Homsar's Blog/Page 7

"System scans say that the sentience cable."

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Sorry about that. I went out for a snack. You know, a 74 hours snack. Let's continute.

Homeschool explained that the evil villian-minds behind the fiendish plot kidnapped him so they could get the code for his lab. Apparently, Homeschool had been working on some hi-tech weapons. They then made a evil clone of Homeschool so the clone could tell them the lab code. They had the code, but things got difficult when I showed up. On the way towards Homeschool, the ninjas attacked me. In the short time I was blacked out, they took some of my DNA, and they also made a robot copy of me, so the citizens of Free Country wouldn't wonder where Homsar got to. Did I mention they wanted the weapons so they could take over the world? Well, I just mentioned it. Summed up, the evil guys had made evil clones of me and Homeschool so they could steal Homeschool's weapons and take over the world. Simple.

After Homeschool finished explaining, I decided that we had to get out and save the world from the evil Homsar and Homeschool. The elevator went ding, and we went out into the hallway, only to find a large amount of guards closing in from both sides. Homeschool quickly asked me if I had taken anything from his lab. I said only the Schmick, but then I remembered - the headset! I gave him the headset from inside my mouth. He was a little grossed out, but he pressed a few buttons on the headset, and it turned into some sort of futuristic weapon. He fired it at the guards, and they shrunk to the size of peas. Now that the guards were out of the way, we moved on out to the exit. We got to the end of the corridor - but there was no exit! "DANG IT!", I yelled. I knew I came in this exact spot. Right next to doors 101A and 101B. I looked at the doors, and all of a sudden I realised something - these doors were marked 101C and 101D! It was a different area! I asked Homeschool for an explanation.

"Well", he said. "I believe that this is a totally different complex from the one you came in at. You got here using the teleportation room. Now, I believe there's another one to get back - I overheard the guards talking about 874D." At this point, I realised that the first digit was the floor number, the middle two digits were how many doors down, and the letter was what side of the hallway it's on. A and B for Complex 1, C and D for Complex 2. I then realised that we'd have to walk down 74 doors before we got to the one we wanted. It was a long walk, lemme tell ya.

I gotta cut the blog off now, the pizza's arrived.

Current mood: Storytellinged

Current flash movie: Imitation Strong Bad E-mail 5: threemail - Imitation Strong Bad

Okay, I e-mailed the blog providers, and they said that they increased my maximum blog length. Alrighty, on with the story I was telling all yall.

...nothing happened! I looked, and saw that there were only 7 digits. I needed one more. So I thought. How would I figure out the last digit? So, I just went for random guessing. I entered in number 4 - and whaddaya know, it was correct!

So, I walked in. It was just a long, long hallway with doors every couple or so metres on both sides. After the first 17 doors, I was getting sick of walking, so I went into the door marked "118B". What was there shocked me - the room was full of electricity! I figured that it was the forcefield generator. I looked for a way to shut it down... but I couldn't see anything! I walked around the back, and...

...an IPod? What? I wonder what the crap and IPod could be doing there. So, I pick it up and put it in my pocket. Well, I don't have pockets, but I do have a mouth. And it's quite large and good for storing things. So, I put it in there. I can't see anything else of any interest, but I smell something rather unpleasant. Looking for the source, I turn around, and just my luck, there's a... mutant, giant, flying taco?! Whatever it is, it needs deoderant. All of a sudden, it starts glowing. I wasn't in the right position to do something, so I just ran at him with all my might. I was screaming at the time, and unfortunately, my new IPod flew out. It hit the taco, and it started playing music of some sort. The taco didn't apparently like this - he started flying all around the room, shooting out tropical lazor beams. I was getting weirded out, so I grabbed my IPod, ran out and slammed the door shut. Well, I had to find another way to disable the force field. I decided to go backwards a bit, and I went into door "114A". It's really dark (but not dank at least), so I flip the light switch, and I screamed at what I saw.

Me. Grand. I was still screaming when I realised I was looking at a mirror. Oh. Well, what kind of sensible person would have a room with just a mirror in it? Just to make sure it's a mirror, I moved left. And then right. Backwards a little. Forwards a little. Everything seems to be in order. I'm about to turn around, but then I realise something. Aren't mirrors supposed to be made of glass? Too late, I swing around, but then the other Homsar attacks me. This was the last thing I needed, to be attacking myself. Every move I maked, Homsar just duplicated. Eventually, I decide I need to use Squeaky. I start screaming, but then he hits me on the head with a sledgehammer. Even with Squeaky, it still packed quite a punch. I fell to the floor, unconcsious.

