The Neverending Email/Archive 5

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This page contains all Neverending email entries from 14 October 2005 through 23 October 2005

DO NOT PUT NEW ENTRIES ON THIS PAGE! Post it on the main Neverending Email page instead.

Transcript

DR. JONES: It seems you had a rare disease, but you are all cured now. You can go home now.

STRONG BAD: Just one thing, do you know who the crap A fan is?

DR. JONES: Why, he's the receptionist!

{Cut to the hospital hallway where The Cheat is has blue spots}

STRONG BAD: You don't look so good The Cheat. Follow me, I have an idea.

{Cut to the waiting room}

STRONG BAD: Hey, A fan, don't ever ask me how I type with boxing gloves on again!

A FAN: Too bad.

STRONG BAD: Alright The Cheat, cough and sneeze on him.

{The Cheat coughs and sneezes on A fan}

A FAN: You seriously think sneezing and- Is that the smell of rotten mushrooms? I'm allergic to mush-

{A fan falls and dies}

STRONG BAD: See The Cheat. Those rotten mushrooms would come in handy one day!

{ratsemoH comes in}

RATSEMOH: I just watched this email. I think it reall sucked. So I'm going to fire this laser at you which will send you home and erase your memory of all the really unrealistic things and custom characters that you saw today. Such as Hoesta, me, and others. Hope this email won't suck when I correct reality!

{ratsemoH fires the laser and Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Homestar are teleported to The Stick}

STRONG BAD: I'm going to figure out where the crap The Paper comes from. This email needs a plot.

{Cut to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: So that's why I hate Dump Sad.

{The Paper comes down}

STRONG BAD: Not so fast!

{Strong Bad rips off The Paper}

STRONG BAD: Oh crap! This is the end of Strong Bad Email? Hey, there's a note on the back! It says:

"I have The Cheat, Strong Mad, The Lappy, your Trogdor arcade game, the couch, and the television. If you want your stuff back, meet me behind Bubs' Concession Stand at 3:06 AM. -Sincerely, Why would I tell you who I am?

P.S. I destroyed Strong Sad's room, so he will be living in your room from now on. Ha!"

STRONG BAD: What?! I have to share a room with Dumpface II? Crap!

STRONG BAD: I can't stand the fact I lost pretty much all my stuff! I guess I'll have to wait it out.

3:06 AM...

{Cut to behind Bubs' Consession Stand}

STRONG BAD: Where is this guy?

{Homestar walks in}

STRONG BAD: HOMESTAR?!!? What the crap are you doing here?

HOMESTAR: Fool! I sent you the message! I am not Homestar Runner! I am called Neguhsaw! I took over this idiot's body while he was sleeping!

STRONG BAD: Neguhsaw is a really stupid name. I also remember something about no custom characters.

{Strong Bad reaches into Homestar's mouth and pulls out a giant blackhole}

STRONG BAD: Neguhsaw is a giant blackhole? Crap.

{Strong Bad and Homestar are sucked into Neguhsaw and are spit out in The Brothers Strong's basement where everything is back}

STORNG BAD: Everything is here? Hey, this is just 3 hours earlier before I checked that email from A fan.

MATT CHAPMAN: Dun Dun Dun.

STRONG BAD: Whoa! A sound effect! I have to hear it again! Matt, say your line again!

MATT CHAPMAN: No, Strong Ba- Fine. Dun Dun Dun.

STRONG BAD: I should find that blackhole guy so I won't have to live with two Strong Bads. I don't want some guy called "Strong Bad, Too?"

{Cut to The Locker Room}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Coach Z, did you see some blackhole thingy go by?

COACH Z: I saw him at uhh... the top of Bubs' Consession Stand. Yeah.

STRONG BAD: Thanks!

{Strong Bad leaves}

COACH Z: Sucker.

{Cut to Strong Bad walking in the field}

STRONG BAD: How do I get to the top of Bubs'? I ripped off The Paper, so I can't ride him up, and a ladder costs $600.36.

{Strong Sad comes in}

STRONG BAD: Dumpface II, I won't lock you in the tub this Decemberween if you tell me how I can get to the top of Bubs' without paying anything.

STRONG SAD: What are you doing here? I just saw you playing "TROGDOR!!!"

STRONG BAD: Oh, yeah. This is the past. I didn't rip off The Paper yet.

STRONG SAD: What are you talking about?

{Strong Bad punches Strong Sad in the face}

STRONG SAD: You said you won't hurt me.

STRONG BAD: I said I won't lock you in the tub this year. I'm going to lock you in the closet instead!

{Strong Bad laughs and walks to Bubs' Consession Stand}

STRONG BAD: The Paper, come down.

{The Paper comes down and Strong Bad grabs on and rides it up}

{Cut to the top of Bubs' Consession Stand}

STRONG BAD: I don't see anyone! Crap!

{Strong Bad falls through the roof on the top}

NEGUHSAW: Now that Strong Bad is out of the way, I can proceed my plan to take over Free Country USA and uhh... make everyone my slaves.

{Cut to Blue-Fadey Land}

STRONG BAD: This place again? I feel sorry for whoever didn't see my miraclous escape from this place. I guess I will have to get out like I did in that Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land.

{Strong Bad pound on the ground while screaming, he creates a hole and falls through}

{Cut to inside Bubs' Consession Stand}

STRONG BAD: Coach Z? What are you doing in here and why do you have all my stuff?

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute.

