Fake Character Emails Casey Hart/6

From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki

Contents 1 About 2 Transcript 3 Easter eggs 4 Fun Facts

About

Casey gives some tips on playing poker.
CAST: Casey, The cheat, Strong Sad, Bubs
SETTING: Caseys office, Strong bads kitchen

Transcript

{opens up to the office. Casey is sitting at the half hearted}

CASEY: And email descended from the internet. Strong bad, 3:12. {hits enter}

Subject:Poker

Dear Poker Queen
Do you have any tips for playing Poker? I need some help.
Poker King

{casey correctly types poker queen, adds a comma at the end, and uncapitalizes the third poker}

CASEY: Okay, lets get one thing straight. You cannot add 'king' or 'queen' in front of your user name if you need tips. {clears the screen} Well, poker noob, I don't really like to give tips. So, I made a video to distract you long enough to make myself a sandwhich. Enjoy! {types ohhowihategivingtips.exe, and hits enter. casey walks away. The camera zooms into the static on the screen. Casey appears on it, on a blafck/red back ground.}

CASEY: Hello. I'm miss Hart. If you're watching this, I was hungry and didn't want to talk to you. Please enjoy the tips in this video.

{the cheat appears on a yellow background. some music plays in the background}

CASEY: This is the good poker player. Lets call him richard. Richard here is an avid poker player, {a deck of cards appears in front of him} and can make tons of cash {about ten bags of money appear behind him} and become happy off of this. {a cigar appears in the cheats mouth, and a limo appears in the background. he smiles}

{the screen pans to a blue background. strong sad is standing there}

CASEY: This lumpadump is the awful player. Lets call him Miles. Miles loses all of his money {a torn burlap sack labled potaters appears on him} because of a terrible realization of chance {a cardboard box appears behind him} and horrible luck. {a sign labled homeless appears in his hand. Strong sad sighs}

{cuts to strong bads kitchen. the cheat and bubs are there. they each hold a few cards. a small stack of tokens is in the middle of the table, next to a deck of cards.}

CASEY: First, for the superstitious of us, you can bring a good luck charm, like a rabbits foot {a picture of a rabbit appears at the top of the screen}, a clover {a four leaf clover apperas}, or... um... lucky underwear? {a pair of under wear appears at the top of the screen, labled purple unders.} Anyways, {the three pictures dissapear} knowing good times to fold and raise the ante is key. {the screen pans over the the cheat. he has three kings and two sevens} For example, a full house or a straight {the cards change to a seven, an eight, a nine, a ten, and a jack} are good hands to keep and bet on.

THE CHEAT: {normal the cheat noises} {pushes a few red tokens into the middle of the table.}

CASEY: But always, and I repeat, {the screen with casey on the yellow background appears. casey is standing very close to the camera} ALWAYS, {pan back} fold a hand that just has a high card. You will almost never win with that. {Bubs faces the camera}

BUBS: If you have a hand you cant decide with, like three-of-a-kind, flip a coin!

CASEY: {walks into the frame, carrying a plate with a cheese sandwich on it} And before you critisize this, keep in mind poker is mainly luck.

{the screen changes. now, bubs is playing againsed strong sad. the camera pans over to strong sads hand. he has three nines, and two fours}

CASEY: {voice over} Never bet a little on a good hand, like miles here. {strong sad pushes a single red token into the center} If you win, you get less than you deserve. However, betting a lot on a bad hand, or bluffing, is okey. This will make your opponents possibly fold. Just don't do it every single time you have a bad hand.

{the screen pans over to the cheat/bubs seen.}

CASEY: Finally, either get a great poker face, or hide yours. By the way, a poker face is a face that shows no real emotion. I suggest using an oversized parasol. {the cheat pulls a parasol out of hammer space, and hides himself behind it}

{casey sits back down at the computer. she clears the screen}

CASEY: Thanks for watching. I knew making that would come in handy at some point. Give'm the goods spades!

Email Casey here!

Easter eggs

None.

Fun Facts

• 'Purple unders' references the show The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack.
• Caseys intro references the general way to speak verses from the bible (quote, writer, section, number).

Casey Hart Emails
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