When I wake up, I discover I've just been finished being tied up to a pipe. Homsar says to me, "Well Homsar, looks like you're stuck here. Best of luck getting out of this! Now, I'm going back to Free Country USA, where I shall wreck havoc! Moo-hoo-ha-ha!" He turned the light off, shut the door and left. So, I was in pitch blackness, tied to a pole, while a version of me has gone to wreck havoc, and I'll be blamed. Great. I wondered what I could do. But then I realised - he didn't tie up my arms! I don't have any arms! I just untied myself, and walked out. For me, he's not very smart. So, I had two things to do. One - find Homeschool. Two - save Free Country USA from myself. I took number one first. I hoped the next door I walked into didn't have any nasty suprises. Walking down the hallway futhur, I see what appears to be an elevator between doors 124A and 126A. So, that would make the elevator 125A. Wow. I'm a genius. Anyways, going into the elevator, I decide Floor 3 would be good. While the elevator is going down, I notice a book on the floor. Hmmm. I open it up, but then it starts to suck me in! Floor 3 comes and the elevator dings. The doors open, and the giant taco is there again! I decide to take care of two problems with one book, so with all my strength, I pull myself out of the book and throw it at the taco. He is sucked in. I look at it, and see he is stuck in Channelwood, an island of trees. Well, good luck to him. Leaving the book behind, I walk down the hallway. I pick another random door - 320B. The room is empty. I try the next one down, 319B. Also empty. I try all the doors from there down to 305B, and they're all empty. I sigh. This huge, mysterious freaky metal scientist-type place is getting dull. Boy, I should've been happy with dull, because in door 304B, it was anything but dull. I open the door...

Homeschool?! At first, I was relieved. Then when he started strangling me I was a little concerned. I kicked him off, and started running. Running. Running. Past the elevator, past more and more doors. I'm gaining a fair bit of distance (Homeschool never was that good at running), so I open door 337A and run it. I probably should've watched where I was running, because there was a white flash. I didn't know what had happened. The room was empty, anyway, so I slowly opened the door to look where Homeschool was. To my suprise, he was nowhere to be found. What was even more suprising, was when I looked back at the door, it was room 601C. I turn, and walk straight into the wall. It's the end of the corridor. I look at all the doors, and they all start with 6 and end in either C or D. I go back into room 601C/319B whatever, but nothing happens. I walk down the hallway again, wondering what's going on. Trying another room, I go into room 609D. There, was another startling sight:

Homeschool?! Again?! Not wanting to be strangled this time, I run out to slam the door, but Homeschool says, "Wait! Homsar! Stop!" I turned around, and I saw he was tied to a chair. "Trust me!" he said. "Untie me." Something about him made me want to untie him, so I did. The first thing I asked was, "What the crap is happening?" Homeschool took a deep breath and started to say something, but then we heard a door slam. Peering out of the room, I saw the other Homeschool coming out of room 601C! He saw us, and started running towards us. Me and Homeschool started running, being followed by Homeschool. Dashing into the elevator 625D, we closed the doors just in time. We heard Homeschool smash strait into the doors. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. We started going up. Homeschool took a deep breath, and started to explain again.

Current mood: Storytellinged

Current flash movie: Imitation Strong Bad E-mail 5: threemail - Imitation Strong Bad

Ah, the Rocko. A little repaired, but still working.I probably should explain what I've been doing these last two weeks, and why I haven't been updating my blog.

Now, last time I wrote a blog entry, a had learnt how to punch a cow. Well, turns out that that night while I was sleeping, Universal Headmaster Homsar, as I've come to call him, met with Washing Machine and that and got his marbles back. He then sent me back to this universe, with only a note saying, "Homsar, it's been great. Maybe we'll meet again some time. -Homsar". You too, pally. You too.

That's still no excuse as to why I haven't been typing in my blog. Well, Universal Headmaster Homsar was also kind enough to give me back Squeaky, which didn't actually have much to do with anything, but anyways, when he sent me back, he sent me back a couple of metres off the ground. Luckily, Squeaky cushioned my fall, but trust me, the Rocko had seen better times. So, using the object teleporter in the Schmick, I teleported it back to Bubs and asked for a repair. So, there you go. No blog access for over two weeks.

So, I continued on my journey to find Homeschool. It was the morning, so I was covering plently of ground. I've reset the date and all the damage caused by those ninja dudes. I'm travelling at a brisk pace other pretty much barren dessert. Then, all of sudden - SMASHY! The Schmick crashes into something and stops at an unsafe speed. Good thing I was wearing my seatbelt. Well, I get out to see what I hit - nothing's there! I go around to check the front of the car, and boy was it wrecked. It wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I had a look at how far I was away from Homeschool. Around 250km. So, I walk furthur a bit to investigate what I could've ran into, and I run face first into nothing. Trust me, for nothing, it sure hurts when you walk into it. I felt along, and found out it appears to be some sort of invisible force field. Looking around, I wondered what kind of person would put a force field in the middle of the desert.