{Strong Bad reaches into Coach Z's mouth, pulls out Neguhsaw, takes his stuff and jumps into Neguhsaw}

THE BROTHERS STRONG'S BASEMENT: THE PRESENT

{Strong Bad pulls out matter-erasing gun and shoots Neguhsaw}

STRONG BAD: Now that that blackhole is out of the way, I'll check another email.

{Strong Bad takes the Lappy and checks his email}

STRONG BAD: S-T-R-O-N-G B-A-D! Strongbademail.exe!

subject: CA$H

Congratulations Strong Bad!
You just won some CA$H!
Just send us your credit card number along with bank PIN to scammers@loseyourmoney.com

Congratulations again,

freegifts.com

STRONG BAD: Oh no. Not another one of these claim-your-prize-by-sending-your-PIN emails again. I know what to do with this email!

STRONG BAD: DELETED! I sure feel sorry for those people who actually answer this email with their personal informaition.

STRONG BAD: Okay, so that email sucked. Time to check a non-scam email.

subject:AWEXOME!

DEAR STRONG BAD!

YOU ARE AWEXOME! I WISH TO CHALLENGE YOU AT TROGDOR!!! IF YOU ACCEPT, MEET ME AT THE STICK.

YOU ARE STILL AWEXOME,

SBEMAIL FAN

{Strong Bad shouts out everything in the email}

STRONG BAD: You don't need to shout everything, but I accept. You're on!

{Strong Bad leaves while Homestar comes in}

HOMESTAR: Hey, a Lappy 486! This can't be Strong Bad's. His is in the computer room! I wonder what's in the recycle bin.

{Homestar checks the recycle bin and pulls up the email Strong Bad deleted}

HOMESTAR: Holy cwap! Cash! I'll answer this email right away!

{Homestar sends the following email}

{Homestar leaves while Strong Bad and Sbemail Fan come in}

STRONG BAD: I can't believe you beat me! I want a rematch!

SBEMAIL FAN: This time next week?

STRONG BAD: Fine.

MEANWHILE...

{Cut to the scammer's headquarters}

THE SCAMMER: Now I will unleash a system error to strongbad@homestarrunner.com, while I steal Homestar's money!

{Cut to The Brothers Strong's basement}

{Strong Bad checks the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: What? That's not a good prize!

{Two minutes later, a new message appears on the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: Hey! I deleted that email. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I need to talk to Dumpface II.

{Cut to The Computer Room room}

STRONG BAD: Dumpface II! Did you see anyone come in the basement while I was gone?

STRONG SAD: Quit calling me that! I saw Homestar come in. He used the Lappy.

STRONG BAD: Bye Dairy Queen.

STRONG SAD: Shut up!

{Cut to Homestar's house}

HOMESTAR: I can't wait 'til I get my free cash! This is so exciting!

{Strong Bad comes in}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, you idiot, you answered a spam email! ON MY COMPUTER!

HOMESTAR: It was free cash.

STRONG BAD: You don't even know you won't get anything while some weirdo is stealing your stuff. Most importantly, MY COMPUTER HAS CRASHED!

STRONG BAD: I'm going to find THE SCAMMER, make him fix my computer, and kick him in the grill, or kill him.

{Cut to Bubs' Consession Stand}

STRONG BAD: Bubs, do you know who THE SCAMMER is?

BUBS: He used to work for me, but he quit. He said he wanted to move to Los Angeles.

STRONG BAD: How the crap am I supposed to get to LA?

BUBS: I'll sell you my old car for $11.01.

STRONG BAD: DEAL!

{Strong Bad hands Bubs $11.01}

STONG BAD: I should probably bring Strong Mad and The Cheat along with me so Strong Mad can beat up THE SCAMMER and The Cheat can throw his Chinese Food at him.

{Cut to Strong Mad's room}

STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Mad, The Cheat and I are going to LA. Want to come with us?

STRONG MAD: WHEN THIS IS OVER!!!

{The television is airing an episode of Sweet Cuppin' Cakes}

STRONG MAD: I LOVE SWEETIE CAKES!!!

6 HOURS LATER...

{Cut to the car, Strong Bad is sitting in the driver's seat, while Strong Mad and The Cheat are sitting in the back}

STRONG BAD: It's road trip time!

STRONG MAD: ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!

THE CHEAT: Meh.

{Strong Bad starts the car and drives off in the distance}

{Cut to a desert where the car is driving}

THE CHEAT: Meh!

STRONG BAD: Don't worry, we're almost there. There's a sign up ahead.

STRONG MAD: I WANT TO KILL THE SCAMMER!

THE CHEAT: Meh.

STRONG BAD: Bingo sucks. Hey, we're here!

STRONG BAD: We're here. Now let's find the scammer.

A FAN: Fools! I am the scammer!

HOMESTAR: Dun dun dun.

STRONG MAD: Hmm. This predicament is very facinating. I will submit a plan when I think of one.

ALL: ...

Is A Fan really the scammer? Why is Homestar here, he obviously didn't come in the car. And what's up with Strong Mad? Find out on the...(scratch-scritch)

Homestarrunner PAY PLUS!

We are sorry.

Our site is down. Come back and we'll charge $50!

Sincerely,

Matt Chapman

{Homestar Runner walks on-screen and looks at the email.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Booooooooring!

{Homestar spin-kicks the email, revealing a still of the last segment of the email. He vanishes, and it resumes to normal.}

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