Other Character Email Pan Pan/Amusement Park

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Summary

Pan Pan, 1-Up, and Stinkoman go to AnnihiLand, a brand new amusement park that combines aspects of the 2000s and the 20X0's. Pan Pan does his best to make sure none of them gets killed.

Cast (in order of appearance): Pan Pan, Bored Kids, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Various People, Various Robots, Robot Employees, Pan Pan's Cousin, Greggo

Page Title: OptiPilot XZ - Lifesaver?

Words: 2,524

Transcript

{Cut to a view of the city. Suddenly, we fast-forward to Pan Pan's room.}

VOICE: {off-screen} We need to stop with these slow, unnecessary zoom ins.

{Pan Pan walks onscreen and picks up his OptiPilot on a bedstand.}

PAN PAN: (I'll need to think of some other kind of trend to start my emails, even though I don't know why I should do one. Anyway, do your thing, OptiPilot.)

OPTIPILOT: {robotic voice} You have three emails.

{The OptiPilot shoots out a holographic screen with the following email. Pan Pan shouts when he reads the capitalized text.}

PAN PAN: (So this is what they call spam mail. I'm going to de-)

{Suddenly, a really fast object flies past the screen, shocking Pan Pan. Then he sees that the object has dropped three tickets in Pan Pan's hand that's not holding the OptiPilot. Pan Pan reads the tickets.}

PAN PAN: (AnnihiLand... hmm... OptiPilot, scan this and show me a video about this AnnihiLand...)

{Pan Pan holds the three tickets up in front of the OptiPilot, which shoots a red beam at the tickets. The OptiPilot shoots a little holographic commercial, which begins to play. Zoom in on the commercial, which shows bored kids at home, dully sitting on a couch.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Are you bored? Do you want to go to the arcade? Do you want to go fight some challenges?

STINKOMAN: {voiceover} Ye-

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Hey! Get out of here! You're not supposed to be in here! Get out!

{Sounds of dispute with guards are heard.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Ugh... I'll need to edit this part out... Anyway, do you want to go play video games all day?

BORED KID #1: Actually, I want to choke my...

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} If so, then WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!? YOU SHOULD BE GOING TO ANNIHILAND!!!

BORED KID #2: {monotone} What?

{Pan swipe to an amusement park that resembles a 21st century amusement park with some 20X6 elements. The words "ANNIHILAND" appear in colorful, bolded text.}

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} AnnihiLand! The BRAND NEW AMUSEMENT PARK that also resembles the old 21st century amusement parks FOR FUN!!! And yeah...

{Suddenly, the video is sped-up. In the fast-forward, we see rides such as a roller coaster (with hovercrafts (with jets) flying down a roller coaster track), a large ferris wheel encased in metallic armor, a merry-go-round, a gigantic cannon (serving to launch objects into the air), stalls with games, and a floating platform used as a starting point for high-skydiving. Cut to the end of the video, which shows the amusement park, the logo for AnnihiLand, and the slogan, "Go and not sue us!"}

{Cut back to Pan Pan with his OptiPilot and the three tickets. 1-Up, who was watching the video with Pan Pan, is onscreen.}

1-UP: Wow! That's so cool! And you have free tickets too! Awesome!

PAN PAN: (Now 1-Up, just because I have tickets and watched a commercial of AnnihiLand doesn't mean...)

1-UP: {shouting} HEY STINKOMAN! PAN PAN HAS FREE TICKETS TO A NEW AMUSEMENT PARK! {pause} Oh, THE RIDES ARE ASKING YOU FOR CHALLENGES!

STINKOMAN: {off-screen} ARE THEY?!?!?

{Stinkoman jumps onscreen and swipes two of the tickets from Pan Pan's hands.}

STINKOMAN: All right! This is the perfect opportunity for fun and training! Let's go!

{Stinkoman and 1-Up run off-screen.}

PAN PAN: (Well, I guess I have to go to make sure they don't kill themselves.)

{Cut to the entrance of AnnihiLand. Various people and robots can be seen. Stinkoman and 1-Up run onscreen while Pan Pan falls and lands from above. Stinkoman and 1-Up run to the entrance, Stinkoman and 1-Up hand in their tickets into a machine, which makes an energy barrier disappear, allowing Stinkoman and 1-Up to pass. Soon, Pan Pan follows suit.}

{Cut to Stinkoman, 1-Up, and Pan Pan looking at a map of AnnihiLand near the entrance.}

STINKOMAN: So, what rides want to be challenged first today?

{Suddenly, Pan Pan gets a look of discomfort.}

PAN PAN: (Oh shoot... I have to go to the restroom...)

1-UP: What about the bathrooms back home?

PAN PAN: (Cheatball destroyed the pipe system again...)

{Cut to Cheatball's ship (on fire) slightly buried in the ground. Stinkoman's HQ is seen behind the wreckage.}

{Cut to Pan Pan walking to a door in a building near the entrance.}

PAN PAN: (Hmm... I wonder if this is the restroom door... (this place needs labels...)).

