE 386: {in a game show set} Welcome back, to "My future's looking Bright!". We don't want our panel to hear our guest's future. We'll start later on!

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Yeah, yeah. Enough.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: The Homestars, give us the rope.

HOMESTAR 1-4: Okay. {throws the rope to Homechild and Homestyle}

STRONG BAD: You're almost there. Hurry up. The Caps Lock and Anonymous Contributor.

STRONG HAD: Yeah, man. Hurry. {looks at the watch, gasps} OH CRAP! It's almost 3 in the morning.

STRONG BAD: How do you know time?

STRONG HAD: Easy.

HOESTA: Easy? Well, we'll grab your hand.

{The 4 Homestars and the guys hold Strong Had's hand}

THE CHEAT: Meh, meh!

STRONG BAD: Oh gosh.

STRONG HAD: Ok, almost up....

{a white flash for a split second and The Cheat and 2 of the Homestars are gone.}

STRONG BAD: Holy crap!

STRONG HAD: You still say that?

STRONG BAD: Only in weird situations.

{cut to a large, dark room. The Cheat and the 2 Homestars appear there.}

HOMESTAR 2: Where are we?

THE CHEAT: {squeaks "I don't know"}

CAPS LOCK: WELCOME TO MY SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR.

HOMESTAR 3: Oh, thanks.

CAPS LOCK: UHH...NO PROBLEM? ..MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

STRONG HAD: {sarcastic} Ha ha ha ha. {normal voice} This Lair is not bad.

HOESTA: But check it out. {looks at the big screen HDTV from DLP} Look at the High-Def Home Entertainment System.

STRONG HAD: WOW!

HOMECHILD BLACKER: And it has video games.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Featuring our favorite games.

STRONG HAD & STRONG BAD: That's good. Did you Anonymous and Caps Lock made this lair?

CAPS LOCK: Yeah.

ANONYMOUS CONRIBUTOR: Yes. Why?

DUK: Me gots ice moneys.

HOMSAR: AaAaA! Get me out, Jim Carrey.

HOMESTAR 1-4: Hey, Caps Lock's name isn't Jim Carrey.

THE CHEAT: Meh.

STRONG HAD: {sitting down, drinking soda} I'm telling you guys, this is the good life.

HOMESTAR 3: Yeah. Hey, how 'bout we watch TV, Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD: Okay. {turns on the TV to the Ren and Stimpy cartoon}

{cut to the TV where it took place at the kitchen with Ren & Stimpy, eating the soup, then the Four Seasons Spring song plays in this scene}

REN: {slurping the soup with a spoon} Mmm, Mmm. This is the best soup ever, Stimpy.

STIMPY: Hey, that's not soup, that's Acid with sharks that're alive.

REN: WHAT?!? {looks to the soup as the sharks bite Ren's eyes} You idiot! You're killing me, man. {Ren's eyeballs explode as the acid pours on Ren, then Ren is burned as Stimpy looks at Ren}

{cut back to the lair, Strong Bad, All Homestars, Hoesta, Homechild Blacker, Homestyle Runner Kid, and others were laughing, and the music stops}

CAPS LOCK: ...so were'd you send them?

ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR: To the Max and Relax Room.

CAPS LOCK: YOU FOOL! You was supposed to TORTURE them!

ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR: Should I move them?

CAPS LOCK: Nah, it's too late now. Just get them a Foofy Loo-Loo Drink and get outta my face.

ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR: All right...

CAPS LOCK: Okay, mine's cool. I change my mind.

{they're wathcing a SpongeBob episode where Plankton is in the Krusty Krab}

STRONG BAD: We just love watching Saturday Monring Caleb Rentplayer Cartoons.

HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Yeah. But, this is the life.

HOMECHILD BLACKER: Indeed.

STRONG HAD: I just love this Lair.

BUBS: Can we have a cool drink?

HOESTA: Yeah, in order to have it, we might have a hunger. Bring us a pizza.