I hadn't really checked out many of the Schmick's features, so I decided to do it then, since I wasn't going anywhere. On the display, it said, "You have crashed." DUH! But, I was suprised to also see the message "Object: Force Field. Would you like me to find a way to turn it off?" Sp, I pressed yes. It did a bunch of seemingly random stuffs, and then it said, "Cannot turn off automatically. Manual turnoff required". It then printed me out a map (Preeeooww!), which showed a secret entrance. It was only 500m away, but in the hot desert sun, it seemed like forever. Finally, I got where the map said I should be. I looked for the rock to lift up. After looking under 37 different rocks, I finally got the right one. It had a button in it. I pressed it, and fell through a tunnel. I wound up in front of a steel, metal door with a control panel. It asked for the secret code. I had no idea what the code was, so I looked around looking for clues. All of a sudden my keen eyes spotted something etched into the wall: .648 .8.6 6..6 .45. Well it didn't help me much, until I remembered... my Mastercard! I pulled it out of my wallet: 4648 2846 6316 2457. Removing the numbers already on the wall, I ended up with 4243166. I entered in the digits, and all of a sudden

Sorry guys, I gotta end it there. Apparently there's a limit to the length of blog entries. Well, I'll write another part later. I'm going out for a quick snack.

Current mood: Storytellinged

Current flash movie: Imitation Strong Bad E-mail 5: threemail - Imitation Strong Bad

Homsar's feeling a little better today. So, as promised, he's going to teach me how to punch a cow today! I'm slightly weirded out at the whole concept, but Homsar says that it's a good skill to learn. So, we went and found the Schmick (it was just behind the dank, dank cellar where I was transported to) and we drove out to a cowfield on the edge of Homsar's property. Aparently he has a couple of hundred square miles of land. Still can't get around this non-metricness.

EDIT: Sorry, my internet connection cut out. As I was saying, I've driven out to the edge of Homsar's property with Homsar. Now,the correct way to punch a cow is not to use a full-force punch, but to use approximately 75% of your full force when punching a cow. Of course, this is only using a standard cow. Punhching strengths and locations vary depending on the size, weight, and species of the cow you are attempting to punch. A punch could vary as much as 25-90% of full strength, and could be anywhere on the body.

After giving me a few examples, Homsar let me have a go with some standard cows. It took me a while to get it right, but eventually, I went up to a cow, and I punched it with just the right amount of force and in the right spot, and it fell over! I never felt so alive! I then had a go with a couple o fnon-standard cows, such as a cow that was a different colour, a cow that weighed a bit more, and a smaller cow. I managed to get all of them down within the first 7 goes. Homsar says that it's pretty good for a beginner.

In the time from when my internet cut out to the time it came back on, we discussed what we will do tomorrow. Homsar said that he heard that Brain and Chicken and Washing Machine and Trevor had found the last marble and would be coming to see Homsar pretty soon, so it will probably be my last day in the Imitation Universe. Oh well. It's been fun.

Blog entry edited by Homsar at 9:02PM, 27th of August 2005

Current mood: Puncherellered

Current flash movie: Bill the Robot - Matt Chase

Well, I've decided to stop using the Blog Headset for a while. It looks like it's gonna take a while for Washing Machine and such to find Homsar's marbles. So, I went out and decided to explore. Homsar said that he's not feeling well after the Heavy Lourde incident, so he'll be lying down, leaving me free to explore this Imitation Universe.

The first place I went is Imitaiton Strong Bad's house. It looks pretty much the same as Strong Bad's house. When I went to talk to Imitation Strong Bad, he couldn't understand a word I said. Imitation Strong Bad weirds me out. He speaks in some sort of high-pitched Australian accent. What kind of weirdo would have a voice like that? I left when I saw Imitation Strong Mad choking on something.

My next stop was Bubs. To be suprised, he actually seemed happy to see me. I just chatted to him (he happened to have a Jibberish-To-English headset on hand), and I found out that I'm his best customer. After a bit of talking he asked, "Anyways, just the usual?". I said, "Uh, yeah, of course." He then proceeded to take out half a litre of Squeaky polish, a giant chocolate-chip cookie and sandwich. I said to charge it on my card, and I bought 100 pounds (i find it strange how they don't use the metric system) of chocolate and 15 frosty chocolate milkshakes and left. Homsar's gonna be mad when he gets his credit card bill, I tells ya.

After a bit of checking up, I found out that Brain, Chicken, Washing Machine and Trevor only had one marble to go. Looks like soon I'll be able to get back to my universe, and find Homeschool!

Oh, one more thing. Homsar said that tomorrow, if he's feeling better, he'll teach me how to punch a cow!

Current mood: Choco-latayed

Current flash movie: Flash 8 Tour - Macromedia