Fake Character Emails Casey Hart/8
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
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About
Casey explains why no one hits on her.
CAST: Casey, Marzipan, Coach Z (mentioned)
SETTING: Caseys office, Marzipans living room
Transcript
{opens up to caeys office. Casey is sitting at her computer}
CASEY: Anything you can do, email can do better. {hits enter}
Subject: The 2nd to only girl?Hey, Queen of... Aces?
Anyway, apparently you're the only girl in FCUSA besides Marzipan.
Have you ever had to worry about anybody (AKA lonely Strong Sads) hitting on you?
- The Joker! ...Or Badstar. ...Again.
{casey says queen of hearts as the intro, fcusa as fkoosa, strong sad as forest dump, and the end as spades.}
CASEY: Y'know, you don't have to give me a new title when you send me another email. {clears the screen} When I moved here, I really was worried about that. So I turned to the only other girl here. Of course, their paunch drove me away, so I just spoke to marzipan.
{opens up to marzipans living room. marzipan is sitting on her couch, reading a book entitles algonquin stew. Casey walks in}
CASEY: Are you m-Marzipan?
MARZIPAN: Ye- Wait, I'm not the only girl anymore!
CASEY: Really? Then who was the grey fat kid I saw?
MARZIPAN: ...Anyways, who are you?
CASEY: Um... Kara Reaper.
MARZIPAN: Ok, Kara. Want a locally grown completely organic no-animal products wheat cookie? {holds up a plate}
CASEY: No thanks, I'm... um... not.
MARZIPAN: So, why were you looking for me?
CASEY: I was told you were the only other girl here. How don't you get hit on? Like, at all?
MARZIPAN: {aggrivated} Was that supposed to be an insult.
CASEY: No. I just met a whole bunch of goobers here.
MARZIPAN: Oh. Do you mean Coach Z?
CASEY: If you mean mister buttpat, I've already filed a lawsuit.
MARZIPAN: Ok. Why don't you just use stalker spray?
CASEY: Cool! Can I see a bottle?
MARZIPAN: Sure! {tosses her a stalker spray keychain}
CASEY: Sweet! {sprays marzipan square in the face. she stands(?) up quickly}
MARZIPAN: What was that for?!?
CASEY: Testing. And thanks for the pepper spray! {runs off}
MARZIPAN: {sighs}
{cuts back to the half hearted}
CASEY: Basically, a good dose of stalker spray and a swift slap upside the face is all you need. Now, I need to go to the court room. {gets up, and walks away}
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Easter Eggs
None.
Fun Facts
- Forest Dump references the movie Forrest Gump.
- Spades references trading cards, in which Casey referred to him as such.
- Coach Z is an avid butt patter.
- Taking the second a out of Kara Reaper spells KarReaper, pronounced like creeper.
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