The Neverending Email/Archive 1
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
This page contains all Neverending email entries from June 24, 2005 through July 24, 2005.
DO NOT PUT NEW ENTRIES ON THIS PAGE! Post it on the main Neverending Email page instead.
Transcript
{Strong Bad sits down and begins email}
STRONG BAD:It's email time for all the little boys and girls. {reading}
strong bad,
How do you type with boxing gloves on
Crapfully yours,
A Fan
STRONG BAD: Crap! I get about 10,000 emails exactly like this every day. One of them made it through the...um...Type with mask and boxing gloves on filter. Alright...{squinting to read name} A Fan. I'm coming to get you!
HOMESTAR: I'm coming too, Strong Bad.
STRONG BAD: Oh no. No way you're coming with me.
HOMESTAR: I'll give you five bucks.
STRONG BAD: Come on.
{The two walk out of room}
STRONG BAD: Okay doofus remember we're going to kill a fan nothing else just a fan
HOMESTAR: Okay Stwong Bad
{Zoom in on Homestar there's a hole zoom into the hole there's a little alien controlling Homestar}
ALIEN: Now I can destroy the world thanks to Strong Bad I just need to take this fan's mind and the world will be mine
STRONG BAD: Ok, let's see if he's in this cave.
HOMESTAR: Wight!
VOICE: Now you two, prepare to meet your doom!!!
STRONG BAD: Who are you?!
VOICE: I am...
{walks towards them to reviel it's...}
THE CHEAT: Meh!
STRONG BAD: Oh man, you really had me for a second. Let's find a fan and...um..kill him I guess..
HOMESTAR: Wight!
THE CHEAT: {simultaneously} Meh!
{Strong Bad, Homestar, and The Cheat are about to walk out of the frame when Strong Sad suddenly walks in.}
STRONG SAD: Um... what are you guys doing?
STRONG BAD: Oh, absolutely nothing.
HOMESTAR: {at the exact same time} We're going to kill a fan.
STRONG SAD: Are you sure that's a good idea? You could be sentenced to solitary confinement or even death for that sort of thing.
HOMESTAR: You know, Bad Strong, he could be right.
THE CHEAT: {indignant} Meh! Mennamunhana menna meh!
STRONG BAD: Don't listen to Strong Sad, The Cheat. He liked 2001: A Space Odyssey!
STRONG SAD: It was a brilliant movie!
STRONG BAD: Brilliant, schmilliant! It was freakin' boring! There was no dialogue for, like, the first 25 minutes of the movie! The end was just a bunch of lame, outdated special effects that eventually culminated into that one Dave guy ending up into a living room! And what was with that stupid computer, Sal or Al or something? It won't let them back into the spaceship for no reason! And when Dave dismantled his insides with a screwdriver, the computer started singing some stupid song about a flower! That whole film was a load of crap!
STRONG SAD: Some people consider it one of the greatest movies of all time.
STRONG BAD: Ah, those are the sort of people that liked Citizen Kane.
STRONG SAD: {sighs} I'm movin' out.
{Strong Sad leaves the frame.}}
THE CHEAT: Menna menhada meh?
HOMESTAR: No, he's Luke's father.
STRONG BAD: C'mon, guys, lets go.
HOMESTAR: Aye-aye, Professor Oak!
STRONG BAD: Um, did you just call me Professor Oak?
HOMESTAR: Would you preferred to be called Gilligan?
STRONG BAD: {confused} What the crap? {normal voice} Whatever. Let's just go.
THE CHEAT: {saluting Strong Bad} Menna meh!
{All three leave the frame.}
{The three walk into Strong Mad's room. Strong Mad is mashing a video game controller.}
STRONG MAD: LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER!
STRONG BAD: Are you playin Star Wars there big guy?
STRONG MAD: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!
STRONG BAD: Leaving.
Strong Mad: WIPE YOUR FEET!
{The three walk offscreen to The Field to find Homsar}
HOMSAR: What takes the fuzzies to the table?
THE CHEAT: {annoyed}Mehnemenena!
STRONG BAD: Just leave him The Cheat.
{The Cheat shrugs and Strong Bad and The Cheat walk offscreen}
HOMESTAR: {shyly} So uh... me and Stong Bah are going to assault a fan and uh.. {starts digging his foot into the ground} yeah. {Homestar turns around} Stong Bah? Teh C.?
HOMESTAR: Oh, cwap! Where did they go now?
{screen pans to see that they are right next to him}
STRONG BAD: Um...right here.
HOMESTAR: Oh, wite. Homestarrunner dot net...
STRONG BAD: Wrong cartoon, man. Anyway, how are we going to find out where this guy lives?
THE CHEAT: {holds up a telephone book and makes Cheat noises sounding like "The Yellow Pages"}
STRONG BAD: Hey, good idea, The Cheat! Let's see A Fan...
{Strong Sad enters with a suitcase}
STRONG SAD: In case you were wondering, I'm moving to Seatle. Here's my address. I'm rooming with a guy named Mr. Fan.
STRONG BAD: No way! Dumpy, we're coming with you.
HOMESTAR: {holding back laughs} Dumpy...
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises sounding like "Come on!"}
{they all walk out the door}
(cuts to bubs in the front seat of a five seated airplane)
(Strong Bad, Homestar, and Strong Sad enter screen)
STRONG BAD: One trip to seatle you moron!
BUBS: Five pencil shavings please.
(Strong Bad reaches in his pocket, takes out a pile of pencil shavings, and hands them to Bubs)
BUBS: One trip to Seatle coming up!
(Strong Bad, Homestar, and Strong Sad jump inside airplane)
(Bubs starts plane)
(plane lifts up)
STRONG BAD: I hope this is the right fan, The Cheat.
THE CHEAT: Meh.
(2 Hours Later)
STRONG BAD: Hurry up Bubs!
VOICE: Cabbage beats like pie.
STRONG BAD: Homsar?!?!?!?!?
HOMSAR: Aaahhh!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(everybody screams)
(plane spins out of control)
STRONG BAD: This isn't worth five pencil shavings!!
(plane crashes)
{Cut to a blurry screen, where we see a blur carrying a red blur, then a yellow blur, then the screen moves towards the main blur. The eyes close. Later, Homestar wakes up in an unknown bed}
HOMESTAR: GBAH! THE SHIP'S SINKING CAPTAIN!
COACH Z: Hey Homestar! Welome to my blimp!
{The screen zooms out slightly. Strong bad is in another bed and coach Z is standing next to Homestar}
STRONG BAD: Balloon man... donkey- PAH!
{Strong Bad sits up}
STRONG BAD: WOW! I'm in a bed! Hey! Where's my The Cheat?
{The Cheat comes in with a cigarette}
COACH Z: NO! THIS SHIP HAS HYDROG-
{Pan out. The ship explodes. The four of them fall. Suddenly Homsar falls below them, and grabs onto them.}
STRONG BAD: GET OFFA ME!
{His hat inflates. They land on an island...}
{covered with a purple carpet and bald monkies hanging from the peach tree growing in the center. Homsar slowly lands on an escalator which carries them to the ground. They start eating sandwiches growing on vines.}
STRONG BAD: Uh... this place looks... Homsarish.
STRONG SAD: Well it does belong to Homsar.
THE CHEAT: {Makes noises in style of "What happend?".}
COACH Z The ship a splode! I mean, thy ship explaerd! I mean, THE SHIP EXPLODE!!!
HOMSAR: I got my jengjaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAammm!
STRONG SAD: Homsar! We are not playing jenga.
STRONG BAD: {Looks forward.} Holy Crap!!!
HOMESTAR: {Also looks forward.} Oh, Gosh!
