Other Character Email Gunhaver/Favorites/Fightgar
From Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki
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Summary
Is Fightgar good enough to be Gunhaver's favorite Cheat Commando?
Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Fightgar, Princess, Fang, Alpha Stan, Foxface (Easter egg), Waiter (Easter egg)
Lines: 60
Transcript
{Cut to Gunhaver at the Wall of Favorites.}
GUNHAVER: Of course! Fightgar is my favorite! He is the most efficient, since he has a machine gun! This'll be a piece of cake of an experience!
{Cut to Silent Rip talking to Fightgar in a room.}
SILENT RIP: And I still can't believe that Gunhaver thinks I'm loyal to him despite the fact that I think he's annoying, he's too bossy, and...
{Just then, Gunhaver comes.}
GUNHAVER: Hey Fightgar, my favorite Cheat Commando! Want to go to the shooting range, or that one obstacle course amusement park that just opened?
FIGHTGAR: I would, Gunhaver, but I have to go on a date.
GUNHAVER: A date??? With who?
FIGHTGAR: Princess! Man, is she hot!
GUNHAVER: Okay, then, can I come along? I need to see if you're my favorite Cheat Commando or not.
FIGHTGAR: Okay, but I need to get ready for the date now. Oh crap! I forgot to shave!
GUNHAVER: You never shave!
FIGHTGAR: I will now!
GUNHAVER: Please don't.
{Cut to outside a bathroom, where Gunhaver is waiting. Fightgar comes out, shaved and all.}
GUNHAVER: {shocked} Holy crap! Fightgar shaved! What next? Firebert having a cool commando name? It's just not right!
FIGHTGAR: Shut up! Now I need to look good for my date!
{Cut to a café. Gunhaver is sitting at a table and Fightgar (dressed in a dark green casual shirt, no bandana, and no ammo) and Princess are sitting on another table.}
FIGHTGAR: So after we eat, what do you want to do tonight?
PRINCESS: Well, how about we go shopping for stuff?
FIGHTGAR: Well...
{Cut to Gunhaver.}
GUNHAVER: {thinking} Man, this is boring, so this sucks. I wonder if I should continue thinking Fightgar is my favorite Cheat Commando.
{Cut to a later scene, where Fightgar and Princess are eating spaghetti from a plate. Suddenly, both of them are eating the same strand of spaghetti. Before they could finish the strand together, a bullet flies into the strand and shreds it into pieces, just missing Fightgar and Princess by inches. They angrily glare at Gunhaver, who is holding his pistol, laughing.}
GUNHAVER: {laughing} Sorry, but I didn't want this to get sappy!
{Cut to a later scene, where Gunhaver is bored at his table.}
GUNHAVER: This is boring plus boring times boring.
{Just then, there is a commotion. Pan out to reveal that Princess gets kidnapped by a mysterious kidnapper. Fightgar gets devastated.}
FIGHTGAR: NO!!! How dare you kidnap Princess! I must save her!
{Then Fightgar runs off. Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Ugh! No way! Fightgar is definitely the worst candidate on the Wall of Favorites! And I thought Princess won't be a victim of that damsel-in-distress crap! I wonder how they're doing right now?
{Cut to a dark castle. Inside a dark room lit by only candles, Fang is standing in front of Princess, who is strapped to a stone slab. Horrifying organ music is playing.}
FANG: At last, I have you all to myself, so... I guess I'll go and suck your blood now.
PRINCESS: No!
{Just then, we hear shouting. Fightgar (who looks like he regularly does, minus his 5 o'clock shadow) jumps into the room and points his gun at Fang.}
FIGHTGAR: Don't you dare suck her blood!
FANG: Oh yeah? Try shooting me.
{Fightgar shoots at Fang, doing absolutely nothing.}
FANG: I am UNDEAD!
{Then Fightgar picks up a rock and throws it at Fang, knocking him unconscious. Then Fightgar goes to Princess and frees her from the slab.}
FIGHTGAR: Oh Princess!
PRINCESS: Oh Fightgar!
{Cut to Gunhaver in front of the Alpha 1260.}
GUNHAVER: {typing} Oh brother. I hope that Princess is still in danger, for she lied to us, saying she won't need to be rescued. Well, I'm off to waste my time doing something.
{Gunhaver leaves. Then Alpha Stan appears to say the following message.}
ALPHA STAN:Click here to email Gunhaver at GEmail.exe
Easter Eggs
- Click on doing something to see this:
{Gunhaver and Foxface at that café where Fightgar and Princess were. Both are eating spaghetti and they're currently eating the same strand of spaghetti. Romantic music begins to play. Just then, a waiter comes.}
WAITER: Sorry lovebirds, but the café is closing now.
GUNHAVER: Oh man! Our date is ruined!
Fun Facts
- The conversation between Silent Rip and Fightgar is also in this page.
- Fightgar having a crush on Princess was first implied in Contestro.
- In that email, Gunhaver thought that Princess wouldn't need to be rescued, which also references famous video game princesses who are kidnapped and need to be rescued, like Zelda or Princess Peach.
- Gunhaver's remark about Fightgar shaving and Firebert getting a cool commando name is based on their action figure descriptions, they say Fightgar needs to shave and Firebert does not have a good commando name.
- The scenes with the two people eating the same strand of spaghetti are based on a scene in the Disney movie, The Lady and the Tramp.
- Fang was made in the Cheat Commandos Characters section.