STRONG HAD, STRONG BAD & HOMESTAR 2 & 4: Pizzas, eh?

DUK: Me not pizza hungry.

CAPS LOCK & ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR: Okay. {they exit}

STRONG BAD: So, what do we do? {pause}

STRONG HAD: Oh, crap, I know.

STRONG BAD: What the heck is it, crapfully Strong Had.

STRONG HAD: We can put your Lappy in the TV. Go to the input of PC, now.

STRONG BAD: How do I do it?

HOMECHILD BLACKER & HOMESTYLE RUNNER KID: Plug it in!

STRONG BAD: {plugs in the Lappy on TV} There. Let's see.

Subject: Try Hollywood

Strong Bad, Try look for me at Hollywood
-Ali & Ali's Sister

HOMESTAR 2, 3 & 4: Hollywood?

STRONG HAD & STRONG BAD: Yeah, Hollywood.

ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR & CAPS LOCK: {enters with Pizzas and Drinks} Here you go. And... ooh, Hollywood. Can we both go too?

1-UP: Sure.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay.

ALL: No problem.

{Cut to Hollywood.}

ALI: Strong Bad is such a fool!

ALI'S SISTER: Yes, me agriee.

ALI: And his friends are fools, heh heh.

ALI'S SISTER: Yeah.

{cut back to the lair}

STRONG BAD: Okay, this time, we'll look for them.

HOMEGROUNDED WINNER CHILD: {enters} Hi! What's cooking, Strong Bad and the guys? It's Homechild & Homestyle's friend, Homegrounded. I found out that I was traveling. I was stuck at the airplane.

STRONG BAD: Oh. We're looking for Ali and Ali's Sister. Oh, and Caps Lock and Anonymous Contributor are getting us the drinks and pizza.

HOMEGROUNDED WINNER CHILD: WHAT?!? I can't wait! That's great!

HOMESTAR 2, 3 & 4: Yep.

CAPS LOCKS & ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR: {comes back in with the drinks and Pizzas} Here're the drinks and the pizzas.

HOESTA, HOMESTAR 1-4, STRONG BAD & STRONG HAD: Alright!

STRONG BAD: Let's eat!

CAPS LOCK: Uh-oh, it's late.

STRONG HAD: We must go to bed.

ALL: Right.

COACH Z: {enters} Hey, corn I gore?

STRONG BAD: Sure. {whispers} You crap for crap. {stops whispering}

{cut to the bed with everybody, with the camera pointing to Homestyle, Homechild and Homegrounded musical snoring, and Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Had and the 4 Homestar are bored and angry}

STRONG BAD: OH CRAP, when will this snore stop?!?

STRONG HAD: Oops. Why is there a snore?

STRONG BAD: Be quiet, we're asleep!

APOC: {evil} BYE BYE NON-HOMESTARIANS!

{Apoc throws a bomb to the ground and all non-Homestar Runner characters are removed from the story. OOC: No, Strong Had, Caps, Contributor, Homestyle, Homechild and Homeground didn't survive.}

APOC: What happened to A Fan anyway?

{Cut to a computer.}

A FAN: Strong Bad will pay for trying to hunt me...

{cut to the explosion site}

STRONG BAD: {groans} Wow. That Apoc.

HOMESTAR: Yeah. I think he deserves a real fruit smoothie.

STRONG BAD: Ok, now where were we?

THE CHEAT: {cheatese}

STRONG BAD: Oh, right. A Fan still needs to die. So where should we go next?

Where should Strong Bad go?

DECIDE, WIKI USERS!

a>

STRONG BAD: I know, let's go to Hollywood! Oh, an email!

{Cut to the lappy}

Dear Srong Bad

We Are back in the eiffel tower, Held Captive By A Fan.
Please Help Us, We will Not Move This Time!
Signed,
Ali & Ali's Sister!

STRONG BAD: What?! Back to the Eiffel Tower?! We came all this way for nothing?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Alright! Let's go!