{Pan Pan opens the door and looks shocked when robot heads and some human body parts pour out of the door.}

PAN PAN: {freaked out} (Okay... maybe this isn't the restroom. Maybe this is a storage room for special effects stuff... for spooky stuff... for fun... not because people died... already...)

{Pan Pan moves to the next door and opens it. Cut to the inside of the room, which is an indoor graveyard. A bell tolls as the large number of tombstones of the various victims are seen. Cut to Pan Pan, wide-eyed, at the door.}

PAN PAN: (This many people died already? Oh man! I have to get Stinkoman and 1-Up out of here!)

{Cut to a time card.}

As expected, Pan Pan couldn't convince Stinkoman and 1-Up to get out of the amusement park. So now we go to Pan Pan riding a roller coaster with his friends to make sure they don't get killed.

{Cut to the roller coaster (with the hovercrafts). Cut to Stinkoman and 1-Up getting into the hovercrafts. Pan Pan is speaking with a robot employee.}

PAN PAN: (The tracks look like they're about to give away. It doesn't look like a good idea to treat them with the fire from the hovercrafts' jets.)

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #1: Ack, you know, the coating must be coming off. One more ride won't hurt!)

STINKOMAN: {off-screen} This ride has begun its challenge!

PAN PAN: (WAIT!!!)

{Cut to Stinkoman, 1-Up, Pan Pan, and various people and robots riding the ride. When the hovercrafts fly down the tracks at a very fast speed (faster than shown in the video), some people and robots behind Stinkoman, 1-Up, and Pan Pan are seen being sent flying off as the hovercrafts fly down. Cut to the hovercrafts flying to a very high point at a very fast speed. Suddenly, the tracks catch fire. Soon, most of the tracks are burnt into smithereens. The hovercrafts continue to fly up. Cut to Pan Pan, panicking.}

PAN PAN: (I knew this was going to happen! I just knew it would! Wait! I still have my OptiPilot!)

{Pan Pan gets out his OptiPilot, which nearly flies out of his hand.}

PAN PAN: (Indy-G Force!)

{Cut to a view of the hovercrafts. Suddenly, they begin to fall at an extremely fast rate after a "sheen" is heard. They're about to crash into the ground when the hovercrafts suddenly stop just a few inches from the ground after another "sheen" is heard. The hovercrafts fall onto the ground lightly. The riders fall off of the hovercrafts in exhaustion from what just happened. Cut to Pan Pan on the ground with the OptiPilot in his hand.}

PAN PAN: {excited and panting} (That was close... I love Indy-G...)

{The robot employee walks onscreen as Pan Pan gets up..}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #1:' Hey! What the crap did you just do? Do you know how much that's going to cost?

{Pan Pan activates the Indy-G Force (indicated by a "sheen" sound effect) and whacks the robot employee with it, breaking it into pieces.}

PAN PAN: (Maybe that's a bit too harsh...)

{Cut to an elevator that flies up to the floating platform shown in the video. Stinkoman and 1-Up run to the elevator. Pan Pan runs onscreen and tries to go into the elevator when a different robot employee stops him.}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #2: Hey! Nobody over 200 pounds can ride the elevator and do some skydiving!

PAN PAN: (Hey! I've had experience in falling, and it's not that bad! Also, I need to protect...)

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #2: That's what I'm here for. Besides, you'll probably break the elevator apart with your weight!

{The elevator flies up to the floating platform. Pan swipe to Stinkoman and 1-Up (wearing goggles) on the floating platform. Stinkoman goes to an attached diving board (much like one in a pool).}

STINKOMAN: LET'S GET THIS ON!!! {jumps into the air and spins} Habila-HUP!

{Stinkoman starts falling down, head first. Cut to the ground, where Pan Pan, with pillows strapped onto his body, looking up with binoculars. There is a box next to Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (Okay! I really hope I won't resort to using these pillows! I do have a good plan that's made with the help of some money I got from selling my cousin's house...)

{Cut to Pan Pan's cousin (who is fatter than Pan Pan and has glasses) in front of a house with a board saying "SOLD!" on the door.}

PAN PAN'S COUSIN: (JERK! I can't believe he sold my house AGAIN!)

{Cut to a view of Stinkoman, still falling, close to the ground. Tense music begins to play. Pan Pan quickly gets out from the box a trampoline, which he places under Stinkoman. Stinkoman lands on the trampoline. However, Stinkoman is sent flying up at a fast speed due to the trampoline. Pan out to a wide view that shows Stinkoman flying up and 1-Up, on the diving board on the floating platform, getting ready to jump. Cut back to Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (Oh crap! This trampoline was more inconvenient than I wanted it to be! I'll have to resort to Plan B if I don't want this to happen.)

{A thought bubble forms above Pan Pan's head. It shows Stinkoman (flying up) and 1-Up (falling down) hitting each other at fast-speed in mid-air, creating an explosion. The thought bubble pops as Pan Pan shakes his head. He picks up the trampoline and runs to the gigantic cannon. Pan Pan pushes the people and robots in line for the cannon out of the way, receiving complaints. He then jumps to in front of the cannon's opening and throws the trampoline into the opening. Then he goes to the other side of the cannon and uses a scope attached to the cannon to aim the cannon. Pan Pan pushes a button, and the cannon shoots out the trampoline.}

{Cut to Stinkoman and 1-Up, who are about to crash into each other. Suddenly, the trampoline shot out of the cannon hits Stinkoman, resulting in Stinkoman and the trampoline flying away from 1-Up in a diagonal direction.}

STINKOMAN: {voice fading as he flies away} WAAAAH!!! This trampoline isn't a fair fighter!

