Other Character Email Gunhaver/fashion
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
Contents |
Summary
DVD email #3
In the lost email that takes place when Gunhaver's stuck in the future, he decides to go shopping for new clothes, since his are out of style for 20X5.5.
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Guntoshi, Alpha Stan, Foxychan, Wind Master, Liekand
Transcript
{Cut to the exterior of the Chibilichi Commandos HQ, which looks like something like a Best Buy building in the future, with several ships flying around and flashing lights flashing. Cut to the computer room, where Gunhaver and Guntoshi walk to The Widescreen.}
GUNTOSHI: Well, time-traveling is banned until 20X6, so you can't go back to the past yet. You can check your emails here, but the style the email will be in will be like how your emails will look like with your new computer.
GUNHAVER: The Delta 2001?
GUNTOSHI: Even better.
{Then Guntoshi types on The Widescreen. Then Alpha Stan appears on the screen.}
ALPHA STAN:Hello Gunhaver. You have one unread DVD email.
{Gunhaver screams.}
GUNTOSHI: Yeah, Alpha Stan's pretty creepy, eh?
GUNHAVER: What are you talking about? I screamed because this is a DVD email!
GUNTOSHI: Uh, right. Just answer this email while someone finds a way to help you.
{Guntoshi presses a button and leaves just as the following email appears on The Widescreen.}
Subject: what's that?Hey, Gunhavah
Have a nice day.
What's that on you're shirt?
Whatever it is, it's huge!
{Gunhaver presses a button and then...}
GUNHAVER: Uh, how do I type on this thing?
{As he says that, the words "Uh, how do I type on this thing?" appear on The Widescreen.}
GUNHAVER: Oh, that's cool. Anyway, so what about my shirt? Is that a way to say that my fashion sense sucks? It is sooooo that fashion sense of the 21st century! But, this is not the 21st century, is it?
GUNTOSHI: {off-screen} No, I think it's the 21.Xth century, so yeah, your fashion sense sucks.
GUNHAVER: Oh man, I need to go shopping, but I hate shopping. And I have no money.
{Then Foxychan walks into the room.}
FOXYCHAN: Don't worry creepy old man from the past. I know a place where you can buy clothes that are in-style and are cheap!
GUNHAVER: Well, that sounds great! Thanks! You're kind of like a daughter I never had, nor will I ever have one.
FOXYCHAN: Yes you will. I am your daughter.
GUNHAVER: Oh. {pause} This is getting a bit disturbing. TO THE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE BUY CLOTHES!!!
{Cut to a futuristic place with ships and a large shiny dome where there is a holographic banner constantly flashing: BUY AT MASTER AND APPRENTICE WINDY FASHION store! Cut to inside the shop, where Wind Master (a large Chibi in white robes) is sending clothes at a Chibi using wind, sending the clothes flying into that Chibi, sending him flying out of a window and off the building.}
WIND MASTER: Oops, I should remember to get actual 20X5.5 windows. That way, I won't be sued. Anyway, NEXT!!!
{Gunhaver and Foxychan walk into the room.}
WIND MASTER: {pointing at Gunhaver} WHAT is that? WHAT is THAT??? Some sort of ancient 21st century fashion? Because it's old! SO OLD!
GUNHAVER: {sarcastically} I'm sure he's the perfect kind of salesman.
FOXYCHAN: Yep, he is.
GUNHAVER: I was being sarcastic!
WIND MASTER: {to Foxychan} You, you just go on shopping by yourself like you always do. {to Gunhaver} You, we'll give you clothes to help you fit in the 20X5.5 style. APPRENTICE!!!
VOICE: {off-screen} My name's Liekand!
{As Foxychan leaves, Liekand (as a rat) walks into the room, wearing a fancy suit and shades.}
WIND MASTER: Yeah, but your last name is Apprentice. Anyway, get him the clothes for the past to 20X5.5 fashion that we're working on.
{Liekand leaves.}
GUNHAVER: Um, look, I'm only going to need the clothes for like, a few weeks or days, since...
WIND MASTER: Silence! Customers should learn to shut up! Here he comes!
{Liekand comes with a robe.}
WIND MASTER: Try this robe.
GUNHAVER: I don't know. It looks stylish in, like, the medieval times.
WIND MASTER: Shut up and put on this robe!
{Liekand puts the robe on Gunhaver.}
WIND MASTER: Well, do you like it?
GUNHAVER: Well, um...