STRONG BAD: That is stupid! Next thing we know, we're gonna die!

HOMESTAR: This reminds me of something stupid. Egh-

STRONG BAD: Enough, let's go.

HOMSAR: {enters} AaAaA, can I come on your triiip?

STRONG BAD: Okay, but I don't think I can offord an airplane ticket for you. This might help {opens "old_emails.exe"}

Other email:

Dear Strong Bad,
To help you on your trip, here
is an internet cheak to help pay
for your trip. Click here
Ali's sister and Ali

Yuo got a cheak of:
$402452852.99!!!!!
That's almost $402452853.00!

STRONG BAD: Okay, we can afford you. But, because the only time to get tickets ended like, 30 seconds ago, we'll have to wait until 2017.

HOMESTAR: Hey, we live near the Atlantic. Lets swim!

STRONG BAD: No, lets boat.

HOMSAR:NoOoOoO! Let's all ride the shark to dreeeeem laaaaaaaaaaand...

{Everyone stares at Homsar, even those who aren't in the conversation.}

STRONG BAD: What the crap did you just say?

HOMSAR: It's time for fading Coach Zeeeeeeee.

COACH Z: Why is everybody tring to fade me?

{Now, everyone looks at Coach Z.}

STRONG BAD: Coach Z, what are you doing here?

HOMESTAR: You said "doing" {as in "boing"}

COACH Z: I just thought that-uh...I'd come with you guys for suppert 'n all!

STRONG BAD: Ok, fine. But we're gonna have to kick someone out to give you the ticket.

{Strong Bad turns around and kicks Homsar into the sky}

HOMESTAR: Can we go already?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Now we can go.

{cut to the runway. The plane holding the entire cast flies to the Eiffel Tower.}

HOMESTAR:We're out!

STRONG BAD: the heck are you doing?

HOMESTAR: getting out. Why?

STRONG BAD: Okay. Come on,everybody.

STRONG BAD: Didn't I say we can't get tickets untill 2017?

{When they land, the Pairs cops are after them, as they paid with candybar wrappers.}

HOMESTAR: {mumbles} Stupid Alli and Alli's sister. {yells} Why did everyone get adicted to making us find them!!! It's as bad as how everyone makes my great great grand son's teeth rot by making them adicted to pudding!!!!!!

{A police helecopter flies over head}

AIR UNIT: I have located suspects; they are near the Eiffel Tower, so I need backup.

STRONG BAD: Oh, CRAP!

ARROWED GUY: THISDOESNTMAKEANYSENSE'D

{Cut to Strong Bad's Email Room}

STRONG BAD: Email-check E-email-check! I said Email-Check E-email-check!

Superhero

Dear Strong Bad,
What would you look like if
you were a superhero?
Crap
Matt S.I.N.Y.

{Strong Bad reads "Crap" as "i wish people wouldn't sign their emails like this" and "Matt S.I.N.Y" as "Matsanny" }

Re:Superhero

Well Manatee, if i were a superhero, then i'd probably have to have
1. a cape
2. spandex
3. superpowers
4. a supervillan to fight

{Strong Bad is interrupted by the cheat}

THE CHEAT: {Cheatspeak}

STRONG BAD: WHAT?! LITTLE TIMMY IS STUCK IN A WELL?! this looks like a job for... SUPERSTRONGBAD!

{Super Strong Bad Flies out the window and smashes into a streetlight. A car flies by and smashes the background. Another smashes the house. In the real background, Strong Bad, Homestar, and Coach Z are being shot at by the helecopter}

STRONG BAD: Shutup, you fan! It anoies me when you impersenate me, but that was crazy. And, it would be beter if you did that not right next to me.

{Eventually, they've been shot at so much, they're on the ground. The helecopter stops shooting, and an ambulance comes}

PERAMEDIC: We'll heal you, then ride you to court!

{The ambulances breakes are broken, so it crushes Strong Bad, Homestar, and Coach Z.}

PERAMEDIC:Opps. Am I fired yet?