1-UP: {oblivious} Whee!!!

{Cut to space. Stinkoman and the trampoline are close to entering orbit. Suddenly, a Bendini Sister flies into Stinkoman, sending him back into Earth. The trampoline continues to fly into space.}

{Cut to Pan Pan looking at this with binoculars.}

PAN PAN: Okay. Stinkoman isn't saved yet. Still, I have enough money to execute another plan...

{Suddenly, 1-Up falls onto Pan Pan, who falls onto the ground. 1-Up's impact is softened by the pillows strapped to Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (Wow... talk about an inconvenient reverse in position...)

{Pan swipe. A large pool is being moved by robots to where Pan Pan and 1-Up were before the pan swipe. The pool is surrounded by a very, very high metallic wall. Cut to Pan Pan with a robot employee.}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: You realize that we're doing you a big favor in doing this. Especially since we know of your actions at the roller coaster and the cannon.

PAN PAN: (Think of the money... think of it...)

{The robot employee looks up.}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: It looks like he's coming.

{Pan out to show a falling Stinkoman flying into the pool, creating a large splash. No water is spilled out of the pool due to the wall surrounding the pool. Cheering is heard. Cut back to the robot employee and Pan Pan.}

PAN PAN: (We did it! We saved a life! Or more!)

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: Yep!

{Suddenly, Stinkoman's screams and chomps are heard from the pool.}

PAN PAN: (What's that?)

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: Oh, you know, the sharks. They're part of the big water show that took place at the pool you borrowed...

PAN PAN: (And you didn't take the sharks out? They're trying to eat Stinkoman! Tip the pool over, or something!)

{Cut to the base of the pool, where a Greggo with larger, armored legs kicks at the pool wall. Pan out to a wider view of the pool. Amazingly, it tips over. It falls onto the gondola of the fast-moving Frisbee, making it fly off of its supports. The gondola of the Frisbee flies into the hub of the armored ferris wheel, which is broken free from its weak supports and begins rolling, crushing anything that gets in its way. The ferris wheel rolls to the merry-go-round, which is spinning at an extremely fast rate (people are seen being thrown off the ride). The ferris wheel amazingly gets caught in the merry-go-round and is thrown off, flying at a fast rate. As it flies, it crashes through the tracks of a roller coaster ride (different from the one from before). The roller coaster carts (with wheels) fall off the tracks at where it breaks off. Cut to the area of the amusement park with the stalls. The roller coaster carts crash through a line of stalls, sending many objects into the air. In the background, the flying gondola of the Frisbee is seen, crashing into many more rides and creating more destruction. Screams are heard in this entire scene.}

{Cut to Pan Pan and the robot employee looking at this in disbelief.}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: No way is this real...

STINKOMAN: {off-screen} Hey! Those sharks are no longer trying to bite my head off! I wonder why...

{Screams of people and the chomping of sharks are heard. The robot employee faces Pan Pan.}

ROBOT EMPLOYEE #3: You're responsible for all of this! You're going to get SUED!!!

{1-Up walks onscreen.}

1-UP: Sue? Well, that sounds nice, like what I just won from that one stall game before something crashed into it! Look!

{1-Up gets out a ticking time bomb.}

PAN PAN: (1-UP!!! THROW THAT THING AW...)

{Suddenly, the bomb explodes. Fade to black.}

{Cut to a hospital room. Pan Pan, who is bandaged in the ears, some parts of his body, some parts of his hands, and his neck, limps onscreen. He picks up a newspaper, reads it, and throws it onto the floor.}

PAN PAN: (This wasn't worth it... I should've deleted that email when I had the chance... Lucky the robots who wanted to sue me are deactivated or destroyed.)

{Pan Pan gets out his OptiPilot, which is undamaged.}

PAN PAN: (Freakin' force field. Too slow to protect more than it did...)

{The OptiPilot shoots out a holographic screen, which says the following.}

Click here to email Pan Pan at flyingpanda529@cocomail.com

Easter Eggs

You will need to look for the Easter Eggs yourself in the Transcript. If you've found all two Easter Eggs, you are allowed to click on the [edit] button. If not, it's advised that you attempt to find the Easter Eggs. If you truly can't find all two, click on the [edit] button.


Fun Facts

  • Pan Pan made a failed attempt in making a trend to start his emails in Friendship.
  • The name AnnihiLand is based on the word annihilate.
  • Indy-G Force is a function of the OptiPilot mentioned in Diet.
  • The conveniently placed trampolines running gag is referenced.
  • Click on the Wikipedia link on Frisbee rides in the transcript to know about the ride.


Other Character Email Pan Pan

Diet | Pans | Friendship | Amusement Park | Time Travel | Tai Chi | Keyboard | Technology | Pom Pom | Aliens | Movies

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