WIND MASTER: I'll take that as a yes. SOLD!
{A chime is heard. Then Liekand leaves and comes with a boot and what looks like a glass shoe.}
WIND MASTER: Try these new unmatched shoes!
GUNHAVER: Well, I don't really have feet, and they don't look futuristic and...
WIND MASTER: SHUT UP! {Liekand forces the shoes onto where Gunhaver's feet should be} Marvelous! SOLD!
{A chime is heard. Liekand comes with a turban.}
GUNHAVER: A turban??? Look, I...
WIND MASTER: {sighs} What do I have to tell you to shut up? Put it on.
{Liekand puts the turban on Gunhaver.}
WIND MASTER: You look gorgeous! SOLD!
{A chime is heard.}
GUNHAVER: I think this is more suited for the past instead of the future.
WIND MASTER: This is going to be the new style. And, another thing...
{Suddenly, multiples of Wind Master's rapidly pop into the screen from many different positions, saying, "Shut up!" each time he pops into the screen. Then he returns to his original position.}
{Cut to the following time card.}
Several clothes, SOLDs, chimes, and shut ups later...
{Cut to the scene with Wind Master and Gunhaver. Gunhaver now has a robe, the glass shoe, the boot, a turban, a bow on his head, a necklace, a skirt, and a Speedo.}
GUNHAVER: Man, I definitely look ridiculous.
WIND MASTER: {sighs} Shut...
{Liekand comes with a camera.}
LIEKAND: I did it, master. I recorded him in the ridiculous clothing and am about to post it on the InstaNet.
GUNHAVER: What??? I KNEW this was ridiculous!
WIND MASTER: You're right. We're going to blackmail you. We're going to put up your ridiculous clothing on the InstaNet unless you make the Chibilichi Commandos give us all of their money!
GUNHAVER: Screw you! I'm leaving.
{Gunhaver walks away. Then we pan out to see that this is all seen on The Widescreen. Wind Master and Gunhaver (still wearing the ridiculous clothing) are there.}
WIND MASTER: See fool? If you just made the Chibilichi Commandos give us all of their money, we wouldn't have posted this on the InstaNet for you to be ridiculed by the public?
GUNHAVER: What are you talking about? Haven't you heard? This has become the new fashion trend, and I made some 20X5.5 bucks, which I don't really need, since I'm from the past, and the Chibilichi Commandos already have a lot of money.
{Then Guntoshi comes with a bag of money and a lightweight catapult.}
GUNTOSHI: I got the stuff you need.
{Gunhaver puts the bag of money on the catapult and takes out a remote control.}
GUNHAVER: Since we don't need money nor your presence, GO FETCH!
{Gunhaver pushes the button, making the catapult throw the bag of money before the bag disappears. Then the Wind Master puts up his hand, and suddenly, wind is blown towards his hand before the bag of money flies into his hand.}
WIND MASTER: Yeah, I have supreme wind powers.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
WIND MASTER: And even though you sent the money into the farthest black hole...
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
WIND MASTER: ...I easily got the money back with my wind powers.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
WIND MASTER: Meaning you won't get rid of me.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
WIND MASTER: But now I'll leave, rich and successful.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
{Wind Master leaves.}
GUNTOSHI: That was pathetic.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
GUNTOSHI: Stop that! Oh, and you should change into your old clothes. That style sucks like Nebulon's.
GUNHAVER: Yeah.
{Cut to The Widescreen. The Paper comes down, saying, Click here to email Gunhaver at gunhaver_email.exe. At the same time, Alpha Stan says this.}
ALPHA STAN:Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe
Easter Eggs
- Press the angle button on a random button to see this:
{Cut to the store, where Wind Master is holding the bag of money in front of Liekand.}
WIND MASTER: Look, I got a lot of dough!
{Suddenly, Liekand forms a tornado around him and sucks in the bag of money.}
LIEKAND: I think I finished my training.
WIND MASTER: Yeah.
LIEKAND: See you at Pink Cloud Zone!
{Liekand disappears in a breeze, literally.}
Fun Facts
- This takes place after Time traveling 2 and before Back to the Present.
- Foxychan being Gunhaver's daughter is based on fanstuff where 1-Up and 20X6 Marzipan (a.k.a. Marzichan) are the children of Homestar Runner and Marzipan.
- This is similar to the Tampo Email, tornado guy.
- The blackmail is similar to Space Tree #4: Space Slave, where Commander blackmails Space Tree in the same way.