PERAMEDIC 2: No. This is a cartoon world. There not dead. Because of their popularity, they can't die.

PERAMEDIC 1:... YOU TALK FUNNY!

PERAMEDIC 2:mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm kay.

HOMSAR:AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaHhHh!!!!!

{Homsar falls through the sky and lands on the Paramedics}

STRONG BAD:What the crap are you doing here?

HOMSAR:You kick my butt too hard. I fly!

BOTH PARAMEDICS:{into walky talky}We need back-up.

{cuts to Strong Bad's email room}

DASONICMAN:PIZZA'S HERE! I guess I'll eat it myself.

{Homsar breaks through the roof and lands on his head}

HOMSAR:PUDDING PIZZA!!!

DASONICMAN:No, it's actually pepperoni. But I'll put pudding on it.

HOMSAR:I die.

{The fake Homsar dies. So do all the other fakes. It gose back to the real stuff.}

STRONG BAD: *sigh*

{They all head straight for Ali and Ali's sister's address. The cops and peramedics stop chasing them when they stop to look at a penny that was on the ground. When they get there, they see a note.}

Homestar:What's that mess? It's a note... and it has blood on it...

Coach Z: {reading} I got them, tortured them, and flew them to Japan. If you really want Ali and her sister, come meet me their before I kill them.

All else:YOU WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

Coach Z:Hey, I was only reading this book! It starts with the best part!

Strong Bad: Lemme see! {snatches paper, and continues where Coach Z finneshed} I am in Tokyo, and I will be waiting for you at a traffic light... ONE OF THE MILLION-BILLION-GILLION-ZILLION IN THIS CITY!!!!! BLA-HA-HA-HA! GLAH-HA-HA-HA!! SGROOGLE-COUGH, caghf, phew. Wait, am I writing this? Opps... Well... Where was I? Oh, yeah. I shall kill them at... now. Heh, I'm just jokeing. How 'bout... 8:46 tomorow, local time! Yeah. So... Bye. Oh, here's their blood.

# =Ali | Ali's sister= #

{Finishes reading} Well, we got a crazy killer who didn't see the eraser on this table, 1 cm away from this paper. Come on, we got a murder case to solve. Or, stop it. Whatever. Let's go.

{The group flies to Tokyo and is immediatley hit by a nuke fired by pom pom who is mysteriously dressed in a trenchcoat/hat combo}

POM POM: {bubby noises} (Sorry, i thought you had Strong Sad with you)

STRONG BAD Oh, i understand. {dies and ressurects as a zombie}

{All homestar characters become zombies and start to eat marshie the marshmallow, who happened to be strolling down the avenue}

{After they al eat Marshie, they regain... Normal... NOT ZOMBIES ANY MORE!!!}

Strong Bad: Hey, look what I found! {picks up divice} This thing can track Ali and her sister by putting in their blood! {puts in paper with blood} Ok, it says their... Right here?

{everyone turns around to see Marzipan}

Marzipan: Yes, all this time, I was Ali, and her sister.

Everybody Everybody: WHAT!?!

Marzipan: I did that to get you to travel some more.

Homsar(who had been their the whole time): AaAaA, 'Twas the pride of the peaches.

{Strong Bad can't believe what Marzipan had done, and wasn't shure what Homsar ment,}

MARZIPAN: Yes, and the internet cheque was actually from your account! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now you're broke and you have to pay the bank back bit by bit for all the money you didn't have(which is quite a lot) so that you're always broke!

HOMESTAR: Wow, you're evil, Marzipan?

MARZIPAN: No, not really. I just wanted the Lappy.

STRONG BAD: WHAT?!

MARZIPAN: Want proof? {claps} Minion!

{An Ungurait runs over and gives Marzipan the Lappy.}

UNGURAIT: Me steal. Me like steal.

MARZIPAN: Excellent. Now, go into the future and steal me that power capsule!

{Ungurait runs offscreen.}

UNGURAIT: {offscreen} Stealing, stealing, stealing...

MARZIPAN: Later fools!

{Marzipan disappears into thin air, laughing as she disappears. The group is somehow teleported/transported back to Strong Bad's house.}

STRONG BAD: {At computer desk} LAPPY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

HOMESTAR: Wait, what just happened? How did she do that?

{Doorbell rings.}

HOMSAR: It's a one-shoe deal!!!!!!

HOMESTAR: I think it's my new mail-order marshmellows!

STRONG BAD: Would some just answer the freakin' door???

To be continued...

...Right Now!

{Homsar opens the door. A Mailman hands him a package. Homestar opens it. There is a pack of marshmallows and a shoe in the package}

HOMESTAR: Hey, I was right!

HOMSAR: DAaAaAaAAAAA!!!!! Twas' the right and the leeeeft!

STRONG BAD: Wait, Homestar and Homsar are right?!!!! Homestar seems possible, But HOMSAR?!!!! What is going on?!!!

{A shadow overcasts Strong Bad}

SHADOW: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!

STRONG BAD: *gasps* YOU!

SHADOW: Yes, Strong Bad, it is I!

{A light shines on the shadow, revealing it to be...}

STRONG BAD: Gasp! The Cheat! How could...

{Strong Bad's eyes flit at The Cheat and the just revealed The Cheat.}

THE OTHER THE CHEAT: Yes, Strong Bad. I am The Cheat, but not the one you know.

THE CHEAT: Meh?

TOTC: I come from an alternate universe, where I'm not known as The Cheat, but The Trickster, for I can manipulate reality itself. As the universe started to collapse as a result of paradoxes and the grandfather theory, I teleported myself, just in time, to your reality.

STRONG BAD: What's so special about our reality?

THE TRICKSTER: They sell free bagels.

{The Trickster closes and opens the door and another mailman gives him a package. After closing the door, The Trickster opens it and there's a packet of bagels inside it.}

THE TRICKSTER: Mmmm...free bagels...

STRONG BAD: So does that mean that you can return the universe back to normal?

THE TRICKSTER: What? Okay, sure.

{The Trickster, all the extra Strong Bads and Homestars disappear and the Lappy re-appears on the desk.}

STRONG BAD: Augh. {smacks mouth} My mouth tastes like...emails.

{reading}

subject: woodchuck

Hey Strong Bad!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
From an anonymous contributor

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, Mr Contributor, a woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood. Right, next email! {clears screen}

{reading}

subject: woodchuck

But if a woodchuck could chuck and would
chuck some amount of wood, what amount
of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
From an anonymous contributor

STRONG BAD: {typing} Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood? Right, next email! {clears screen}

{reading}

subject: woodchuck

A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck
would chuck wood.
From an anonymous contributor

STRONG BAD: Oh, shut up! Let's delete these! DELETED!

DELETED!

STRONG BAD: There, that felt better. Now to the next email! {clears screen}

subject: congrats

Congratulations, Strong Bad!
You have won the Most Popular Email Show
of the Month award! Send this email back
and we'll send you your trophy!
Kindest Regards,
Bubs Concession Stand

STRONG BAD: Oh, wow! I've finally won one of those stupid awards! Let's forward this back!

FORWARDED!

{Confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling as this happens.}

STRONG BAD: Woohoo!

{Doorbell rings.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, the doorbell! Could that be for me?

{Strong Bad walks over and opens the door and a mailman gives him a package. After closing the door, he opens the package and there's a golden trophy inside it.}

STRONG BAD: Woohoo! This is the best day of my life!

{the trophy turns into a pile of whatsit and Strong Bad inverts}

STRONG BAD: WHOA! What the? H-hey, I thought you aid you'd change everything back to normal!!!

THE TRICKSTER: I did, but I didn't say I wouldn't bend reality! W-WHAAAA!!!!

{{The Trickster dissapears. Homeschool Winner is in a Ghostbusters suit talking into a communicator}

HOMESCHOOL: Mission Accomplished.

{Homeschool puts away the communicator}

HOMESCHOOL: Uh oh. Come on, think of an excuse...Well...I RULE!

{Homeschool runs off.)

STRONG BAD: Hey, that was my line! Give it back! Oh, wait. You can't give words back. Ahem.

{Homestar pops up as in the way that he does in In Search of the Yello Dello.}

HOMESTAR: I think I has the solution! The Yello Dello!

STRONG BAD: Uh, no Homestar. I don't think the Yello--

{Fade to black.}

VOICEOVER: Meanwhile...

{Cut to a mountain where the Yello Dello is atop, next to The Trickster just below.}

THE TRICKSTER: No no no no no no no no...

{The Yello Dello starts pecking The Trickster furiously on the head and then The Trickster poofs away. Cut back to the computer room where Homestar, Strong Bad and the trophy are back to normal.}

HOMESTAR AND STRONG BAD: YAY!

STRONG BAD: Alright! I guess you were wrong, Homestar!

HOMESTAR: Hey, I said the right--

STRONG BAD: Don't try to lie, Homestar. Now, out you go!

{Cut to the outside of the house where Homestar flies out the door.}

HOMESTAR: Thanks for having me over..........

{Cut back to the computer room.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, with that done, it's time to put this trophy in my room!

{Cut to black.}

VOICEOVER: Later.

{Cut back to the computer room where Strong Bad is now sitting at the desk.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, now where was I? Ah yes, email time.

subject: average day

Hey Strong Bad
What do you do in your average
day? Could you show us?
From,
Some Annoying Guy
Somewhere in the world

STRONG BAD: I'd show you...but I can't be bothered. So how about an extra long email? {typing} Well, in my average day, first, I get up

HALF AN HOUR LATER...

STRONG BAD: {is still typing} some corn dogs smothered with chocolate sauce at the local Bubs' Concession Stand!

FOUR HOURS LATER...

STRONG BAD: {is still typing, but is lagging now} beat up Strong Sad with a flourishing uppercut from my boxing glove

EIGHT HOURS LATER...

STRONG BAD: {is still typing, but is now doing only one word at a time} and then I fall to sleep. Well, I hope you put me on your spam {stops typing and falls to sleep}

{Homestar runs in.}

HOMESTAR: Wow, now let's watch Strong Bad sleep!

{All of the other H*R characters crowd around him, watching him.}

MARZIPAN: Ew, he drools in his sleep. Remind me never to become his girlfriend.

STRONG SAD: Hey, I have an idea! How about we pull off his boxing gloves and mask and see what we find!

ALL: YEAH!

{Cut to Homestar's bedroom where he's checking email on Pom Pom's Pom Pilot.}

HOMESTAR: And that's why Marzipan's never gone out with Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} That's not true, man!

HOMESTAR: Oh, and that's also why Strong Bad keeps saying that his mask and boxing gloves are his face and hands. He's trying to keep it all secret!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} That's not true, either!

HOMESTAR: In fact, what is under his mask and boxing gloves are... {pulls out photo}

{It turns to static before we can see what the photo is. Pan out to see Strong Sad in the basement watching a video. Strong Bad pops up from behind the couch holding the remote.}

STRONG SAD: Hey, I was watching that!

STRONG BAD: Well, too bad for you! The viewers are never gonna figure out what's under my boxing gloves and mask!

STRONG SAD: Fine, I'll tell them! Okay, what's under his boxing gloves and mask are--

{Strong Bad jumps onto Strong Sad, covering his mouth.}

STRONG BAD: Don't say it man! Cut away, Camera Guy!

{Cut to Strong Bad at his laptop.}

STRONG BAD: Phew, thought I'd never get away from that position. Thanks, Camera Guy.

CAMERA GUY: {offscreen} No problem.

STRONG BAD: Alright, let's check the next email! {clears screen}

{screen flashes: "You have 0 new messages."}

STRONG BAD: Aw, cuh-rap! Why are you doing this to me, Lappy?

{the Bad Graphics Ghost appears, Strong Bad looks amused}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, nice. And I didn't even press any buttons!

{The Bad Graphics Ghost falls apart block by block to reveal the message "Guess you got lucky. You have 2 new messages.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, great. Next email, then. {clears screen}

subject: long email?

Greetings Strong Bad,
Why are are you doing such a long email? Shouldn't you be bored to heck with it by now? And why am I writing this? Er...
Crapfully, with lots of crap, crappity crap, you know the rest,
Mr. Baker
Tipsy-Topsy Land

{skips the crap bit}

STRONG BAD: Tipsy-Topsy Land? What the heck? {starts typing} Well, Mr. Baker, don't start getting the idea that you should know everything that's happening around here. BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T! DELETED!

DELETED!

STRONG BAD: {stops typing} Ah, good. That one definitely got into my "Bad Email Sensor" system. Now, next email! {clears screen}

subject: haha!

You lose Strong Bad! I have the photo, and I emailed it to EVERYONE! EVEN THE PRESIDENT! As proof, I've sent you an attachment!
Forever stalking you,
w0w@wheelkillas.org

Attachment: strongbadsfaceandhands.jpg

{Strong Bad opens the attachment}

STRONG BAD: AHH! IT'S NOT A JOKE!!

{the screen shows...}

{Homestar jogs across The Field.}

HOMESTAR: Man, oh MAN! Nothing like taking a big ol' run in the morning!

{Suddenly, Homestar hits the side of Bubs' Concession Stand. He falls over, unconscious.}

BUBS: Now what was that? Homestar?

{Bubs looks at Homestar, who now has a large bump on his forehead.}

BUBS: Homestar, you oka-

{Homestar suddenly gets up.}

HOMESTAR: Never fear, citizen of city! I can solve the case twice times!

{Homestar runs off.}

BUBS: Habbila-wha?

{cut to the real world. A fat nerd is there}

NERD: Freaking popups. {closes popup}

{cut back to Strong Bad's computer. Strong Bad opens the image again. The computer screen shows...}

{all of a sudden, New Paper comes down}

STRONG BAD: Not now, New Papes. Can't you see I need to hack into the email address w0w@wheelkillas.org?

{The New Paper goes back up.}

{Strong Bad opens the image again. The computer screen shows...}

STRONG BAD: Hey, that's not my face and hands, that's Strong Mad's face and hands!

STRONG MAD: {offscreen} NO! NOW MY SECRETS ARE REVEALED!

STRONG BAD: Well, that was strange. Oh well. Now for the next email. {clears screen}

subject:So cool a falsh. I thought you would enjoy it!
HAHA! Youur computer is infected with the Bowservirus!

{the Lappy transforms into a giant robot Bowser}

STRONG BAD: AAHHH!!! I HAVE TO GET SOMEONE TO HELP! I KNOW! {calls...}

{The 386 appears onscreen}

THE 386: Have at you!

{the Lappy transforms back into its original form}

THE 386: Your virus removal software, "Dr. Edgar", returned it to normal. Cancel the freakin' call.

{a poof is heard, cut to the "Sgt. Frog" universe, The 386 appears}

THE 386: {speaking recent said sentence backwards, babbles as he shakes his head} What? Did my mouth just taste like... BACKWARDS?

{someone speaks Japanese offscreen}

THE 386: {mumbles incoherently}

{cut back to the Homestar Runner universe, Strong Bad opens his next email}

{screen flashes: "You have no new messages.}

STRONG BAD: Noice work, Lappy.

THE 386: {echoing voice} Help! I don't have much time!

STRONG BAD: I'll save you, guy who looks like me! The Cheat, open the portal!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat presses a button on the blender, Strong Bad hops in, cut to the same universe from before}

The Neverending Email

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

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